Narakus Phoenix: Heehee! This is my personal favorite chapter! For this chapter I'm going to use the interpretation of a grindylow that I got from the book! I never expected they'd be half-octopus/squid in the movie WHICH by the way would have fared better at twelve hours instead of two and a half. Now, the bulk of this chapter was written when my history class was supposed to be watching "Glory." We wanted "Gone With the Wind" where we'd pay more attention and not do our math homework or write stories like these when it was playing, but our teacher argued that it was just too long. What can we say? Our entire curriculum, like our textbooks, was written by the winners. But our teacher caved anyway when "Glory" finished playing and we still had half an hour left in class, so she let us watch 8 scenes she thought were important, and afterwards Patrick invited the class to an all nighter at his house so we could finish it. And before I forget…
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I'M AN ARIES, IN THE FIRST HOUSE, SEVENTEEN NOW! OH YEA, GO ME! ahem
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own Hitchhikers, and for the first time ever, I get to say that I don't own Nickelodeon.
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Chapter 5: Swimming With the Merpeople
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'Fragile beings, they are,' thought Marvin as he left the Quidditch Pitch, 'Rude, too.' From thereon out, He took to wandering absentmindedly through the empty castle grounds to the Forbidden Forest and then back out. By the time He'd re-emerged from the forest, it was near dusk. The sun wasn't visible in the sky, but you could still sense its light emitting from the heavens as the stars and purple night sky approached from the eastern horizon. Coming back to his artificial senses, Marvin spotted a tree not too far off and decided that it was as good a place as any to collapse and not move for all eternity…well, as long as he felt like anyway. But the second Marvin had barely touched one of the roots that were protruding above the ground with his left foot, the tree had swung down one of its branches, picking Marvin up, and chucked him across the grounds letting inertia took over.
"Ah…My diodes," He cursed. Then, not a split second later, SPLASH! And into the lake he goes.
ACTIVATING: SILICATED AQUATIC SKIN
HYDROSONIC BI-PEDAL SOLES: POWERED
SUBMERGED OCULAR PHOTON BEAMS: 3, 2, 1…ON
A world full of splendor and algae gave way to Marvin as his body adjusted itself to fit in with his new environment. The soles of His feet were keeping him afloat and steady while the light emerging from his eyes shone like headlights through the lake's murky depths.
'It's always me, isn't it?' thought Marvin as he surveyed his surroundings.
SWOOSH; something just swam past him! Oh, wait, never mind. It was only a clump of seaweed. As a matter of fact, as Marvin analyzed the sub-aquatic plant species and obtained the water's current configuration, he bobbed to the right for some distance and went further downward. Just as He figured, mass clumps of seaweed were floating around in groups. One clump always near another, but never close enough that they touched. Marvin triggered his infrared again to detect to possible life-form or two and directed it at the closest clump of seaweed he saw.
The reading came through revealing a small and horrid corpse-like outline with vampric/gargoyle-like clawed fingers flexing in and out of its curdled, crumpled body. A rather disgusting sight, one might say. It fidgeted. So the creature knew Marvin was there; positioning itself to attack in case his prey had decided to come any closer.
'Highly improbable; I'd hate to see what that thing really looks like,' thought Marvin. Though he did little to take notice of yet another seaweed clump, which had floated up from the lake's seemingly infinite bottom and coming to a halt right behind his back; a fresh home had been made to accommodate the newest of its devilish species. Marvin shifted his body weight around 180 degrees and bent his right leg into a 90 degree angle allowing the powered hydrosonic bi-pedal sole to move him forward in that direction. As if you don't know what happens next.
"What the- oh, Good Lord! You're hideous!" shouted Marvin as was engulfed by the new seaweed clump, "No, don't turn around! Ahhhggh!" He gagged, "Ugh, I just want to kill myself!"
The creature pulled Marvin forward and stretched out the robot's left arm and proceeded to curl its hideous, yellowing fangs around the sturdy metal alloy. Crack…
The grindylow had then furiously shoved Marvin outside of its premises, whimpering and trying to salvage the broken teeth before the newer, duller ones could move in and replace the old, sharpened beauties which, in return of course, weren't so sharp or beautiful anymore. Marvin, on the other hand, was quite relieved to have escaped the impossibly ugly creature; panting in such a way that it was of near human quality.
