Chapter 43: The Yule Ball Comes
"Oh shit, is it time for the task already? I have to go." I said and kissed him deeply before running from the cave and back toward the castle. It was a loud roar to hear so far away, it sent worry through me. I could let Harry die, he was all I had left of James and Lily. I paused when I saw Harry coming out with a golden egg in his hands, along side his two friends. His shirt was ripped at his shoulder, but I could see the healed skin underneath. He spotted me and came over, showing me the egg. "It's insane that I actually survived that!" he gasped and told me what had happened.
"I am sorry I missed it, I was…busy. But I am very happy you did so well, just like your parents. Smart like your mother and quick-thinking like your father. They would have been so proud of you, just like I am…" I gave him a hug and ushered him back to his friends, they would be celebrating and hopefully be working on the next task. I went back to my room and sat on the bed…I was so close to telling him. I had finally decided to do it. Why did the world have to keep stopping me? I groaned and laid back on the couch, staring at the clouds rolling across my roof, now a night sky.
Why could I never find the time to tell him? Why the world always falling apart on us? I thought of these things for weeks as I just went through the motions of teaching and barely speaking with people. Dumbledore seemed to understand that I was just stressed still and left me be. I was lounging on the couch with a book, almost midnight when I heard a knock at the door and answered it to see Remus standing there with an awkward smile on his face. I beckoned him inside and conjured some tea and some sandwiches for us at the table. We sat and I waited for him to speak, after all we hadn't spoke in a while. "Phoebe, it's good to see you. Happy holidays."
I shook my head and smiled. "Happy holidays to you as well. Has the money I sent you been enough, I could send more if you need it." he waved his hands, telling me it was more than enough and thanked me again for helping him out as work has been difficult for him right now. "Well, I'm happy to help. You were there for me when I was having some of the most difficult times in my life. I can only hope to half way repay the favor." his face changed slightly and he cleared his throat. "Actually, I was thinking about that a lot when I left you at the end of summer. You never really spoke about who it was and I was curious."
I pursed my lips, unsure if I wanted to tell him the truth, I mean Peter was evil, James and Lily were dead. Would he be upset if I told him the truth about Sirius and I? "Did you ever tell the guy? I mean I know you said it was a mistake, but I didn't know if you ever informed him of what might have been had you not lost it." I looked out the window and groaned. "I haven't. I've also been dreaming and thinking about it a lot lately. I can't seem to get it out of my mind." "It's understandable. I just kept getting a feeling from your letters that something had changed in the past few months. I am embarrassed to admit I was worried about you. I've always cared for you Phoebe, even if you don't return my feelings."
I blinked, he had never really spoke about his feelings for me, I honestly just thought he thought of me as a friend. "Remus…I mean, you know I care about you. Just not as more than a friend. We've been over this." "I know, I could tell when I kissed you for the first time, all those years ago, it was as if you were trying to force yourself to kiss me. I just assumed it was because of what I was." "Seriously, it has nothing to do with that. It's just…" "You already cared so much about someone else." he finished my sentence and I looked at him. "Phoebe, it's no big deal. Most girls that became pregnant in school would not be as calm and even happy about it…not unless there were deep feelings for the other half."
"Anyways, it's always bugged me…if you cared for the person that did that to you, why did you call it a mistake and say he was a jerk? Did he break up with you after…you know?" I shook my head, maybe it would help if I did tell someone and Remus was the only person I trusted with Sirius's secret. "It's a very difficult situation. I'm not sure if you would even believe me." he took my hand and gave a squeeze. "Of course I would. But you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I smiled and patted his hand. "Thank you Remus, you are truly a close friend I couldn't be without. I'm just not ready for talking about it." he agreed to my answer.
"So where are you staying now? I see you have a suitcase." he nodded at it and smiled. "I have found a small place yes, you're money has helped me so much. However, when I heard about the attacks at the World Cup and then the Tournament here at Hogwarts…then Harry being chosen even when the 3 were chosen. I had to come check on him, even though Dumbledore had to hear from several parents and people for allowing me on the grounds." "Yes, a lot has happened this year. Very quickly. Are you staying in the castle?" "No, I need to go to Hogsmead and try to rent a room. But I got here rather late and wanted to talk to you."
"Here, stay here for the night, the couch is actually comfortable. I'll get a blanket for you." he went to object and I rolled my eyes, not bothering to listen to him. "Phoebe, really. This isn't appropriate." "Why not? We are adults. I am no where near the students quarters. Dumbledore knows we have a past. You were with me when I lost my baby and helped get me to the nurse. You did so much more than any other young boy would have. We both know where we stand with each other, it's not like we are sleeping together. So relax. The bathroom is right through that door, I'm heading to bed." he went to object again but I just changed in the bathroom and climbed into the bed, pulling the curtains down for the first time. "Goodnight Remus." I called and after a minute, he mumbled a goodnight.
