Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Summary: Naruto has discovered that his ancestral home has a will of it's own and a sense of humour as well. Because of Naruto's laziness we now find him riding a tunnel that started under his bed.

With the his ears still ringing from Kyubi's laughter and his injuries still nagging Naruto vowed he would never again try to sleep in his own house again. While heading towards the Hokage Tower as he had been told to do, the Uzumaki's thoughts went back to earlier this morning.

FLASHBACK

Glad to see the end of the tunnel approaching, Naruto was very surprised when he suddenly found himself airborne. Blinded by the sunlight, Naruto couldn't prevent himself from land heavily hitting the ground, tasting sand.

Shaking his head, trying to get the sand out of his mouth, it was not untill Naruto heard a dull thud that the Kyuubi carrier froze and became aware of his surroundings.

To his right was a large wooden fence with circles painted on it and several kunai stuck in those circles. Not daring to look to his left, Naruto quickly glanced wary of what he would find.

What he saw was a group of kids, not older than 10, with sharp kunais which glinted menacingly in the sunlight. Seeing their surprised faces turn to glee and then to a dangerous kind of glee, Naruto jumped to his feet and ran for his life. Within mere heartbeats the horde of children pursued Naruto whilst continuing their moving target practice.

END FLASHBACK

Wondering if all children in Konoha were deadly, Naruto once more rubbed his poor behind that had suffered greatly from his impromptu dodging exercise. Arriving at his destination, Naruto once more inspected his clothing. Because he was forced to leave his scroll behind when he was so roughly awakened, Naruto had to find different clothes. Unfortunately, the only thing he could find where these orange training suits. The old lady from the shop wouldn't sell anything else to Naruto.

Wondering if it was because he was the Kyuubi carrier or because he was clad in his pyjamas at the time, Naruto opened the door to the Hokage's office. Nodding respectfully to Sarutobi, Naruto took a seat, waiting for the old man to start talking.

Sarutobi took one last puff of his pipe and the glanced at the papers in front of him. Sharply glancing at the shinobi in front of him, the Third Hokage decided he would be open with the boy.

"Why did you receive a scroll from old man Ichiruka yesterday?" The question was asked casual, but Naruto knew the man was observing him, noting his reactions. Trying to keep his face straight, Naruto's mind raced through his options.

"Why do you ask?" Naruto asked, trying to gain more time. The Third raised an eyebrow, motioning the blonde ninja to answer the question.

Seeing no other way out, Naruto opted for the truth. "Alright then, the old man is part of my personal spy network and keeps tabs on what is happening in Konoha." Seeing the surprised face of Sarutobi, Naruto sarcastically added, "You can't serious expect Jiraiya to be the only one with enough talent to set up a network."

Realising his pipe had almost died out, the old man quickly puffed it back to life. His old mind was racing like mad, he saw a golden opportunity. Swiftly making up his mind, Sarutobi spoke up.

"The council has decided that the merging of your chakra with that of the Kyuubi is to dangerous and might be a danger to the people of Konoha, therefore you are ordered to desist in you attempt." Seeing the dismayed look Naruto's face, Sarutobi's look softened. "It went against my will, but the Hokage alone is not powerful enough to stop the entire village council. I am sorry."

Sensing the authenticity of Sarutobi's words, Naruto nodded and waited for the old man to continue speaking.

"You have managed to set up a spy network, under my nose and without any of our interrogation officers knowing. That alone speaks highly of your skills." Leaning forward in his chair, Sarutobi locked eyes with the boy in front of him. "Naruto, I want you to expand your network, be my eyes and ears. Warn Konoha of danger and deceit. As you know, Jiraiya's network focuses heavily on Orochimaru and other large dangers to our village. I want your network to be closer to the ground. Search for spies, missing nins or other factors that might cost the lives of our ninjas. Will you do that for me?"

Feigning deep thought, Naruto spoke with his tenant.

So what do you think fox? Are we going to do this?

Bah, whatever. As long as we get some action. Too bad that we have to put the merging on hold.

I think that as long as we don't pose a threat to the inhabitant of Konoha we're in a loophole. But I agree that we'll stop for the moment. If we're going to do this I will be needing chakra.

Interesting though brat. Fine then, I'll halt the merging. Go tell the old man you'll do it.

Ending his conversation with the fox, Naruto nodded once agreeing with the old man's plan. "I'll be needing some funds of course, and the appropriate rank to be able to make some trips in order to set up the network."

"Of course you'll be funded but you'll have to come here once every two weeks to explain what you're using the money for. As for rank, you'll have to participate in the Chuunin Exam for that. As you don't have a team leader, you're free to go where you want."

Slightly disappointed that the old man didn't fall for his lame excuse and promote him, Naruto agreed to the conditions. With his mind already in a higher gear, Naruto left the office to make some preparations.

