We own not the miraculous works of my hero, C.S. Lewis. Nor Lord of the Rings, Sponge Bob(Thank God!) The Princess Bride, The In-Laws, or Star Wars. or Little Women. DING DING DING! Catchcat wins the 40th review game! Three cheers: Hip, hip...Hurrah. Hip, hip...Hurrah. Hip, hip...HUZZAH! This chapter is dedicated to Catchcat! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, you are so kind. There was something else I was going to say...but I forgot it. Le sigh.

Two and a half weeks had passed and it was torture, mostly. All they did was eat at Bern's, have a feast on the ship, buy supplies, talk to "Ye Olde Tars", as Max named them, and have picnics. Max and Jack's patients began to run thin. Anorexic thin. Actually, Jack's was expired and Max merely thought it sounded virtuous to let hers depart.

"If we're not carful," warned Jack one afternoon in a giant field, on yet another picnic with various authoritative Lords, "we'll turn into fat hippie landlubbers." Max was lying next to her, wiggling a long piece of grass at the sky with her mouth. She was drawing pictures of Sauron wearing Sponge Bob's square pants in the clouds with it.

"Yes. We need to get outta here." she agreed around the grass.

"If only that brainless, foolish, narking, wet-blanket-Caspi–" Jack interrupted herself by letting off a strong shriek and leaping up and brushing herself off desperately. Half of the men jumped up and drew their swords in a panic. Jack started hopping around, as if she was trying not to step on something.

"What!" cried Caspian. "What is it?" Jack just squealed again and pointed at the ground. Max found the menace.

"Stop!" Max commanded. "You're going to squish him!" She dove at Jack's feet, trying to save the terror. Max stood up, victorious, with a tremendous grin and something wriggling in her hands. She held it up and Jack squeaked afresh and backed up quickly.

"Put it down!" She commanded. The swordsmen sheathed their swords with a huff, rolling their eyes, grumbling, and cursing.

"No! You're scaring him! Isn't she, little guy?" she pulled her hands close to her face and kissed the squirming figure. Jack almost retched.

"Do you realize how nasty and germy that thing is? You are going to die of lizard poisoning!" Max looked skeptical. "You're eyeballs are going to explode, you are going to have tremendous heart burn, blisters and colossal hang nails! Your vital fluids are going to leak out your ears and nose and your heart will slowly, slowly stop beating, until you DIE!" Jack wailed melodramatically and then clapped a hand to her heart, as if she were catching an invisible arrow as it impaled her, and keeled over, straight backed, into the long tufts of grass.

"My, you have a way with words."

"Thank you." Jack took the compliment lying down.

"But it's a gecko. A leopard gecko." Max corrected and continued. " I wonder: What is a Gecko doing in the middle of a field?"

"Does it matter? Just put it down!"

"No. I'm keeping him."

"What?"

"I'm keeping him and I'm naming him...Terrence."

"You'll do no such thing."

"What? I like that name. Don't make fun of his name!" Max pulled Terrence protectively against her chest.

"NO! I meant that you are not keeping that!" Jack pointed with two fingers at Terrence, as she usually did when she was in a huff.

"Yes I am, grandma." The argument continued until Jack finally relented and they both sat back down in the field with a big huff.

"We have to get off this Island." Jack decided out loud, and they began to devise a plan. Max, being the wonderful master mind, (she read it in a book once) suggested drugging Caspian's drink. Jack, loving this ingenious project, agreed whole-heartedly. Together Max and Jack and their evil chemistry brains came up with a sleeping draft, and tested it on the ROUS. Jack cackled viciously when it succeeded, but said that she would have to make a few adjustments. Max ended up deciding to give it to Reep for the rest of the week and they blamed it on him being under-the-weather with Wet Bone.

Max had gathered a ton of mealy-worms and crickets for Terrence, but she still didn't know how to keep him from running away. For now, he perched on her shoulders and the back of her neck, where it was warm. She loved the way his tiny toenails tickled her lightly and his soft, cool tummy rested on her neck. His skin was yellowish with black spots all over, and he was about seven inches from tip to tail. Jack had a complete aversion to him, still, and kept as far away from him as possible.

Eustace, however, liked him. In fact, that very day, he knocked sheepishly on the door of the room Max and Jack were staying in, with a present for Max and her new pet. When Max opened the door she looked very suspicious to Eustace. She wore this weird face that he could name 'I-am-doing-something-bad-am-I-getting-caught?'and she slipped out of the door and only left a crack of it open behind her, She was looking around warily. (This was when they were brewing the concoction in their room).

Eustace ignored the fact that he knew that Max and Jack were up to something, silently and quickly hoped that he was not the butt of whatever cruel joke that was about to be played, and held up a crude, homemade-looking cage. It was a wooden cube with two sides of metal mesh (where the heck did he get that?), and a small hole, just big enough for Terrence to fit through, with a small, circular, swinging, door. It was blinking perfect.

