Chapter 3
… "Run Eliza! Run!" Monica screamed as loudly as her lungs would allow as her daughter suddenly found herself the opportunity she had been waiting for. The frightened child didn't need to be told a second time as she turned and bolted out the store's main entrance, in doing so, just barely escaping the grasp of Satan himself. But the devil was then infuriated with rage as he realized his main target had gotten away, and it was all because of one angel…and she was standing in this room.
Spinning around, the gunman held the handgun erect once more in Monica's direction, his hand trembling with anger and violence as he realized he had only her to blame for such a thing. "You're going to pay for this." He growled the vow in an almost frightening tone as his index finger tightened purposefully on the trigger and the subtle click of a gun reloading could be heard throughout the room. Monica closed her honey-brown eyes as tightly as her eyelids could go and braced herself for the terrible shot of pain she was sure was about to enter her chest, but it never came. For it was then that Andrew moved at impossible speed from across the store in one last desperate attempt to keep the promise he had made to himself that he would die before he let anything happen to his friend.
"Monica move!" Andrew's urgent voice merged in a horrible manner with the startling bang of a gunshot as he hit Monica from the side and they both crashed to the floor together. It was then that the gunman and his demon realized they were out of bullets and also raced from the store before anyone caught onto what they were up to. Monica groaned and rolled over uncomfortably on the ground as she quickly checked herself over for any injuries. There seemed to be none, but it was then that she caught site of the horrible crimson color staining her shirt, though she realized with horror that the blood was not her own. Glancing over at her friend, she immediately realized what had happened and she couldn't help but scream a desperate cry of sorrow. "Andrew!"
…Oh how Monica remembered that day all too well. She remembered the blood, the tears, the kiss they shared just before Andrew passed…and the promise. That was right. She remembered now. Andrew had made her make a promise to him. Those had been his final words to her. Oh how she remembered those gentle, caring words as his heart began to fail and he suddenly began to feel himself slipping away from the world…and her. He had made her promise him that she would never forget how much he loved her. And she never had, although it was becoming harder and harder with each year that passed. Each year that passed without him at her side. If he loved her so much, then why had he left her here? Why had he just abandoned her like that? Of course, somewhere deep inside her heart, she knew that wasn't true, but that was the way it felt on the most obvious surface.
She almost could no longer bear to think about the times when he was cracking jokes and smiling and kissing her cheek good morning or goodnight, for, the moment she brought herself to release those thoughts onto another topic, it was as though waking up from a paradise of a dream. One of those kinds where you finally have all your dreams come true and you are happier than you can ever remember…and then you feel it slipping away from you, gradually at first, until you finally bring yourself to open your eyes and it's all gone. Everything. Gone. The only difference was, with a dream, you can shrug it off and say 'oh well, never could have happened anyway'. But that was the trouble with this one. It had happened. It was real. And when Monica remembered that it was over and those times had long gone, it only reminded her of how alone she felt she was. What she would give to have spent just one more day holding his hand…
Unhappy Anniversary (Vitamin C)
You ask me, how am I?
Well I'm still standing, aren't I?
That's something, that's one thing that's gone my way
It's so hard, to go on, like everything's ok now
When inside, I still cry for yesterday
This is my unhappy anniversary
But I lie, saying it's just another day
This is my unhappy anniversary, oh
I know it's so stupid to still feel brokenhearted
I wonder if you know just how much I hurt
I drink up and think up a toast to numb the hours
To get through without you is so hard today
Cause it's
My unhappy anniversary
But I lie, saying it's just another day
Wishing you were here same time next year
Wishing you were here same time next year
And now it's near midnight, a few more minutes and I
Return to get back to my former life
Pretending our ending was not so bad, I know that
It's time to escape you until next year
When it's
My unhappy anniversary
And I lie saying it's just another day
This is my unhappy anniversary
But I smile like it's just another day
It's just my unhappy anniversary
It's just my unhappy anniversary
Suddenly feeling the threat of tears in her throat, Monica realized she couldn't stay here much longer, or else she might just start crying and never stop. Turning on her heel in a motion so fast in was almost aggressive, she forced herself to take a deep, cleansing breath, and walk away. Far away from here. She needn't walk long before she came to a pretty, little park and halted in her tracks at the entrance as her hazel eyes fell upon the same bench she had sat upon and cried her heart out the night Andrew died. She remembered how alone and vulnerable she felt. She remembered thinking, what am I ever going to do without him? The truth of the matter was, she had done nearly nothing since that horrible day five years ago. She was sure she hadn't completed two assignments since then and it had taken her nearly a year and a half just to get back to her old self again. She just never realized how difficult things would get if she lost him. She never knew how much he really meant to her. And by the time she realized it, it was too late. He was gone.
