Chapter 44: Accusations

"Sirius?" I was caught off guard and he just smiled and helped me up, pulling me back into the shadows. I looked around and noticed I had walked all the way down pass the lake and at the edge of the dark forest. We were shielded from view of anyone, yet I still felt so worried he would be spotted. "This is dangerous Sirius, you could be seen." I said and he smirked at me, pressing me against a large boulder. "Do you truly want me to go?" his voice was so husky and I felt my heart beating faster. I just shook my head and leaned into his lips as he kissed me.

We broke apart after a few minutes and I giggled, pulling him against me as much as I could. "My god, you're beautiful." he breathed as he pressed his forehead to mine. I felt so safe and happy in this moment, I didn't want it to end. "Phoebe?" I recognized the voice and pressed Sirius against the boulder now instead, holding my finger to my lips. I stepped out and saw Remus looking around for me. "I'm coming Remus, sorry lost track of time." I began to walk over to him and he met me partly. "Oh there you are. Is everything alright? You disappeared."

"I was just clearing my head, that's all. Is the ball over already?" he nodded and I glanced around, looking at the lake, at the castle and at the forest where I saw Sirius's head peek out before disappearing back behind a tree. "Most of the students have began to go to bed, I came to see if you were ready to head back to the room. If not, could I have the key, I'm a bit tired." I handed the key over and waved him off, not ready for my night to end when it only just got good. He pecked my cheek and walked off without another look and I sighed. Once he was gone and I was sure that no eyes were on me anymore, I turned and walked back to see where Sirius had gone.

He was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed, chewing on his lip. I ran my hand along his arm and up to his shoulder. He didn't lean into my touch or look at me, so I sighed and stepped back, ready for his comments about Remus already. I swear he had no brain if he continued to think about me having feelings for Remus. "Phoebe…why is Remus sleeping in your room?" I groaned and made him look at me. "Sirius, please don't make me go through this again. He came for a visit because he was worried I hadn't been sending him letters. He also came to make sure Harry was alright when he heard about the tournament. Everywhere in Hogsmead is filled, he was going to be sleeping out in the cold. He sleeps on my couch. It's not a big deal."

"I sleep in the cold every night. Why is he different?" "Because he's not trying to prove his innocence to a crime he didn't do. You know I would rather have you in my room, but you wouldn't be on the couch. And I would make damn sure you weren't cold." I moved my hand down to his belt and undid it before sliding my hand inside. He groaned and lifted his face to the sky, a smile coming to his face. I kissed along his neck as I pumped him over and over until he finished. I smiled and he used his shirt to help clean my hand up.

"Phoebe, it's getting late, you should get some rest. I'm sorry for not trusting you. I love you so much. Will you come see me when Remus leaves?" I nodded, happy that he was quick to understand now. We bid each other goodnight and he disappeared as I started the walk back to the castle. I didn't run into anyone until I was so close to my room, I was tired and just wanted to sleep. But there he was, blocking the door to the hallway for my room, the door I needed to get through. "What do you want, Moody." I asked in a bored tone and he opened the door for me and followed me through.

"Mighty powerful curse you put on me. Reminded me of something from a long time ago." "Mm…okay." I muttered and sped up, hoping his leg would allow me to lose him…I was wrong. "Awfully familiar….indeed. I wonder who that was…it's right on the tip of my tongue." I rolled my eyes and turned to face him, finally reaching my door. "Professor Moody, I am tired. I am going to bed. Have a nice night." I went to walk away and he stuck his staff in my way. "Ahh…yes. It was a dark wizard…deformed…but powerful…what was his name again? Right…he wasn't supposed to be named."

I had frozen and my mind emptied. "What was that?" I breathed out, meeting his eye. "I'm just saying that the power you used was similar to another wizard…no big deal right?" I went to speak when my door opened and Remus was standing there, his wand in his hand. "Ah, Phoebe, I was coming to find you. I have the board all set up, you are white, so you move first." Moody looked pissed and even growled slightly before bidding us goodnight and limping off. I didn't realize I was shaking until Remus took my hand. I turned and faced him, tears in my eyes as he pulled me into the room and shut the door. "Are you alright?" I shook my head, sitting on the couch, I was far from alright. How did Moody know about my father from just a spell? Was I truly like him that much?

Remus gave me space and let me calm myself down before sitting beside me and patting my knee. "Phoebe, what did Mad-Eye say to you?" he asked and I shuddered, hating that I felt so weak once again. "H-he…uh…he said my spell reminded him of my…of my father." "Really? He knows?" I shook my head, meeting his eyes. "There's no way he could know. But he just kept describing him. Lupin he has to know by the style of my curse. I must be exactly like my father." he gave my knee a squeeze and said, "There is no way that you are anything like him. He is a monster. You are not. That is all that matters." he helped me up and to the bathroom and shut the door, leaving me to get changed for bed.