Feeling rather weird after Naruto could use chakra for the first time in four years. One the one hand it was rather nice to be able to use his own chakra instead of stealing it from other people, on the other hand it was quite disappointing that the merging of chakra with Kyuubi wouldn't continue…for now.

Having finished packing his bag, Naruto was about to leave the mansion when he suddenly was forced to duck. A throwing star had hit the place where Naruto's head had been a mere second ago. Grabbing the star and returning to where it had come from, Naruto was satisfied when the star impacted in the bulls eye.

During his stay at the Uzumaki Mansion, Naruto had learned that the house was training him to expect the unexpected and sprung surprise attacks on him and kept on attacking him until the young shinobi returned fire and hit the bulls eye.

Before he left for the Hokage's office, Naruto activated the genjutsu and the trapdoor disappeared from sight. After that Naruto sped away, using several shortcuts through the poorer district of Konoha, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a cart full of melons.

Sarutobi was busy with reading a report that Ibiki had sent him when the door opened and Naruto sneaked inside. "I didn't hear you coming Naruto. You must've sneaked around my secretary. Already in the role of spymaster?" Sarutobi informed with a small smile.

Grinning fox-like, Naruto dodged the answer by taking a seat. Declining some tea, the Kyuubi carrier came straight to business. "I'll be needing a cover to head towards Tea Country. Best thing would be a Genin team or something like that."

Whilst the Third was checking the team rosters and the available assignments, Naruto discretely shuffled his deck of cards and absently made them jump from his right hand to his left and back again. Sarutobi talking to him snapped him out of his thougths.

"Hmm, there is a team going Tea Country. They are sent to repair the roof of one of the teahouses. It is classed as a C-rank mission because of the travel to another country. I'll add you to the roster. You'll be meeting them at the West Gate in three hours."

Seeing their meeting was over, both ninjas said their goodbyes and Naruto left, he still had some business to attend to.

The old man from Ichiruka's was currently rather absent. He had received a visit from the blonde shinobi for whom he collected information, Uzumaki Naruto. It seemed that he had done his work so well that he had to continue his efforts. Just then two ninjas stepped inside, one was criticising the other because of his lack of loyalty to the Hokage and Konoha. Unaware of the old man they continued their discussion in hushed voices.

Whilst giving the ramen another good stir, the old man carefully remembered their words and their appearances. He would add it to his weekly report.

Utterly and completely bored out of his skull, Naruto trudged along on the road towards Tea Country. The genin team he was walking with were some really strange people in his opinion. They called themselves Team Gai, but Naruto had not really paid them enough attention to know why. All he knew was that the team consisted of two, green-clad weirdo's, a rather stoic Hyuuga and a brown-haired girl with buns.

Snap out of it brat, if you value your life. I'm getting tired of saving your sorry ass every time. Large group of bandits, twelve o' clock.

The rough voice of the demon fox was a quick way to bring Naruto down to earth. He had long learned to rely on the demon's superior senses when they were in foreign territory.

Let's see if my training has paid off. Not bothering to warn his teammates, Naruto swiftly reached for his holster with cards. To the untrained eye it seemed as if the blonde merely brushed past the cards but a very attentive person would have spotted the five cards Naruto now held in his hand.

Spreading them open like a fan, Naruto kept one eye on his cards and the other on his surroundings. Hmm, one pair of sevens, a three, a five and a king.

By now the Hyuuga had sensed something and calmly activated his Byakugan which alerted the rest of his team.

Tuning out the screams the thick eye-browed men uttered, Naruto calmly stated, "I'll take three." And in an almost casual way Naruto threw the cards into the woods.

As a weapon mistress, TenTen watched with interest at the projectiles the short blonde boy had thrown. Although they were simple playing cards they were aerodynamic and rotated with the same speed as a simple throwing star. She could hear soft thuds when the cards impacted with some trees.

Apparently satisfied Naruto drew three new cards and spread them out. Smiling contentedly, the Uzumaki rummaged around in his pouch for a while.

Three queens. That makes a full house, nice!

It would be better if you would use that ungodly luck of yours in a game of strip poker with some hot girls, instead of playing with yourselves.

You know very well I won't do that you overstuffed teddybear!

Sometimes I really wonder about your sexual preference. My guess is you literally just don't have the balls. Hahahahaha

Leaving the fox to howl at his joke, Naruto finally found what he was looking for and dropped a pair of dice. By now the entire team from Konoha was ready for battle. The jounin and his clone were already in some taijutsu stance, the girl with buns had armed herself and the Hyuuga was still, rather stoical, standing there with his arms crossed.

As his dice made place for eight clones, Naruto quickly formed the appropriate seal for henge. Concentrating in making his clothes as black as the night he channeled chakra into his system.

"Henge." Emerging from the smoke cloud in black, Naruto gave the necessary orders to his 'men'.

