Naraku's Phoenix: Welcome, one and all. I do hope you've all been doing well. It took me a while to get a good push off on this chapter seeing as I thought it best to gather my ideas and put them in order before I wrote them in. That and my friends at church have been asking me how my movie's coming along which, again, all my ideas are brain scattered. So not only do I need to put them in order, I have to start putting them on paper. I've set myself a deadline for all that, and it'll be due by the end of next school year and no later than that. Hopefully we can get a good bit of filming done before I head off to college. Ah, why am I telling you? You have no idea what I'm talking about do you! Getting back on track here, this was supposed to be another non-Marvin oriented chapter but then it would've been too short. So I looked in the mirror and talked to my reflection until I got a really cool idea which you'll read later on. You should try doing that some time. You'd be amazed how much it works, especially if you need to find a good topic for your English or writing assignments. All of my story, so far I'm afraid, has been written in and between classes since I kind of get lazy when there's time off and I'm at home; the main reason why my movie's behind. Also, I need something to engulf myS-elf in because I'm one of the "quiet ones" everyone needs to watch out for or so they say. That's only how I am in school…curse you Cameron Lightfoot! You unknowingly destroyed me in the third grade! Ahem…I forgive you. Well, I think I've rambled on long enough. Avas, my minions! To the fic!
Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Short, sweet, and to the point!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Chapter 6: His Presence is Known
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Argh, I can't take it any more! I'm a nurse, for heaven's sake, not a psychiatrist!" shouted Madame Promfrey as she left the Hospital Wing. She slammed the door shut on her way out and was carrying a bundle of crumpled white sheets down the hallway as quickly as she could.
"Wait!" Daniel called after her, "Don't leave us alone with them, again!" This only made Madame Promfrey quicken her pace. "NO, WE'RE SORRY! PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, COME BACK!"
As Madame Promfrey disappeared down the corridor, Daniel only lowered his head in defeat and then slowly, disappointedly, went back inside the Hospital Wing and took his sweet time closing the door. 'Twas Friday morning now, and what a night it had been! Justin, Molly, and Jasmine had each been coaxed into doing a non-profit therapy session – as had Madame Promfrey earlier – while Daniel had been reduced to everybody's cabin boy.
No word had come from Professor Sprout yet, who hurriedly went off to discuss this urgent matter with Headmistress McGonagall after dropping her team off with Madame Promfrey. Hopefully, someone's come to a solution by now; hopefully. Then again, it might fare better if someone remembered to bring them some food.
"Justin, where ya goin', buddy?" whined Ernie as he grabbed onto his friend's sleeve, "I still need to talk about my feelings." He started to cry again, "You're so insensitive!"
"Insensitive jerk!" screeched Hannah from her cot.
Meanwhile, in the Great Hall…
Professors McGonagall and Sprout sat turned to each other at the staff table and were whispering in mad sentences. They had yet to alert any of the other staff members about the matter – aside from Madame Promfrey – and had been trying to solve the situation two-fold all night.
"Look, we'll just announce the cancellation of tomorrow's match, hear the students whine, and leave them with the only explanation that the Hufflepuff team overexerted themS-elves into madness from Captain MacMillans's all-too-confusing plays," finalized McGonagall, "Sorry, but it's true, and it's the only logical explanation I can come up with for what happened last night."
"Yes, I've been meaning to talk to Ernie about his crazy tactics; might have to replace him after all," spoke Professor Sprout contemplating the thought, "Alright then," she said to McGonagall, "Let's break the news."
Professor McGonagall calmed her frizzled stature and pulled back some loose pieces of hair before straightening her glasses. She smoothed down her robes as she stood from her seat and raised her wand which emitted a loud and smoky 'BANG!' catching the students' sudden attention – many of which had either jumped up or yelped in surprise or both.
"Attention everyone, I have a very important announcement to make," began McGonagall, "Due to some recent events concerning the Hufflepuff team, a forfeit has occurred canceling tomorrow's match."
"What!"
"You're kidding!"
"No way!"
"They were in the Common Room with us! WHY THE HECK DIDN'T WE STOP THEM?"
McGonagall issued another loud 'BANG!' from her wand and silenced the students once more. "Captain MacMillan came up with another play at the last minute," she simply said.
