Naraku's Phoenix: Not a Marvin oriented chapter, but it sure leads to one.
Disclaimer: As much as it pains me from the inside, I don't own anything Hitchhiker or Harry Potter related…unless you count that Marvin shirt I drew.
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Chapter 4: Shattered Badgers
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Later that evening, Hufflepuff's Quidditch Team had confined themselves to a small table in the emptiest corner of the Common Room they could find. With some difficulty, the seven of them had managed to crowd around it with the Fat Friar's ancient, spindly, wooden dining chairs that had high backs and tattered velvet, moth-eaten seat covers. For the time being, they'd do. Earlier that day with even MORE difficulty, it had taken Justin and Daniel nearly fifteen minutes before they could calm Molly down enough so that she could walk on her own and help them recover the rest of their emotionally unstable teammates.
The first one they found was Hannah; sitting on the ground crying her heart out with her knees pulled up to her chest and her braids horribly undone. The friend that had run after her - Jasmine - was sitting on the ground as well – silent and blank-eyed – with her arms around her friend.
Next was Calvin, and boy did he lose it. He was found swooping in and out of the Whomping Willow, hitting it and laughing in a maniacal fashion as the tree tried to hit him back. He was shouting things like, "LIES, LIES! BURN IN HELL WITH ALL YOUR LIIIIEEEEEESSS!" and "YOU WON'T GET TO ME, YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" Whether he was referring to the tree or robot…who really had the time to find out? It took over an hour and some really skillful quidditch moves to capture Him. Luckily, Daniel had remembered that he'd had his wand up his sleeve and was able to perform, "Petrificus Totalus!" as soon as Justin was able to hold Calvin down in place for more than two seconds after tackling him airborne and crashing down into the ground with him.
Ernie was the hardest to locate. He'd been the first to leave, so he'd had the most time to go and run off somewhere far. And unlike the others who'd been found by voice, Ernie was nearly inaudible. But only just. The Quidditch captain was eventually found underneath Hagrid's hut behind four raw smelling stock barrels curled into a fetal position in the moist and mossy earth. He was muttering insanities and paid no heed to Justin's and Daniel's presence – Molly had taken Calvin over to where Hannah and Jasmine were – and it took nearly two hours for Ernie to be snapped back into reality and another twenty minutes for Justin and Daniel to guide him to the rest of their teammates after finally pulling him out from under the cabin. Upon abandoning his shelter, Ernie had remained completely silent from there on out.
This was how he remained at the present moment. Hannah had stopped crying by now and Jasmine – who had regained some sort of sparkle in her eye – was helping her brush out her hair. Calvin had had the counter curse performed on him and his lunatic outbursts were momentarily ceased so long as Molly kept an arm around him. Daniel had reduced himself to engraving doodles with components of his pocket knife into surface of the poor table's aged wood. Justin found himself mentally claustrophobic and couldn't seem to think straight, let alone move a muscle without coming in contact with one of his teammates' person. The lot of them had skipped dinner.
Other Hufflepuffs in the Common Room kept their distances from them. None of them had heard about the previous incident. All they saw was their Quidditch team huddled cramped and close together. The assumption that was made was that the team must be writing out more plays or secretly talking out tactics for the match on Saturday. And of course everyone knew better than to interrupt that. But even so, the team wanted to be alone, anyway, to think…or not. Any annoyance brought on by their fellow Housemates might stir up something dreadful, and that something was their main priority, Calvin. A few more moments had passed before anyone actually spoke…and ironically enough, it was Ernie.
"Look at us…this is pathetic," He paused trying to suck back any upsetness that tried to surface itself, "Whatever happened…I don't know."
"I know what happened," spoke up Hannah, "A mean, metal man made us all feel bad and drove us insane."
"And even though," whispered Calvin, softer still, "even though some of what he said were lies, it still drove me over the edge. And it makes me wonder, for the first time ever, why my parents won't take us back already. It's been thirteen years, now. Whatever forced them to give us up back then…it should have cleared up by now, shouldn't it have? They…write to us all the time…It doesn't make sense anymore…"
Justin overlooked his teammates as each of them spoke. His eyes eventually landed on Daniel's table etching. "Why?" it read.
'Why?' thought Justin. Why was this happening and why did it have to happen to them, let alone at all in the first place? Justin went back to observing his disheveled teammates before coming to a conclusion:
"We have to forfeit," explained Justin quietly.
"What!" whispered Ernie unbelievably as though someone had just hit him over the head with a slapstick, "Hasn't my reputation of being a failure suffered enough?" All voices were kept low for the sake of their peers.
"See, that's what I'm talking about!" said Justin, "You never used to think you were a failure; not until that robot showed up…Look at us! Ernie, you've lost all you self-confidence; Hannah, what's so bad about pigtails, eh? You're the most innocent girl that anyone could ever meet, so it works for you! And Calvin…I don't really know all that much about you, but usually when someone insults Ron's family, he sucker punches them like there's no tomorrow just like any other normal person would…not to say that you're not normal, but…look how that-that thing made you react! There's just no way we'll be in any stable condition to play…We have no other choice but to forfeit." A few minutes were needed to allow Justin's words to sink in. Daniel closed his pocket knife.