I woke up the next morning and heard Remus snoring loudly. "Geez, Remus." I whispered to myself and went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. The snores stopped as I walked out and he sat up, rubbing his face. "Morning." I said and he blinked and waved slightly before falling back onto the couch. "Not a morning person are we?" I joked and he chuckled. "Yeah, I'm more of a night wolf…" I couldn't help but laugh as I slid my boots on and wrapped my robes around me to keep warm. "Well, stay as long as you would like. I need to get to the morning meeting before breakfast." I waved as I shut the door and headed down the hallway.
I met Severus on the way and he scoffed at me, "Well finally you decide to grace us with your presence once more. I thought you had run away. Happy moment for me." I snorted. "Oh yeah, I'm sure it was high up there. Forgive me for taking some time to myself. I actually have a life outside my classroom. I'll be sure to start acting like you." and then I proceeded to walk and breath like him, making him furious and storming off. I began to laugh and entered the room with the other teachers not long after him.
Dumbledore informed us of the Yule Ball coming up in a couple days and all the work that has already been done and still needs to be done. When he finished I returned to my room and saw Remus sitting on the couch with an open book in one hand, almost forgotten by the letter he was holding in his other hand. "Hey. Everything alright?" I asked and he looked up, but quickly tucked the letter in his pocket. "Oh, yes. Of course. How was the meeting?" I told him about the ball and everything and didn't bring the letter up, it wasn't my business.
"Hey…would you wanna go with me? You know, to the ball? I'm sure Harry would love to see you. And it would give you two a chance to speak without others being around." he was confused, but agreed, both of us knowing it was only as friends. Remus continued to stay on my couch when he found out that all the rooms were taken in hogsmead. I went to my classes and he stayed in the room most days, but enjoyed visiting Dumbledore and a couple of the other teachers. I didn't visit Sirius again because I was worried that Remus may follow me one day and discover us. I didn't bring up the letter again and neither did he. The day of the Yule Ball was here and after I finished classes, I went back to my room to find Remus in his suit, looking mighty handsome.
"Wow, you clean up good. I haven't seen you dressed so nicely since James and Lily's wedding." I saw a blush along his cheeks and he cleared his throat, "I'll let you get dressed, I'll be outside when you are ready." he left without another word and I chuckled, he wasn't used to having anyone say anything nice to him since he was outted as a werewolf. I dressed and did my hair and makeup before glancing at myself in my full length mirror.
It was a delicately designed, off the shoulder bodice of gold. It had enriched floral-lace appliqué accented with rhinestones that made it shimmer. It was an A-line chiffon skirt and made me feel like such a beauty. My legs were seen through the mid-thigh and down through the fabric and a solid golden ruffles on one side to give it more flow. My hair was pinned back with a pearl vine that gave me somewhat of a French braid. It was rose gold and had ivory pearls along it as well. My makeup was fairly simple, different shades of gold and rose gold to deepen the violet shade of my eyes and some eye liner and mascara for my long lashes. My lips were colored a simple shade of pink-rosy red color and I stepped out to meet Remus.
He took a deep breath when he turned and saw me, before smiling and bowing slightly. "Amazingly beautiful as always, Phoebe. Shall we go?" I nodded and took his arm, allowing him to lead me down to the great hall. We entered and joined the adults and teachers as the Champions entered and took their spots on the dance floor. Harry and his date looked a bit awkward and he looked so scared to be dancing in front of the entire school. I noticed Hermione looking like a different person also, dancing gracefully with Krum. It wasn't too long before other students joined into the dancing.
"Shall we?" I blinked at Remus, I hadn't seen him dance at the wedding, I had never seen him dance at all. I smiled and took his hand, going out on the dance floor. Our hands joined and his other went to my waist and I placed mine on his shoulder. It was a moment later and we were spinning and nearly floating. It was so nice, Remus led me with such confidence I hadn't seen in him before. I was laughing and he was smiling when we finally took a break as a faster song came on and went to a table. "I'll get us some drinks." I nodded and looked around, seeing Ron and Harry sitting at a table looking awkward once more.
Remus returned and I took my drink but didn't let him sit. "There's Harry, why don't you go see him and talk for a bit. I'm alright here, thank you for coming with me." he went to object but I held up my hand. "Go, please." he sighed and nodded, waving as he went over to their table. I sipped the drink and watched the students dancing and feeling care free for the first time in a while. I stretched and decided to go for a walk, it was very warm in the hall. It was chilly, but it felt nice as I walked around the grounds, loving the beautiful snowy scene. "Professor Ice?" I snapped out of my mind and saw Snape walking toward me. Even he looked cleaned up nicely, to my surprise.
"Severus, what are you doing out here?" "Searching for students breaking the rules. What are you doing?" I shrugged and looked around. "Fresh air." he scoffed and walked away, leaving me alone again. I continued to walk around, just letting all my thoughts disappear. "You look like Liquid Luck my love." I tripped over my feet, surprised. I was caught and looked up to see Sirius dressed in a nice dress shirt and his hair was combed and his face trimmed. "Sirius?"