Chapter 15:

I shot out of the bed in a cold sweat, breathing heavily and wand at the ready, shining a bright light around the room. Once again, another nightmare of my father, Voldemort, returning and coming for the students that I am now part of protecting. But I was never able to, he started with the first years, then everyone, one by one, all the students getting tortured and then killed…until Harry Potter was the last one. Then my father would somehow take over my body and make me kill him with my own hands, like a Muggle, not a wizard. He always whispers to me, saying that he deserves to suffer more than anyone else. Then once I killed Harry, he turned to me and made me kill myself…which is when I would always wake up.

I threw the thin blanket off, deciding against attempting to sleep anymore, instead opening my windows and conjuring a glass of water that I chugged. I glanced at the clock and realized that I had overslept…again. I sighed and knew I was going to miss the feast, the sorting, everything. I took a nice cold shower, the icy water waking me up fully and making me forget about the dream…at least for the moment. I dressed in a long skirt, deep blue with black swirling designs on it. I pulled on a tank top, solid black and quickly brushed my hair before tying it into a loose ponytail.

I opened my door to leave, but tripped over the person that was standing in front of it, hand raised as if to knock. I recovered quickly and got up, ready to yell at whatever student was bothering me. "Phoebe." I froze when he spoke, his voice taking me back years, to when I was just a student myself. "Remus?" I blinked and he stepped into the light, smiling as best he could, but he just looked so tired that I sighed and smiled back. He motioned for me to follow him and I did, silently hoping that he was leading me to food. He paused and glanced at me. "I see you are just as beautiful as before." "I see that you are still wearing your curse behind your eyes." I replied and he nodded, turning away and continuing down the halls.

"Are you hungry?" I told him I was and he opened the grand hall doors, it was completely empty now, although there were two place settings, at the teachers table, right beside each other. We took the seats and food appeared, but Remus didn't take much, only a few things to nibble on so I could eat. I filled my plate and paused, then turned my chair slightly so that I was almost facing him. "I didn't realize that Dumbledore had hired you for the new defense against the dark arts." "Yes, it was a last minute decision…I wasn't sure I was going to be welcome here. Then I heard that you were being promoted to a teaching position and I wanted to see you again."

I nodded and touched his scarred hand. "It is good to see you. I was always worried about what had become of the group after…you know." "Yeah, you disappeared as well, we all thought that you were lost to us as well. But then Dumbledore said you were just confused and heartbroken about Lily and James." I looked away, taking my hand from his and playing with my fork. "I didn't know what to do…or even think. I still can't believe that he would do that." "It is hard to believe any of it…but it was impossible to see coming. He played us all for fools." I shook my head and looked into his eyes. "Remus, I know it's stupid of me, but I just can't believe the stories. Sirius would not do the things he is accused of."

"Phoebe, we all thought we knew him." "But I do know him…or at least back then I did." "What do you mean?" he asked and I took a bite of food to give myself an excuse to not speak. Sirius and I secretly saw each other in school, which continued for a while after we graduated, but we swore no one would know. We never really seemed like each others types, it was hard to believe that I liked him as much as I did back then. But then he betrayed us all and it ended with three of our friends being killed…James, Lily and Peter. And now he escaped prison, probably to finish the job of killing Harry. But I wasn't about to let that happen.

Remus and I talked for a little while longer and then I retired back to my room, my mind reeling with memories of the past and thoughts about the present and plans about the future. How could I protect Harry, he made it clear last year that he wanted me to stay away from him, clearly he hated me now. I sat on my bed and looked around, there was no way for Sirius to get into the castle, it's too protected. So I need not worry about Harry, he is safe as long as he remains inside the school barrier. I cleared my head and laid back, slowly feeling myself drift into a dreamless sleep. Instead of dreams, I replayed memories of Sirius and I sneaking around seeing each other, our kisses and talks, almost getting caught and the white lies we used to cover our butts.

**Dream Memory**

I giggled quietly as Sirius was kissing along my neck, I tried to stop him, but he was holding my hands in his and I couldn't get away. "They'll hear." I hissed at him and he smiled at me, but then went back to his kisses, making me bite my lip to hold back the giggling. "Shhh. Did you guys hear that?" we both froze and stared, hoping that the group wouldn't come near the corner. We waited and waited and finally we heard their shoes leaving and we sat down beside each other and just smiled. "We can't do this anymore." I told him in a whisper.

He just smiled at me, saying, "That's what you've said the last three times we've done this." he gestured to his chest and then to me. "I know that, but I'm serious this time. It's too hard to hide anymore, Lily swears she saw you checking out my butt the other day." "She's right, I was." I huffed and rolled my eyes. "That's what I mean! If she has no problem seeing it, then everyone can see it." "But the way we act when everyone else is around says differently." he countered and I nodded slightly, he was right. We acted as if we couldn't stand being around each other, always making snide comments and sometimes even being plain out mean.

Yet when our meeting times came, it was as if the world faded away and nothing else mattered except the way his hands felt in mine and the way he looked into my eyes. Our meetings were nearly perfect…nearly. I blinked and stood up, making him wrap his arms around my waist. "Sirius, it's time, we gotta go." "But we haven't even been here long." "Too long. Lily will be wondering where I am." "Let them wonder." he whispered and placed his head on my stomach as if it would freeze me in place against him. "I-I just can't. This can't be happening." "What do you mean?" I looked down at him, he looked so innocent and had a sweet look in his eyes.

"I don't want to keep hiding like this…" "I don't either!" he said, hopping up and nearly knocking me over. "So let's not hide anymore. They won't care that we care about each other, they will be happy for us." he had a bright light in his eyes and I pushed him down into a sitting position and made him stay, knowing he was just about to run off to tell everyone. "We can NOT do that." "Is it because of the whole James thing. Because I'm sure he would get over it fast." "It's not that. It's a lot of things. We don't really fit together, Sirius. I mean see how easy it is for everyone to believe we almost hate each other?" "Yeah, so what?" "It shouldn't be that easy to believe, if we were really meant to be with each other." I said and peeked out of the corner before leaving him sitting there, unable to say anything.

**End**

I opened my eyes and found a starry night sky staring back at me. I groaned and rolled over, trying to figure out why on earth the past kept coming back to haunt me. That time was long gone, just like my life when I cared about Sirius Black. I tried to get back to sleep but found it too difficult, there wasn't any way I could sleep with such things on my mind, I needed an escape. I opened the window, letting the slow breeze let into the stuffy room and Rain took off out, clearly not worried about me or my dreams. Tomorrow was the first day of the year, I would have to see Harry Potter and try to get him to talk to me…I needed to make sure he was going to be alright.