She's late. Where is she?
Kylo stands before the windows waiting for Rey to arrive for their daily training. Given what transpired between them last night, he's nervous. He has to force himself not to pace. Instead, he grips his hands into tight fists as he stares out at the Millennium Falcon's lowered boarding ramp.
He has no experience with how the morning after is supposed to work. But after Rey basically threw him out last night, he has lowered his expectations for a sappy romantic reunion that will rekindle the afterglow. In fact, he's fully expecting that Rey will ignore last night until he raises it.
Last night was . . . well, it was both amazing and dissatisfying. Amazing because sex feels so good. He has long worried that his first-timer status might diminish him in a woman's eyes. That she would assume his power and status to equate to a smooth and experienced lover. Because the Supreme Leader can have his pick of women, so he ought to have sown his wild oats. Except that never happened. Thank the Force that Rey didn't seem to care. She was a virgin too, which seemed almost perfect. They learned together. No one was embarrassed.
But did he let down her expectations? He feels a little let down. In hindsight, he fretted over the mechanics of sex when he should have worried over the meaning. He just always assumed that if he and Rey ever went to bed, it would be a climactic emotional catharsis. They would exchange endearments and promises. The Force would approve. It would be momentous for them personally and for the galaxy. But it wasn't. Enthusiastic though she was, Rey was conspicuously silent. He did all the talking. She's always been distant at times, so that's nothing new. But it left him wanting. There's just something deflating about being in bed with a girl you're crazy about and she can't seem to reciprocate beyond kisses. Is she really that emotionally stunted?
He worries that last night scratched the surface of a much deeper problem. Either he's way more into Rey than she is into him, and their night together meant something different for each of them. Or, she's just not ready or able to state her feelings. He had always assumed that they were both needy in their own ways. But maybe that's wrong. Maybe he's needy for attention and commitment she can't or won't give him.
He is a very emotional guy, but he's not good with emotions. It's the consequence of having been raised Jedi. From a young age, he was told to suppress his feelings, a task for which he was especially unsuited. But when he flipped Dark as a young man, that all changed. He was told to unleash the power of his desires to stoke his Force. Now, he alternately bottles up his anxieties and lets them run rampant. It's an ebb and flow of strong feelings that can seem abrupt to the unaware. But what appears to the outside observer as a violent tantrum is the only way he can cope. The cycle typifies what's wrong with the old religions, Kylo firmly believes. Because be the creed Jedi or Sith, it inevitably promotes extremes. He feels victimized by both ideologies. It makes him determined to chase the elusive concept of balance.
And that's why he is determined to make things work with Rey. All he really needs is for Rey to give up the Resistance to be with him and work for balance. The rest of the ideas he threw out last night are negotiable. Well, basically, Rey can name her terms. He's ready and willing to capitulate. But he frets now because she is very late for their daily training session.
Where is she?
Did she lie awake half the night reliving their interlude? Did she glory in the remembrance of their lovemaking? Has she worried that she erred in what she said or what she failed to say in the intensity of the moment? Because he did all of those things into the wee hours. And now, all he can do is fret some more. Sex was supposed to seal the deal for their future together. But now in the morning after, things seem as unsettled as ever.
With Rey, he can never be certain if his intentions are understood. That's partly her lack of trust, but also their very skew perspectives. He believed Rey last night when she said she wants to move forward. But he worries now that he wrongly assumed those words and their subsequent passion to be the basis for a commitment. Could they have talked past one another? When he left last night, Rey was upset. He didn't know whether it was from regret, confusion, or rejection. Her mind was a mess of contradictions every time he took a peek.
Is she coming? No. The ramp is still empty. Looking for something—anything—to do, he smooths a hand over his hair. He carefully combed it down to make it look neat. He hopes she notices. He wants to look his best self as he states his case again this morning.