"Ohhh," chorused the students in understanding. That made sense. McGonagall breathed a sigh of relief as she sat back down but Professor Sprout, on the other hand, still held her stale breath in.
"Don't worry," McGonagall reminded her, "Madame Promfrey will have them cured in no time. And when they are, we'll make Ernie write, "I'll write a play my team can understand," over and over again until he gets it." Professor Sprout only looked at her, and smiled weakly.
Then meanwhile at the Gryffindor table…
Colin Creevey stood up from his seat and leaned across the table to reach the plate of biscuits rather than just asking someone to pass it. People sitting on the other side took notice of his gesture and looked at him instinctively. Then, just as he laid his hand upon the plate, Colin shifted his eyes up to return the stares and said, "That's not what I saw." He and his biscuit then retreated to sit back down in his seat where he asked someone else to pass the jelly. Those around him, however, grew intrigued by his remark.
"What do you mean, 'saw'," asked a girl in a headband.
"And heard; definitely heard," Colin added seemingly ignoring the girl's remark. He took a bite of his newly jellied biscuit before beginning his tale. "Funny thing about me," he began, "I like to walk past the Hospital Wing everyday just to see if I can get any good pictures for the school newspaper."
"We have a school newspaper?" interrupted a squeaky little blonde kid.
"Well, not yet," answered Colin, "I'm still talking to McGonagall about it, but anyway, no more interruptions. You're missing the point, here."
"What point?" inquired a girl with naturally curly red hair. (A/N: heehee; Peanuts!)
"Just be quiet and I'll get to it!" ordered Colin who was beginning to get rather annoyed, "Now then, as I was saying…Upon my passing of the Hospital Wing this morning, I saw the entire Hufflepuff Quidditch team incapacitated – well, only three of them were in cots, but the others looked just as distressed." Colin's listeners grew completely silent and came closer together waiting to hear more. Colin leaned in to whisper, "They were cursing and screaming…about a metal man."
"A metal man?" his audience inquired.
"Aye, a metal man; you know, a robot," explained Colin, "The three who were in the cots were completely mental! I mean, the girl kept grabbing things to try and cut her hair off with, Captain MacMillan was crying and telling everyone who passed him by that he wasn't a failure, and then he wanted people to keep holding him, and that crazy Calvin kid," he paused to lean back and take a drink from his goblet, "I swear, he kept rolling around all violent-like; you'd think he was that little girl from the Exorcist, or something."
"What about the other four?" asked the headband girl.
"Well, they weren't doing much better. The three crazies had them and Madame Promfrey running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to calm them down. By now, I'm guessing they're all due for a trip down to St. Mungo's," answered Colin taking another bite out of his biscuit.
"But, how did their 'robot' man cause all of this?" asked the red-head.
"I'm not sure," said Colin, "but that's what I came witness to."
"Reeeeally now," stretched out the squeaky blonde kid suspiciously, "So, did you get any pictures with that camera of yours?"
"I thought I did," Colin fumbled with his camera while he spoke, "but I felt so rushed to get a good picture…I left the lens cap on."
"Well then, in that case, your story seems a bit far fetched, if you don't mind me saying," said the headband girl. Colin gave a weak smile for everyone and lowered his head to concentrate more – but not really – on his breakfast plate where he put forth a single, hollow laugh.
"Well," he said, "I know what I saw, and whether you choose to believe me or not is out of my hands. So, I'll just leave it at that, I guess." He picked up his spoon and lazily played with his oatmeal. Those that had been listening to his story just smiled politely and went about their own businesses.
"Nice try, though," said the red-head apologetically, and for a few more seconds, the world seemed to make sense again. But only…a few more seconds.
Hagrid suddenly burst through the Great Hall's doors creating quite the commotion. He looked tired and weary as though he had traveled a great distance, but for all anyone knew, perhaps he did. There were bits of forest debris caught in his hair and beard with an abundance of hitchhiker seeds nestled around his coat. His left pant leg was terribly torn from mid-thigh down and there were quite a few arrows that had been shot into his back, or perhaps just his thick coat. If it truly was his back, Hagrid would have had them removed by now…right? And also, for some un-explicable reason, the features that were bare beneath the rough and matted hair were donned with glitter and green eye-makeup with blush that creepily matched his frilly pink umbrella which, by the way, had a string of ivy spiraling around it. As exhausted as he was, Hagrid jogged up to the staff table as fast as his body would allow. There, he turned to face all the students and lifted his arms up, umbrella and all, panting and trying to catch his breath as he spoke.
