Rebirth of the Evangelion
Rei cautiously walked into the dark room. It was almost pitch black, but she could see computer monitors and equipment on the far side.
What caught her attention was not what or who was in the room, but the window peering into the room next to the one she was in.
"Ah, Ms. Ayanami. You made it I see. Getting straight to the point then: we need your help."
Rei automatically walked up beside her captain, both facing through the glass. Shinji was in a straightjacket, sitting with his head down in the other room. Rei instantly felt a surge of emotion inside her and clutched her heart instinctively.
"Are you alright?" Rei noticed the captain staring at her now. She slowly removed her hand and nodded. She wasn't quite sure herself, but for a second, she felt as if some past memory had been triggered. One of despair…
"Why is he being held here?" Rei's voice instantly became icy.
The captain turned away as he stared through the glass and spoke. "We're not quite sure ourselves. This is the safest environment at the moment." He saw Rei look at him and he continued, removing a clipboard from under his left arm. "The report stated that the mission was successful. Though, a few minutes after that, there was a report that Unit-01 had discontinued all external activity. We were unsuccessful in extracting the pilot for several hours. Finally, using force, we were able to remove the plug cover. Thankfully, the plug inside the mecha seemed to be ejected automatically."
The captain sighed as he turned the page. "As soon as we had removed the seal, the pilot lunged at the first crew member, knocking him unconscious. The pilot then proceeded to try and flee from the area, ignoring commands to halt. We had no choice but to stun him." The captain then closed the clipboard, replacing it under his arm as he spoke. "I don't know what happened, but something has affected his mental stability."
Rei was silent for a few moments. "His mental stability?"
The captain looked at her. "Well, he won't respond to us. He has been trying to escape every opening we give him. Although he's quiet right now for instance, our monitors state that he has heightened brain activity. We assumed you would be the best person to sort this out quickly, for we need to wrap things up as soon as possible. You should know him best out of all of us correct?"
Rei didn't like the way the captain had put that last comment, but she thought she knew how people were feeling right now. With the current results, all the people around her were confident that they might win the war. Now their confidence borders on uncertainty. Rei did not like the result, for it meant that these people were beginning to depend too much on the Evangelions.
"I have one condition," Rei stated. The Captain nodded…
Shinji sat inside the cell. His straightjacket was white, the chair was white, the entire room was white. He kept his eyes closed, as not to face the light. He willingly held himself in darkness. He did not want to see things, he did not want to think. He wanted to run away.
He had killed. Mercilessly. Willingly. He even felt pleasure in it. He was more than disgusted with himself. He didn't want this. He didn't want to do anything anymore, he didn't want to risk hurting others. If he just did nothing, he wouldn't need to be afraid, right?
He sat there, enveloped by the darkness his mind had created for him. Time did not exist to him, he was only left with despair and sadness, closing his mind off to the world. His memories swirling in front of him: blood, destruction, death…
…and warmth.
Shinji's eyes shot open as he felt warm skin touch his cheek.
He slowly looked up, letting Rei's hand continue to gently caress the side of his cheek. She was kneeling in front of him, as he sat staring above her in shock.
"…Rei?"
Rei looked straight at him and Shinji felt that her eyes were looking not just at him, but through him, sensing his misery. Her cold eyes no longer seemed to be so threatening, but showed more concern inside them. His brain froze at this sudden act of caring. He wasn't sure what to think, so he let Rei continue to hold him.
"Shinji."
Shinji was only shocked for a moment, before he relaxed. Rei appeared to be different whenever she referred to him as 'Shinji', not 'Ikari.' He preferred it that way too. He sighed and let his head drop down once again. Rei let her hand slip off confused and Shinji wished he hadn't moved, but Rei tried again.
"Shinji."
He looked up, and Rei continued to look straight at him. After another minute had gone by, Shinji became rather nervous: "Ummm…" Rei continued to stare at him and Shinji definitely began to feel slightly uneasy. Self-pity was overcome by curiosity: "Um, Rei?"
"Yes?"
"… H-how come you're staring at me?"
Rei's eyes widened and suddenly looked away. "I am sorry." Shinji instantly saw her wince slightly. "I can not think of any words of comfort. I am unfamiliar with situations of this nature. I do not understand."
Shinji couldn't help but watch her as Rei seemed to struggle with her words. Suddenly, he began to feel slightly better. Rei was right in front of him, the most withdrawn person he knew, other than his father, was trying to comfort him. He had never known Rei this way. "Rei," she looked up at him, "um…I'm sorry, I'm the one who should be sorry. I don't want you to be involved. Just so you know though, you can usually help people feel better by telling them the good aspects of themselves…I think."
Rei's face seemed to lighten slightly. "I agree, we have studied this in school."
Shinji sighed as Rei continued to look at him. He knew she was waiting for him to take the next step. Shinji was happy with her presence. "Rei, I'm sorry. It's okay, you don't have to do anything, I'm fine." Shinji tried to smile, but it didn't last for very long. He was only making himself feel more stupid: here was Rei, a person in his mind who couldn't be more distant from people offering him help, and here he was pushing that help away. He wanted to do anything to let Rei know how he was feeling, but for some reason he chose to hold it inside.
"Shinji, I am still learning about human behavior and emotions, but it is not very difficult to determine when a human is feeling despair or sadness."
Shinji was slightly taken aback. "Uh, well, okay, but you don't need to say 'humans', I mean, you could just say 'people' right? It just feel a bit…uneasy."
"If that's what you would like..." Rei was quiet for a few moments. Shinji took a few deep breaths and thought about what he was going to say. Rei spoke up again. "If there is a problem, I would like you to tell me immediately. We still have objectives that need to be fulfilled. Nothing is accomplished through your own death."