He has been exceedingly patient to avoid scaring Rey off. He has offered his opinions, but not insisted on them. It's a lowkey approach that is very unlike him, but he wants Rey to come around to his way of thinking on her own. It's been working. For while she says she's committed to the Resistance, she's been gone from them well over a month. This is a very critical time for their cause to be without their Jedi, but Rey seems fine with that. It tells him that his arguments about balancing the Force have made headway. It tells him that she values his training. Going to bed together last night was also an important step. Putting aside its personal meaning, the act is proof that Rey has already broken with the old Jedi Code. His strategic mind can't help but conclude that Rey is moving away her cause, her friends, and her ideals. That's all good news for him.
Maybe he could have closed the deal last night, but he didn't want to push. He didn't dare risk a second rejection if she felt too pressured. And he didn't want to ruin a special evening. But that's over and his leg is suitably healed, so it's time to go. He doesn't trust Darth Plagueis. He and Rey have lingered here too long already. It is time to reach agreement and take action.
Is she coming? What's taking so long? He keeps checking and it's stressing him out.
"My Daughter is late today." It's Darth Plagueis plodding into the room.
"Is she? I hadn't noticed," Kylo pretends.
The Sith Master raises an eyebrow but doesn't call him on the lie. Instead, he disses Rey in his usual disapproving-but-still-indulgent fatherly sort of way. "She's a lot to handle, that one."
Nervous Kylo vents, "All she knows is conflict. It's her default setting. She only understands opposition." At times, Rey seemed totally befuddled by what he proposed last evening. Like she wanted to accept, but didn't know how to actually agree with him.
"That is her life of deprivation showing. The legacy of Jakku will last a lifetime."
"I hope not," he sighs under his breath.
Plagueis hears him. "It will. Take it from an old Sith. I know a thing or two about pain. Yes, pain empowers," the old Master quotes the time-honored Dark maxim, "but only so much and only for so long. There are limits to what Darkness can achieve. Those yellow eyes our forefathers so prized bore witness to as much fragility as strength."
"Why don't you have yellow eyes?" Kylo has wondered this for some time.
"They have faded through the years as I have pulled back from Darkness," Plagueis answers. "I can disguise them now, whereas before they were constant."
"Show me."
"As you wish." Darth Plagueis blinks and reveals gleaming yellow eyes. They are the color of an apex predator stalking its victim in the night. It's a sickly, jaundiced hue that looks as painful as it does scary. And also, strangely weak with their bloodshot character.
Kylo makes a face. "Does that hurt?"
"Darkness hurts plenty," the Muun answers glibly, shooting him a sideways glance. "You know that."
"I don't have yellow eyes . . ." Despite Snoke's best efforts, he was never a proper Sith.
"That is a good thing, Apprentice. It speaks to how much Light remains in you."
"Did my grandfather have yellow eyes?" Kylo wonders. Vader was the original Skywalker, after all.
"That is a question for Vanee or Astral. I never saw my son without the mask," Plagueis sighs.
"I wish I'd known him . . ." Kylo cringes once he realizes he spoke that thought aloud.
But the Sith Master by his side doesn't fault him for the hero worship Snoke once encouraged. "You are much like him for reasons that have nothing to do with a mask or an empire. You have his idealism and his heart, in addition to his power. Sheev Palpatine was quite terrified of his Apprentice."
"Because he was the Chosen One," Kylo supplies the obvious reason.
"Yes. But also because Lord Vader was extremely effective. The man could achieve almost anything. It's why Sheev kept him on a very short leash. Unfettered Lord Vader was an existential threat."
"You're unfettered. Why isn't this your big moment?" Kylo broaches a topic he probably shouldn't touch—what Plagueis really has planned.
The towering Muun grunts. "This is my big moment. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kylo growls.
"Lord Ren, my progeny have toppled governments and ruled the galaxy . . . all to fail in time. Those goals are ephemeral. Do not chase them. The only lasting achievement is to rule the Force. Long have I waited for my ideas to be put into practice, for the promise of balance long foretold to reach fruition. You and my Daughter will be the ones to do it. You will be legendary," he purrs with relish.
"Conveniently, it also achieves your revenge on Sidious," Kylo observes.
Darth Plagueis' answering smile is sly. "My former Apprentice went rogue generations ago and he still bedevils me. I shall be delighted to see him meet the Force. It is a win-win, is it not? I win and the galaxy wins."