Knowing she didn't want to be anywhere else in particular, Monica plopped herself down carelessly on the bench and sighed in a desperate attempt to compose herself before she completely lost control. Focusing her attention on the clear, blue sky above, she forced herself not to think about her friend, but instead about her heavenly Father out there, whom she had to remember loved her unconditionally. She knew he didn't wish to see her like this. She knew it was more than likely breaking his heart and she tried as hard as she possibly could to think of something, anything else. It was then that a gorgeous, snowy white dove crossed the heavens before her as if to say, 'you're not alone'. Monica managed a miniscule, shaky smile as she witnessed the immaculate bird and suddenly she was reminded of the night Eliza was born.
Though it was difficult to recall anything but pain before the birth. She had never experienced something so intense and it frightened and agonized her to no limit. She remembered crying out, screaming in distress as the agony wracked her tiny frame. And then she remembered Andrew. He was there at her side the entire time. He promised he would never leave her as long as she needed him as he stood at her side and held her hand, all the while using his free one to stroke her sweat-soaked amber hair affectionately. She remembered the look in his eyes as he watched her in so much pain. She knew he would've liked nothing more than to have taken it all away. But all he could do was sit there and comfort her, tell her she was doing great and that it would all be over soon.
Well that was what she wanted now. For him to be there and comfort her and tell her all the pain was going to be over soon. But he wasn't. Still staring up at the heavens in something of a trance, Monica suddenly began to feel herself giving into all the emotion and tears that had built up inside her over the past years. Her eyes quickly glazed over with saltwater and she felt a wracking sob escape her petite body as that hardened scar in her heart finally split open painfully and the wound was once again exposed. Fortunately she was alone in the park and free to cry as much as she wished. She allowed that to happen, no longer caring how hard she had tried to keep it in. It had overflowed and that was that. It wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway.
Burrying her face in her hands, Monica sobbed so deeply that her lungs became sore and oceans of tears spilled over her angelic features. She knew it was sudden. She knew it was uncalled for, but she didn't care. She still loved Andrew and she couldn't hide it any longer. She couldn't just smile and pretend it was fine like she had been doing for so long now. She had to just let it out. She couldn't stand it anymore. Now that she was alone, she just didn't care anymore.
Finally pulling her face out of her hands, though still crying hard, she returned her glassy gaze to the skies, as if searching for someone she used to know. "Where are you?" She screamed in such a pained voice that it forced yet more tears from her eyes and she only felt the need to spur on. "You promised you would always be there for me!" She knew she was yelling. She didn't care. There was no one around to hear her anyway. She just wished he could. And now her choked voice returned to something barely above a whisper as she didn't stop there and she no longer cared of anyone heard her or not. "You promised you wouldn't leave me. But you did." She whispered more to someplace deep in her heart rather than screaming up to the skies, as her voice began to tire and she raised one hand and covered her mouth just to keep from another outburst such as that. She just wanted him back. All she wanted was Andrew.
But before she had a chance to do or say anything else, she suddenly felt a familiar presence sitting at her side and didn't even have to look to know whom it was once it began to speak. She would recognize that motherly, throaty voice anywhere. Though still, she did not glance up as she listened. "Baby, you know very well he never left you. He still loves you just as much as you love him." Tess scolded her former trainee gently as she draped a comforting arm across her old charge's petite shoulders and, feeling her consoling, familiar touch, Monica instantly turned on her seat and threw herself into her supervisor's embrace, sobbing into Tess' shoulder like a young child would a mother when they were upset.
Of course, Tess could never stand to turn her away, no matter how unreasonable she felt Monica was being. She was her baby. And she said nothing as she held her little Angel Girl in her strong arms and gently rocked her back and forth as though she were a little girl. How she loved her. She wanted her stop hurting more than anything else in the world, a similar feeling to Andrew's when he was with Monica the night she went into labor. Well, Tess was the same way. She just wanted to take the pain away. But the difference was, that night there was nothing Andrew could do but comfort her, now Tess really could take the pain away. For she had brought with her, news straight from the Father himself about Andrew and she was just itching to tell Monica about it. Of course, she had to wait until her baby managed to control herself once more.
"Baby, shh. Shh. I know, Angel Girl, but listen to me. Listen to me." Tess managed a decent smile upon her face as she pulled away and held her pupil at arms length just so she could see that Tess clearly had something to tell her and she understood immediately. Monica took a few deep breaths in an attempt to control her sobs, although her breathing was still unbelievably uneven and she raised one hand to wipe away any tears she could as long as they would stay away for the time being. It was then that Tess was clearly unable to contain her ear-to-ear grin at the excitement about what she was about to tell her trainee and she had a right to be excited, for it was something Monica never would have expected.
"Baby, I have something to tell you." Tess began quietly as she held eye contact with her charge and a smile so wide, Monica wasn't sure she had ever seen it so big and it definitely made her wonder. "It's about Andrew." But this was all Tess had to say before Monica's broken heart practically leapt back together and dropped into the pit of her stomach all at the same time. What did she mean, 'it's about Andrew'? What could she possibly have to tell her about Andrew now? Although there seemed to be only one answer for this and as much as Monica thought she knew what it was, she nearly vowed to kill herself if she was wrong. But she didn't have to wonder for long, for Tess then went on to explain, still holding that overjoyed expression.
