Chapter 2

They go to the hospital

Jack

Carolyn

Sarah

OK, Carolyn, we are here, just give me a minute! Sarah, why are you here so early, how did it go with Carolyn.That is why I am here so early I have to talk to you in your office. Why what happen to her? I need you to stay calm and let me finish ok, if you don't I won't tell you, do you understand? Yes, I understand, you are scaring me, Sarah! I am sorry for yelling.No, after I tell you that's all you will want to do. Ok, so Richard raped her, she didn't want to even come here because she thought you would have told her that you were right for acting the way that you did. I had to beg her for me to even dress her injuries!My God, Sarah, I failed her, if she had to have thought I would tell her that, what do you mean her injuries, what happened?Jack, he was an animal, her dress was torn, bruising on her thighs, blood, she even vomited when I asked was she knocked out. She said she must have been because she told me when she woke up he was gone and she felt pain. Oh God Sarah, what do I do, how do I help her, I want to kill that bastard, I know I can't, or else I will be found guilty. Can I see her?I don't know Jack I have to ask her and I want to kill him too. Don't get mad if she won't see you yet, I got her to promise to not shower until she got properly checked out. She is in the car right now. Thank you, Sarah, is there anything I can do?Yes, bring me a rape kit, I need a private location and tell her niece Anna.She didn't tell you, Anna is our daughter, I don't think I could make myself tell my child their mother got raped by a monster!Oh, Jack, I am so sorry she didn't tell me, if I had known I would not have mentioned it!It's ok you had no idea, I will find a private room and that kit, and please tell her I love her and it was not her fault.Of course!

Carolyn, I handled it, he was mad, not at you he told me to tell you it is not your fault and that he loves you! Now it is time to get you properly looked at ok?Ok, how did he take did he tell you it wasn't my fault, how was his face while saying it?Oh God Sarah, he looked so hurt he said he failed you for you to even think of telling that he was right! He wants to kill him as do I, but he knows he can't. He wants to see you but only if you want to.Ok, maybe after I get looked at, I can't have him look at me right now, all ugly! Can you maybe tell my mother I am in the hospital I just need someone to know?Ok, I can do that, do you want me to tell her why? Oh, God no not right now! I am so scared of her knowledge, what if she blames me for it. She had blamed me for less stuff in the past, I feel I disappoint her!Oh, Carolyn, she won't she loves you! But I understand, Jack found us a room and gave us a rape kit. I need you to go to the bathroom and pee in this cup for me while I talk to Jack, don't worry it is a private room you won't be disturbed. Ok, thank you.

Ok, it is done, how is she can I see her? Yes, just not during the examination. Why, I want to comfort her while she is in pain, to let her know that I am there for her! I know Jack, but she said she doesn't want you to see her ugly, I feel that you will have to be gentle with her unless she tells you otherwise, she might fight you because of what happened to her. Damn it, he turned her from a woman who loved herself to a scared puppy. Please, help her Sarah she needs someone that she can believe that it wasn't her fault because I have a feeling that she doesn't believe me! Another thing, what's her relationship like with Elisabeth? She wants me to call her and tell her that she is in the hospital but not tell her why. She is scared that she will blame her that she had been blamed for less. The relationship is rocky, mostly because when she had Anna, Elisabeth told her that George and his wife would raise it as their's and that Carolyn wasn't ready to be a mother. Oh, God that is cruel, I don't think I could even call her now, knowing what I know! I have to get back to her, I will come back for you to see her! Thank you so much, Sarah!

(Knock) It's me, Sarah, may I come in Carolyn? Yes, you can. What did he say when I told him I couldn't see him during the examination? He got upset, said that he wanted to comfort you, to tell you that he loves you and that he is there for you. He also said that you need someone that you know will believe that it wasn't your fault because you don't believe him. Oh, God Sarah, he loves me and I am just causing him pain, how can he still love me knowing what happened! How is he not disgusted, maybe he will when he sees me! Maybe he won't love me anymore! What if I can't be with him for a long time, what if he gets impatient. Oh, Carolyn, he loves you, and let's take one step at a time you have to get healed before you can even think about that stuff. Now did you pee in the cup? Yes, I did, it burned though, I think I also bled during it. Ok, you might have an infection or it can just be due to how violent he was being with you. Ok, this time I need you to take off your clothes and put on this gown, I will turn around to give you some privacy. OK. (She takes off her clothes puts on the gown, gets on the bed, and pulls the covers up ashamed)

Carolyn, I am going to need you to put your legs in these stirrups so I can get a closer look at you. Like I said you are in control, you tell me if it gets too much or too painful ok?Ok, thank you. I have to tell you something embarrassing.What is it Carolyn I promise you to have nothing to be embarrassed about, are you feeling pain somewhere else? ( She shakes her head in shock). Sarah, how did you know? Was I that obvious?No, let's just say I understand what you are going through.What do you mean you have been through this? Not this exactly but I have been made to feel ashamed, ugly worthless. Now, what part is hurting you? It is my ass, it hurt when I sat down, I can't remember if he also hurt me where I blacked out, or just can't remember, can you check?Oh God, Carolyn, I am so sorry, thank you for telling me! I have to get you the after pill and STD tests! (Carolyn vomits, crying in pain, Sarah grabs a bucket). Would you like anything for the pain?Please if you could, and I am so tired!Ok, I will be quick! ( She gets water and tests and pain meds). Ok, Carolyn, I am back, here.Thank you, Sarah, I think I am ready now.Ok, as I said spread your legs into the stirrups. Now I will be swabbing again to make sure I didn't forget anything. Ok? Ok, stop! It hurts, I am sorry!No, Carolyn, I am sorry. Do you want me to do this later, give you a moment to calm down? If you could, thank you.No problem I just need you to take these, so you could sleep.Thank you! Do you still want to see Jack? Yes, but do you think he will be mad that I couldn't do the test?Absolutely, not you are in pain! Ok, could you stay with me, please?Ok, I just want to tell Jack what happened, ok?OK.

Sarah how did it go, does she still want to see me? She was in too much pain, she couldn't do it I decided to give her some time to herself. She asked, would you be mad that she couldn't do it, I told her no that she was in pain! Also, she told me how could you still love her, that you won't love her after you see her, that you will be disgusted when you see her. That she is scared that you will lose patients about how long she is taking to be intimate with her. I told her that you love her and one step at a time. Oh God, Sarah what does one say to that, she must be so scared, embarrassed, and in pain. What do I do to help her Sarah, I love her so much! She is an amazing, beautiful, compassionate woman. We have to get her to see herself like that again. I have something else to tell you. You might want to take a seat for this. She just told me that she had pain while urinating, I did see some trauma to her rectum. I was going to bring it up but she did that herself. (Jack vomits). Wait, during what events were she knocked out for? From what it seems, her body shut down during her anal rape because she had no recollection until she had just told me now. I have a feeling it will be bits and pieces Jack. Oh my God, Sarah, she is so strong, I think I am ready to see her, do you think you can come with me I want her to be as comfortable as can be. How ironic because that is exactly what she asked me. Ok, let's go, just remember to let her do the talking and let her be in control of what goes on.