Steadying himself as much as he could, Marvin retreated from the grindylows' hub and sailed himself northwest through undisturbed waters for some ten minutes or so. Extra plant-life emerged from here and there, but Marvin wouldn't go as much as three feet near it without running his infrared. As the scan cleared, He journeyed onward to anywhere but somewhere meaningful; his database to keep him in his miserable company.
ACCESSING SHORT-CUT TO DOCUMENT DATABASE
OPENING DOCUMENT TITLED: Teleportation Screw-Up Q-27 (Hogwarts)
5. Hogwarts' plant-life has been identified as either extremely cautious or null. I find it wise to check for life-forms residing in their aquatic bowels out of fear that they shall be as exceedingly ugly as my previous encounterer. Though, out of the other marine life I've so crossed thus far, the crumpled forms in the seaweed seem to be the only ones. I passed by a magnificent giant squid not too long ago as well as some brightly – and not so brightly – coloured fish species as well as some pleasant electrical eel – surprisingly even by my standards – which gave me a good recharge when I move to smack them out of my way. Though as time drags on, I am becoming increasingly bored with this activity and wonder how many years I shall spend wandering amongst my new environment with no real meaning, only mass. Well, this is nothing new. Only expected.
SAVE
CLOSE
"Abandoned, desolate mass. Unwillingly brought into existence, like everything else I presume. I am depressed and alone and…that suits my being's just." spoke Marvin.
"Heeheehee," a voice giggled, "Just like me, isn't it, but I do have to say that I enjoy company every now and then. Ooh, pretty eyes; I like you!"
"Halt, who goes there?" questioned Marvin. He immediately looked toward the surface, "Show yourself," He commanded.
"Over here on your left, you silly whatever-you-are." The voice giggled again as Marvin turned his head to look into the indicated direction. He saw nothing.
RUNNING INFRARED SCAN:
LIFE-FORMS DETECTED: inferior aquatic bacterium
SEARCHING FOR OTHER LIFE-FORMS
OTHER LIFE-FORMS; SEARCH 'NULL'
"Liar," said Marvin sullenly and soft, "But congratulations. Your attempt to make me more depressed has worked on some level if not the one you were hoping to obtain." In response, the voice only kept giggling.
"Heehee; Turn down your eyes, silly." Marvin obliged to this new command out of habit.
ACCESSING HARD-DRIVE
SELECTING DRIVE: bodily functions
OPENING OCULAR OPERATIONS PROGRAM
SELECTING CATEGORY: Submerged Ocular Photon Beams
DECREASING POWER: 100...90...75...70...60...55...45...
DECREASE COMPLETE
CLOSE PROGRAM
EXIT HARD-DRIVE
As Marvin's eye light faded down, he found that he was indeed accompanied by another presence of sorts: A rather glum-looking girl, she was, clad in a uniform with her hair pulled back into pigtails and thick glasses so huge that it nearly magnified her eyes from an onlooker's point of view. And though fresh tear marks stained the poor girls face, she was smiling; standing upright with her feet turned in and her arms bent bringing her hands up to her mouth which was absentmindedly chewing and biting at the nail of her left thumb.
"Much better, now, don't you think?" said the girl as Marvin's eyes went into low-beam. "My name's Myrtle. What's yours?" Myrtle spoke in a meek little high-pitched voice.
"Er…Marvin," replied the android.
RE-RUNNING INFRARED SCAN
LIFE-FORMS DETECTED: inferior aquatic bacterium
SEARCHING FOR OTHER LIFE-FORMS
OTHER LIFE-FORMS; SEARCH 'NULL'
"Heehee," Myrtle kept giggling, "That tickles." Marvin ignored her.
"My sensors indicate that your life is 'null,' yet here you are standing before me. How is this possible?" indicated Marvin. Myrtle dropped her grin and burst into tears.
