Chapter 35
Three days later...
Tony wasn't sure he'd ever felt as nervous as he did today. ...maybe on his first day of playing in the bar, but there was a sense of anticipation as well. This meant something to him. It meant a lot to him, and it was the end of one stage and the beginning of another. So it really did mean something.
He'd seen the sign when he'd left the bar that morning. Jack had put it in the window of the bar (The Piano Man's last performance. Come and say good-bye to Joel!). It was far too appropriate. He himself was saying good-bye to Joel. One final serenade. He smiled to himself at the thought. Tonight, the set was all his, and it would be all Billy Joel.
One last time.
He walked into the hospital. Tim was supposed to be released and they were going from the hospital to the bar. Tony didn't know what Gibbs had done to keep people from insisting on talking to him before going back to DC, but he was grateful for it. He wanted to focus on what was here and finishing up what he had here before going back.
With Captain Blaine and his cronies in the process of being extradited back to Norfolk, Tony felt a measure of relief and relaxation. The evidence was in the hands of NCIS and the police. He was out of it. Tim was out of it. It was possible that they'd be called on to testify when the time came, but that was fine. It wouldn't be anytime soon. They could focus on their own healing rather than the case. That was important simply because the case itself had been so traumatic for them both.
As he walked into Tim's room, he was surprised to see Tim dressed and just getting into a wheelchair, with Dr. Bates giving one last lecture.
"Now, just because you're getting released does not mean that you're fully recovered, Agent McGee. When you get back to DC, I want you to go to your doctor for a full checkup to make sure that things are still going well. You need to rest and relax as much as is possible. Understood?"
"Yeah, I understand," Tim said.
Tim was looking a lot better, but when he saw Tony, there was still that tinge of relief in his expression as if he fully expected Tony to disappear again every time he left the room.
"Hey," Tony said. "Ready to go?"
"Yes. I'm being set free," Tim said.
Dr. Bates tsk-ed at Tim but he smiled a little as well. Then, he turned his attention to Tony.
"How are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm okay," Tony said. He'd been talking to Dr. Snarr over the last couple of days and he genuinely was okay. Maybe not stellar or anything, but he was okay.
"Good. You're going to keep meeting with someone when you get back to DC?"
"Yeah. Gibbs is making me and Ducky is getting recommendations."
"Excellent. Then, I have no choice but to let the both of you leave. Congratulations on being among my strangest patients."
It was a testament to what just three days of real rest had done for Tim that he was able to smile at that. Was he perfect? Far from it, but he might have achieved okay as Tony had.
"Do you have a ride?" Dr. Bates asked.
"Yeah. Gibbs and Ducky will be getting us," Tony said.
"All right, then, you are officially discharged, Agent McGee."
"Thanks."
Tony took hold of the wheelchair handles and pushed Tim out of the room.
"I wasn't lying, was I?" Tony asked.
Tim laughed a little.
"No, you weren't. If we go out the main entrance, they should be there."
"Okay, good."
When they got out of the hospital, Gibbs and Ducky were not there, but Tim didn't seem worried, so Tony tried not to worry as well.
"I thought we were just going to meet you at the bar," Tim said after a few silent seconds.
"I had some time. Jack doesn't like me to start playing too early, and the regulars won't be around for about an hour."
Tim craned his neck a little.
"You're going to miss this, aren't you."
"A little," Tony admitted. "You know me. I like performing...and if people enjoy my performance, too, that's all the better. I got to know the regulars a little bit. I got to know Jack. I really lucked out in ending up at his bar. He acts stern and hard but he's soft as mush inside. I'm going to miss him."
"Will you come back here?"
"Yeah," Tony said. "But probably not for a while. I need to get back to my real life and I can't do that if I keep coming back here. But eventually, I will. It's not like I can't keep in touch even just with a phone call."
Suddenly, Tim straightened in the wheelchair and pulled out his phone. Then, he pulled out his wallet and got a business card out. He dialed a number all while Tony was watching in confusion.
"Tim?"
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing?"
