Chapter 19:
As Christmas arrived, I assisted with decorating the Grand hall, enjoying not having to speak about personal stuff. We were finishing up the tree and Remus was smiling as he handed a crystal ball to hang up where I was on the ladder. "There are spells to make this easier, you know?" he chuckled and I nodded. "I like doing it this way. It doesn't hurt to do things the old fashion way, right?" he grinned and looked behind him, I guess he sensed someone was coming up to us. I followed his gaze and saw Dumbledore coming straight for us. "Merry Christmas to you both. You seem carefree today."
I nodded and slid down the ladder, hopping off and greeting him. "Headmaster, is everything alright?" Remus asked and Dumbledore shook his head, telling us he just came to visit and see how the decorations were coming along. "Dumbledore, can I speak freely with you about Sirius Black?" I asked, making Remus turn and look at me. "Of course. I am listening." I took a breath, wondering how I could word this without revealing any feelings I might or might not have for Black anymore. "Has there been anymore sightings? Has he been seen in the castle again? I feel it's important to keep me updated as I have swore to protect this school and the students…Harry Potter is in the most danger."
"Phoebe, I will continue to keep all the professors updated as I am. I do also believe that Harry is in the most danger as Black is coming for him. I would like you and Remus, along with a couple other professors, to begin a nightly round of the entire castle. Each taking a different sector each night. Pairing up in twos to keep watching the other's back." I agreed quickly, he paired me with Remus for the first night, telling us to take the upper towers right after the students are in bed. After the Christmas Eve feast was over, we began our search without speaking, both unsure of where we stood with the other. "I doubt he would come back so soon, he's going to keep his distance for a while." Remus commented and cleared his throat right after.
"I'm sure you're right, but it is best that we not take those types of chances with the students and with Harry's life. It's dangerous for them to even remain in the school, knowing that Sirius has already gotten in once." he nodded and sighed. "How are you going to handle him if you find him Phoebe?" I paused and looked at him, his eyes were soft, worried. "I'm not sure what you mean by that." "If he tries to hurt Harry or any of the students, we are swore to protect them all at any cost. What will you do if you find him and he attacks? He was our friend, he didn't give us any clue that he was on your father's side, betraying us all and assisting to kill our friends. What are you going to do to him when he is found?"
I couldn't keep looking at him, I knew that my emotions would give away the way I used to feel toward Sirius. "I'll do my job and protect the school, along with anyone in it…at any cost." I quickened my pace, not wanting to have to talk again. "He's not here, Lupin. Let's head back." He glanced around before nodding, agreeing and said he would walk me to my room before updating Dumbledore. Neither of us said anything else, until I opened my door and Remus caught my arm, pulling me into a hug. "I understand how you feel Phoebe. He was special to us, it was hard to lose him like that. Don't be so hard on yourself."
I looked up at him and smiled sadly, shrugging a bit. "I know, I can't help it. He was a big part of my past…all of you were. I never fit in until the night I met all of you. It's a deep wound that I am not sure will ever heal Remus. I could be broken…forever." I felt my emotions beginning to get out of control as I almost let it slip that I cared about Sirius like that…more than a friend. "Oh Phoebe…" Remus's voice was so soft I almost didn't hear him. He leaned down at me, as if he was going to do something he was going to regret later. I leaned back, away from his advancing lips, making him realize that wasn't going to happen.
"I-I'm sorry. I don't know." I stepped out of his arms and shook my head. "Forgive me Remus, I don't think of you in that way. You are a friend, always have been, always will be. I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression." he went to say something, but I heard a sound and whipped out my wand as Remus turned and did the same. We stared into the darkness, searching for the reason of the noise. "Phoebe, stay here. I'll go check it out." he went forward before I could answer and I heard him cast Lumos to reveal anything. A few minutes later he returned shaking his head. "Nothing. Probably just a bird or cat."
He met my eyes and looked away quickly, sighing. "I'll leave you here now, I'm going to see Dumbledore and let him know there was no sign of Black. Goodnight." he walked away still shaking his head and I groaned, walking into my room. "Remus, you're sweet…just not what I'm looking for." I breathed to myself and went to bed, my mind swirling with memories of Sirius. When I woke up and dressed for the next day, I found a note under my door, Rain standing beside it like a guard dog. I quickly opened it and stared in horror at the handwriting. It was Sirius Black writing me a letter…warning me to stay away from Harry and not get in his way.