REVAMPED CHAPTER!
We do not own anything. Except ourselves. And some funny things. Thank you for revewing!
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Two uneventful days passed- well no, uneventful for Max, as she slept the entire time, but Jack found these days not so uneventful. She was had a lot of practice at badgering poor Captain Drinian with utterly flummoxing nautical questions that he was unable to answer. Jack also had a knack for snitching food from other sailors who, by chance, looked away for a moment, and lost their share of a breakfast to a grinning red-head. The cook was also fed up with her, for she was skilled in the culinary art, more in fact than the cook was himself. She called people irregular names and asked them to perform irregular tasks.
In fact, one afternoon, she asked the cook to explain his life in a narrative without using the word 'the'. He cocked his eyebrow and said, "Bah." and kept chopping up cabbage. Jack commenced to declare him a 'Poopen' and stomped out to go ask Caspian to put on a puppet show.
"A what?"
"Puppet show. And you can't say the word 'the.'" she got a baffled look from Caspian and Jack yelled, "POOPEN!"
Any way after two "uneventful" days, Max finally awoke to an irritating knocking at the door.
"Leemelone," she grumbled. The knocks came again.
"Eerrrghah!" Max issued a grunting noise as she threw a candle stick at the door, which had previously been sitting on the night stand.
"Are you decent?" came a shrill voice from outside.
"More decent than you! No decent person comes knocking on a poor soul's door to wake her up at un-forcely hours!"
"It is time for luncheon," that small-sounding harbinger announced.
"The King and Lady Jack have sent for you. You are to attend a meeting for the duration of mid meal. If you do not show yourself, I will come in at once."
"I'M NAKED!" lied Max.
"I think you're bluffing."
"It's possible pig!" she announced. "It's conceivable, you vomitous mass!"
There was a pause then the door opened. Max blinked in the sudden daylight to see, there, on the threshold, Max's worst night mare from her darkest of her most unnaturally scary dreams: A GIANT MOUSE. There was a pause of terror and then Max, without a sound, jumped out from under the sheets, sprinted out the only escape, the doorway, hurtled over the rodent, and fled for her life. She grabbed the first sailor she could find, by the collar, trying to look menacing, which did not work because she was a bit too short.
"Where's the grub-hall!" demanded she.
"Pardon?" he looked amused and surprised.
"Grub-eat-food. Where do I go to eat!" she looked wildly around to see if the rodent was anywhere near.
"Ah, the galley? Down the stairs to the left of the hammocks, miss." She ran faster than when she was forced to run in the track meet in elementary school. She scrambled down the ladder and slammed the oak door open. Upon seeing Jack and a few insignificant others in the small room, she ran to an unoccupied seat next to her friend. All eyes were on her.
"Proceed." she commanded in the deepest and most commanding voice she could conjure up. Caspian complied and started gassing on about, actually, Max didn't even know what he was talking about. The insignificant others included Captain Drinian, some Lords, a few important-looking fellows and officers. The rodent did not come, and Max began to wonder if she had made it up in her head.
"Jack. Pssssst! There are R.O.U.S.s here!" Lord Drinian overheard and interrupted Caspian's long-winded speech.
"Rodents of unusual size?" said he. "I don't believe they exist."
Just then, the door burst open again, and that awful night mareish R.O.U.S. announced, "My Lord," and bowed very low and swished his tail. Max yelled and jumped up on the table, knocking off a few dishes and getting a few complaints. Jack, however, squealed and clapped, very impressed.
"Bravo! Bravo! Well, done, Caspian, you've outdone yourself this time! He's SO cute! I love it when he does that! Here," she got up and pulled out a piece of cheese and gave it to a very peeved-looking Reepicheep, for that is who it really was. Reepicheep took the cheese and hit Max in the forehead with it. He gracefully scrambled to a chair and perched, as mice tend to do. Jack pulled Max off the tabled and every one sat down again.
Caspian continued as if nothing had happened. "As I was saying..." After that, Max lost him and contented herself with carving her name into the wooden table. After a bit, Jack nudged her and she looked up. Every one was looking at her and she was vaguely reminded of the times with she wasn't paying attention in class and the teacher called on her and asked a question...
"Yes." Max said hoping that was the answer to the question she apparently missed.
Caspian blinked and repeated himself. "Why and how have you come to be in the middle of the ocean?"
"That is the secret of secrets!" whispered Jack slowly and mysteriously.
"Excuse me?" said Caspian.
"No, Jack, we-" began Max but was tackled to the floor by none other than Jack.
"Why'd you do that!" cried Max, but only mumbling was heard because her mouth was covered.