"Tactless; TACTLESS!" she roared, "Remind me of my loss AGAIN, why don't you! Make me run off and cry so you can join all the others and make fun of me behind my back! After all, no one ever says anything nice about poor, miserable, moping, moaning Myrtle; that they don't," she sniffed, "Quite horrible," she screeched, "Don't you think?" Myrtle finally proclaimed as if she was trying to show off in some way.
"Yes, quite," replied Marvin, 'So she's a spirit,' he thought finally figuring it out. Myrtle suddenly became overjoyed and floated over next to Marvin and started speaking again, though; it was almost flirty-like this time.
"I've never seen anything like you swimming in the lake before. What's your story, Marvin?" asked the gleeful ghost. Marvin looked at Myrtle and noticed that she was "resting" her head on his mechanical shoulder.
"…Zarking tree chucked me in not too long ago; nearly threw my diodes out of whack, again."
"Oh, you poor thing," cooed Myrtle, "But it's a new record for the Whomping Willow, though. I think that this is the farthest that it's ever hit something. As for me, someone flushed my toilet, again."
"Your 'what'?" asked Marvin.
"I died in that very spot, you know," continued Myrtle, ignoring Marvin's remark, "Rather dreadful, it was, and not on my best day either…like I've ever had any good days at school to begin with. All the girls were really mean to me, especially Olive Hornby!" Myrtle spat, "If she was never mean to me, then I might still be alive!
"Pity," stated Marvin flatly.
"Tut tut," said Myrtle, "'Tis it 'tis." Her ghostly figure snuggled in deeper on Marvin, "Ever time I think about it, it makes me sad. Makes me cry and I feel hurt all over my inside."
"I'm dead on the inside, too, figuratively speaking, and it'll never go away," said Marvin.
"Ooh," Myrtle softly cried in her high-pitched voice; seemingly putting her arms around Marvin in what appeared to be like a comforting hug. Then she released her hold and quickly moved her position back in front of the android, smiling and giggling, again. Oh, how he hated that giggling.
"You're my new friend!" she said before swooping back in on Marvin and hugging his arm. Marvin only looked at her before drooping his head downward on his own feet and sighing.
"If I must," He said. Myrtle only giggled some more when not too far off from the pair's current location, the faint sound of an angelic chorus sweetly singing echoed through the waters.
Bring me still waters
To a place that I know
We praise Lord Poseidon
Guardian of our souls
Marvin cocked his head toward the music. Myrtle noticed this and said, "Would you like to see them?" She re-released her grasp on Marvin once more and floated off toward the music, only to look back and see that he remained unmoved from his spot. "Come now, don't be shy," encouraged Myrtle, "We're not going to get too close, anyhow. Merpeople are particularly rude, you see; always chase poor Myrtle off, that they do." She nodded her head and kept urging Marvin to follow until, finally, he did. That damn giggling! It was the only way to end it…or so he thought. But for the time being, it worked.
The two of them then swam further down and deeper into the lake – and through more seaweed to Marvin's disgust – when, at last, an underwater village came into a clearer view, and the singing had grown immensely in volume the closer that they swam. Myrtle and Marvin ended their journey by stopping and lying down on their stomachs at the edge of a rocky cliff that overlooked the Merpeople's town. Marvin observed their activities.
RE-ACCESSING SHORT-CUT TO DOCUMENT DATABASE
OPENING DOCUMENT: Teleportation Screw-Up Q-27(Hogwarts)
6. Merpeople – as this Myrtle ghost calls them – aren't a species entirely unlike the centaurs, being half-human as well. Though, instead of the other half being a horse, the other half of the creature is fish. Some of them continue to sing as others go about their possible daily routines. They are also crucially frightening, but in being so, are exceptionally ugly as well. Not as ugly as those other things, but still pretty ugly. Oh, what's this? It seems that one of those ugly monstrosities is tied up next to a merperson's home. I must do something about this; as if the suicide rate isn't high enough already.
SAVE DOCUMENT
CLOSE
"Hey!" Myrtle whispered, "I thought I said not to get too close!" Marvin ignored her and kept all his focus on his newest goal: revenge on the hideous grindylow.
