REVAMPED CHAPTER!

Anything you recognize, we do not own. Please remember that this is pure silliness and please remember to review.

--

Jack roused with a start to discover herself in a small room, lying on a padded bench next to large windows. "Where the flip am I?" she asked the room, as if it would answer. The room answered back.

"In my cabin, on my ship," it announced. Jack sat up rapidly and saw where the voice actually came from. It was a boy sitting at a dark wooden desk. He rose from his seat, and Jack immediately noticed that he was tall, had dark hair, and green eyes, and that he couldn't be much older than herself.

"Your ship?" said Jack. "So you are El Capitan, eh?"

"What? No. I'm CASpian the-" he started, thinking she had mispronounced his name, but Jack cut him off.

"You're not the Captain," she said in a highly disappointed tone.

"No, I'm the King of Narnia," he replied proudly.

"Hmm," she hmmed, not at all daunted.

"May I ask you for your name?" he asked politely.

"Which one?"

"Which one?" repeated Caspian, not quite understanding.

"Yes, I am different things to different people so it only seems right to have different names. But I really don't think I want to actually give you any of them."

"Any of them?" Caspian's brow knit together. He was beginning to see that rescuing these girls wasn't such a prestigious idea after all.

"Yes, I like my names too much to part with, even for a king." Jack sighed. Caspian finally realized what she was getting at, and decided, with waning patience, to try again.

"What shall I call you?" he asked cautiously.

"Oh, well, you can call me Jack,"

"Jack?" his eyes widened in surprise.

"Is there an echo in here? Yes, Jack!" she said impatiently

"Jack is hardly a name for a lady,"

"And Caspian is hardly a name for anyone," Jack shot back. Caspian's breast swelled instinctively with rising rage and bewilderment.

"Oh? And are you qualified to make such a judgment?"

"Yes. I am, dear King, a Jedi Master," she promulgated.

"A what?"

"Doesn't matter," said she, waving her hand to dismiss the idea. Caspian deflated and massaged his temples meticulously, worn out. He slowly brightened when she said, "But, I would like a tour of your fantastic ship."

"Of course, follow me," He led the way, pleased that she was interested in one of his favorite subjects.

The first thing Jack noticed, when she arrived under the blue sky, was how very purple the only sail was. In fact, it almost gave her a headache. It also surprised her that there was only one mast.

"Nice wood work," she commented sarcastically, pointing to the sole mast.

"Thank you." Caspian took it as a compliment. "I had Drinian order it specially from the Lone-"

"It sucks." Jack spelled it out.

"What?" Caspian was mortified.

"Well, where are all the other sails? The masts and the lines?"

"How do you mean?" he looked truly puzzled.

"On real ships you have at least 20 sails, mostly white. There the jib in front, a triangle sail that is over the bow. Behind is the foresail; the mainmast is in the center and the mizzen behind it. On each mast, the mainsail is in the center, or bottom, depending on the spanker, and the topsail is above. The staysail is a triangle sail, connecting the masts. The topgallant staysail connects them at the top. Understand?" Jack grew animated, talking with her hands and pointing to where the sails should be. By this time, Caspian concluded that it would be best not to even try to understand, what could have been a completely different language, of both bizarre girls. Caspian caught the last word and nodded his head as if he really did understand, not wanting to be stood up by Jack. Just then, both noticed a crowd gathering rapidly under the stairs of the poop deck and they went to investigate.

--

Max unfolded her eyes and saw a scruffy-looking chin and neck. They surely hadn't been shaved for a couple of days, at least. The next thing she noticed was that her eyes were blurred and the back of her head was pulsating mercilessly. But what was really rummy was that the background of the chin and neck was purple, a dark, rich purple. Instead of commenting on how unattractive and insensitive the color purple is for a background, she took inventory and was horribly surprised to find that she was being carried. This fact was most alarming of all. She shrieked, straightened out her legs and shoved away from the hairy chin.