Shinji was once again taken aback. Rei was definitely talking more it seemed. "Objectives? You mean our assignments by the commander? Death!"
"No. We are still trying to retrieve Pilot Soryu. If you choose to stay here, then we won't be able to rescue her. It would be the same if you were dead."
Shinji remembered, the promises he had made, the discussions he had had. He began to recall a few of his old memories as well. He remembered the good times he had, but almost as fast, he lost faith: "Rei, I killed people…and…and I thought I enjoyed it. I-it's…it's not right. I don't want to fight anymore. Fighting the Angels was different! I want to find some other way!"
Rei was quiet now. Both Eva pilots avoided each other's stares. Shinji didn't want to do anything. More than all else, he felt weak and unable to make the right choices. To him, it seemed as if everything was his fault. Rei knew something of the sort was going through Shinji's brain, for she had known him for awhile in both universes now. What she didn't know was how she could be of use.
"Shinji…I-…I want to help." Shinji looked at Rei all of a sudden, his eyes opened in shock. "I want you to overcome…this pain. Tell me how I may help."
"R-Rei? W-what do you mean?"
"Did you not understand?"
"N-no…" Shinji looked at Rei wide-eyed. Saying Shinji was surprised is an understatement. He had never known Rei this way, but now that she was actually speaking to him so easily, he didn't know what to do. Suddenly, everything felt like too much for him to bear. "R-Rei…I don't, I don't need your help. I-…I-…I just don't know!" Shinji suddenly cried out. "Everything that's happened, it's too much! I could barely get by after I joined NERV, and now I'm faced with this!" Shinji felt tears tugging at his eyes, but he held them back. "I-…I just want to go home, I just want things to go back to how they were. A place where I can actually find care and comfort again, with everybody."
Shinji felt himself sob once, and felt himself redden slightly. He couldn't help it anymore though, the weight of all the occurrences were beginning to take their toll on him. "I-…I just want to go back…" Shinji's voice started to drift off. Rei, though shocked at his behavior, reasoned that this may be a bad sign.
Rei, surprising even herself, let herself act according to her instincts. She brought herself up kneeling at the same level as Shinji, face to face…
…and kissed him.
Shinji's eyes widened so far he thought they were going to fall out, but soon he felt as if all his excess energy was draining away, and relaxed. Rei held on to Shinji's lips with her own, and soon found that Shinji was not resisting. Rei was surprised at the feeling she received from a gesture of this nature. It only lasted for a few seconds, but to each pilot, it felt like hours.
"R-r-r-r-r..REI!" As soon as Shinji's mouth was freed, he had felt hollow inside for a moment. He was able to push that away in a second and was immediately confronted with what happened.
"Yes, Shinji?" Rei had sat back down, and was now looking at him intently.
"W-w-w-w-what did you do that for!" Shinji stammered and felt himself blush even more. He looked away from her, but quickly looked back before seeing her gaze on him again.
Rei smiled. "It seems to have worked."
"Huh?" Shinji was still blushing, now that Rei was also smiling at him.
"You have regained your energy correct?"
"B-b-b-but…why…what….how…" Shinji was stammering, for he couldn't get the image out of his head.
"From my reasoning, it seems as if a person in crisis would regain his competence after being faced with the caring and support of others. It seemed easiest to show you my compassion using this method. Though I am not very familiar with it, Agent Kaji and Captain Katsuragi have often come to terms using this method."
Shinji felt himself sweat. "Y-you know about Misato and Kaji? When were they…?"
Rei's atmosphere around her suddenly darkened. "Because of my silent nature, most people do not notice my presence."
Shinji looked at Rei and felt the need to say something. Shinji didn't notice that he was no longer burdened from his earlier experiences. "Um…Rei? Uh, it's alright, I'm feeling better now, honest. You don't need to worry, we can continue where we left off now, I'm alright." Rei smiled again and Shinji felt happy seeing that. He couldn't help but ask though: "Rei, you've been acting a lot different recently though…it's as if you're a whole lot more familiar with talking to people. Did something happen?"
Rei was silent for a few moments as she stood up. "I believe it may be…" She felt a smile tug at her lips. "I have had conversations with Quatre, whereas many of our subjects are human nature." Shinji felt jealousy build with each comment. "I have learned many new facts from him."
"Alright…" Shinji looked at Rei again and saw the she was preparing to leave. "Rei, wait, where are you going?"
"I'm going to notify the captain that you're ready to leave."
A/N: Okay, hey guys, I have a quick thing to add before you stop reading.
I would like to say thanks to my prereaders Steve VADER and Dennisud.
...I also have a special thanks for Laser Crusader! Simply, I'd like to thank him for his review, I laughed so hard at the death comment that I felt like writing another chapter right away. Just so you guys know, mood is everything when I'm writing. Thanks Crusader.
So, funny or humorous reviews are also accepted. Actually, they are recommended
Dec. 12th, 2005
I'm sorry, I won't be able to keep my promise. It turns out this year I have had a lot more obligations to take care of, and am much more busy than usual. because of this, I haven't been able to concentrate on my writing and am not satisfied with what I have written.
So, please forgive me, but I will not be adding any more chapters for another long while probably. If you don't forget about me, I may finish this story someday, but it's indefinitely on hold until further notice.
Until I get another streak of brilliant ideas,I can't do anything. Feel free to E-mail me or give me your comments concerning the story or ideas as to where it may lead, and you may spark an idea in me.
Otherwise, I am sorry to put you guys on hold for another few months. Please forgive me.