And for the first time in who knew how long, Tim smiled. It was a real smile.
"I'm calling Cadillac Mama," he said and his smile widened to a grin.
"What?"
Tim just waved his hand and then appeared to be listening.
"Hey, Cadillac Mama," he said.
"Put it on speaker," Tony said. "I gotta hear this."
Tim nodded and suddenly, there was a Texas drawl coming out of Tim's phone.
"–and I didn't really think you'd call."
"I told you I would," Tim said.
"So you solved your mystery?"
"Yes. I found my friend. He was in L.A. and we're heading back to DC tomorrow."
"Any details you can give?"
Tim looked at Tony and raised a questioning eyebrow, and Tony understood. Tim didn't want to share out details that Tony might find uncomfortable.
"How about hearing from the man himself," Tony said, finally.
"Ah, the mystery man."
"That's me, I guess."
"So he really did find you. Are you glad he did?"
"Yeah. I needed to be found. That's what I was doing in L.A. ...I was trying to find myself, but I wasn't succeeding."
"Well, if anyone could find you, it would be Tim. I never saw someone so determined. And how are you doing? You weren't looking your best when I saw you before."
"I'm okay, Jill. How are the grandkids?" Tim said with a grin.
"Ha. I know what you're doing. I'm glad you let me know the end of the story... or at least the end of a part of the story. I'll bet it's not the real end. You be good to yourself, you hear?"
"Will do. Thanks again, Cadillac Mama."
"You're welcome," Jill said, chuckling. "10-4."
"10-4."
Then, Tim hung up.
"Okay, what was that?" Tony asked, just glad to see Tim looking like a normal person for the first time in a while.
Tim's smile changed a little but it didn't vanish. "When I got to Amarillo, I had no idea which truck stop you might have been at and so I started making the rounds of all of them. Jill noticed me after I'd been in her stop a number of times and she came over and started asking me about what I was doing. She remembered seeing you and what truck you got in."
"Cadillac Mama?" Tony asked.
"Her CB handle. Cadillac Ranch is right there, so I guess she figured it would be appropriate. She's a lot like Jack sounds. She's a tough cookie, but she also was just back from a vacation to see her grandkids."
Tony laughed. "Yeah, I see."
"I promised her that I'd find some way to let her know what happened, and I just remembered." Then, Tim looked to the side. "And here's our ride."
"Good."
Gibbs and Ducky pulled up to the curb beside them.
"Are you ready to go?" Ducky asked.
"Yes," Tim said.
He stood up himself, but Tony noticed that he was still moving carefully, but at least he was walking around. Gibbs stayed behind the wheel, but Ducky fussed over getting Tim into the car and then he fussed over Tony getting settled as well.
Then, they were off. Tony could feel his nerves returning as they neared the bar, but he tried to ignore that and focus on the fact that he was going to get to play one last time. He was glad to be able to do it. He wasn't dreading it at all.
"Are you prepared, Anthony?"
"Yeah. I'm always prepared, and after eight months of this, I can do it."
"I must admit that I'm excited to see your performance. I've never had the opportunity before," Ducky said.
"I hope you like it."
"I'm sure I will."
When they arrived on the block where the bar was, Gibbs had to let them off at the bar and then go searching for a parking space. There was no on-street parking available, but Tim couldn't walk very far. So they all got out and Ducky promised to save Gibbs a seat.
The bar was bustling as was usual for a Friday night. Jack saw him as soon as he came in and he made his way over to the table where Tim and Ducky were sitting.
"Are you ready? They've already been asking," Jack said.
"I'm ready."
"Good. You need anything?" Jack asked Tim and Ducky.
"Oh, you guys have got to get the nachos," Tony said. "They're great."
"I think we can manage that," Ducky said.
"I'm still... recovering," Tim said. "I'd better not drink anything."
"Probably wise," Ducky said. "Would it be inappropriate for us all to avoid alcohol for the evening? I know some bars require purchasing alcoholic drinks."
"Even if I had that rule, I wouldn't enforce it tonight," Jack said. "I'll make sure you all get a club soda?"