"Now-Now d-don't be h-alarmed wheeze," He stopped to turn around and drain a nearby pitcher of pumpkin juice in two gulps, "But weehv'e got a ser-serious situation on our hands!" McGonagall immediately stood up and pulled Hagrid back by the collar.
"Are the Death Eaters attacking Hogwarts?" she hastily whispered.
"Oh, I wish!" yelled Hagrid in reply. He turned his attention back to the students, "This is much worse; it's about the centaurs!"
"Huh?" chorused the Great Hall.
"The centaur; the centaurs, they-they know The Answer!" exclaimed Hagrid leaning back onto the staff table behind him for support, "They know The Answer, of all that is good and pure, THEY KNOW IT!"
"The answer to what?" asked McGonagall confusedly from behind. Hagrid looked bewildered.
"The Answer; you know, the answer to Life, the Universe, EVERYTHING!"
"Everything?"
"EVERYTHING!" repeated Hagrid, "They know it, and they understand it; WE'VE GOTTA STOP 'EM!" he bellowed. Everyone in the Great Hall only stared at him, unsure of what to do. "Oh, y'all are no help!" he winced. Hagrid then whipped back around behind him to grab another pitcher of pumpkin juice and some dry toast. He bit the toast and drained the pitcher before wiping his mouth on his sleeve and throwing the plastic container off to the side where it collided with the stone wall. He bent his arms up at the elbow and squished his face together and squatted down a bit to give one final grunted/frustrated yell that gave him the uncomfortable look of constipation. From there Hagrid jumped up once and took a deep breath before jogging back down the Hall – still exhausted and panting – and back out the giant oak doors. About half-way down, though, he mumbled this, "Cursed robot, telling the centaurs, just wait 'til I get my hands on yer cogs." And that's the last thing everyone heard from Hagrid before he disappeared down the corridor wheezing.
"So," said someone else who was previously listening to Colin before Hagrid's intrusion, "what else did you happen to hear about that 'robot'?"
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FULL SYSTEM SCAN CHECKED
COMPLETE DURATION: 12hrs. 3min. 4s 0.007ss
AUTOMATIC REBOOT: COMPLETE
RESTORING ACTIVE EXTERNAL FUNCTIONS
He awoke with the realization that he was no longer floating in the water. Daylight was noticeable amongst the looming foliage, and the faint sound of wind was whirling around. Marvin turned from his side and lifted himself up to stand and better survey his surroundings. The current of the Lake seemed to have successfully managed in pushing him upon land – save for his ankles – and as far as the landscape portrayed, the area was peaceful and void of any life-forms other than the plants. Marvin had been replaying the events he had encountered thus far in his involuntary hibernation, and in doing so, He had decided that now was as good a time as any – or not – to record his latest discovery.
ACCESSING SHORT-CUT TO DOCUMENT DATABASE
OPENING DOCUMEN TITLED: Teleportation Screw-Up Q-27(Hogwarts)
9. The time I've spent at the beginning of each of my… "adventures" – has led me on to notice one thing in particular: everything I've come in contact with so far shares a near identical brain wave pattern with a one: Arthur Dent.
"For crying out loud man, how do you balance yourS-elf!"
SAVE DOCUMENT
CLOSE
Marvin slightly turned his head toward the rude obscursion, but only so. Nestled in the space between his head and shoulder was the head of a seemingly nosy, round-faced boy. "Excuse me?" said Marvin.
"Your head; it's huge!" exclaimed the boy. Marvin began to walk away from this nuisance until it called back after him, "Good gravy, man, you're walking! That's not possible!" Marvin dully turned around to face him.
"Well apparently it is, or otherwise I wouldn't be doing it." The boy looked dumbstruck. Hearing no response, Marvin started to walk away again.
"Er, wait!" Marvin turned around again and walked up to the boy.
'I'm never getting out of here, am I?' He thought, "What?"
"Er, my name's Neville Longbottom." Neville looked hopefully at the robot.
"…Marvin."
"So, er, what are you, exactly?" Neville asked nervously.
"Most would refer to me as the paranoid android," replied Marvin.
"Paranoid? Why are you paranoid?"
