Chapter 33: Memories…

The next morning I woke up feeling grumpy and lonely, taking my time to shower and get dressed for my first class of the year. As I walked the hall, all I could think about was the tournament and what could possibly happen to Harry while it was going on. Yes he couldn't enter because he was too young, but I know that it was highly unlikely that he would have a normal year here. I wasn't paying much attention as I entered the classroom and greeted the students. I cleared my throat, deciding I needed to focus so that I could actually teach something.

The day seemed to drag as the students weren't really focusing on learning as talking about the triwizard coming up. I slammed my hands on my desk, getting all of their attention. "I understand that it is very interesting! However this is my classroom and I am here to teach Elemental magic! Not for my words to fall on deaf ears because you can't pay attention. Now, if you want to drop this class and have a free period to gossip, fine, get out. If not open your books to page 200 and read it and then practice on the glass of water in front of you." a couple people got up and went to leave when one girl raised her hand. "Yes?" "There are rocks in front of us, not water." I blinked, realizing I was teaching the wrong lesson to the wrong class.

I sighed and sat in my chair, rubbing my temple. "You guys just go back to gossiping. I need a moment to gather myself. Forgive me." I said and walked into my office, opening the window all the way and breathing deeply in. I couldn't even think straight right now. I stared out to the lake for a while, before I thought back to when I was a student here.

**Memory**

I had rejoined Lily and the others in the dining hall after leaving Sirius in our secret spot. "Hey, where have you been? I looked everywhere." I shrugged and pulled a biscuit off a tray and began to nibble on it, feeling a pit in my stomach for how I left Sirius just sitting there. "Everything alright Phoebe?" I blinked, realizing my biscuit was gone and I had been chewing on my fingers. "Oh yeah, just thinking about this exam coming up. Worried…you know?" James laughed and Lily scoffed. "You know you will ace it…just like all the those. I swear you are the best student Hogwarts have ever seen." Lily said and patted my shoulder.

I went to speak, when Sirius appeared, a huge smirk on his face. He plopped down across from me beside James. "Where were you Padfoot?" he asked and I bit my lip trying to hope he would keep his mouth shut about us. "Oh you know me…just a little pranking." he grinned ear to ear, before leaning over and whispering in James's ear about what he had planned as a prank. James got the same grin on his face and they stood up together, prompting the other boys to join them. "See you girls later. We got stuff to do." James said and Sirius stuck his tongue out at us and threw up a jelly filled donut, making it slap the table and throw jelly at us.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a napkin, starting to clean myself up. "Not even a comeback Phoebe? Alright, what's really going on?" Lily asked, also wiping Jelly off her face. "I'm fine, I'm just thinking to much." I wiped my cheek and Lily laughed, "You got some on your neck." she went to wipe it off, only to begin to rub hard. "Lily, that's hurting me. It's fine. I'll take a bath and it'll come off." I said, swatting her hand away when she gasped. "It's a hickey! Oh my gosh! Phoebe!" I instantly grabbed my neck and covered the spot, standing up. "No it's not. Must be having a reaction from the jelly."

I backed up a few steps before turning and running from the hall. I rushed to the nearest bathroom and ran to a dirty mirror, holding my hand away and seeing a barely visible hickey on my neck. I groaned and tried to think about how the heck I was going to explain this. I mean they were all in their seventh year and I was in my sixth(Having gotten a time turner and earned enough to move up a year); it was still not really a time for talking about boyfriends in my mind. Lily never mentioned an crushes and neither did I. Not to mention the crush I had was a guy that everyone knew I couldn't stand…to their knowledge.

I sighed, how would I be able to cover this up? Or explain it? "Ohhh….a boy did that right?" I nearly jumped outta my skin as I whipped around and was facing Moaning Myrtle. "Jeez. Don't sneak up on people." I was holding my chest as I calmed my nerves and straightened my collar. "And it's none of your business. It's just a bit of rash from jelly." I huffed out and felt my face hot with blush. "See, I'm having a reaction. I need to go see the nurse. Bye." I rushed from the bathroom before she could say anything else and started stomping up the stairs. I knew he was going to make a mark, I should've stopped sooner. I knew we were going to get caught soon.

It had been a while of this, we had been sneaking around for almost 4 years. It was all fun and games and close calls. I had called it off multiple times, swearing I wouldn't go back and meet him anymore. Yet I was always going back on my word and rushing off to meet him in our secret spots when he would slip me notes asking me. "Phoebe, there you are!" I turned and saw James running toward me. "Oh hey James. Thought you guys had a prank to do?" I said and began to walk faster, but his long legs gained on me quick. He had to pick the side with the hickey and smiled at me.

"It's for a little later. I wanted to see if you could help me with my homework. I can't figure something-" he stopped talking and went to reach up and touch my neck, but I jerked away, hopping up a step to distance us. "Phoebe….is that what I think it is?" I shook my head and took another step up but he followed suit, his grin getting bigger and bigger. "James, go away. I've got a rash from your friend throwing Jelly on Lily and me." my face was getting red and hot as I retreated up the stairs, hearing his calls for me to stop but not listening. I found an empty classroom and sat on a desk, rubbing my neck to try hopelessly to make it go away.

"So I hear you've been marked by some guy." I jumped and turned to see Sirius smirking and leaning against the door. I narrowed my eyes and straightened my clothes out. "Some idiot. Who I never plan on seeing again." I snapped back and hopped off the desk. He came over and gave my collar a tug, getting a good look at the mark on my neck. "Aw, it's not even that bad, it's barely there. Let me fix that." he went to lean in but I jumped back, not realizing how tight a grip he had on my shirt. My buttons popped with ease and I was standing there in my bra showing from the open shirt.

Sirius's eyes went right to them as I pulled the shirt together, hiding my chest from him. Red-faced again, I scoffed. "You just don't get it. This can't happen anymore. It has gone way too far already. It's really over." I said and took a step away from him, not trusting myself to give in again. It was like he had a power over me, his eyes when he looked at me, just me…was too much. "You don't mean that…do you?" his eyes were staring at me, I could feel them burning into my lowered head. "I can't do this again. Really. I need to go." I went to pass him, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me to his chest, giving me a tight hug.

"You can't…I think-I know I love you now. I can't not be with you." his confession threw me off…he loved me? I wrapped my arms around him and looked up into his eyes, seeing them shining bright. "Sirius…you don't mean that." I breathed out, knowing that if he really did…I wouldn't be able to deny myself my own feelings. He leaned down to me, kissing me softly before pressing his forehead to mine. "Phoebe…I do. I wanted to leave a mark so they would see and then we could really be together. We are all growing up now. Why can't we just be with each other?" I chewed my lip, unsure of what I was going to say now.