We own not the miraculous works of my hero, C.S. Lewis. Nor the stuff from The Owl And The Pussycat, The Lord of the Rings, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, The Importance of Being Ernest, and Star Wars. See the exceedingly long note at the end of the chapter.
Just then the dinner bell rang, proving Drinian's point and breaking the rummy and embarrassing silence. "Wow. I'm hungry." And with that, Jack inconspicuously ambled toward the ship's galley. Dinner, anywho, was a splendid affair of white wine, pork, and many cheers. Caspian was at the head of the table with Drinian and King Edmund on his right and left. Next to Drinian were a couple of Lords, Jack and then Max. Across from Drinian, and next to Edmund sat Queen Lucy and then Eustace, Reepicheep and one more, the Sailing Master.
"And where are we heading?" asked Edmund.
"Well," said Caspian, "that's a rather long story. Perhaps you remember that when I was a child my unsurping uncle Miraz got rid of seven friends of my father's by sending them off to explore the unknown Eastern Seas beyond the Lone Islands."
"Yes." said Lucy, "and none of them ever came back."
"Right. Well, on my coronation day, with Aslan's approval, I swore an oath that, if once I established peace in Narnia, I would sail east myself for a year and a day to find--"
"But why a year and a day?" Interrupted Jack. "I mean, where'd the one extra day come from!"
"It's like the Owl and the Pussycat." provided Max. "'They sailed away for a year and a day in a beautiful Pea-Green Boat.'" Max quoted and sighed dreamily with her head in her hands.
"EW!" cried Jack. "Pee-Green? Seriously, spare us the graphics!" Max rolled her eyes and Caspian sighed at being interrupted.
"Anyway," continued Caspian, " I swore to find my father's friends or to learn of their deaths and avenge them if I could. These were their names- the Lord Revilian, the Lord Bern, the Lord Argoz, the Lord Mavramorn, the Lord Octesian, the Lord Restimar, and - oh, that other one who's so hard to remember."
"The Lord Rhoop, Sire." Drinian, Max and Jack all said at once. Max sniggered.
"Always wanted to say that." she sniggered again.
"Rhoop, Rhoop, of course," said Caspian. "That is my main intention. But Reepicheep here has an even higher hope." Everyone's eyes turned to the Mouse.
"As high as my spirit, " he said. "Thought perhaps as small as my stature. Why should we not come to the very eastern end of the world? And what might we find there? I expect to find Aslan's own country. It is always from the east, across the sea, that the great Lion comes to us."
"I say, that is an idea," remarked Edmund in an awed voice.
"Yes, and here are some ideas too:" put in Max, "Do Balrogs have wings? What happened to Maglor? Are dragons Maia? Were orcs created of elves or men? Is Celeborn Sindarin or Teleri? How old is Legolas and WHO was his mother?" Jack snorted into her cup, but otherwise, Max was ignored.
"But do you think Aslan's country would be that sort of country - I mean, the sort you could ever sail to?" asked Lucy.
"I do not know, Madam," replied Reepicheep. "But there is this. When I was in my cradle, a wood woman, a Dryad, spoke this verse over me:
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all the seek,
There is the utter east.
"I do not know what it means. But the spell of it has been on me all my life."
After a short silence Lucy asked, "And what of these two?" Here she pointed at Jack and Max. Everyone stopped what they were doing. Drinian, who was about to take another bite, slowly put down his fork and glanced at Caspian. Caspian returned the glance, put his elbows on the table, (much to the dismay of Jack) and folded his arms, leaning on the table importantly. Jack and Max started to look very uncomfortable.
"Well," started Caspian cautiously, looking at the girls. Everyone could see he was choosing his words carefully, not to tread on dangerous ground. "No completely accurate information has arisen yet, of the origin of these two. But we found them drifting haphazardly in the middle of the ocean, between The Seven Isles and our current position, which is a day and a half from the Lone Islands." Here Caspian stopped and looked very hard at the girls who were avoiding his gaze.
"It's a lengthy wearisome account," said Jack, after a short pause. "But fundamentally, we are from your world," she looked at Lucy and Edmund. "And we are uh...writing a book...that will have... stuff in it...and…"
"We are compiling versatile bits of information on tramping around in other worlds," supported Max enthusiastically. "Yeah! And it's called The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy." Jack had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep from erupting in laughter. She concealed a giggle with a staged sneeze.
"God bless you," blessed Max, looking truly concerned. "Perhaps you should go lie down. It would be frightful to catch cold while composing a book. It entirely puts a damper on one's writing panache, does it not?"