"That's the best possible spin you could put on it," Kylo replies dryly.
"It is your revenge as well," his host points out. "Sidious made you a slave to his puppet Snoke, stole the First Order out from under you, and killed your girlfriend."
Is Rey his girlfriend? Kylo hopes so. But the longer it takes her to show her face this morning, the more uncertain he becomes.
Plagueis keeps explaining his scheme. "My Daughter will view killing Sidious as justice for Alderaan, Hosnia, and the Republic. He's an old school Sith that the Jedi wannabe in her can easily rationalize killing."
Kylo has to acknowledge Plagueis' wily brilliance. All the right incentives are in place. He and Rey even teamed up on Exogol of their own accord to oppose Sidious. So getting them to ally for a second attempt doesn't seem like much of a stretch. Both he and Rey still want to save the galaxy. The problem is that they have very different visions of what that means.
Even now, Kylo keeps peeking over Plagueis' shoulder out the window, hoping to see Rey stride down the ramp of the Falcon. She's never been this late before. He's giving her five more minutes and then he is boarding the ship to fetch her.
Old Plagueis keeps droning on. "There is an ancient legend of the Force from before the days of the old Sith Empire . . . it predates even the early days of the original Republic. It speaks of a Father, his Daughter, and a Son. They were a feuding bunch at times, like all families. The siblings loved one another even as they bickered. And they respected their Father even if they didn't always agree with him. The Son skewed Dark, with tendencies to violence. The Daughter skewed Light, with a penchant for moralizing. The Father kept the peace between them both as a buffer. He was the balance between them."
"And you think you are this Father figure?" Kylo surmises.
"I can only hope," Plagueis answers. "Ah! Here she comes." The Muun turns expectantly towards the window.
"Rey's coming?" He gulps down his nervous excitement as he peeks around his host's shoulder. Sure enough, Jakku's most famous scavenger trots down the ramp and across the landing pad.
There is a faint smile tugging at the lips of old Plagueis. "I will leave you two alone."
"Wait—you're going?"
"Apprentice, you're on your own for this conversation." The comment leaves Kylo wondering just how much the old guy knows. "I'd wish you good luck but well . . . you know . . ." the Muun chuckles.
Kylo groans. For every Force user knows, "There's no such thing as luck."
"There is the Force. May the Force be with you." Plagueis then adds man-to-man, "Be ruthless as you woo her. Women don't always know what they want. When in doubt, promise them everything."
Kylo feels his face flame. Now, he's certain that Plagueis knows the gist of what transpired last night.
The Muun vacates the room and now it's just him.
"Rey." She walks in and her face and the Force tell him that she's as nervous as he is. And actually, that's sort of a relief.
"Good morning." She doesn't smile.
"How are you?" Is she going to acknowledge last night?
No, she doesn't. It's like every other intimacy they have shared—Rey pretends it never happened. She stands halfway across the room and answers, "I'm fine." Even he knows that for a lie. Women are never fine when they say they're fine. Usually, they are anything but fine.
But he lets it slide. He's prepared to ignore all awkwardness with aplomb. "Good. So, are we—"
"I'll drop you anywhere you want," she interrupts, her words coming out in a rush. "Name the system."
Kylo's eyes narrow. "We are leaving together."
"Yes. And then, I'll drop you off on my way to Coruscant."
"Coruscant," he repeats softly.
"Yes, Coruscant. I'm going back to the Resistance."
Fuck. This is not good. He clenches his fists, and fights to keep his cool. All along, he has known she is a flight risk. But fleeing to her friends seems like an especially personal rejection after last night.
"I will keep your secret," Rey promises. "I won't tell anyone that you're alive or where you hide."
"We are doing this together."
"Yes. I will sneak away to see you when I can. We can train together then. But I want to help the Resistance end the war and set up the new government. At least until they get things up and running . . . "
He swallows his immediate objection and asks, "How long is that?" Is she talking weeks? Months? He might be able to let her delay some if that's what it will take.