"Oh my Angel Girl, Andrew…Andrew's back on schedule." It was the only way Tess knew how to tell Monica this and apparently, it was the right way, for Monica instantly jumped up from her seat and covered her mouth with both hands just to keep from screaming. Once she could feel her heartbeat again, she managed a word. Just one word. "What?" She exclaimed, not positive she had understood, but still unable to keep the inevitable smile from sneaking onto her angelic features. To Tess, she looked similar to the way she had when Tess had first informed her she was going to be promoted to caseworker. Only this time, she could tell, it was so much more important to her. A brand new set of tears had already sprung there way into Monica's eyes and blurred her vision as she begged Tess to repeat what she had just said, and so she did.
"He's fine, Monica. Alive, and back on schedule. I got the news straight from the Big Man and he said Andrew wants to see you right away, before he takes care of anything else." Tess chuckled, obviously realizing her prediction had been more than correct about Monica's reaction, for it looked as though her pupil was going through something similar to hyperventilation. Covering her mouth with both hands once more, she still let out a stifled scream of disbelief and joyful tears poured over her cheeks. It was everything she had wanted since the day Andrew died. Now she was getting him back and she couldn't think of anything more she wanted. This was it. She was going to see her best friend again, just like she had been dreaming about for so long. It reminded her of the day he died, everything had changed in the blink of an eye…and now it had changed back. When Andrew died, she died too and now it was though they were both alive again.
It seemed almost surreal. Too good to be true. It couldn't be possible, it just couldn't! Monica sobbed thank you's to the almighty Father in heaven and begged him to please not let this be another dream. But it wasn't. It was all true! She was getting her angel boy back and, for a moment, she thought she was going to faint, but she didn't, she just wanted to see him again. Plain and simple. She suddenly felt as if her entire body had flooded with cleansing, fresh waters as if to make her forget all those years of suffering and loneliness. The concept was almost too much for her to grasp. Last she knew, he was gone and she would never see him again and now everything had changed so drastically that she was almost unsure the entire situation had even hit her yet.
"Oh God! Almighty Father in heaven! God thank you! Thank you!" She sobbed as she dropped to her knees in the park grass and allowed all cleansing tears to spill off of her beautiful face and into the soil beneath her, as if washing away everything that had brought her down before. It was then that Tess' voice cut through her thoughts one last time as she felt the need to express this little detail as well. "He's on his way right now Monica. He should be here before sundown." She informed her quickly and, just as she had suspected, the moment the words escaped her lips, Monica's tears fell harder still as she thought about what was about to take place here, in this very park. Today. She would wait for him. He would be here. She was going to see Andrew again…
And so she reseated herself on the bench once she had controlled her tears and she waited…and waited…and waited. By sunset Tess was long gone and Monica was sure Andrew would show up any minute, striding in that confident manner he always had as he appeared around one corner or another. Monica waited for him, her heart pounding so loudly in her chest that she was sure anyone around for miles could hear it. She tried to plan out what she was going to say or what she was going to do, but she couldn't. Her stomach was busy doing flip-flops and thoughts were spinning through her mind like a whirlpool, unable to slow itself no matter how hard Monica tried. She was going to see him again. His hansom face, his gentle, tender voice. His hand would touch hers once again and she would hear him laugh. Just the thought of it brought back the fresh tears of excitement and she didn't care. She could've stood up on top of the Empire State Building and screamed out her joy to the world and she wouldn't have cared a smidge if anyone or everyone heard her.
But the minutes passed. Every second that went by as the sun slowly sunk beyond the horizon, Monica felt more and more of her happiness go with it. Where was he? He would come. Tess said he would come. But as she glanced back and forth along the park entrances, she realized she must have done so a billion times by now. But no, he would be here. He had to be here. But it was nearly dark now as a deep, navy blue was beginning to overtake the skies, which had previously displayed a brilliant pink of a sunset. Suddenly, new thoughts were beginning to creep their way into her head. Doubts. What if he really wasn't coming? She knew it was too good to be true! That was why it hadn't seemed real. But it couldn't have been a lie. Could it? Had that just been an awful trick her desperate mind had played on her? She tried to keep her hopes up, but she knew they were slipping away from her little by little as the last, little glimmer of the evening sun disappeared beyond the horizon and that was when Monica realized she had known all along it could never have been true. It was too good to be true. It was nightfall and Andrew wasn't coming.
Not even bothering to cry anymore, Monica stood from the bench and almost felt numb with all the mixed feelings flying through her heart. She couldn't even bring herself to tears anymore. She had cried enough today and she knew it. It was over. It had been over five years ago, she had just denied it then. Now she knew. Perhaps it was just the final step to getting over her friend's death. She forced herself to feel nothing as she turned and began to make her way down the path. But that was when it happened. She hadn't gone three steps down the path when a voice called out from behind her. That voice she had been waiting to hear for so long and suddenly, she could feel again and she knew it was real. "Sorry I'm late."