Chapter 22: Choosing The Truth?

**To those who chose not to read the smut, just informing you that they did have sex and this is right after.**

I relaxed into his embrace like it was an everyday thing as he rolled to the side, not letting me get too far away from him. We were both still breathing heavily as I adjusted myself and placed my head on his shoulder. That's when I noticed just how skinny he was, he was barely skin and bones. I realized that's why he was so close during sex, he didn't want me to see how he looked. Then I suddenly remembered why I had come here, why I was so angry with him.

I quickly snatched my sweater and skirt and leapt from the bed, throwing them on as fast as I could. "Phoebe?" Sirius asked, sitting up and watching me with a small frown on his face. I shook my head and searched the floor for my wand as I backed away from him. I grabbed it up and finally faced him, he had also pulled his clothes on. "Hey, what are you doing?" I held up my wand and free hand to warn him to stop. His face shown his hurt as he watched me. "After what just happened…really?"

His tone was defeated, he was deeply hurt by my actions, but I wasn't sure anymore. I didn't know what to believe or do. I didn't want to let my guard down again…no matter how much my heart wanted to go to him. "Just wait. Give me a minute. I need a clear head." I said, trying to take everything in and think straight. He did as I asked, standing there staring at me, but not speaking. Once I was calm enough to face him and I lowered my wand as we met eyes once again.

"What did you mean 'It wasn't me.'?" I finally spoke and he gave me a small grin before it faded and he answered. "It's simple. I didn't betray them to Voldemort." he gave a sigh before continuing, "I do feel I played a part in their deaths…that is my fault." I blinked, if he didn't betray them to my father, how was it his fault. "You were their secret keeper, you knew their location, only you." he shook his head and explained it to me, "I convinced Lily and James to change it from me to someone else. I felt that Voldemort would know how close I was to them and target me."

"I didn't want to chance that he would be able to get inside my head and find out. I was willing to die for them, I knew I wouldn't give them up willingly. But my fear got the better of me and I just wanted them to be the safest. So I wasn't the secret keeper." I blinked, his voice was shaking, he was still so upset at it, it still hurt him…even after all these years. I took a step forward, my wand now at my side instead of pointing at Sirius. "What? You mean you changed secret-keeper and told no one? Why?"

He kicked a pile of dust and shook his head, hair flying while he did so. "I was a fool! Careless! An idiot! It's my fault!" he began to pace, swinging his arms and knocked a broken jar off a table with a crash. I reacted and grabbed his forearms and made him stop moving. "Sirius, calm down! Look at me!" I hissed, making him face me as I looked at his face, rage and regret filling it. He sighed and I released him, his hand coming up to my face and cupping it. "Thank you…" he breathed out and I nodded, still unsure of everything.

He leaned in and kissed me softly, I returned it for a moment before pulling back and straightening up. "I believe that you wouldn't betray us. But who was the keeper if it wasn't you? They are the ones that betrayed our friends and they are to blame, not you. Tell me and I can help you prove that you are innocent." his eyes were boring into mine when they glazed over and he backed away from me, shaking his head. "No, it's not your problem. I will deal with it myself. It's my fault."

He continued say no and reasons why but I wasn't listening anymore, I was used to his stubborn self. I went and sat on the bed and crossed my legs, watching and waited for him to stop. When he finally settled, he faced me and shook his head again. "Phoebe, I mean it. Don't help. I won't allow you to get involved and hurt." I rolled my eyes and snorted. "You are a moron, you know that right?" he gave me a glimpse of his old smirk before he joined me on the bed and leaned heavily against me.

We sat in silence for a while before I realized that he had fallen asleep against me. His face was so peaceful looking and I found myself smiling and brushing his stray hair from his face. I carefully moved us both to lay back on the bed, trying not to wake him up. I knew I was in over my head at the moment, I was in the shrieking shack with a known fugitive and possible murderer…and I couldn't imagine feeling safer anywhere else.

I rubbed my eyes, not realizing that I had fallen asleep also and noticed that Sirius was still sleeping. He had wrapped around me comfortably and was holding me against him as he slept, his face so calm and relaxed. I smiled and ran my hand through his hair, rustling it a bit before placing my hand on the back of his neck. I carefully moved forward and touched his forehead with mine. He let out a small moan in his sleep and pulled me even closer, every piece of our bodies were touching again. "What are you doing to me?" I asked in a whisper.

I closed my eyes and relaxed, enjoying our private moment, knowing that no one would find us here. When the setting sun shone onto my closed lids, I realized that I had spent too long here, I needed to get back to the school. I opened my eyes and found Sirius's eyes staring into mine. "You are stunning." he comments and I smile, before sitting up. He follows suit, but catches my hand as I get up. "Don't go." his voice was small, as if he was dreaming and my leaving would wake him up. I give him a shake of my head and his hand falls from mine.

"Sirius, you can't expect me to stay here. I have to go back to the school. I have classes to teach. They will notice if I don't come back." I tried to reason with him, but he smiled at me like a schoolboy again. "Actually…it's Christmas break tomorrow. You could simply be going to visit some of your family." I blinked, was he truly being serious? I knew that almost everyone would believe that…except Lupin and Dumbledore…the two people that knew I was Voldemort's daughter.

I chewed my lip, I probably should tell Sirius about my lineage too…now that I believe he didn't do anything to cause our friends harm. But he had been trapped for 12 years…waiting…suffering because they believed him to be in league with my father. What would he think of me then? I shook my head, I couldn't tell him…not ever. "Even if I did, I would still need to return for some things. How am I supposed to go on a break without my belongings." I was joking but his eyes told me that he was being serious and believed that it would work without question.

"Yes! Go, get some things. Then be sure to come back." he began to walk me toward the crawl-space again and we went together until the opening under the willow. He turned me to him and gave me a deep lingering kiss before taking a few steps back. "I cannot wait until you are in my arms again. Don't keep me waiting." he didn't wait for me to reply before turning and following the trail back. I sighed and shook my head before peeking out, making sure it was clear before running and dodging limbs, then heading inside quickly.

I returned to my room without running into anyone, but there was a note waiting on me. It was from Dumbledore, who wanted to see me when I had the chance. I quickly changed into something else as my clothes were tattered and dirty and dusty. I ran a real brush through my hair before locking my room and heading for his office. When I went to knock on the door, he was opening it and greeting me as if he knew I was there the whole time. "Good Evening Phoebe, please come in."

I smiled and shifted my gaze around the office, unsure of what I was going to say if asked about Sirius. He motioned for me to sit in a comfy chair and he sat in the other one beside me. "How are your classes going? I have heard a many great things." I nodded and waved my hand in the air, conjuring the flames from the fire into my hand in the shape of a small fireball. It was hot, but I was careful not to let it get too close as I moved it around, watching it with a focused stare.

"Yes, it's been interesting so far. The students are very curious about elemental magic, but very few have actually shown a knack for it to what I have seen. I am expecting a large group of them to fail or give up. It is something that not everyone can learn…let alone master. I still haven't mastered it completely." we speak about my classes for a short period of time as I continued to play with the fire in my hand. "So any news of Sirius Black? Have you seen him or heard from him?"

I was so shocked by his sudden change of topic that I lost control of the flame and it hit my hand, engulfing my hand with the flame. I reacted quickly, conjuring some water from a glass even as the burn was painfully becoming my hand. Once I was put out, I winced at the pain and looked at the scorched flesh. Dumbledore called for a house elf, who quickly appeared and disappeared after seeing the state of my hand. After a few minutes, it was still throbbing and very burned when Nurse Pomfrey came into the office.