Chapter 11

Monica lay on the hospital bed next to her daughter that night, holding her close and allowing the gentle, consistent beeps of her heart monitor to lull her to a fitful sleep. Eliza's teacher must have apologized to her millions of times for everything he had done and he had also informed her that because of this incident, he was going to get help for his drinking habit. He was going to turn himself in and clean up. It was at that moment that Monica realized that her daughter really had done her job. She had finished her assignment and had become a true caseworker, but there seemed to be nothing to celebrate now. She would never get to finish the rest of her job and so there was nothing to rejoice. Nothing at all.

Andrew still hadn't even shown his face in Eliza's hospital room. Monica knew full well that he wanted to see her more than anything, but he was tentative about coming face-to-face with Monica once more. Yet still, she couldn't help but feel full and complete resentment toward him. She didn't want to see him anyway. She didn't even know if he was still out in the waiting room or not. Knowing Andrew, he still hadn't moved from his spot out there, but there was a chance he had gone home.

But as she lay there next to her daughter, Monica's purposeful dreams brought her somewhere completely different into a totally new situation, far away from the doctors and the hospital around her, far away from her daughter and from her own broken heart. It brought her to a completely different time, five years past…

"Andrew, what did you do that for?" She scolded through a choked voice as she took his hand with her own and used her free hand to cup the side of his weary face. His eyes glazed over with pain, Andrew managed to open them enough to just look up at her as his heart bled freely inside his chest. He knew he didn't have much time.

"Monica…" He began in a voice so strained and agonized that it forced yet more tears to form in Monica's eyes so she could barely see anymore. "Monica, Eliza needs you. I…I couldn't just stand by and…let that happen." Even with the effort of these few words, his features twisted in a painful expression and the only ease he received was when he made eye contact with Monica and her beautiful face looked down upon him with such love and affection that it made his damaged heart melt with his own love for her. The last thing he wanted to do was to leave her but now he realized his choice had long since expired. Then he remembered little Eliza out there alone with those demons on the loose.

"Monica, go find Eliza. She's…out there by…by herself." He reminded her quickly, though he was forced to pause several times while bursts of pain shot through his chest as he spoke. But Monica only shook her head, the tears still spilling freely from her already blurred eyes. "No Andrew, I won't leave you." She managed to choke out with a stubborn tone in her soft, Irish lilt, the flow of emotion and love spilling from her words like tears spilling from a broken heart. Andrew opened his mouth to try and protest, but he could barely speak now and Monica was suddenly all too aware of his trembling body beneath hers and she knew. She didn't want to give in to it, but she knew.

"Andrew, I love you. Oh please Father, don't let him die. Please." Monica begged as she raised her teary eyes to the heavens. She knew well enough that angels couldn't die but their human bodies could and if that happened to Andrew now, she didn't know what would happen. Would she ever see him again? She couldn't bear the thought of it as she lay there next to him, using the word 'die' freely without thinking a thing about her choice of vocabulary, as long as the Lord got her message. And he did. But that didn't change what was inevitable to happen.

It was then that Andrew managed to raise his hands to his friend, cupping her angelic face affectionately as if to reassure her that he loved her in case she didn't know already. "I…love you too Monica. Promise me you'll…never forget that." He whispered as he stared up into her pretty eyes with his. But Monica wouldn't listen to such things. She denied the situation completely as she shook her head and yet an entirely new set of tears poured over her cheeks. "Don't talk like that. You're going to be fine." She assured, though it was more for herself than for him. For as he spoke these words, Monica was all too aware that her heart was slowly breaking inside her as she watched her best friend slip away from her. It was too much for her to bear as she contemplated the fact that this could be the last few seconds she would ever spend with her dear friend. Salty, sorrowful tears stung at her eyes and throat as Andrew managed to shake his head at her words.

"No Monica…I can…I can feel it." He replied as he began to feel himself slipping away from the world around him. There was nothing either of them could do. But how Monica wished she could do something. Anything. She loved him too much to let him go like this. She couldn't let him leave her and give up. Quite suddenly, as she looked down upon him lying there, she remembered the day they met and all the years that followed. Those times he had asked her to dance and she remembered how wonderful it had been twirling around him on the dance floor. She never thought this would happen. He had always been there for her and she couldn't imagine a single day without having him there by her side and then she realized that throughout all those years, she had taken every second of it for granted.

"Andrew, I love you so much." She sobbed as her tears fell from her face and landed lovingly over Andrew's wounded heart. But then Monica found her self doing something she never thought she'd do. But she didn't know how else to tell him how much she really loved him and she realized she might never get another chance to do so. Leaning down a little further, she crossed the small distance to his lips and met them with her own, caressing them with such love and affection that Andrew's heart swelled with adoration and the one hand that had been left cupping her face pulled her down a little more firmly. They kissed passionately, knowing they were best friends, but had such love for each other that it was a way of saying goodbye. For then, quite suddenly, Monica felt Andrew release her and pull away as his weary head fell back to the floor and his breathing suddenly became labored and shallow.

"Andrew no! Please! Don't give up!" Monica cried the plea desperately as she watched him and now she was sure the tears would never stop as his eyelids began to droop and his body stilled slightly. "I love you Monica. Promise me…you'll remember." He whispered so quietly now that Monica could barely hear him and she was sobbing too deeply now to say a word of protest. All she could do was watch…and nod. The pain was too much for her to bear. She had pushed aside all denial now as she confronted the truth face to face. There was nothing she could do and she reached across his chest and took his hand while she cried. She knew her friend's life was about to end, but their friendship would live forever. She had made the promise, just as Andrew had made the promise to himself that he would never let anything happen to Monica.

It was only mere seconds later when Andrew forced his eyes open one last time, holding on that extra moment just to look at her and make sure she was the last thing he saw. Then he could hold on no longer and his eyelids slid shut again and the hand that had been holding Monica's went limp in her hold.

…Monica started with a small gasp of protest and woke back in the hospital, five years later. She was suddenly aware of how shallow her breathing had become and how quickly her heart was currently racing. She tried to calm herself. She didn't want to care. But the truth of the matter was…she did. That horrible moment rolled on over and over in her memory as she sat up in the hospital bed. "I love you too Monica. Promise me you'll never forget that. I love you Monica. Promise me you'll remember…"

She had managed somehow to block out that terrible memory, but it had returned to haunt her now, as she sat, resting, alone in her daughter's room. All too suddenly, she wanted more than anything to be back in Andrew's arms, realizing everything she'd forgotten. She'd made a promise…and she'd broken it. She'd forgotten. She'd forgotten how much he loved her…and, God forgive her, she'd forgotten how much she loved him. Oh how she loved him. Every feeling she had ever felt for him came screaming back to her all too suddenly and the tears came so quickly she hadn't even the chance to choke them back. They flowed freely over her pretty features, drawn forth no-doubt by the uncontrollable, forceful sobs that now wracked her petite body.

Resting her face in one hand, she just sat there for several long minutes, crying. All she wanted was to feel his arms around her once more. To rest her head against his chest. To hear his tender voice whisper his love for her in her ear again. It was a frighteningly familiar feeling as she recalled how exactly it felt in those past five years when Andrew had been there when she'd needed him most. But this time, it seemed, there wasn't a hope for her to ever have that love back again. She longed for it more than anything in her time of need, but it seemed impossible that he could ever forgive her after what she had done and it panged her with horrible stabs of guilt to even remember how she had treated him just hours before. She knew she wouldn't be able to bear confronting him again, but how she wished she could…