"Shhh," hissed Jack into Max's ear and she jerked her hand off Max's mouth for, at that moment, Max licked her hand.
"Blast your football/rugby skills." said Max, still pinned down.
"You licked me!" Jack cried in disgust.
"Yeah. I did."
"Arggg! My hand is wet and slimy." said Jack as she wiped it on Max's face.
"Ewey, I don't want it!" protested Max.
"It's yours!" squeaked Jack.
This whole time they were being stared at by everyone in the room. When Max realized this, she coughed. "So, what's for lunch?" The two girls struggled to their feet, righted their seats, and sat down again.
"So, um" coughed Caspian, "Who exactly are you?"
"Well, I am the most wanted man on my island," started Jack in an Irish accent. "But I'm not on my Island, and I'm not a man, more's the pity."
"Ireland?" supplied Max.
"Yes. It's mine." Jack did a perfect impression of Stephen the Irishman. "But really, I am Captain Jack Aubrey of the HMS Surprise." Unfortunately, at that moment Max was drinking whatever was in front of her and it began pouring out of her nose. It is things like this that make Max and Jack laugh so hard that there is this dead silence while they are trying to breathe and tears are streaming down their faces. During this time Caspian was whispering to Drinian.
"I find them to be a bit tedious."
"Indeed." replied Drinian.
As soon as they quit laughing, Max cried, "And I'm the Queen of the Netherlands!"
--
"MAN OVER BOARD!" called man from on deck. Everyone jumped up at once except Max and Jack who were grinning because they knew who was overboard. It was Eustace and the Pevensies. But more importantly: Eustace.
Up on deck there was a whole bunch of blokes crowded around the port side of the ship. They all rushed to the edge to see who was in the water. Jack pulled Max aside to get a better look.
"Hey!" yelled Max. "Jaaaack, I am tired of you pushing me around!" Max shoved Jack back. Hard. As fate would have it, Caspian just happened to be in front of Jack, peering at the "man" overboard when Max shoved Jack as hard as she could. Jack stumbled into Caspian and Caspian tumbled overboard. There was a resounding, "NOOOOO!" as everyone on board saw their king disappear into the waves. Caspian emerged and immediately glared at the two grinning girls.
"Oops." said Jack.
"Yeah, oops, or whoops as Louie said when he was playing Pictionary in Spanish."
Since Caspian was already in the waster he swam over to help the drowning figures. He pried Eustace off Lucy and helped tie the rope around the children. When they were all safe on board, Caspian finally recognized the Pevensies, but not, of course, Eustace. They all clasped hands, smiling.
Eustace stood there, on deck, extremely wet and frightened.
Jack and Max both squealed, "Useless! EEEE!" Jack used her good rugby skills and tackled him in a bear-hug, and Max put to good use her life guarding skills to help him back up and hug him all the more. There are not morally justified words for the look on Eustace's face at this point, except he might have been at bit pleased at all the attention and a bit annoyed at the over all situation.
His position shifted and he cried, "Let me go! Let me go back!" and tried to pry himself out of the grasp of Max, who did not relent.
"Let you go?" said Caspian. "But where?" Eustace ran to the ship's edge and looked into the sky as if he would be able to see the picture frame from which he came.
Lord Rynelf cleared his throat into his hand, and stooped down to Caspian's height, which wasn't that short. Man, thought Max, Rynelf is tall. "I believe he must be directing the statement, 'Let me go' to Miss Max, who is nearly suffoCADing the poor boy."
"No!" protested Jack. "He obviously means he wants to be let go of a relationship that he is not enjoying. Did you here that?" Jack tuned to Max. "He wants. To break. It off." Max did no such thing.
"Of course not, silly!" exclaimed Lucy. "The only thing he could be intending to say, is that he wants to go back to Aunt Alberta and Uncle Herold's; back where he can look at bugs pinned to cardboard. Right Eustace?" confirmed Lucy.
But Eustace wasn't listening. He had gone to puke over the boat, ship, thing.
--
AgentRusco: You are the best!
Queen Peter: Um, isn't peter a boy...? Anyway...yes it is quite rough around the edges. It's like...toast. Just peel the edges off and it tastes pretty good, right?
Wally: Dying is not allowed. lol.
Samantha: yes, I love starwars too. Did you notice?
Jerilynn: Why, thank you, friend.
Louie: you are good.
Vid: I also like that I don't have a twin.
Capella85: You are very generous!
fizzle dizzle in the hood of the west side: Creepy men are not allowed.
Jesse: Yes, I agree it's pretty boring now...huh.