"That will be sufficient, thank you," Ducky said.
Jack went off to the bar.
"He's a lot friendlier this time," Tim said.
"He knows who you are this time," Tony said.
Gibbs walked into the bar and joined them.
"We're getting nachos," Tim said.
Gibbs raised an eyebrow and said nothing.
"They're worth it. I promise," Tony said. "I'd better go and warm up."
He headed for the piano and started out with instrumental, as was his usual. He played "Mexican Connection" and "Root Beer Rag" and he heard people quieting down for a moment. He leaned forward.
"This is my last night here. You'll have to get used to something other than Billy Joel," he said.
The patrons laughed.
"Where you headed, Joel?"
Tony almost corrected the name, but decided not to. He could be Joel for one last night.
"I'm going home. I came here looking for where I belonged and I realized that home was where I belong."
"Where's home?"
"D.C., but for my local fans, this one's for you," Tony said and he started playing "Los Angelenos" and the patrons laughed. He'd played it before as a teasing for his fans. Some sang along with him and when he finished, they applauded.
"Sing us a song, Piano Man!" another patron shouted out.
Tony smiled and looked at Jack who just rolled his eyes as he set a large plate of nachos at the table where Tim, Ducky and Gibbs were sitting.
He started playing the familiar chords of "Piano Man" and there was loud applause.
"I expect you to sing along on the chorus," he said.
Then, he started to sing.
"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.
The regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me,
Makin' love to his tonic and gin."
It seemed like the whole bar started singing along with the chorus. As he looked around at the patrons, he was surprised to see Tim singing along. Ducky and Gibbs weren't, but they may not really know the words. Tony smiled and felt buoyed up by the support he was getting.
He played through the whole song, thinking about how different he felt right now, compared to how he had felt about the song the last time he'd played it. He got to the last verse.
"It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while."
"And the piano it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say man what are you doin' here?"
And again, it seemed like the whole bar joined in to sing that last line. Then, it was into the final chorus.
"Sing us a song, you're the piano man.
Sing us a song tonight.
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright."
He finished the song with a flourish and then he stood and bowed at the raucous applause. Then, he sat back down and started playing again. This song was just for fun. When he'd heard it, he had really enjoyed the staccato introduction and there was almost a playful tone to it, even with the subject of being emotionally manipulated.
A couple of people in the bar knew the song and they provided a kind of impromptu percussion to back him up.
"When she says she wants forgiveness
It's such a clever masquerade
She's so good with her stiletto
You don't even see the blade
You don't see the blade."
He kept going through the song and enjoyed playing the instrumental part in the middle. He couldn't have a saxophone, of course, but he imagined it as he played. Then, he repeated the same staccato before heading into the third verse. Then, he repeated the staccato once more with his "drummers" helping him out. When he finished, he turned around.
"Special thanks to my percussionists!"
More applause.
He played a few more songs and then took his usual break and walked over to the table.
"I'm going to finish the night. You guys don't have to stay the whole time if you don't want to," he said.
"Oh, don't be silly, Anthony," Ducky said. "I haven't been in an establishment like this in years. It's a joy to experience and to see all those you have entertained. I must admit that I had no idea you were so well-versed in Billy Joel's music. Much of it I'm not familiar with."
Tony smiled a little. "Well, when I started, I didn't know it either."
"Of course. Regardless, we will stay until the end, even if some of us might get tired and I won't say who."
Tony laughed and then walked to the bar to get a drink. Jack was there, as usual. Sanchez gave him his usual water.
"You're doing the right thing," Jack said. "I know you're worried about leaving, but you don't sing the same way as you did before. This is right."
"Thanks, Jack."
"And you sound pretty good."
"That must have been hard to admit."
Jack rolled his eyes and gestured.
"Get back to work."
Tony laughed and walked back to the piano with his glass of water. He sat down and played a few more numbers before he felt that he could start doing the songs that meant the most to him. They wouldn't all be obvious, but he felt them all the same.
