Chapter 11

Tim woke up, finally feeling like he was himself. He still ached. He still felt terrible. He still felt very fuzzy about what was going on, but he felt like he was himself and that was a wonderful thing.

He opened his eyes and there was some blurriness, some dizziness, but overall, it wasn't bad.

At least, he thought that until he tried to move. Then, he felt a stab of pain in his head, another in his shoulder and he felt an incredible weakness that hadn't been apparent before. He started trying to sit up, but instantly, there was someone stopping him.

"Timothy, you need to stay still. You're in no condition to be moving around or even sitting up at this point."

Tim managed to turn his head to the side.

"Ducky," he said, reassuring himself that he did indeed remember him.

"Yes, lad. How are you feeling on this awakening?"

"I was awake before," Tim said.

Ducky nodded with a smile. "Yes, a number of times, actually."

"Oh. I remember... one... maybe two."

Ducky smiled encouragingly.

"That's all right. All things considered, any memories you have of your recent past are good. How are you feeling? I would guess there is still some pain?"

"Yes," Tim admitted. "Plenty."

"I'm sure of that. I'll get your doctor in here."

Ducky started to turn away, but Tim reached out.

With the wrong hand. He groaned at the sharp pain. Ducky turned back in a moment and pushed his hand back to the bed.

"Keep your left arm still, Timothy. I know it's your dominant hand, but try not to aggravate it," Ducky said. "Your doctor should be close by. He thought you might be waking soon. I'll get him."

"Wait," Tim said, through his pain.

"What, Timothy?"

"I can't... think when the pain is gone. Everything gets so fuzzy."

"I know that, but you need that relief."

"Just wait a minute," Tim said. "Please."

Ducky sat back down in the chair.

"Very well. What?"

"What's going on, Ducky?" Tim asked. "I need to know. How long has it been? Where am I? Where's Tony? Why won't anyone answer my questions? Who was that in here before that the doctor kicked out? What is happening? The last thing I really remember is Tony and me being undercover in Norfolk."

Tim could tell that Ducky was not sure about answering his questions. That made him worried. If the answers were straightforward, Ducky would have been quick to respond.

"Ducky, please."

Ducky sighed. "Very well. It's been two weeks since you were brought here."

"Two weeks?" Tim repeated, stunned. "I've been... in the hospital for two weeks?"

"Yes, but you were in Norfolk for a few days before that. You're in Bethesda now. You were found in Norfolk in a large dumpster and taken to a hospital there, but we had you transferred here once we learned your location and you were physically stable. We felt it was safer than leaving you where you had been injured. From all we can tell, you only barely missed the sides of the dumpster when you fell but you hit hard enough that it caused a TBI and you must have landed somewhat on your left side since your collarbone is broken on that side. We don't know how long you were there before you were discovered. From what we could discern, there were shots fired in the apartment building beside the dumpster because there were calls to 911 reporting gunshots shortly before you were found. The police came to investigate the reports and, when they went out to the fire escape, they looked down and saw you."

"Was I shot?" He didn't think he had been, but he would never have guessed more than two weeks of unconsciousness, either.

"No. However, there was an apartment with numerous gunshots through the door and some windows. It was right above where you were found. And both your fingerprints and Anthony's were found in the apartment later. So we can only assume that was where you were staying."

"What about Tony?"

Ducky looked uncomfortable, which was very odd for him.

"I'll go get your doctor now."

Tim started to reach out again, but Ducky stopped him.

"Stay still, Timothy. While you're definitely on the mend now, your injuries could have been fatal. You can't rush things."

Tim ignored that even though the pain was getting hard to think through. "Tony, Ducky. Where is he?"

Ducky sighed and put a gentle hand Tim's arm. That made Tim more worried than anything else he could have done. Again, Ducky wouldn't have been acting like this if things were normal.

"We don't know where Anthony is. There has been no sign of him since that day. Nothing at all. However..."

"What?"

"Some of the evidence we've found is pointing to Anthony as being... involved."

"Involved? What do you–?" At first, Tim couldn't understand what Ducky meant. Then, his eyes widened and he started to sit up again. "No! No, Ducky. There's no way that..."