She answers, "Until there is a new Senate."
"That could be a year."
"I think the current timetable is fourteen to eighteen months."
He digests this news, wondering, "What are you personally going to do planning elections?"
That's when her answers go from bad to worse. "Poe Dameron has asked me to be the liaison to the Senate. Sort of like how the Jedi High Council used to advise the Chancellor in the days of the Old Republic. There will be an interim Chancellor appointed soon—probably one of the Senate survivors who was off-world from Hosnia. They will hold office temporarily until the elections when the Senate will pick a new Chancellor for a full term. Poe wants me on Coruscant to work with the interim Chancellor, and then eventually their replacement."
"I see," he hisses, his eyes hard. "So you're everyone's token Jedi now?"
She flushes at his derision. "It's a nod to the past, I know. I'm not sure the position will have any true power, but Poe seems to think it will be what I make of it."
He could care less about ceremonial duties and feel-good advisor status. He cares about one thing: "Does the position include rebuilding the Jedi Order?"
"That's where you come in. You and I will work together to balance the Force to safeguard the Republic from Darth Sidious."
"That's not what I asked."
Rey fidgets. "You said yourself that we must pass on what we learn. So, at some point, I will take on students. But the new Jedi Order I create won't be like the past," she hastens to assure him. "It will reflect what we discover."
"We?"
She nods but adds, "You'll have to remain in the background."
Well, obviously. Under her scenario, he's her dirty, Dark secret. Kylo glares at her.
Rey starts making her case. "Think of it as a reformation of the Jedi way. We throw out the bad parts and keep the good. The emphasis will be on balance and respect for both sides of the Force."
"But it will be allied with the Republic and called Jedi?" he counters.
"I was thinking of going back to the ancient Je'daii name."
"As in the Je'daii of Tython?"
"Yes. I read about them in Luke's books."
Of course, she did. "Then you read that the Je'daii Order and its quest for balance ultimately failed. Tython was a war zone on and off for thousands of years afterwards."
"They may have failed at balance, but they tried for it," Rey argues weakly. "Like we will try for it . . . "
Her proposal is preposterous. "You want me—me!—to help you rebuild the Jedi Order from behind the scenes?"
"Don't get hung up on what it's called. It will be our teaching, not your uncle's. We will be modern and moderate in our approach. No forbidden Dark Side—"
"No forbidden attachments?" he goads.
She flushes. "That's right. We can take a fresh look at the entire Jedi Code."
Does she hear what she's saying? Can't she see she is repeating Luke Skywalker's failure? Kylo is beyond disappointed. He's incensed. "You're still holding on. Stop holding on!" he hollers.
Rey digs in. "I am trying to ground the future in the past. To give it a connection to the Jedi wisdom. Ben, if I could openly acknowledge your participation, I would! That way, it would be clear that we are combining the best of the two Force traditions, Jedi and Sith. But I can't do that without risking you. And no one in the Republic is going to accept anyone trained by Snoke or Sidious as an authority figure on the Force. The Sith are too closely associated with the Empire and the First Order."
"So I'm your Plagueis. The idea man in exile?" he surmises sourly.
"I envision our work to be truly collaborative."
He dismisses her spin. "It's the past all over again." It's precisely what he's trying to avoid.
"People understand the past," Rey contends. "Look, no one will care what heresy I teach so long as we call ourselves Jedi and meet the public's expectations for what we look like and what we do. We will be Jedi in name only in many respects."
"But you're the good guys, so it's okay?"
"Well . . . yes." She answers his sarcasm seriously.
He hears the unspoken corollary loud and clear: that he's the bad guy. Rey's insistence on simplistic Jedi morality isn't surprising, but it is discouraging. He thought they had moved past all of this. He thought she had come to see things in a more nuanced fashion.
He probably shouldn't go there, but he has to know how this impacts them personally. So he hazards the question: "What about us?"
"I told you—I will hide you. I will protect you. We will work together—"
"With you on Coruscant and me in exile?" That doesn't sound like a couple. It sounds very arm's length.