The result was not what she was expecting; she hit the floor hard and smacked her face into the biting wood. Her head detonated as she lurched to her feet and started running as fast as wobbly legs could carry her, which was little more than a trot. Unfortunately, she did not see the short flight of steep stairs ahead. She missed the first step and tumbled down the rest. Max landed with a few resounding thumps, once again, face down. This time she didn't get up, she just lay there, eyes tightly shut, catching her breath and trying, for the life of her, to figure out what was going on.

"Miss! Miss! Are you alright?" a male, accented voice asked. She winced; his rapid foot steps were creating the brassiest racket and making her head hammer all the more. Max sat up reluctantly looking around.

"Where the holy heck, and all things Turkish, am I?" She growled at the young man that belonged to the chin. He was rigged out in tan trousers that were to big for him and a white shirt tucked sloppily in. He had short, curly, sandy-blond hair that stood up avidly, a dark face and brown eyes. Reasonably handsome, Max decided, and regretted growling at him. He looked genuinely concerned, but you never know with curly-blonds with brown eyes.

"On Caspian, the Tenth King of Narnia's Dawn Treader, captained by Lord Drinian. I didn't mean you harm, miss. I was ordered to take you to the King's quarters but you shouted something and ran straight into the mast."

While this guy was rambling incoherently, Max began to think, but found it hard work. Who is this Caspian? What is Narnia? What is a Dawn Treader? Who is Drinian? How did I get here? What did I last eat? How could Anakin go to the dark side? Then somebody pushed their way though the crowd of sailors that had gathered around, and it all slammed back into her damaged head. Max leapt up.

"Jack! Jackjackjackjackjackjack! JACK!" Max grabbed Jack in a death grip. The mirror, the boat, the rope, the chase. "You'd never believe, I couldn't remember. You swooned and I tied you up. Then I couldn't climb the rope! A hairy neck!" she prattled. Jack pried herself out of the death grip and grabbed Max by the cheeks and sides of her head.

"Max! SNAP OUT OF IT!" she bellowed and shook her friend. Max shut her mouth, blinked, and look around.

Seeing all the sailors gawking, she snapped, "What are you looking at, MORTALS! Don't you have anything better to do? Go furl a sail or, or catch a chicken or something!" They mumbled some stuff and went back to work.

"Are you quite alright?" Caspian asked, looking at her like she was absolutely bonkers and headed for the asylum. He kind of scooted, inconspicuously, away from Max, not wanting to catch this virus.

"Do I look bloody alright?" roared Max, letting go of Jack completely and turning on Caspian. She stumbled back like drunk. "I'm in a strange country, world, planety- place, and my head hurts like when I got vicks in my eye, but worse, or when I stuck my eye up to that red blinking light at City Market for the peanuts. Remember that Jack? That's when we saw... my Master has blonde hair now." Max was still rambling.

"Uh, oh yeah." nodded Jack, unconvincingly.

"And you know what?" said Max pointing at Jack.

"What?" supplemented Jack, a more than a bit perplexed and worried.

"When did your twin arrive, Jack? Oh." Max laughed, "You don't have a twin."

"Well done, Sherlock." said Jack. "Maybe you should go lay down." Jack elbowed Caspian and he caught on.

"Oh, yes, my cabin, right this way." led Caspian. "Oh Drinian, this lady here," he motioned to Jack, "has some comments about your ship."

"Oh! So now it's his ship! Not your ship," pointed out Jack. Caspian would have been schooled, but everyone was immediately distracted by Max, who was chasing seagulls calling out,

"COME BACK DOOGIES!"

--

Catchcat: Why thank you, very much! We do try to entertain!

Reepicheep: I know...it's terrible, isn't it?

Louie: you are good. heh.

Vid: Thank you.

The freshman: We will try to make it funnier. We will try.

Jilyn90: Yes, I liked the sith lord part, also...wait...which part are you taking about?

Agent Tomcat: Cohesivly random...I like that. lol.

fizzledizzle in the hood of the westside: You are about as random as a fruit cake.

Jesse: You are FAR too kind to us. Thanks for your loyalty in revewing!