A sudden surge of pain cut him off mid-sentence and Ducky again held him back.

"Timothy, I'm getting your doctor."

"No... Ducky, Tony can't be... dirty," Tim said, gritting his teeth. "He can't be!"

"Timothy, you must relax. I agree with you, but we have nothing to combat what we've found so far. Not even a... not even Anthony himself."

Tim let Ducky push him down and the pain was enough that he had to breathe through it for a few seconds. Then, he looked at Ducky again.

"You think he's dead. Don't you."

"It's been two weeks. We've been searching ever since you were found. We've put out BOLOs through the entire area around Norfolk. Nothing. He's made no effort to contact anyone, not using any of the methods we set up before you went undercover. Not the burn phones, not the message hidden in your shoes, nothing. We've searched the hospitals and now..."

"Now?"

"They're searching the water, hoping to find... his body."

Tim shook his head again. "No. Tony can't be dead and he's not dirty! You thought he was dead before. I was the only one who wouldn't believe it and I was right!"

Ducky's expression was sympathetic. "Timothy, that was when he was missing for one day and he contacted us as soon as he could. It's been over two weeks and nothing."

"Maybe he can't contact us."

"It's possible."

"But not because he's dead!"

"Timothy, calm down. The reason I'm here alone is because everyone is still searching for information. Abigail has been running searches and tests nearly every waking moment, trying to get more information. Jethro and Eleanor are investigating possible leads. Now that you're more awake, they'll likely come to visit you. We're not giving up. But right now... things aren't looking good."

"But... it's just not..."

The pain in his head increased dramatically and he closed his eyes in reaction to the throbbing. In that moment of distraction, Ducky clearly took advantage and went out of the room because the next thing Tim knew, the voice of the person who must be his doctor was speaking to him.

"Agent McGee, I'm glad to see you so much more aware today. That bodes well for your recovery. Now, Dr. Mallard told me that you're feeling some pain."

Tim nodded. He was reluctant to get the painkillers that fogged up his brain, but at the same time, he really wanted to stop hurting.

"All right. So we're going to relieve your pain now, but we'll also give you a PCA which will allow you to control your pain to some degree."

"Okay."

In moments, he felt the fog increasing as his pain was reduced. But it was a relief not to hurt so much. For the moment, he could still think somewhat coherently.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, do you remember me?"

Tim opened his eyes and looked at the doctor.

"I remember your voice... I think."

The doctor smiled.

"Well, you definitely heard me more than saw me. I'm Dr. Crittendon. I'm the physician in charge of your case here at Bethesda."

"Oh. Nice... to meet... you, I guess."

Dr. Crittendon smiled again.

"And you. I must say that you are doing much better than I originally thought you would so soon."

"I don't feel good. Not at all."

"But you're relatively coherent. The head trauma was our biggest worry and it appears that, as the swelling has gone down, you're much more connected. As long as you take your time and follow our schedule, you should hopefully make a full recovery."

"How long?" Tim asked.

His eyelids were getting heavy again. He tried to resist that for the moment. He wanted to get as much information with this waking as he could.

"I'd estimate at least another five weeks for your collarbone to heal. As for the rest of you, we'll start you on some simple PT next week and that will tell us how long you'll need. As you get more able, we'll discharge you and you'll be seen on an outpatient basis but..."

Tim saw Dr. Crittendon look at Ducky who quickly shook his head.

"What?"

"Nothing, Timothy."

"No. That wasn't... nothing... What?" Tim asked.

"Later," Ducky said firmly. "You've had quite enough emotional upset at the moment and you've had enough shocks to your system. Right now, I can tell you're tired. You need to sleep. Everything else will keep until later."

Tim wanted to insist that he needed to know everything right now. He realized that Ducky had never told him who had come into his room before. He wanted to push for more information. He wanted to keep stating that Tony wasn't to blame for what happened. ...whatever had happened. He wanted to shout that they couldn't possibly think that Tony was corrupt.

