June 1st:
Rodolphus is making me write this diary. You should know, I don't want to. I think this is extremely sad, talking to a piece of bloody paper. He also says I have to write my name in it. Phfff… what if Lucius Malfoy finds this? Then what? He'll parade it around to all the Death Eaters, and with my luck the Dark Lord will read it. Then he'll possibly kill me because I might have written some terrible insult about him. So I am not going to.
6:20:
Not that I ever would insult you, or anything, my Lord, if you are reading.
6:22:
I still hate you for making me go out to the Department, though. So don't think you're getting away with it.
6:24:
Ok, I'll let you. Obviously I can't fight with you.
June 2nd:
He's still making me go. I protested, which is the most you can do with him, but he is STILL making me. What if I get caught? I do not want to go back to Azkaban. It still haunts me to think about how long I was there, sitting for hours on end staring at the blank wall ahead.
The Dark Lord doesn't care. He says if I was still his most loyal follower I would do anything. And I would, but I don't want to go back there. I'm not doing anything to upset him, though.
I have no chance with him.
I love him so much.
10:30:
I hate him.
10:34:
I hope he doesn't get his hands on this and read it. Or Lucius. I'd never hear the end of it.
11:07:
WHY AM I IN LOVE WITH THE DARK LORD? WHY WHY WHY?
Why did I write that… why why why…
11:10:
I'm not really that crazy, am I?
11:11
Don't answer that. I don't want to know.
11:12:
Why am I talking to paper… why why why…
11:14:
WHY DO I KEEP ON SAYING WHY?
11:22:
Going to sleep now. If Rodolphus stops snoring, at least. I don't think it's going to work.
2:33:
I've been laying there since half eleven. I can't take it. Rodolphus needs to stop drinking so much, then at least he won't snore. I wonder if the Dark Lord snores…
EUW I just dribbled over the paper. His name is all smudged now.
I'm going to hide the wine.
2:40:
Did it. Cunningly hid it in my drawer, he will never find it in there. He won't go anywhere near that drawer because it contains my underwear.
2:45:
Men are so funny about things like that.
June 3rd:
It's tomorrow. I keep telling myself I'll be alright, but I don't know if I will. Anyway, to the point.
I SAT NEXT TO THE DARK LORD AT BREAKFAST!
Oh yeah. It was amazing. He's such a gentleman when he wants to be. I was practically melting, and he touched me. HE TOUCHED ME. TOUCHED ME. WITH THE SLEEVE OF HIS ROBES!
Brushed them against my arm.
And then he said I looked tired. No seriously, he went 'You look tired this morning, Bella', and I said 'Yes my Lord', (I managed something sensible for a change when I spoke to him) 'That would be because my husband kept me up until four in the morning snoring.'
AND THEN (This gets so totally better) Rodolphus said, 'It was not be Bella, you were the one snoring all night.' And then I said 'No Dolphy, I don't snore.' Then Rodolphus said, 'Everyone snores at times.'
Voldemort was just sitting there watching the two of us, smirking as he usually does.
So I strategically said, 'I bet you don't snore my Lord.'
And he raised an eyebrow at me for a moment, and then said 'I wouldn't know Bella since no one ever complains to me about it.' THEN he added on, 'In fact, you're the only person that ever complains to me, maybe you should sleep in my room with me in there one night and find out for yourself.'
I was completely speechless. And I opened and shut my mouth a few times like a bloody goldfish. Stupid child.
Lucius was glaring at me. He's just jealous that Voldemort said it to me, and not him. Rodolphus and I think he fancies the Dark Lord secretly, so that's why he hates me because I am the favourite. Ne ne ne ne neeee neeeeeeeee.
Hehehehehehehe… I'm so happy… and still so worried… Hopefully Voldemort will look after me.
Lunch: Just after the meeting:
That DAMN Dark Lord has only gone and put Lucius is charge. LUCIUS SODDING MALFOY IN CHARGE.
How dare he.
I'm never going to speak to him again.
Lucius. Malfoy. Above. Me.
How. Dare. He.
Luckily for him I don't have PMS. If I did… he'd be sorry… Rodolphus says I have to be reasonable, because I am second.
SECOND IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
Huh. Hate him.
3:44:
That's going to far. I semi hate him.
8:04:
I am going to bed early tonight so the Dark Lord can tell me I look refreshed tomorrow. I bet that's why he didn't put me first. Because I looked tired, and he didn't want the Dark Side's reputation tarnished.
That's the only thing he ever cares about. Just because he's the Dark Lord.
June 4th: 6:33:
When I woke up I thought it was like… nine… But no. HALF PAST SIX. AM. It's like…the middle of the night still. It's a pretty day though, all blue skies and stuff. I'm going to get dressed and go out for a nice walk.
This love thing is going to my head. A walk…
10:09:
Just got back. I need a few minutes to recover from my shock, and the fact my legs hurt.
10:11:
Ok. Wow. I went out for my walk. I was really bored, and it's hot, so I was wearing this dress thing. I thought it was pretty, even if it was short. Very short.
As soon as I walked out of the door of the House I was greeted by… well, you can guess who.
He looked so yummy… he was standing there smoking gazing into the distance. When he's with just us, the Death Eaters, he has his face and body in its 'human' form. Yummy yummy.
He is yummy.
He saw me, and called me over to him. Then he offered me a cigarette. I mean, how could I say no to him? I was trying my hardest to give them up after Azkaban, which was one of those phases I went through, I have now discovered.
He was all like 'Why are you here at this time of the morning', and I just said I couldn't sleep so decided to come for a walk. He said he'd come with me. So we started walking along together, and his gardens in his house are gorgeous, and I mean it. It's so…not evil, but there were flowers everywhere, and waterfalls…
And then he told me he liked my dress.