She is defensive. "You know I wish things were different! But you're the guy who destroyed Luke's temple. How could you be acknowledged as a founding member of the new Jedi Order?"
He fumes in silence. Because she makes them sound like coworkers, not lovers. Like he's her off-world Dark Side consultant she'll bounce ideas off of from time to time. The problem is clear-he sullies her shiny Resistance heroine brand.
"I'd be taking an awful risk doing this," she reminds him. "A lot of people might view what I'm doing as treason. But I think under the circumstances, it's the right choice."
Under the circumstances . . . Yep, she definitely views this as a strategic political decision and not a personal commitment. Rey doesn't even seem torn about leaving him behind for the Republic. Duty calls and she goes running. Rey is not quite cold in her delivery of the bad news, but she is pragmatic and brusque. It hurts. They were supposed to do this together. So much for his sheepish romantic dreams of an epic love affair. So much for his hopes for a secret, forbidden union that would make history.
It's yet another rejection and it's a highly personal one. This isn't a rebuff in Snoke's throne room after an impromptu vaguely political, vaguely religious, vaguely romantic overture while the outcome of a war hung in the balance. This is Rey turning down a future together with him, uncomplicated by galactic politics, focused entirely on a mission to balance the Force and defeat Darth Sidious. He didn't dictate the terms. He left things open. He was trying to make her happy. Last night, he attempted to spell out what he needed from her—namely, her acceptance and buy-in that they would live free of the restraints of the Jedi and the Sith and separate and apart from the Republic and the First Order. In hiding, in exile, they would study, learn, and teach. They would be together and one day maybe raise a family. It is the perfect plan since they would leave behind all of the things that made them enemies to plot a new future together. And yet, again he finds himself rejected. He feels deeply misled and very, very hurt.
Kylo sneers his disgust. "You just can't let it die, can you? Let the past die!" he insists, pumping his fist.
Rey shakes her head. "I can't."
"You mean you won't! You're too afraid!" He shoots her a hard look. "You are putting a huge target on your back for Sidious—you realize that, right?"
She lifts her chin. "I'll take the risk."
Yes, of course, she will. This girl has Light Side martyr written all over her. It's why she rushed to Exogol without him.
Kylo can feel his shoulders start to rise and fall as he clenches and unclenches his fists. It's how he keeps control when his Darkness surges. "You didn't think you should tell me any of this last night?" he chokes. Last night before you fucked me and threw me out.
"I told you I needed to think . . . " She doesn't meet his eyes.
"You never had any intention of leaving to be with me, did you?" Damn, that sounded like he is whining . . . and maybe he is. But this is a huge loss for him personally and for the galaxy. Clearly, he has failed to persuade Rey of the merits of his views or of himself.
"Last night was the first time we discussed any of this with details," she reminds him. "Don't claim that you were misled."
"I misled myself," he realizes aloud. He misjudged the situation. He especially misjudged her. She doesn't want him. At least, not as he is.
His burgeoning temper now overflows. Kylo rages, "I'm offering you everything and it's not enough! You still need to be the new Luke Skywalker! You can't let that Jedi hero role go!"
"Ben—"
"I don't have an empire to offer you this time. But I didn't think you cared about that—"
"I don't."
"I can't offer you fame and position. I can't compete with advising the Chancellor."
"Ben—"
"All I can offer is training and myself. That's not enough!" He turns away to pace, running a hand through his hair. Messing up the orderly presentation he had hoped would impress her. What a fool he has been in this and in everything.
He mutters, "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You turned me down once before when I offered more."
"I'm sorry, Ben. But I won't go into exile with you. Not when the Republic needs me." The Force tells him she is being honest with him. He can respect her for that, at least.
"I think my plan is a good compromise," Rey cajoles. "If you can look beyond the form to the substance, you will see it is meaningful change. More than ever, the galaxy needs hope and stability. A new, better version of the Jedi Order can help things. Ben," she steps forward and extends her hand, "I want you to join me in this. I need your help."
She's so naively optimistic, he wants to cringe. She also thinks she's being reasonable, which might be even worse.