"Oh I'll be fine," replied Jack, waving away the sneeze.
"So you've been to other worlds-I mean, besides this one?" inquired Lucy.
"Oh, yeah. Loads of times." Jack nodded a few times to emphasize the validity of this statement. "Yes. And we have learned, in all our travels, the most essential lesson-- the vital importance of being Ernest." It was Max's turn to try very hard not to laugh.
"Here, here!" Chimed the sailing master, moved by Jack's brisk but impressive speech. "To the importance of being earnest!" He lifted his wine glass, and everyone followed suit and echoed, "The importance of being earnest!" and downed a mouthful of wine. Max and Jack both exhaled a sigh of relief as the topic changed to what had happened so far on the Dawn Treader.
"That was close," muttered Max to Jack.
"Too close," replied Jack, who caught Eustace staring at them as if he didn't believe a word they said. She grinned at him, raised her glass, nodded, and took another swig.
"I still want a duel," sighed Max.
"Don't be silly." Jack began laughing, which interrupted Caspian telling about the tournament in Galma.
"But I do!" protested Max.
"But you wouldn't want to kill anyone," pointed out Jack.
"Well, that's what the flat of a sword it for!" Max got a little bit louder, which made Caspian raise his voice. The Lord and the sailing master who were sitting on both sides of Jack and Max, were appalled at the thought of these mere girls actually beating each other up with the flats of swords.
Nonetheless the Lord offered, "I am sure Caspian wouldn't mind having a duel at sunrise. You could borrow swords."
"Sunrise?" cried Max as she and Jack burst into laughter, which made Caspian get even louder with his speech.
"No good duel is done in the light," explained Jack between laughter, "It's better in pitch black, or blindfolded."
"With all kinds of things strewn on the floor," put in Max.
"Without seeing?" asked Eustace, who was more interested in a sword fight than the pirate ship the Dawn Treader encountered. "Can you do that?"
"What kind of Master would I be if I couldn't! What kind of Jedi?" ranted Jack as though everyone should know.
"Jedi?" asked the Lord.
"Yes Jedi. You know lightsaber, brown robes, Yoda, the force, the whole shebang," explained Max, who was met with blank looks.
"Apparently they are clueless," whispered Jack.
"Jedi. You know. We protect the galaxy from uber baddies." More blank stares. This conversation died, the girls decided, and so they continued eating. Caspian had raised his voice to an all-time high, almost a shout, while talking about Redhaven. Reepicheep had to plug his ears and Caspian didn't notice that he was the only one talking and that there wasn't any reason to shout.
He said, "The sum is now nearly thirty days at sea and we have sailed more than four hundred leagues from Narnia!" then it got very quiet, Caspian looked around and blushed.
A/N: Yes, I know, not as entertaining, but the next chapter will be grand, hopefully. Holy Mother of Legolas and all things Orcish! Dude. We thank you all so much for reviewing! This chapter is DEDICATED to Max's Jedi Master, Rusco, better known as AgentRuscoBombadillo ( http/ ) for editing. Check out her stupendously funny and random crossover Great Scot!
Catchcat : Aw. Thanks. I know, I love random humor! You should read Cristi The Banjo Picking One Eyed Dog's fridden HEElarious storys, It Had to Be Done, and Cripes! Not Again!
Reepicheep: What is awful? My breath? Well, that's because I just ate garlic toast. heheh.
AgentRuscoBombadillo: You, my Master, are a wonderful person. For leaving CONSTRUCTIVE reviews and for editing endlessly. Well, not endlessly. Amazing. Simply Amazing. So Amazingly Amazing that I just might have to hijack you. Just like I did to Glorfie. Only this time I will feed you and not leave you under my bed.
Jack: I love you. That's it. Keep writing and DON'T loose your muse. I will have Gandalf hunt you down and torture the story out of you. J/k. Or am I?
Queen Peter: Hey, thank you! And I did smooth out those rough edges, with the help of Rusco, my lovely Master.
Sarah: HARRY! Thanks. Really. But it was just a TINY tiny reference to Lord of the Rings. I still don't understand why you hate it so much, but ACH. Keep up the kickboxing/wrestling class. wink
Wally: Well, I am sure Jack loves you too, older sister of Jack? Hmm. Thanks for alla reviews. You are right, Tara is absolutely mad as a bicycle (in a good NZish way). heheh.
Samantha: Your reviews are much appreciated! "I always thought Caspian was blonde... and Drinian was dark... Doesn't matter, each is a babe." snort AHHAHAHA! That is pretty-much-amazing.
NEXT UP: A DUEL! And the Lone Islands!