The first was an up-tempo song, "I Go to Extremes." Some of the lyrics weren't quite how he felt, but he felt the chorus.
"I don't know why I go to extremes.
Too high or too low, there ain't no in betweens.
You can be sure when I'm gone
I won't be out there too long.
Darlin', I don't know why I go to extremes."
He still couldn't explain to himself why all this had happened, but it had and he just needed to navigate his way through. The song was fun to play and people got into it. Then, he switched gears very abruptly and sang "Until the Night" and then, "Summer, Highland Falls" again. When he looked over at the table, he could see Tim looked tired, but he was mouthing the words to the song as Tony played and sang. Why that song had touched Tim in particular, Tony didn't know, but he could tell it meant something to him.
But as he sang, Tony knew he couldn't keep on this track. People enjoyed his slower songs, but he still needed to entertain, even as he worked through his own thoughts and feelings about the coming departure. So he moved into some other songs like "Zanzibar" and "Big Shot" and "Still Rock and Roll to Me." It was getting late, the bar was quieting down, and for his penultimate song, Tony decided to change things up one more time and play "Through the Long Night."
He hoped that Tim would hear this one and that it would mean something to him. This wasn't one of Billy Joel's more popular songs, but that didn't matter.
"Two songs to go. Stay awake through this one and the last one will be worth it," Tony said.
"Why? Is it not Billy Joel?"
"Ha. Never. No, it's one I've been saving. Never performed here and I saved it for my very last song. I knew I'd have to move on eventually, and I had to have something to play when I left. But this one first."
Then, Tony started to play.
"The cold hands
The sad eyes
The dark Irish silence
It's so late
But I'll wait
Through the long night with you
With you"
Tony glanced over a couple of times as he played and went through the other verses. Tim was listening intently. Tony could tell he'd never heard the song before, but after all that they'd both been through, this was an important sentiment that they both felt for each other, that willingness to be there when needed.
And it's so late
But I'll wait
Through the long night with you
With you."
The applause was more thoughtful and muted. Billy Joel had said once that he'd written the song when he had spent the night with someone who was really struggling with life and that person had ended up trusting him enough to fall asleep, and Billy had just stayed the night, being the support the person had needed. He hadn't ever identified the person, only that it was someone he knew. However, the feeling of quiet support was there all through the song and Tony hoped that Tim heard it.
"And now, this will change things up one last time, but this is my final performance, final songs, no encores."
And Tony launched into the song that he'd never performed, because he'd never felt that it was time.
It was time now.
"Sitting here in Avalon
Looking at the pouring rain
Summertime has come and gone
And everybody's home again
Closing down for the season
I found the last of the souvenirs
I can still taste the wedding cake
And it's sweet after all these years
These are the last words I have to say
That's why this took so long to write
There will be other words some other day
But that's the story of my life."
As he launched into the second verse, he could feel the change in the bar. This wasn't his place anymore. Somehow, through the course of singing this song, he was saying good-bye to Joel and really letting him go. He moved into a bridge and then a short instrumental section and into the end of the song.
"And these are the last words I have to say
It's always hard to say goodbye
But now it's time to put this book away
And that's the story of my life."
Tony felt a little choked up as he sang those words. It was the right thing to do. It was necessary, but it was hard to say good-bye to this part of his life. Still, that didn't mean the story was over, just that this part was finished. He continued.
These are the last words I have to say
That's why it took so long to write
There will be other words some other day
Ain't that the story of my life!"
Then, he did a last instrumental section and ended the song. Even with how late it was, the bar exploded with applause and Tony stood and bowed to his appreciative audience. He knew that their standards weren't really high. He wasn't the greatest performer out there, but he had been good enough for what they wanted.
"All right, last call. Closing time," Jack said.
Tony stretched a bit, accepted good wishes from a few who weren't really drunk. Then, he walked over to the three who were there waiting to take him home. Tim looked very tired, but Gibbs and Ducky were both alert as he approached.
"Well, Anthony?" Ducky asked.
Tony nodded. "I'm ready to go home," he said.