Title: There Are No Absolutes
Author: gothgurl666
Beta(s): gothgurl's boy & sadlilgothgirl
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making a profit off this fanfic.
Summary: AU. Harry Potter did not grow up with the Dursley's as planned. Instead Harry was left in the streets and Orphanage. There will be possible future slash and torture in this fic. Readers not interested leave now.
Rated: M
(A/N) Sorry it has taken so long to update. I'm just trying to finish senior year.
Oh, don't forget to update even if it is a flame I can deal.
Today is the day. The last day I will ever be here again. I won't come back. I'm leaving for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It doesn't matter that there is danger where I am going. After all it is a school. Part of me recognizes the naiveté of that statement but I hardly care.
It is like a wish coming true; a wish that I had believed impossible. I had always thought that I would amount to something. Call me arrogant but I would accept nothing less. But I had never imagined that I could achieve the heights that I will. The opportunities are endless.
The fact that I am famous does complicate things. I really do hate publicity but more than that I will not be able to establish my own name. Everything I do will be will be watched by all and judged by the false speculations that they have deluded themselves into believing that a perfect hero should be. I am not a hero and by far not perfect.
And then there is this Voldemort. I know that I should hate him. He did kill my parents but I never knew them. They mean nothing. I know that I don't like him but then again this supposed light symbol Albus Dumbledore doesn't have the best rep. with me right now. In fact, I feel more animosity towards this Dumbledore than Voldemort. I'll wait and see.
The new headmistress is personally going to drop me off at the train station. The old one being in a mental institution, imagine that.
I start to pack all of my possessions noticing that there are not very many. My books I reverently store in the bottom of my trunk. Julius Caesar, Battle Royale, Human Psychology and many moreall completely different yet somehow not. They all reflect humans' nature I notice absentmindedly.
I turn at a knock on the door.
The headmistress' voice floated into the room, "I'll be at the front door. Do not take too long. We have a deadline to make."
I hear her high heels making that peculiar 'thump' that only stiletto make. I turn back to my possessions. The silver necklace that Tsarr gave me is lying on the bed. It is perhaps the only thing that he has given me that I have not given back or thrown away. It is a silver snake. At first glance it would seem rather simple if it were not for the snake's exquisite brilliant emerald eyes. I can stare into those emeralds for hours and it is like I am entranced. I reach down and pick up the necklace. I hold it over the trunk. I hesitate. Instead of dropping it I decide to wear it for the first time. For some reason it seems right. Besides it matches the green shirt I am wearing with my flattering black jeans.
With everything packed I walk toward the door. Just even with the doorframe I look back for one last time at the place I have called Hell. It looks just the same as it always has. My eyes sweep the room from the dirty floor to the disgusting mattresses. I spit on the floor and head towards the entrance of the building.
The headmistress is there waiting for me a little impatiently. We exit the building and enter the car that is waiting for us. As we ride away from everything I have ever known and excited shiver runs down my spine. I know that the building is probably a little speck by now but I never look back.
We arrive at the train station with plenty of time to spare. The headmistress insisted on seeing me off at the platform. I know that she cannot see me off. I can't let her see any of the magic.
I followed her all the while trying to figure out a way to ditch her when I saw them. It was a huge family all with fiery locks. But that was the least interesting thing about them. One was carrying an owl in a cage like the ones at the Diagon Alley pet shop. They are like me I know it. While the headmistress stops a young man in a train station uniform, I simply slip into the chaos that seems to follow in this family's wake.
They come between platforms nine and ten. I watch as the oldest casually leans against the wall and then he is just not there. I watch as the next boy and a small girl also disappear and I realize with a flash of annoyance at myself that it is simply a fake barrier. As the last of the family ending with a plump woman enter the platform I walk up to it and casually look around and then I walk through.
As soon as I enter I am amazed at the sheer magnificence of the glowing train. Looking up at it with my trunk in tow reminds me of the first time that I ever saw the London Bridge. I was six years old at the time. I was in absolute wonder at this object, this manmade structure. I was young at the time and yet I still remembered that I could do more than just raise a miraculous object. I could become what I knew I could be. The very next day I found myself at the public library beginning my quest and thirst for knowledge.
I realize I had been standing there just staring at the gleaming red steam engine for a while and a familiar desire filled my being. It was the same burning drive I experienced when I was but six years old.
A booming voice suddenly announces our departure in five minutes.
I collect my stuff and proceed to board the train feeling so much older than the other children frantically running about and saying goodbye to mommy and daddy.
The compartment that I found was near the end. I decide to be alone for a while before I look for Draco.
I hear the magnificent engine start and we head away from all I have known. It reminds me of another section of my life that I have tried to forget.