He wanted to do all of that, but as the painkillers took hold, they seemed to sap all his energy. He slumped down on the bed and couldn't even protest as Ducky helped Dr. Crittendon rearrange him so that he could be as comfortable as possible.

"I know you're worried, Timothy, but we're doing what we can," Ducky said in a low voice. "The best thing for you right now is for you to heal. If you give yourself the time you need, you'll be that much better later. Just rest. Sleep because you need it."

Tim let his eyes close again but he shook his head.

"Can't... let that... stand. Can't do that... Ducky."

"We won't. You can't help right now, Timothy, except by healing. So focus on that."

His tiredness now became outright exhaustion, but still he resisted.

"What... about... Tony?"

"If Anthony is truly alive as you say, he's very resourceful and he will be better served by you letting yourself heal than by you pushing yourself too far."

"What if... this is my fault?"

"It's not."

"Don't know. No one... there but... me... and... and Tony."

"It doesn't matter. It's not your fault."

Ducky's voice was starting to sound like it was coming from a great distance.

"Can't... remember," he whispered.

"It doesn't matter," Ducky said again. "None of it matters right now, Timothy. Just sleep."

He had to. He didn't want to, but Tim just couldn't stay awake any longer. He had to give in to his exhaustion and sleep.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Timmy? Are you awake?"

That was a familiar voice. He tried to wake up, fighting through the fog of painkillers back to the waking world.

Tim opened his eyes just a bit and, as he had thought, there was Abby. She looked very worried, but she smiled when she saw that he was looking at her.

"Oh, Tim. I'm so glad to see you awake!" she said. "Ducky told me very firmly that I can't hug you right now, that it would only make things worse, so I'll just give you a kiss."

She leaned over before Tim could say anything and she kissed him right on the forehead. Great. Now, he probably had lipstick on his head. But still, Tim couldn't help but smile a little.

"Thanks, Abby," he said. "Anyone else coming?"

"Not yet. We're keeping things as quiet as we can right now."

Tim furrowed his brow. Abby wasn't always the clearest about things in the best of circumstances and he definitely wasn't at his best.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Well..."

The door opened and Tim managed to switch his attention from Abby to the door.

"Boss," he said. "Why keeping things quiet?"

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at Abby without speaking. Tim managed to switch his attention again and he saw that Abby looked more than a little sheepish. Perhaps even a bit guilty.

"What's... going on? Why quiet?" he asked again. "It was undercover, but... it's all ruined now... right?"

Gibbs was still being his usual taciturn self, but he walked over to the bed and sat down beside it. Abby took hold of Tim's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"We're trying to keep you out of the public eye, Tim," Gibbs said.

"Me? Why?"

"Because everything was ruined. And Tony's been implicated. That means you are, by default. The less people think about you, the better."

"What?"

"Abby wasn't supposed to say anything until you were better."

"But..." Tim wasn't sure if it was his brain or the situation that was more messed up. "This doesn't make sense."

"I know. It won't for now. Has to stay that way until you're better."

"But..."

"I really miss you at work, Tim," Abby said. "You need to get better. We'll all be better off and then, you can help us, and everything will get back to normal again."

But Tim was not to be distracted by that obvious attempt to change the direction of his thoughts. He kept thinking about what was going on. Who wasn't there besides Tony.

"You haven't... told my family. Or Delilah."

"No."

"Who was here before?" Tim asked, remembering what he'd forgotten before. "The... person who was asking me questions."

"Ensign Reyes' commanding officer. Captain Blaine."

"Boss, what's going to happen?" Tim asked.

"Nothing. You're going to get better and we'll figure it out."

Gibbs was categorical about it, but he always was. Tim was starting to see that there was way more to this than just a failed undercover mission.

He couldn't do anything about it if he didn't recover.

I'll just have to do that as fast as I can, he thought to himself.

He settled back docilely and let Abby start chattering. He could feel Gibbs watching him, as if he was suspicious of this easy capitulation, but he chose to focus on Abby.

He couldn't leave it this way, but he could force himself to get better faster than they thought he could. He'd do it and find Tony, bring him back, and fix things.

Yes, he could do that. He would.