I should also mention that this is a story I am writing without a co-author for once.

I'd also like to warn my readers that this part gets a little dirty. -Cough cough- If you know what I mean.

...

Sitting in front of the Christmas tree with Hawkeye, Roy looked down. She was right of course, but she deserved an apology. "Lieutenant, I made a mistake-"

Hawkeye looked at him sharply. "Its a bit late to be realizing that now."

"I know Lieutenant and I'm sorry. I had not wanted to put my career at risk, so I got with Amy. She seemed so much like you... I didn't know I had hurt you. It was never my intention to hurt you."

Her gaze softened at the desperation and genuine sadness in his voice. But she still didn't understand. "Why did you marry her then?"

"I didn't know you loved me. It was something I often wondered about, but never could confirm. I began to think you didn't." Hawkeye sat up straight and grabbed one of his hands, holding it in both of hers. "How could I have shown you, sir? It isn't allowed!" Roy smiled sadly.

"I have to admit, you hid your feelings well."

Hawkeye blinked a few times, holding back tears. "Too well." She whispered.

"I can't replace you, Lieutenant. I see that now. I thought I could love Amy. I thought I did, but I don't." He told her. A tear ran down her face and Roy slipped a hand out of hers and wiped it away. "Please, don't cry Lieutenant." He said softly.

"Its my fault. If only I had found some way to show you before. But its too late now." She said, bowing her head. Roy put his hands on her shoulders.

"Its not your fault, Lieutenant. I know you want to blame someone for all of the pain you've been through, but don't put it on yourself. You haven't done anything. I'm the one who married. I'm the one who broke your heart. I'm the one to blame in all of this."

"Sir, you didn't know-" "Don't make excuses for me, Lieutenant. I made the biggest mistake of my life and you have no idea how much I regret it. I don't know if I can fix this, but I'm sure as hell going to try." Hawkeye lifted her head and opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly found Roy's lips on hers. Her heart fluttered in her chest. His hands slipped up through her hair, holding the back of her head. After a moment, he pulled his lips away from hers. Hawkeye seemed dazed. "What-"

"Consider it a promise." He told her. Their eyes met and slowly, their lips met again. Roy's heart pounded as he felt Hawkeye's body move up against his, her arms wrapping around him. They kissed each other passionately, getting more and more lost in their lust. Roy pulled the blanket off of her and slid his hands down her back. She shivered a little and arched her back, pressing against him. Whether is was out of her need for him or because she was a little cold or both, it didn't really matter to Roy. He was really turned on by it. Still kissing her, he slowly laid her down on the floor. He knelt with her between his knees and hovered above her as they kissed. Until he broke the kiss. Hawkeye gasped as he pulled her robe open. I want to open my gift early. He couldn't help thinking as he looked down at her. In one swift movement, he took his own robe off and then bent down to kiss her again.

Panting softly, Hawkeye turned her head away. "You... can't- you shouldn't-"

"Do you really want me to stop Lieutenant?" Roy asked, pausing. She hesitated. He knew why she wanted him to stop. It was because of his family. It would be wrong. It was just as obvious however, that she wanted this as much as him and the only thing making her hesitate was his family. Roy didn't have as good self-control as Hawkeye did though. Not when it came to this. Not when it came to her. He moved his lips to her ear and gave it a gentle kiss. "I need this Lieutenant. I need you." He whispered to her as he lowered himself onto her. The bulge in his boxers rubbed against her panties. "But... I can stop-"

"No." Hawkeye moaned and her hands grabbed his ass, squeezing it. "Please." She whispered, spreading her legs. Roy kissed her passionately at this answer. He rubbed up against her a little more firmly as they kissed, then pulled away from her to take off his boxers before turning back to her. He smirked, thinking of the fun he was going to have in undressing her.

...

Roy was spent and from the look of it, Hawkeye was too. He felt sore, but holding Hawkeye in his arms made up for the pain. He knew she had to be sore herself, considering the fact that this had been her first time. "This..." Hawkeye suddenly whispered.

"-was one of the best nights of my life." Roy replied. He had a good idea as to what she had been about to say. He knew she would feel guilty afterward, even though he wished she wouldn't. He knew the subject of his family would be brought up again eventually by her. He will find a way to fix his mistakes though.

"But sir-"

"It can't be a mistake." He said firmly, interrupting her. "Because for once in my life, I felt like I did something right." Hawkeye was silent for a moment as if thinking about what he said.

"It was the best night of my life too." She whispered at last and smiled a little, her eyes meeting his. She looked so tired... and so damn pleased that Roy wanted to imprint this look on her face in his memory forever. "I need to return to bed." She said. "Before I fall asleep here." She started to pull away and get up, wincing. Roy didn't want her to go. Not yet. He quickly sat up.

"Lieutenant. You're hurt. Let me carry you to bed." Hawkeye looked at him and a big smile broke over her face. Roy had never seen her like this before and it took him a moment to realize she was holding back a laugh.

"I'm not that sore, sir. I can walk."

Roy blushed a little, embarrassed. I should've worded that better. He thought awkwardly. How was he going to get her to agree to it now? She had started collecting her discarded clothes when Roy suddenly knew what to do. He got up and went over to her, then scooped her up into his arms, like a husband would carry his wife after being newly wed. She gasped and found herself looking at his smirking face. "I'm afraid I must insist, Lieutenant." Having dropped her clothes to grab a hold of him, Hawkeye suddenly became very aware of how they were both still naked. He tried to keep his gaze on hers, but it traveled down her naked body as if he couldn't get enough of looking at her. As if he'd never grow tried of looking at her. "Its going to be hard to resist joining you in bed." He said and she blushed, nuzzling her head against his chest as if in an attempt to hide her red cheeks.

"Don't tempt me into convincing you to." She replied. "You'll have to go back and grab my clothes for me too." Hawkeye added.

"Sure, sure."

"Colonel." She said sternly. Roy didn't have to look at her to see the look she must be giving him.

"Okay Lieutenant. I will." He promised. Roy carried her up to the guest room and laid her on the bed. Before he could grab the covers, Hawkeye had a hold of them and pulled them over herself, giving a little shiver. "You know, its behavior like that that will convince me to stay with you." He teased. Roy knew she would make him go back to bed with Amy no matter what.

"My clothes, sir." Hawkeye mumbled sleepily.

"Of course, Lieutenant." Roy went down and picked them up, pausing at the lingerie. He ran a hand across the fabric. It had a feel like gift wrap on the outside, but on the inside it was soft. The perfect time for this too, considering that tomorrow it will be Christmas Eve. She really did know him so well. Roy put his own clothes back on and headed back upstairs. He expected Hawkeye to be fast asleep, but she was awake, waiting for him. He took the clothes over to her and set them on the bed and then placed the blanket over her, so she had more warmth. Her hand grabbed his before he moved away.

"Sir." She said and tugged on his hand. Roy got the message and bent over so his face was by hers. "Thank you." She whispered and kissed him gently, before letting his hand go and moving away. "You should go to your bed. Remember your promise." She added, saying the last in such a way as if she was afraid he would forget, though they both knew he wouldn't.

"Don't worry Lieutenant. I'll find a way." He told her and left the room.