The compartment door slides open unexpectedly. Draco and another boy enter the compartment shortly followed by two boys that remind me of gorillas.
"There you are. Harry Potter, this is Blaise Zabini."
I looked at this new boy that Draco had just introduced. He has dark hair but not black like mine looks. His eyes are blue like mine are green; startlingly so. Like sapphires to my emeralds. Those eyes shine with quiet intensity that suggests intelligence and calculation. This one would keep his own council even if his friend is Draco Malfoy. That is what did for me. I extend my hand to him. He had been quietly examining me as well but he took my hand.
"It is a pleasure to meet you", I say quietly but confident.
"The pleasure is mine", he replies.
His voice is clear but very soft. I like him and distrust that liking just as instantly. It has been a long time that I have liked anyone without knowing him or her first.
All this time him and I had just been staring at each other, I had not realized that Malfoy had been ranting. I turn my attention to him just in time to catch him mid-tirade.
". . . Weasley and that lot will surely be in Gryffindor along with the other self-sacrificing morons. Harry, Blaise and I can help you. You need only to recognize the losers from the winners. We are winners . . . ."
He keeps going on with his grand plan. I know that he wants to try to solidify his power base after I upset it the last time we met but he is getting on my nerves.
The compartment door slid open to reveal one of the same redheads from the group that he followed to enter the platform.
Blaise and Draco turn their attention to the redhead boy.
"Red hair, dirty clothes and tattered books you must be a Weasley," sneered Draco.
The boy's face turned bright red from embarrassment and anger, clashing horribly with his hair.
"And you are a Malfoy, a spoiled rotten brat."
I agreed but decided not to say anything. After all, he couldn't be completely spoiled. Yeah, right, and Stalin was a nice guy.
The two gorilla boys moved up to the front looking intimidating. Weasley's face then began to turn a green with fright.
Trying to save face he muttered something about brats and slimy snakes and then turns and rushes out.
I think Draco is relying too heavily on others for his threat. Nothing can intimidate a person more than raw power and a little dramatics. Oh well, there is still time to change the young Malfoy. If I am sorted in the same house as he is. No way to know quite yet.
I read Hogwarts A History but there is no hint to how you are sorted just the characteristics of each House. Truthfully I do not know which house I will be in or even which house I want to be in. I wish I could have more time to study which house would put me at the best advantage. After all I am sure there is always a way to cheat if I knew where I want to go.
Malfoy decides that we should put on our robes now. Why the hell not. After we change Malfoy ropes Zabini into a game of exploding snaps. I decide to reread Hogwarts A History to search for clues on the sorting even though I know I won't find any.
It seems like no time at all and we are pulling into a station. We are told to leave our stuff on the train. Kiesha, I decide definitely to take with me. She has been hiding at the bend of my neck. I think she is still a little unsure of the new changes. She'll come around soon and be full of her snarky sense of humor that all snakes seem to possess in varying degrees.
We are all ushered into tiny boats by a giant of a man with a questionable intelligence level.
While we are in the boats I keep seeing movement in the water that definitely makes me step further towards the center of the boat. Let whatever it is eat some idiot peering over the edge.
We reach a wide opening from the narrow path we were in and suddenly the castle came into view. The windows caught the moonlight and sparkle like the stars in the sky. There are many turrets and towers. I love it.
We reached the cliff bottom where there is an area to dock. We all file out onto the rocks and pebbles.
"Oy, you there! Is this your toad?" said the giant. A plump boy came clambering over to claim the toad. A toad, how lame. Malfoy thinks the same and decides to be much more vocal about it. I barely even know him and yet I feel as though I could predict his every move.
We all start to walk through a passage towards a huge oak door. The giant man pounds on the door three times with his huge fists.
The door snaps open almost immediately. A tall very stern appearing woman is in the doorway.
"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," the giant said.
"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."
She leads us through another corridor into a huge entrance hall then on into a small empty room off the side of the hall.
"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of –term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will need to be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in the house dormitories and spend free time in your house common room."
She then proceeds for the next ten minutes to tell us all about the houses that any idiot should know already.
"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."
She leaves after telling us she will be back shortly.
I sit near the back while Draco talks with other students he must know and I listen to the speculation as to how we are sorted. The best one he heard was about wrestling a troll.
A few minutes later McGonagall reappears and everyone files behind her. I can admit to myself that I am a little nervous.
We enter the main hall and hundreds of faces are staring at us. I ignore the butterflies in my stomach. McGonagall sets a stool in front of as and on top of the stool in a battered hat.
Everyone is staring at this hat and I want to shout sarcastically what is it going to do get up and sing and amazingly enough it does:
"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge me on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
There daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find there kind.
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in good hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"
No secrets. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I don't want the hat to know everything. They will probably arrest me if they knew. I'm so dead.