"Four of you up in the trees, give me cover. Two of you, stick with me, take as many down as you can." Turning to the last clone, Naruto solemnly nodded to him. "Your mission is to take out the bandit leader. Stick to the shadows, strike sure, swift and hard." Seeing all his clones knew what to do, Naruto sent them on their way.

TenTen was getting anxious. It was the first time her team would be attacked by bandits. "First time combat?" The question totally caught her off guard. Turning she saw the genin that was travelling with her team, Nakuto or something. Instead of the horrid orange, he was wearing an all black suite that seemed to make him meld into the shadows.

Seeing the girl was close to losing her cool Naruto just smiled reassuringly at her. "Don't worry. Just aim for their legs, keeps them from reaching us." With an almost feral like grin, Naruto raised his hand, waiting for the bandits to charge out of the woodline.

Several seconds later the shinobi tensed as a large mass of men charged out of the woods, swiftly making their way towards the Konoha ninjas. Their strength lay in their numbers as they had little discipline or training.

Without a word, Naruto brought his hand down in a chopping motion, signalling his clones to open fire from their higher vantage points. As a rain of kunai and stars descended on the mob of men, Naruto whipped his full house open and held as one would hold a fan.

Grabbing three more cards which he held in his left hand, Naruto quickly coated the edges of the cards with a strong paralysing poison. Once his preparations were finished, the Kyuubi carrier signalled the remaining two clones to take up flank position and charged forward.

The battle had descended into an unorganised mass of men, weapons and blood. Of the five original clones, only two remain who dutifully were still raining death upon the bandits. The two guards Naruto had with him had both also been disposed, but Naruto was still up and running.

His charge had slowed the approach of the bandits, making their front rank clap double halting their approach completely. Thus, the bandits were milling about like an anthill, unable to bring order to the chaos of their ranks.

Team Gai were watching with open mouth. Instead of the tough battle they were expecting, the bandits hadn't even reached them.

TenTen watched in awe as the figure of Naruto slid as a shadow from figure to figure. Putting the energetic boy out of his head, the weapon mistress concentrated on picking off the bandits that made their way towards her team.

Dodging a blow that would surely have severed his arm from his torso, Naruto responded with a lightning swipe of his fan that cut the man's throat. Before that blood had even hit the ground, the clone on Naruto's side intercepted a rather lethal sword thrust. Without even looking at his victim, the bloodied blonde sliced the man with his other hand. Within heartbeats the poison found it's way to the brain and the man collapsed.

Kill, crush, maim, destroy! Kill, crush, maim, destroy! Kill, crush, maim, destroy!

On the beat of Kyuubi's mantra, Naruto proceeded to dodge, slice, block and kick his way through the mass of bodies.

In the chaos of bodies and noise, a corridor had opened, giving Naruto the chance to engage the bandit leader. Breaking into a sprint Naruto headed for the man. In the ninja's wake, three men collapsed to the floor and two others fell clutching their throats.

He was three steps away from felling the bandit leader when the instinct he developed due to the Mansion kicked. Diving hard to his left, Naruto felt a blade pass mere centimetres over his head, hitting his last clone instead of the blonde himself.

Not waiting for the blade to come again, Naruto used Kawarimi with a nearby sword, getting him away from the dangerous blade. Then, as an afterthought the blonde and thoroughly bloodsoaked ninja turned towards the leader and launched all the cards in his hands at the unfortunate man.

Waiting for the satisfying thud of the body hitting the ground, Naruto then quickly and silently made his escape, like a ninja after an assissantion. Sighing silently, the newly instated Konoha ninja observed the remaining bandits that were fleeing after the death of their leader.

Common ninja guidelines state that after a battle or assassination, the first thing a ninja must do is leave the vicinity of the fight. Then tend to his of her wounds and then start asking questions.

Naruto was never really known for his patience nor was he often wounded, so it was only after a swift run of seven minutes that Naruto decided it was time to ask some questions. Landing in a soft crouch, the genin turned towards the jounin, Gai.

"Alright, start talking. Those bandits back there were hired swords and wouldn't have attacked us unless they were ordered to do so, so my question is; why would someone want to attack us?" Crossing his arms he glared at the man whose eyebrows resembled large hairy caterpillars.

The man cleared his throat and sheepishly looked around. "Underneath the mission in another mission. We must deliver a trading scroll to the High Lord of Tea Country. A rivalling faction does not wish the trading agreement made as that would result in them losing their monopoly position."

Nodding once, Naruto turned around and went on his way again, but while he jumped onto a tree branch he softly said, "Please share this kind of vital information with me Gai-san. I could've avoided the battle if I knew of the high risk of enemies in this mission." Before Gai could speak again, Naruto jumped to the next branch and headed towards Tea Country. In silence, the five resumed their way.

That's all folks, I'm busy writing a chapter for Ramen no Jutsu so expect an udate in two weeks or so. Untill then.

Ja ne!