He was already covered and seemed to be sleeping by the time I had gathered myself again and walked out in my shirt and pants. I climbed into the bed and rolled over, wishing that it was Sirius with me, to hold me and tell me that it was alright. The morning came faster and I tore myself from the warmth of my bed to go to another morning meeting before Lupin had even woke up. Dumbledore was the only teacher there and I joined him, taking the pitcher and pouring a glass of coffee for me. I placed my sugar and cream in it when he spoke. "I have decided that you should give your exams this week and then you're classes will be over for this year."

I was shocked and stared for a good minute or two before speaking. "Headmaster, I understand I have been slacking a little, but don't cancel my classes please. I will do better. Truly." he held up his hand and his eyes twinkled at me. "Phoebe, please understand. I feel you have taught them extremely well this year. However you need to rest and get yourself ready for new lessons next year. Take this time, deal with anything you need to deal with. Test your students and then just enjoy the tournament and take all the time you need to get yourself back to how you want to be."

He wouldn't take no for an answer so I left to prep for the classes, to inform them of the exams that were popping up right after Christmas break…how fun that must be. They were shocked…but also eager to prove what they had learned. I excused myself from all my classes to get the exams ready, figuring each class different elements for each student. I was so tired as I drug myself back to the room, seeing Remus gone and I just shrugged, collapsing into the bed. My dreams were of the past once more…

**Past**

Remus finally bid me goodnight and went upstairs, I was feeling more relaxed than before, but my heart still felt like it was gone…I felt so empty. I dragged myself to the bed and fell asleep so fast I don't remember after that. The next morning I was woke by the bright light shining in, Lily didn't bother to wake me up, but I saw a note and a tray of food still warm beside the bed. "I brought all your favorites…please eat. I will come check on you at lunch. Lily." I sighed, I had promised Dumbledore…so I slowly began to eat. I didn't finish half of it before I changed for the day and went downstairs.

Classes were in swing so the common room was empty, I needed air so I left and walked out into an empty courtyard, sitting in a corner in the shade. I tucked my legs under me and leaned against the stone, letting the coolness seep into my skin. I'm not sure how long I was there…but I opened my eyes and saw Sirius standing in front of me. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, his tie undone and his messy hair just touching his robe. His eyes were standing into mine, then he plopped down beside me. His shoulders were just barely brushing against mine and his hand was inches from my fingers. "Hey…" he said in a quiet tone, his head leaned back and turned toward me.

I didn't speak, but met his eyes, he was concerned, worry filling his face. "Did Remus do something?" he asked simply, his eyes searching mine for any lie I would say. "…no…" I breathed out, loving him so close, it had been too long. I needed his comfort… "Then why haven't you been in classes…and crying so much?" his fingers brushed against my cheeks, under my eyes, to where they were still red and puffy from my tears. "…nothing…I'm fine…" I leaned into his touch, knowing I would have to pull away soon, I would have to leave him…before I spilled everything to him and begged him to forgive me and take me back.

He moved to side in front of me, his knees on either side of me, locking me so close to him. "Phoebe…don't lie to me. I can see there's something major wrong…please. Tell me." his plea was almost enough to break me, but I just stared at him, begging with my eyes to not ask me that. I let out a shaky breath, my eyes watering already. His face changed and he pulled me into a hug, crushing me against his chest. "I'm sorry Phoebe. I didn't mean to make you cry. You don't have to tell me anything, just breathe…" I gripped his back tight, leaning against him for the comfort I was needing. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, but finally the tears stopped and I sniffled, letting Sirius lean me back to look at me. "Feeling okay?" I didn't speak, but I nodded slightly, I was only okay because he was with me…I would fall apart when he left.

He cupped my face in his hands and looked me over a good time…before smiling slightly at me and pressing his lips to mine. I reacted in a moment and pressed closer to him, closing any space between us. I missed his lips on mine, I missed his taste, I missed…everything about him. We broke apart and he tucked me against him, letting me lay my head on his chest under his arm. He rubbed my arm as we sat there, just lounging together. I was dozing off when he shifted and looked down at me. "Phoebe, class just let out, there will be people coming out soon…do you want me to leave?" I blinked, I was still 'dating' Remus…I couldn't be seen snuggling with Sirius.

"…yes…" I huffed, sitting up and letting him start to get up. But before he got up, he caressed my cheek and gave me a last kiss. Then he stood up and walked away, the way he walked was different, slower, as if he didn't want to, as if he was waiting for me to call him back…but I didn't. I watched him leave and he was right, not a minute later, the courtyard was filling with students going to different classes. No one bothered me, but I did get looks…