Dropping down the plant-ridden rock, Marvin drifted into the Merpeople's village. Openly drifting with his targets locked onto the evil grindylow. He went unnoticed by the villagers at first, due to his color scheme which was unintentionally camouflaged to match the color of the sun-reflected water. But at Marvin neared the house where the grindylow was currently tied up at – nearing two feet from it, about – four merpeople swam out and surrounded him, pushing the robot back a bit as the rush of water forced from the powerful fish tails came forward. The mermaid in front of Marvin had a trident and raised it to the android's throat.
"AwAy WitH YoU!" it screeched.
"Clearly you're not part of the choir," responded Marvin. The mermaid pushed the trident further into his throat.
"HOw'D yOU kNoW tHaT?" it screeched again.
"You know…I just don't know" said Marvin sarcastically. The tied up grindylow started moving about. It was jumping up and down trying to catch a floating bit of seaweed that was swirling around. Marvin saw this and was sure that if her were a life-form, he would have wanted to puke. He tried to lunge forward wanting to get rid of it, but to no avail. The mermaid in front kept the trident at his throat, and the others grabbed hold of his body, keeping him from escaping; one had its arms wrapped tightly around Marvin's legs and waist, the other two had their hands wrapped around his wrists and pulled his arms behind his back. The one that held Marvin's left arm continued doing so with only her right hand while her left arm curled around to his front and put palm pressure onto the flat area where his diaphragm would be located if he were human. More merpeople in the village were beginning to crowd around and watch the scene. Some had their own tridents raised as well just in case a time called for it.
"WhAT BusInESs dO yoU HaVe?" interrogated the screechy mermaid. Marvin winced at the intensity of the horrible voice, but kept his focus on the grindylow ahead while fidgeting and trying to speak at the same time.
"Must…destroy…the horribly hideous…ugly demon!" he got out. The crowd of merpeople gasped.
"'Tis a savior come to fight Theighadorei (Thay-a-door-ey) and free us from his terrible shame!" one of the civilians proclaimed, raising her trident.
"NOOOOOO!" cried Marvin in an almost child-like whimpering. No one else took notice, however, as their own cheers drowned out his cry.
RE-ACCESSING CURRENT SHORT-CUT TO DOCUMENT DATABASE
OPENING DOCUMENT TITLED: Teleportation Screw-Up Q-27(Hogwarts)
7…On second thought, merpeople are exactly like centaurs. Lazy gits can't even band together and solve their own problems; have to wait for someone else to show up and do it for them. I pity these creatures.
SAVE DOCUMENT
CLOSE
As Marvin finished his documentation, he found that the hostile merfolk had released him and were now in a crooked circle surrounding him and were temporarily bowing down before him. The screechy mermaid rose and the others soon followed suit.
"CoMe, FeLLoW CiTiZenS, LeT uS TAkE hIm To ThE bAtTle aReNa TO fIgHt oUR sOrRoWs!" At these words, the crowd increased its cheering and kept going until they felt it was time to die down. As it did, one of the mermen spoke up.
"Wait, we have a battle arena?"
The screechy mermaid lowered her head and fidgeted with her trident. "Er, nO…tO ThEiGhaDoReI's CaVerN, ThEn!" she finished valiantly; the people cheered some more and hoisted Marvin up onto their shoulders and proceeded to carry him out of the village.
"Hey, put me down, you fish things. Hey, hey, I'm not in the mood," said Marvin. But no one else paid mind. Back off in the distance Myrtle remained in her spot, perched upon the cliff.
"Poor Marvin," she said sadly. Then her eyes suddenly lit up and gleamed with delight, "Let's just see them throw me out now." Myrtle giggled and floated down to the recently deserted area all giddy and hyper-like while she zoomed in and out of the merpeoples' homes. "Ha ha, I'm in your room!" she bragged like an annoying little sister.
