A/N. This is a very strange chapter. And I mean strange. Tell me what you think. Dude-man-bro! So many reviews! 56 right now. That's the most I've gotten. Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much for reviewing. And I am really sorry about the looong wait for this chapter. I am going out of town for a while so don't worry when I don't post for another loooong time.

Oh, and I don't own The Chronicles of Narnia, Star Wars, Bonjovi, or The Princess Bride. But I do own my camo-black, three-barreled-rifle, Nina, edition three, used for hunting Carabao in Florida. It's mine. My own. Don't take it. I luff it.

Please keep reviewing!

Oh, and P.P.S. don't take those last comments about other fanfictions being horrible, personally. We make all of our characters emotionally unstable and this story, if you haven't already noticed, is very shallow and has nothing to do with C.S. Lewis's deeper meanings. Yeah.

REVIEW!

As the Dawn Treader slowly but steadily neared the great mountain of an Island the excitement mounted, and by September 11th, the sailors were nearly always storming about in a huff and generally pretending to be doing something important. Caspian, after his major breakdown, was nearly always grinning and mumbling incoherently under his breath. They could now see the shoreline under a eyeglass.

When morning came with a low, grey sky, but very hot, the adventurers found they were in a bay encircled by such cliffs and crags that it was like a Norwegian fjord. In front of then, at the head of the bay, there was some level land heavily overgrown with trees that appeared to be cedars, through which a rapid stream came out. Beyond that was a steep ascent ending in a jagged ridge and behind that a vague darkness of mountains which ran into dull-colored clouds so that you could not see their tops. The whole place was very silent and the water of the bay was smooth as glass. It reflected every detail of the cliffs. The scene would have been pretty in a picture, but was rather oppressing in real life. It was not a country that welcomed visitors.

Max and Jack could just make out huge letters, written it seemed in the side of the cliff. They were, by now, not allowed a monocle to look closer because Jack had already dropped two of Caspian's finest and Max had broken one by using it as a 'gun'.

"It's a camo-black, three-barreled-rifle, Nina, edition three, used for hunting Caribou in Florida!" she promogulated loudly at Drinian who told her to be extra-careful with his eyeglass.

Max had horrible eyesight and always squinted, but Jack said, "If you squint your eyes REALLY hard like this," she gave a demonstration and looked like she was trying to play copy-cat with a constipated bull dog, "it kinda looks like it says 'coffee'."

"Coffee?" Max was astounded. She looooved coffee!

"Coffee." Jack corroborated with a nod.

Eustace skillfully jabbed his way into the conversation. "What kind of madman would put the word 'coffee' on a cliff wall in Narnia?" Eustace raised his eyebrows and looked smug at his apparent attempt to sound well-groomed and smart.

Jack gave him her famous 'duh-you-deranged-psychopath' look.

"This isn't Narnia. Narnia stopped after the Lone Islands. This is Dragon Island."

Ooooo! Shut-Down!

Max and Jack dramatized high-fives, much to the vexation of Eustace, who was already vexed at being outflanked with ecumenical cognition of localization.

The whole ship's company went ashore in two boat loads and everyone drank and washed deliciously and had a meal and a rest under the shade of the cedars. On land it was perfectly clear that the word on the cliff read, "HELP!" (not "Coffee.") in ginormous clear, nearly audible letters.

Max felt as though she only rested a moment when she heard a voice that distinctly reminded her of Tarzan — a kind of adolescent-voice-changing-yodel. She sat up, just as everyone else turned apprehensively toward where the racket was coming from: the inland of the island, in the trees. Everyone began wondering if the Island did not have natives after all. A moment later, a pink beam of light could be seen though the shadows of the great cedars, bowling though the trees, rapidly coming towards the party.

That was when everyone started panicking. There came shouts from the group somewhat tantamount to, "We'll never survive!"– "Nonsense. You only say that because nobody ever has." — "What devilry is this?" — "Ah, here they come." — "Ai! Fell Beast!" Every prepared quickly for an ambush as a figure, who decidedly belonged to the Tarzan-yodel, barreled into broad daylight with a crazed look in his eye.

The yodeling suddenly aborted as the yodeler flattened into the sand, face down, panting like a beetle. However, there wasn't silence. Next they could hear a young female's voice carrying on a conversation very loudly and in English.

She was announcing that, "You'd be surprised at how tough a buffalo is! I mean, Thomas Jefferson might even have a spot of trouble ridding and staying on one for a whole half an hour!"

At the mention of "half an hour" two, much smaller figures stepped casually into the sunlight and efficiently identified themselves as girls by shrieking at the sight of all the people they apparently hadn't noticed before. Of course the shrieking unceremoniously stamped those present out of a stupor of total shock and induced a loud, long howling from absolutely everyone. The noise was deafening.

Well absolutely everyone was yelling except the yodeler, but he doesn't count because he jumped up and skipped, literally skipped, over to the two shrieking girls (not Jack and Max this time), and stuffed their heads in his armpits to stifle their racket. They fought berserkly, but he did not yield. Instead he just grinned and stuck out one of his hands to cover Max's mouth and then kicked the nearest man, which just happened to be our beloved Drinian.