"Eustace! Where...how did you... I didn't even... you, I..." Max exclaimed with extreme eloquence and articulance. Eustace was already wondering if this wasn't such a good idea, after all. He didn't really care for giving presents. He averted his eyes.

"I bought it at the village." Eustace cut to the chase. He was blushing furiously and rubbing his hand in his hair nervously. He hated this. Now she would get all mushy.

"Oh, Eustace! Thank you! He'll love it!" Max nearly tackled Eustace. Point proven. So he did what he does best: he spouted off random facts to make other people look stupid.

"It's a she. Terrence is fully-grown and males get a whole lot bigger." Eustace sneered.

Just then, there was a loud popping explosion-y sound and a yell from Jack inside. Max jumped at the noise and Eustace tried to get a look behind Max but she grabbed the cage and dashed back inside yelling,

"Thanks Eustace!" and with that, the door slammed in his face. Eustace walked stiffly away scowling and muttering to himself.

Later that week, in the evening, Jack, with her perfected vile of sleeping draft, found Caspian out on Bern's veranda with a glass of wine. Perfect. She ambled over to him and leaned on the railing, inches from his cup.

"It's nice just to escape, from all your responsibilities and go somewhere peaceful," Caspian said with a sigh.

"I agree, sometimes life is demanding. Okay so it isn't exactly life, but the Jedi Council," Jack said racking her brain for a way to make him look in a different direction than his cup.

"Huh? The what?" Caspian had heard Jack and Max speak of this Council, but he still didn't know what it was.

"The Jedi Council, the group of old guys that send Orin and I off to, well, whatever place needs saving at the moment," she began.

"Orin?"

"Yeah, this guy that just travels around with me and together we save people." she explained. "Anyway, it's crazy sometimes, but you can always come back to the temple and wander the gardens in peace. It is refreshing to walk among the fountains and waterfalls."

"Sounds nice," said Caspian as he took a sip of his drink and set it down on his other side.

"I've always thought so," she replied eyeing his cup. He is not going to make this easy. As Jack tried to reformulate her plan, Max's head popped up from a bush. Jack immediately got an idea. She threw Max the vile, and Max caught on.

"Do you have a place like that back at Cair Paravel?" She stepped back so he would have to turn around to see her.

Caspian did so and began gassing on about Narnia, all the while Jack tried not to look at Max. Though Max was tallish she was on her tiptoes to pour the vile into the drink. After what seemed like minuets, Max shrunk back into the bushes. Just in time for Caspian to turn for another drink.

"It is far to stuffy in there,"Jack put her hand against her forehead, "In fact I feel a bit faint, perhaps I will go to the ship and lie down."

"I will assist you," said Caspian offering her his arm. Jack took it and together they walked to the ship. Max had sprinted to the ship, and was waiting on deck.

"Oh, are you well?" Max said dramatically taking Jack's hand.

"Perhaps you can assist her to your cabin," said Caspian.

Around deck there were unnumerable amounts of sailors, if Caspian passed out here it would not look good. So Jack did the first thing she could think of; she swooned.

"What happened?" Max said in the most mortified tone that the moment would allow.

"She just fainted," Caspian said, talking very slowly as if Max were a very small child.

"I know that,"Max snapped, "Carry her down stairs."

Caspian picked Jack up and followed Max. When Caspian entered he found Reepicheep asleep on a hammock, "What is he doing here?"

"Um," stammered Max, Why isn't he passing out? "He's got the dreaded wet bone, didn't you hear?"

"The what?" Caspian said as he laid Jack down and then staggered back, "I feel a bit light headed."

"Perhaps you should sit down," suggested Max, but Caspian immediately keeled over and fell to the floor.

Jack jumped up, "I thought he might pass out and drop me."

Max sighed, "I wish I were the swooning type." As she said this she dramatically raised her hand to her forehead and fell forward towards Jack.

"I wish I were the catching type," said Jack as she stepped aside, letting Max fall right on top of Caspian, "He's a purdy good catcher though."

Jack and Max walked on deck with almost a skip in their steps. There stood Drinian who waved them down.

"Where is Caspian?" he asked.

Max cleared her throat, "He isn't feeling well, but he wants us to leave. ASAP."

"APSP?" Drinian was perplexed.

"As Soon As Possible, ASAP," explained Max in a frustrating tone, getting Caspian in the hammock was frustrating enough.

"Hmm, very good, I shall speak with him," said Drinian.

"You could, if you wanted to wake up his Royal Majesty," pointed out Jack.

"Well," Drinian coughed. The thinking-cough. "I suppose I shall get everyone ready. If he wakes, tell him we can be out by tomorrow evening."

"Will do, Drinny Poo," said Max as she turned to walk below.

"Drinny Poo?" said Drinian.

Jack laughed and followed her friend below. "Kind-a-like Quiggie-Poo!"