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Marvin was carried a way's away to an even darker, cluttered region of the bottom of the lake where the marine-life was suddenly becoming more ominous and sparse. Eventually they came to an enormous, jagged cavern that was covered in brittle plant-life growing from the outer cracks where the little fish came to feed. The merpeople who were carrying Marvin emerged from the crowd and approached the mouth of the cave, stopping almost right in front of it and putting their hands upon His shoulders as they set him down; their eyes tearing with pride and joy like a parent whose child just accomplished something great. They stood straight up, shoulders back, and smiled.
The interior of the cave was foggy at the opening and growing pitch black further down inside. The screechy mermaid furiously swam in front of Marvin's group with one beat of her tail stopping abruptly. She then did a 360 degree, counter-clockwise spin that lifted her upward 150 feet or so, just enough to overlook the entire cavern.
"ThEiGhADoREi! EmERgE fRoM YoUr SkUdGe aNd SHoW yOuRs-ELf!"
Silence, until…
"ARRRGGGHHH!" The ground shook and quaked as the voice vibrated so much that it seemed to break the balance of nature. "WHO GOES THERE?"
"'TiS ThE RaCE tHaT yOu'VE So ShAmeD!" the mermaid bellowed back.
"HAST THOU CIVILIZATION COME FORWARD TO FORGIVE ME?" asked Theighadorei curiously.
"QuItE tHe OpPoSItE, YoU fOoL! FoR tOdAy, We, ThE MeRPeOpLe oF tHe BlaCk LaKe, SeNd In AfTEr YoU A TrAiNeD cHAmpIon wHom SeEkS tO sTrIkE aT yoUr SmItEd BlOod, aS wE, yOur PeOplE, hAvE sO tRiED iN tHe PaSt!"
"Theighodorei is a merperson?" asked Marvin who in reality was thoroughly uninterested.
"Was, strange creature," replied the merman who had Marvin's left shoulder, "Was." The merman looked sullen, "He has done something that we can never forgive him for; not in this life or the next…and if there's another one after that we still wouldn't forgive him!" The merman looked angry now but continued talking with as much sternness as he could possibly muster and his lip quivered, "So, so we banished him to spend the rest of eternity, here, in this cavern."
"NoW pRePaRE yOuRseLf, yoU fIeND, as we SeNd In…" The mermaid paused abruptly and quickly swooshed downward next to Marvin, "Psst, Hey kid, whAt's yOuR naMe?" she whispered.
"Bob, my name is Bob," sighed Marvin. Without replying, or even giving so much as a thank you, the mermaid swirled back upward over the cavern and bellowed, "SeND iN bOB!" The crowd immediately cheered in response and as they noticed Marvin wasn't moving, picked him up and threw him far, far down inside into the cavern's shadowy depths.
45 minutes later…
CRASH! And there goes Marvin…right through the upper cavern wall and flying rapidly towards the surface.
After breaking through the Lake's surface, Marvin was able to decipher that it was still nighttime across Hogwarts. His system began to falter and he blacked out into automatic reboot. It is here that he begins to bob, or rather more so, just his head, atop the waters in only god knows what direction. His internal functions are still active, however, and it is also now that he continues his documentations.
RE-ACCESSING SHORT-CUT TO DOCUMENT DATABASE
OPENING DOCUMENT TITLED: Teleportation Screw-Up Q-27(Hogwarts)
8. Theighadorei: a particularly ghastly being, he is, outcasted and then banished by the very species that he once called "family." He is actually quite scrawny in comparison to the others and his features portray that of a very ticked off mad genius/nerd. He definitely has the goatee for it. Theighadorei wasn't very pleased with my arrival, as one should have expected, seeing as how he threw me through the cavern's roof, with no remorse I might add, and he gave me quite the headache in doing so. I did, however, get to stay long enough to find out what exactly it was that his people had banished him for: As it turns out, Theighadorei was the one who gave Nickelodeon's final authorization to cancel the show, Invader Zim.
SAVE DOCUMENT
CLOSE
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Naraku's Phoenix: Let's see, well next chapter I had a bit of a scratchy start but hopefully I cleared it up all the way. Not much I can really reveal about the next chapter, except that it's called: His Presence is Known. Heads up, it gets a little intellectual after Marvin escapes the Lake.