That shut everyone up.

Jack, ever the logical one, was first to recognized the three strangers. "Obi-Two Bonjovi?" She smiled slowly and slapped him on the back. "And I suspect these are your two Padawans, Manikin and Chase?"

"You know these people?" Caspian asked Jack, who ignored him.

Obi-Two Bonjovi nodded gleefully. "Oh yes, you could say I train them in the arts of x-box and kick-boxing with a little tickle-torture on the side. This is Manikin Guystalker," he let an incredibly white-haired girl emerge from his armpit. She looked a bit nauseous and red-faced. "And this is Chase Fondu." He didn't let Chase go so she reached around with a free hand and pinched his popo as hard as she could. He yelped and dropped Chase who was laughing like a maniac. Chase had light brown hair and freckles.

Max looked incredulous. She was also inarticulate at that moment. "What...how did you...why are you...who sent...whaaaaa..."

Manikin cringed. "We would prefer you not to use that word. It creeps me out."

Max's eyes got really big as she thought hard at what she said. "What word?"

"Hormones." Manikin shivered as she said it.

"But I didn't—"

"TRAINING TIME!" Obi-Two Bonjovi bellowed.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Manikin and Chase started sprinting and screaming in two different directions. Bonjovi was strong in the force and Manikin and Chase found themselves tied to trees and blindfolded in a blink of an eye.

He then brought out his bow and a couple of plungers. Manikin had stopped screaming but Chase hadn't and was making enough noise to wake my Great Aunt Tiva, who died in a deer accident last year. Manikin had stopped to stare at Quin's pants, after she used the force to remove the dirty sock that was being used as a blind fold.

"Ew." She groaned. "Your pants are way too short. That's disgusting. If you had socks on, I would actually be able to see them." Quin looked down at his ankles and shrugged.

"Silence, my young Padawans." Obi-Two retied the sock. "Catch the plunger you must. One word out of either of you and you'll both have cold showers for a month!" Obi-Two started giggling as he strung a plunger on the bow and aimed, as if it were an arrow. Both of the girls were screaming and trying to shield their faces.

He missed the first time and started laughing like a hyena.

He was only two feet away from his target.

He strung the second and fired at Chase. It hit her stomach and dropped. She tried to catch it a few moments too late and started chuckling instead of screaming.

"HAHA! Use the, hahah, use the force, precious, hahahah!" He skipped over to the two fallen plungers and scooped them up.

Obi-Two Bonjovi skipped over to Max and started shaking her. Max looked at him and started laughing. Bonjovi shook her harder but then it wasn't Bonjovi, it was Jack now. Suddenly Max was aware of a loud noise coming from a long way off. It was like laughter but it was warped and was too loud to be coming from anyone nearby. Suddenly a curtain whooshed aside and Max found herself lying down under one of the giant trees. Jack, Edmund, Lucy, and Eustace were, strangely enough, looking down at her and laughing their heads off. Max blinked.

Whoah.

"You were talking in your sleep! It was, haha, it was the funniest thing ever!" Edmund managed to splutter between fits of laughter.

"You said, and I quote, 'Training Time! Nooo. Not the plungers! noooooooo.' And you started laughing and screaming. Some of the sailors thought you were possessed!" Jack giggled.

"Hahah! 'Catch the plungers, you must!'" Lucy did a perfect imitation of Max which gained some more gales of laughter.

"It was pathetic, really." Eustace announced.

"Shut up, fool." Jack poked Eustace in the eye.

"Ow!"

"Alright, everyone. Please pay heed to your tasks and meet back here for supper." Caspian bossed and perambulated away to do something, presumably, more important.

Jack helped Max up smiling. "Caspian told us to go look for something to make dinner with, preferably meat. Perhaps you could bring along that three-barreled rifle of yours." Max snorted, nodded and yawned. "You have to admit," continued Jack, "that was pretty funny."

"Yeah. I guess. It was the weirdest dream in the history of my weirdest dreams."

"What happened?"

— — — — —

Jack and Max, after a hefty helping of wild goat sat on the beach making a sand castle, or Fortress Europe as they called it. Max said, "Where's Eustace?"

Everyone kept eating assuming that he would return eventually, but by the time they had finished eating and let the thought stew in their minds, many became worried. They shouted, "Eustace!"

Max shouted, "Coo-ee!"

"What is coo-ee?" asked Jack.

"No idea, but they said that in the book, they shouted, "Eustace! Eustace! Coo-ee!" And so I decided I wanted to shout coo-ee."

"Hum, well, sounds good to me."

"Can you believe we are actually in Narnia." said Max in a random burst of randomness. "Do you realize how insane this is?"

"Yes," Jack sighed, "Can you believe some of the Narnia fan fictions, some of the writers, never have and may not ever understand CS Lewis's deeper meaning in his stories, they just take it and kill it, and make everyone emotionally unstable!"

SILENCE, SILENCE.

"Do you realize how many crappy reviews we're gonna get for that comment?" said Max as she whipped out her notebook to jot that thought down.

To Be Continued

REVIEW