McGonagall steps forward with a long roll of parchment. "When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted. Abbott, Hannah!"
"HUFFLEPUFF"
"Bones, Susan"
"RAVENCLAW"
Then another was sorted into Ravenclaw. Followed by the first Gryffindor, Lavender Brown.
A few more were sorted but I didn't pay them much attention, wondering if the hall would notice if I bolted for the door. Probably, I thought sarcastically.
A "Granger, Hermione" became a Ravenclaw.
When it is Draco Malfoy's turn he just saunters over to the hat and it barely even brushes his head when the hat shouts, "SLYTHERIN". No surprise their even though most people would think that Malfoy is the epitome of the House would be wrong. A true Slytherin you wouldn't see coming.
The list of sorted students sorted became larger as I wait for my turn. Finally I hear, "Potter, Harry"
Well it's now or never. I stroll confidently over to the stool even though I feel anything but confident. Whispers break out all over the hall as I approach the hat. I place it on my head. I hear a tiny voice right next to my ear. "Hmm, a challenge. Let's see, plenty of courage although maybe not quite the courage that the Gryffindors' possess. A brilliant mind you have. Whichever house you end up in you will be one of the smartest. Ohh, yes, loyalty to. Though you do not trust everyone and your loyalty is a fragile thing. You have a strong ambition. You can not allow yourself to be second place. Now where to put you. Well, perhaps not Hufflepuff. Their naïve nature would not sit well with you. How about Gryffindor. You do seem to share their knack for trouble. Then again perhaps not. Well you have the mind for Ravenclaw but you do not seek the knowledge for the sake of learning it is a means to an end for you. Which means that Slytherin is all that is left but before I make my final decision what do you have to say?" I agree with most of the hats decisions but . . . why not Gryffindor I know I could fit in. Perhaps if I am in Gryffindor then I will not be as questioned about my supposed allegiance then if I am placed in Slytherin. "Very clever, but you forget I know even your thoughts. Do not worry your secrets are safe with me. SLYTHERIN!"
The hat shouted the last word to the entire hall. A dead silence follows. Damn hat. I take it off and walk calmly to the Slytherin table that suddenly bursts into a more boisterous applause than anyone else had received this evening. I take a seat next to Malfoy who is smirking.
And then almost immediately after that what I had feared takes place. The other houses start their accusations. I hear quiet whispers from some houses and not so quiet from others all saying about the same thing. The most ridiculous one being that I am the next Dark Lord. I act as though I can not hear any of them and turn my attention to the Sorting Ceremony.
"Weasley, Ronald"
The red-headed boy from the train walks over to the hat as Malfoy is sneering heavily. He sits there for awhile and it almost appears as though the boy and the hat are having a silent argument. Finally the hat shouts, "HUFFLEPUFF!"
Another dead silence fills the hall and Weasley falls off the chair.
Apparently he was supposed to get into another house. I guess Malfoy did mention something about Gryffindor.
The boy has to be ushered into his seat at the Hufflepuff table while he is shouting about there being a mistake and a resorting needs to take place.
Blaise is then sorted into Slytherin like somehow I knew he would.
When everyone is seated a man who must be Albus Dumbledore stands. "Welcome, welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank You!
"That's our headmaster," I mutter distastefully to Blaise while the entire school cheers.
"Unfortunately," he replies.
Then the food just appears at the table. I know if I had just a little less pride than I do my mouth would be hanging open. There is roasted chicken, roast beef and pork chops for meat. Also there is boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, pudding, peas, carrots and so much more. I decide to have a little of everything.
After everyone had there fill the headmaster had another announcement about not going into the forbidden forest. No need to tell me. It is probably forbidden for a reason. Another announcement is about the third floor corridor on the right side is out of bounds. He also says that death could be a result of going there. Once again definitely not going there.
Finally as a house we head down a long round of corridors into the dungeons. We come to a place that must be the entrance to the dormitories. The prefects inform us that the password is 'pureblood'.
After we are all within the dormitory Snape emerges from the shadows. "For those of you who do not know I am Professor Snape and the head of Slytherin House and I want to let all of you know that I will not tolerate any foolishness or stupidity from my house. If I find out any of you have besmirched the name of this house in any way I will have you back on the train before you can say expelled."
With that last message Snape seemed to just melt back into the shadows and is gone. I want to know how he does that.
The common room is done in of course silver and green but elegantly. I decide I will investigate it more thoroughly in the morning.
The prefects lead as the first year rooms and I go to the bed that has my trunk at the foot of it. It is between Zabini's and Malfoy's.
I wish then a good night and go to my bed and draw the curtains around it. I think I fall asleep even before my head hits the pillow.