"We've got an hour before curfew," spoke up Jasmine for the very first time, "Let's go ahead and catch Professor Sprout before she goes to bed."
"No…," Ernie begins hyperventilating, "We can't…," His breathing gets heavier, "As Captain I will not stand for it!" Ernie's hyperventilation becomes uncontrollable.
"Whoa, Ernie! Somebody help him!" shout-whispered Justin. At his words, Hannah released the grip on her hairbrush – which dropped to the table's surface with a soft thunk - and grabbed Ernie by the forearm to keep him still while she simultaneously began rubbing his back with her other hand to calm his breathing. The Common Room's other occupants noticed some commotion from this, but the Quidditch members were so closely cramped together and hushed-like, that none could tell what was going on.
"Now, Ernie," said Justin as calmly as he could after their captain settled down, "I'll try to explain this again: We. Can't. Play. Besides, we don't really know where that robot came from or how it even got here. For all we know, it could show up at the match."
"Yeah," agreed Daniel, "That would only throw everybody off and all our hard training would go down for nothing. You don't want that for your team, do you?" Ernie contemplated these words while he was staring blankly into infinity. Though, that had nothing to do with the extra fifteen minutes to finally convince him. The team then changed out of their Quidditch robes and headed back outside toward the green houses (A/N: So they're the ones who're encouraging Global Warming!); and Professor Sprout's office ten minutes later.
Professor Sprout was moving about her office feeding the The-extremely-dangerous-slash-weird-looking-carnivorous-plant-whose-scientific-name-is-too-complicated-for-anyone-to-actually-pronounce so that it wouldn't get its midnight snack craving and gnaw on her head like last time. Finishing up, She put on a pot of tea and was about to change for bed when a knock at her front door decided otherwise. Some-what annoyed but far from showing it, Professor Sprout opened the front with a bright smile upon her face.
"Good evening," She said, "What can I do for you?" Her happy expression transformed into one of confusion as she saw all the members of her House team stand before her looking as glum as ever. "Er, hello, what's going on, dearies? If it's about the match I'm sure" Professor Sprout was then interrupted by Justin who was voted in earlier as his team's news breaker.
"Actually, Professor, it is…you see…we want to forfeit." Professor Sprout's eyes went wide.
"What! Surely you don't mean; b-but all the practice you've all put in, the determination! All that competitive edge and trash talk we threw at them! Gryffindor never knowing what hit 'em as we pried that Quidditch Cup from their BUTT-KICKED FINGERS!" Professor Sprout took a moment to calm down and catch her breath. The team members gaped in shock rather than cower in fear as their normally sweet and happy-go-lucky teacher screeched her butt-kicking motives. Daniel, the only other emotionally stable persona, took over Justin's position.
"Erm…Professor?"
"giggled Oh, sorry about that, dearies, I just don't know why you all would want to give up. That's certainly frowned upon us toiled Hufflepuffs, you know." Professor Sprout had now completely returned to her public state. "Again, why would you want to forfeit? Hufflepuff team hasn't done so for 537 years!" (A/N: "Alex was here")
"Erm…Professor, due to some…recent…," Daniel paused, looking for the right word, "events, we have decided that – much to everyone's displeasure – our team is in no stable condition to play."
"No condition? Nonsense! All of you"
"Again Professor," interrupted Daniel, "No stable condition." He made sure that he'd dragged that statement out.
"But what could possible deter you away so suddenly?" Professor Sprout had stepped away from her door frame and stood in front of her team from the outside. Her hands were on her hips and her features thoroughly gave way to her frustration and confusion. Unbeknownst to the Professor, though, as she was too transfixed on her students, a rather peculiar event took place behind her back where the Whomping Willow was in view. This, of course, caused the Hufflepuff team to take good notice of:
Marvin shlumped up to the Whomping Willow and attempted to collapse at its roots when one of the tree's branches had swung down, picked Marvin up, and smacked him far out into the distance like one does when playing baseball by themselves.
"Ah…My diodes," cursed Marvin barely audible, and a loud 'SPLASH!' followed thereafter. The robot incident had shown up fresh in everybody's mind:
Molly burst out crying.
Hannah slowly walked backward and anxiously began running her fingers through her hair even though her pigtails were in absence.
Ernie fell back and began rolling himself back and forth across the ground with his eyes tightly closed and hands over his ears screaming, "I'm not a failure, I'm not, I'M NOT!"
Calvin shudders Ooh, Calvin...
"LIES! ALL LIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!" He shouted to no one in particular. Justin and Daniel immediately got hold of him.
Professor Sprout began to panic just as the tea inside her house/office began to whistle. She and Jasmine pulled out their wands and subdued the inflicted with the full body bind spell. Then, with the help of Daniel and Justin, they hauled the bodies up to the Hospital Wing after sending an owl to Madame Promfrey to let her know what exactly was on her way; all the while Professor Sprout was thinking, 'Was it something I said!'
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Naraku's Phoenix: The next chapter's my favorite, Marvin gets to swim! And it's a pretty long one to boot. Hooray for me! I'm updating on March 23; don't forget it!