And the world stop turning for a moment.
Then this other world was made. It's parallel to this one. In this world I smiled at him and said thank you, in the other I smiled and snogged him.
Then next part was even more surprising. And totally out of character.
He asked me if I was ok about today. I was like, 'Oh, don't worry about me my Lord, I'm just being my usual moaning self.' And then I smiled sweetly at him, and he laughed.
I made Lord Voldemort laugh.
'You'll be fine Bella, really, I don't know why you're so worried.'
Huh. All he has to do is sit around on his solid gold throne all day ordering us lot around. I don't know why you're so worried… my ass…
'Thank you, my Lord', was all I said. Better to be safe and agree then be dead and not agree.
Get my logic…
I decided then to ask him why he'd put Lucius he charge and not me. He looked at me with a smile and said; 'Bella, I didn't put you in charge because I wasn't sure about your mental state, and whether you were ready for this or not. Are you?'
It took me a while to register he'd asked me a question. 'I think I am my Lord, if you do.'
Yummy…
He looked all surprised then, which made him even yummier. 'We'll see how you do today.'
AND THEN he looked me right in the eye. It was like I was having flashbacks of many moments in my life, important moments. It was strange. They stopped as soon as he broke the look though. Then he looked at me in a really funny way, as though he'd suddenly discovered something.
That was nice…
June 4th: 10:11:
Don't want to talk about it. I hate Voldemort and I hate Lucius and I hate Potter and I hate Longbottom and I hate everyone apart from myself.
10:17:
It got smashed. The stupid bloody prophecy got itself smashed and I'm the one that gets blamed for it. As always. All the others have gone to Azkaban, so I'm the only important one left. Voldemort is furious and wants me in his office tomorrow at nine.
NINE O CLOCK FOR GODS SAKE. NINE. THAT'S THE MIDDLE OF THIS NIGHT STILL.
That's why I hate him. I know exactly what'll happen, too. He's going to kill me.
I don't see why it has to be that early in the morning though. How can I make myself look beautiful if I have to be there for nine?
I don't understand these Dark Lords, really, I don't.
Going to sleep now. I have to get up early.
Hmph.
June 6th: 3PM:
Wow. He cursed me nada. Wow. I'm in shock. Wow.
He…
Wow.
I mean…
Wow.
I need to pee.
3:02:
He kissed me. Quite a few times. Basic summary;
I walked into his office and knelt, and everything, and he completely ignored me for a couple of minutes, then stood up and told me to get up in this really horrid voice. So I did, obviously.
Then he walked right over to me, his wand in one hand with a completely evil expression on his yummy face. And there I was, expecting the complete worse, when he kissed me. Right on the lips. And I was so shocked I just stood there, and did nothing. Then he stepped back from me and told me to go.
I was like… what? Go? I got up at nine for no reason? And he just kissed me, so be obviously LIKES me in some way. But instead I touched him on the hip, spun around him and kissed him right back on the lips. Yeah, like I was going to let that one pass by.
Then he looked right at me again, with a very small smile, and he said 'What, do you like me or something?"
Dur… I just nodded and said 'You have no idea my lord.' Then this kind of strange look passed on him, for a tiny weeny moment, and then he started kissing me even more. And then (!) he led me through a few doors and we were in his most private rooms, which I don't think any death eater, or anyone, apart from him, has been in. Luck!
Then he pushed me backwards onto the bed, and started kissing my neck. 'I hope your husband doesn't mind this.'
Then I had two choices. Be polite and normal to him, or be cheeky and make him laugh. I kind of knew he wouldn't mind the latter… I mean, we were about to have sex. I chose the second.
'I can assure your Lordship that I wouldn't care if he did mind.' I felt a weeny bit bad, because Rodolphus was in prison, but that was his own fault.
Voldemort laughed slightly at that. 'Don't mock me Bella.' Didn't seem that fussed. 'I am not my Lord. I would never mock you.' Now that was truth. And then… And then he started to undress me. He ran his hand up the inside of my leg and at the same time he unbuttoned my robes. It was so early I'd probably fucked up my underwear, but he wasn't complaining. And then he did some very naughty things I'm not saying in case Rodolphus or Lucius find this.
Hmm. I bet he'll never want to speak to me again now. Which is unfair, because we had sex. A few times. Ok, a few dozen times. You didn't read that, either Lucius.
I wonder if he'll go out with me… I mean, Rodolphus has lots of other girlfriends, and he does expect me to stay loyal to him though. Selfish. If Voldemort wants to then what can I say? Not no. I'll have to say yes to him, I know I will.
I would anyway. I'm so happy!
3:32:
Oh my god, he just owled me! His gorgeous tawny own came in, with a letter with his wax seal on it and everything!
I'm going to keep it. Here's a copy of the owl:
Dear Bella,
I would like you to join me for dinner tonight. Come to my private rooms alone at seven o clock. Let me know straight away.
I hope to see you there,
Voldemort.
Hmm, this is the best! I am so going to be the top Death Eater now. I think now might be the time to tell Rodolphus though… Not that he can say anything. Strange, he finished with just Voldemort. He always signs with 'Lord' Voldemort.
Whatever. Need to reply…
My Lord,
I would be most honoured to dine with you tonight, and I thank you profusely for the invitation. I would like to tell you now how I have enjoyed my recent time with you.
Your most faithful servant,
Bellatrix Lestrange.
I'm so happy!
4:30:
Wait a second. Let me think…
I HAVE TWO AND A HALF HOURS TO GET READY!
So what do you think? Drop me a review.
Excessively Complex.