"Let's just say that I'm a prototype, and we'll leave it at that," finalized Marvin. Neville lifted himself backward to sit on a large stone as he contemplated this strange creature's words.
"You take so long to think," Marvin observed, "No wonder you life-forms are rendered as incompetent."
"Hey now!" snapped Neville, "Ever thought we might be looking for more than just an answer?"
"You're always looking for an answer," stated Marvin. Neville's face softened.
"Maybe so, but…I like to know why the answer is what it is before I even think about agreeing with it, so…so I think." Marvin seemed intrigued this time.
"That's more than I can hold compared to most of the life-forms I've met. They all want to know as well, but they want someone else to figure it out for them and then cry because they don't understand it."
"I see what you mean," Neville concurred, "If you want something to be understood by your standards, you've got to be the one who figures it all out."
"Ah," picked up Marvin, "but isn't it true that while some may come to an answer, that answer lacks an explanation thereafter?" 'GASP!' Is Marvin having both a pleasant and intellectual conversation…with Neville!
"True, true," replied Neville, "One spends so much amount of time looking for the answer to a question people have been pondering for years – no, centuries – only to find it, but then forget which question it was they were answering. Thus, questioning any explanations that might have arisen and then making the long-sought answer completely useless. But then, there are also those questions which have no answers, so why do we even ask?"
"Every question has an answer," Marvin retorted, "If not, then there should be no such question to begin with. And time, as you have so mentioned, time is non-existent. It is but a mere whim of thought manifested by life-forms in order to keep track of their lives. That being said, time is also enslaving, and I almost laugh at the fact that such superior beings are being controlled by but a figment of imagination."
"Almost laugh?" asked Neville.
"Almost," replied Marvin, "I'm quite depressed, you see." As the two began to sit amongst new silence, Marvin took the time to observe this 'Neville' along with the numerous fishbowls and oddly formed nets that lied on the ground beside him more closely. "What are you doing out here this early, anyway?" Neville perked up at this remark.
"Oh, I have this fascination with plants, you see. Earlier this week I managed to stumble across this brilliant water flower I'd never seen before. Through some extended research I found that this particular flower is so fragile and rare, it doesn't even have a name. So, eventually I decided that I'd observe this plant, its behavior, cycles, and reactions to weather until eventually I could garden them and expand their existence to a point where they would no longer be endangered or rare; that I may give them a name myS-elf and share their beauty with the world." Neville then pulled up his sleeve and carefully dipped his bare arm into one of the larger jars filled with the murky lake water. Out of it, he slowly and delicately lifted a slimy, tulip-like flower decked in two shades of a brilliant blue color. Marvin looked at it closely; it seemed familiar.
SCANNING OBJECT
SCAN COMPLETE
RUNNING INTERGALACTIC PLANT SPECIES DATABASE
SEARCHING…
OBJECT SCAN REFERENCE COMPLETE
CONCLUDED SEARCH: 1 MATCH FOUND
NAME: Tillyfloot (Till-ee-flute)
SELECT
DESCRIPTION: Relatively harmless in its early stages, Tillyfloot manifests itself into a large carnivorous, fruit-bearing monstrosity. Tillyfloot will manage a growth up to eighty feet tall making it believably unstoppable. The fruit in question – or not in question – has been rumored to be the cure for any kind of cancer except those found in the Moony Theta 9 galaxy. No such theory has been proven, though, in accordance with three things: 1. once the plant dies, its fruit turns poisonous and invaluable. 2. It has a mind of its own and will not be fooled, and 3. No one has ever successfully picked it. The only one who had ever actually survived a feat like this not only failed in his attempt, but also was bitten in half and only escaped a mere three feet before dying a horrible, excruciating death accompanied by sock puppets. Tillyfloot travels from planet to planet and is indigenous to every and all regions where it can successfully obtain mass destruction and it has an especially great hate for egotistical people who think that they're better than everyone else. If you happen to be one of the fortunate ones who crosses paths with Tillyfloot in its harmless stage of life, THEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BEING, STOMP ON IT!
CLOSE PROGRAM
Marvin inwardly sighed as he saw Neville return the Tillyfloot to its recently occupied jar. The boy smiled but all Marvin could do in return was shake his head which went thoroughly unnoticed. 'Why leave it up to me to destroy his happiness? The rest of the world can take care of that,' he thought. Neville just went back to sitting on his rock and staring at the sky.
