Chapter 3
Jack
Ok, Carolyn, I have Jack with me, we are coming in! Just a moment! You can come in! (Carolyn gives them a shy smile). Hey beautiful, how are you feeling. I think I am ok, Do you still believe I am beautiful after everything that happened to me? Jack, you haven't even seen what was done to me! Ask Sarah, I still haven't seen my own body because of the shame I feel that I can even stand to see my own body! Caro, please calm down, I don't want you to get sick! (He goes to touch her, she freaks out and starts sobbing saying don't touch me). (Jack, starts crying, looks to Sarah as in a way of what do I do?)
Carolyn, it is me, Sarah, you are safe now, no one will hurt you. Do you know where you are? Yes, I am in a hospital room. Can you tell me what you are seeing right now? I am seeing myself being raped by Richard. Carolyn I am going to ground you, ok? Tell me 5 things you can see. I see Jack, you, the bed, the clock, my hand. Ok, you are doing a great job. Now, 4 things you can feel. My heart in my ears, pain, fear, love. Ok, 3 things you can hear. I hear crying, my heart pounding, and yelling in my head. Good, now 2 things you can smell. I smell vomit and blood. Now 1 thing you can taste. Whisky. Ok, now Carolyn do you know who I am and who this is? You are Sarah Adams a nurse at this hospital, that is my boyfriend Jack Duncan a doctor at this hospital. Yes, seems to me we got you back.
May I ask where did you just go now Caroyln? I was back at my house being hurt. I am sorry for going back there, I got scared. Carolyn, what scared you, was it, Jack? (Carolyn furiously shakes her head). Not him really, he just reminded me of what happened because he was angry like the person was when I was being hurt. (Both Sarah and Jack are happy and sad). Oh, honey Jack wasn't mad he was worried because you were getting yourself worked up. Do you think he could stand next to you right now? Yes but he has to promise to be quiet, my head is hurting me right now. (Carolyn looks at Jack waiting for his response). I promise Caro, I am so sorry for scaring you. Can I hold your hand? (Carolyn hesitates so looks up to Sarah, she nods). Ok just be gentle, please. Of course, I won't hurt you. (Jack holds her hand, he starts to softly cry). Jack why are you crying did I do something wrong? (Jack looks at Sarah confused, she gives him a look of sympathy). Carolyn, do you know what happened to you last night? (Very calmly) Yes, I was raped. Carolyn, are you feeling numb right now? I think so, I think I want to do the exam right now. Ok. Would you like Jack with you? Yes but I don't want him to see me. Can you put a curtain up so he doesn't see me? Of course. Jack, yes, Carolyn? I am sorry, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just this is a different body that you would be seeing. Are you mad? Of course not Carolyn, if it makes you comfortable I will do whatever you want. Thank you, Jack!
Sarah goes to find a blocker
Ok, Carolyn, I am back, now before we start do you have any questions? Yes, can you tell me what is going to happen before you do it? Of course, I am going to swab your mouth for saliva, if you could open please. (Swabs). Then, I will need some blood (whispers in Carolyn's ear would you like Jack to go get the needle?) Yes please, I don't want you to leave, I love Jack but I can't be around any man alone right now, is that bad of me? No, Carolyn, he said it himself whatever makes you comfortable. I will just be in front of the curtain. Jack, I need you to get all the materials, ok? Yes, Sarah is she ok? She is scared Jack, I will explain it later Jack, knock when you come back. Ok.
Ok, Carolyn are you still with me? Yes, how long will it take 2-4 hours. I am sorry Carolyn, it might take longer. (Knock). It's me can I come in? Yes, honey, you can. Thank you, Jack. ( He goes to sit on the chair behind the curtain.) Ok, now I have your arm Carolyn, I need to take some blood. Since you already peed we can cross that off the list. Now I to take samples of your hair, I will have to pull it by hand. I am sorry. Then I will have to swab your anal area for trauma. How will you do that? I will need you to remove your undergarments, and lay on your back with your feet in the stirrups. Do you have to do the anal area I am embarrassed as it is? No, I will not do it if you don't want me to? Thank you. So just the vaginal swabbing then, feet in the stirrups please lay back on the bed. Ok. (Carolyn dissociates from what is going on). Ok, Carolyn, can you give me your hands I need to clip them and check for dirt? Here you go Sarah, are we almost done I feel like I will pass out at any time? Yes, we are done Carolyn you can sleep, I and Jack will let you sleep we are just outside the door if you need anything don't hesitate to press the button. Ok, thank you.
Sarah what happened in there, who was that she was crying then very calm the next moment. What you saw was her having a flashback and me grounding her back to the present. What you saw after that was her body being numb so she could take the test. Also like I had said, you will have to be patient and gentle with her because I don't think she has completely processed what happened to her. She proved to me she had dissociated most if not all the aspects of the rape so she could be safe. Jack, I can't tell you how long it will take for her to process it but I truly believe that because she has you that will be a major help. She acted like a child, like she didn't know that what happened was serious, when she saw me crying and asked if she had done anything wrong, I wanted to hold her and never let her go! I understand that Jack I do, completely. ( They hear screaming and pleas to stop in Carolyn's room). They go back to see her having a nightmare. Richard, please stop, I love Jack, please stop you are hurting me. (Then quiet). (Knock) Carolyn, it's me, Sarah, may I come in? (Tearfully) Yes, Sarah but slowly please and can you turn on the light, please? Of course, are you in the present right now? Yes. Carolyn, can I touch you, maybe hug you? Please. Carolyn, it's ok you are safe now. Do you maybe want to talk about it now? Please, don't make me think about it now, I can't go back! It's okay. Do you think Jack can come, I promise that he will be quiet? Ok. (Sarah talks to Jack). You have to be quiet Jack, can't go scaring her again. Ok, he is here Sweetie. Hi Caro, how are you feeling? Tired, pain, scared, tainted. Sarah, can I get cleaned now? Of course, I will get something for the pain as well. Carolyn, are you still in pain to shower, or how do you want to get clean? Sarah, I am in so much pain, I guess I will have to take a sponge bath.
Time-Lapse
Carolyn went back to the hospital bed, (sees Jack). Hi, Caro, how are you feeling, I am feeling tired and in pain. Jack, could you please hold me if that's not too much? Caro, are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Yes, it is ok, here lay on your back and I will put my head on your chest, so that way I won't feel trapped, ok? Ok, whatever you want. ( Carolyn, starts crying, and her body starts shaking). Caro, what's happening right now? Oh, Jack, I am so sorry, you were right about- (Jack cuts her off). Carolyn Bligh, don't you dare finish your sentence! (Carolyn tenses up at him yelling, he notices this). I am sorry for yelling. ( He starts to let her go, but she holds on to him). Don't let go! But Jack it is my fault, I allowed him to be in my house alone. I was to stupid think that a man like that would like to just help me!
It is not your fault, you didn't want any of this, you said no! You fought back you have the scars to prove it. I am just so sorry that you had to have that happen to your love. Sarah didn't know that Anna was our daughter and was going to call her. Why didn't you tell her she was our baby? I don't know Jack, but she can't know at least not yet, please?! Ok, Caro, another thing Sarah said was that you wanted her to call your mother but not tell her what happened. Did she tell you the reason? (Looking scared at Jack). Yes, she did, she said that you don't think that your mom would believe you. How could you think for one second that your mom wouldn't believe you? Jack, please I don't want to burden her, she has enough on her plate with Regina, what if this makes her heart even worse. Carolyn, how long do you want to wait to tell her?