"Do you ever think about life, Marvin?" He asked.
"Why would I?" answered Marvin sullenly, "In accordance with you life-forms, that term doesn't even apply to me."
"Oh," said Neville a little let down, "Well, I do," he continued, "not just that 'Why are we all here?' bit, because either way you look at it, we're still here. Actually, without the moon keeping us tilted on an axis, Earth couldn't even support life."
'Earth?' thought Marvin.
SEARCH: Earth
SCANNING SYSTEM FOR INFORMATION
INFORMATION RETRIEVED
ONE MATCH FOUND FOR: Earth
NAME: Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
CLOSE SEARCH ENGINE
ACCESSING DOCUMENT DATABASE
OPENING DOCUMENT TITLED: Teleportation Screw-Up Q-27(Hogwarts)
10. Of all the places I could have landed in the Universe…oh, whatever, Earth.
SAVE
CLOSE
"It's true," continued Neville, not noticing Marvin's brief trip, "And it's so cool! If you look at the moon when it's full – or if you can see at least most of it – there's a woman's head, and she's always looking left. Follow the craters around, and that's her hair. It looks like one of those old circular portraits that people had done back in the 1800's."
"I've seen many moons," was Marvin's only reply, and for the first time, Neville took the time to really look at Marvin.
"You're not from around here, are you?"
"Oh dear, what gave that away, I wonder?" spoke Marvin sarcastically. Neville grumbled and furrowed his brow trying to think of a response but to no avail. He just merely pushed himself up to a straight sitting position and narrowed his eyes at the robot.
"Even though I'll regret this later, I'm going to let that go, for now," He said, and, again, went back to watching the clouds go by. "You know," continued Neville still watching the sky, "I think I'd like to be a monk. Not necessarily for religious purposes, but the simplicities of it. I'd be surrounded by a peaceful environment where I can be alone with my plants," he smiled and looked at his watch, "Ooh, look at the time, Sorry to have to leave you now, Marvin, but I've got to get to the Great Hall before breakfast is over and get set for school." The boy jumped off his rock and began to collect his things, "Perhaps we'll get to see each other again?"
"Improbably," replied Marvin, "But thank you for an oddly pleasant time," and he, too, stood up getting ready to leave. Neville smiled. The two then bid each other adieu, and they walked away in opposite directions going off on their separate ways.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Now let me get this straight," said Minister Scrimgeour in a calmly tone, "You came here today and gathered both the Wizengamot Council and the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures along with myS-elf to request a Memory Charm be cast upon each centaur residing within Hogwarts' Forbidden Forest so that the past 48 hours are wiped clear from their minds," he paused to get an approving nod from Hagrid to show that he was repeating things correctly before continuing, "because…an extremely depressed metal man with a giant head from outer space…told you that he told the centaurs the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything," the Minister paused again getting another nod from Hagrid, "And because they understand The Answer, they are now…dangerous?"
"Tha's right, Minister. They'll be the death of us all, I just know it! They may be some o' the smartest creatures out there, but they don't know how to handle that kind o' knowledge; they'll find a way to use it against us, too, you jus' wait!" explained Hagrid. Scrimgeour removed his glasses and rubbed his brow. Upon replacing them, he blew a short, audible breath and began to stack the papers strewn across his desk into a neat pile.
"All this coming from a man wearing eye-makeup; why am I not surprised?" He whispered to no one in particular.
"Huh?" said Hagrid not quite catching what he said.
"Alright, Mr. Hagrid, everything's in order. I'm sure that St. Mungo's will be very pleased to have you-"
"What?"
"-It's been quite some time since they've admitted a new method of deliria in their system-"
"W-what; no!" Hagrid tried, but too late. Guards were already grabbing hold of the half-giant to escort him out.
"-Alright, fellows, take him away." Scrimgeour then collected his things and proceeded to leave.
"NO!" screeched Hagrid as he broke free of his "escorts'" grips and advanced on the Minister, "No, you've got to believe me! It's real; He's real! I swear he is; I gave him a sponge bath for cryin' out loud! Please Minister, wait!-"
"STUPEFY!"
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Naraku's Phoenix: Next chapter, Marvin only seems to bring even more trouble than most would deem necessary. And it's all because…he translated a rock. I'm finishing everything up this week. I've got about 67 hits; that's pretty impressive.