"Just think about it," she wheedles when he responds with sullen silence. "I won't ask you to call yourself a Jedi. I won't ask you to act on behalf of the Republic. You can be who you are—"
"The dead Supreme Leader of the beaten First Order?" he snaps. "The Dark Sider you keep hidden?" Frustrated, he complains, "When Sidious returns, it will be Jedi versus Sith all over again—"
"The New Jedi versus the Old Sith," she corrects him. But she's playing semantics. Rey still understands the Force in a moral dichotomy of Dark and Light. It's everything he was trying to move past.
He ceases his pacing now. He stares Rey down, glowering. "You disappoint me. You disappoint me greatly."
She grinds out, "I am trying to find a middle ground."
"There is no compromise here! This is Luke's plan all over again."
"No, it's not!"
"It is! I won't be a part of this!" He lays down an ultimatum with the only leverage he has. "If you move forward with your folly, I won't be a part of it."
Rey has the gall to look dismayed. "What are you saying?"
"No! I'm saying no! Count me out." His offer was a package deal—him and his knowledge. Take it or leave it.
"But I can't do it without you!" she sputters. "I don't have the books. I need your help!"
"Not enough to do it my way," he gripes.
They are at a standoff now. Each frustrated as the tension escalates. She looks as disappointed as he feels.
"You just can't admit that you've lost, can you?" she fumes. "You're unwilling to do anything that works with the Republic you hate . . ."
That's not it. Well, maybe that's partially it. But the issue is more fundamental: the Jedi need to end. He wants a clean break with the past. He appeals, "Rey, don't do this. Don't set yourself against the will of the Force—"
"The galaxy needs the Jedi—it needs heroes—just like it needs balance—"
"My uncle was a hero until he was the villain. So will it be with you."
She takes umbrage. "You underestimate my power!"
"No, I don't. I know how capable you are. But even you have limits to what you can discover on your own. You know the bare basics of the Light but you know nothing of the Dark Side. Careful, Rey," he sneers. "Darkness is dangerous. It can consume you. And then, that vision you fear will come true."
She plays it cool. "I can handle it."
He calls her bluff. "Pride goes before the fall, Jedi."
"Who's a Jedi?" It's Darth Plagueis storming in. Kylo has no doubt he's been listening in all along. But the old Sith plays dumb. "There are no Jedi left."
"There's about to be a New Jedi Order led by your Daughter," he announces grimly.
Plagueis turns to Rey. "Is this true?" he booms in the same tone someone else might ask 'are you a fucking idiot?'
"It's true," Rey answers. She turns back to him, daring to ignore the visibly pissed Plagueis. She tries to explain herself. "No one will ever accept you . . . not after what you and the First Order have done. Ben, you'll be an outcast-a fugitive! I don't want that life. Not when I can contribute on a level that Poe is offering."
Kylo shoots her a withering look of contempt. "I guess you can't do much actual damage since you're so ignorant."
"I'll get him to teach me." Rey gestures to Plagueis.
"Good luck with that," Kylo predicts. He turns to the iconoclast Sith. "Tell Vanee to double check the lock on the vault. She's a scavenger which is another name for thief. Watch those books and holochrons."
Darth Plagueis now rumbles sternly, "Daughter, what foolishness is this?"
She keeps ignoring the Muun. "Ben—"
"You disappoint me . . . you disappoint me greatly!" Kylo rails again, this time at a roar. But he doesn't stop there. He unloads with a crescendo of viciousness that evidences the intensity of his hurt. "You're impulsive and immature which is a bad mix with your power . . . so desperate for approval and legitimacy to whitewash your trash background . . . you were nobody and now you get the chance to be somebody, but you can't see it's a trap . . . I'd call you naive, except you were warned. So I think that just leaves stubborn and arrogant!"
"Yeah?" she jeers. "Well, your cynicism is why the First Order lost! People want hope and happiness, not order. Exogol proved that when millions responded to our call. Ben, you were born to everything a child could ever need and you squandered it—all for power! All you love is power!"
"Luke—"
"You had plenty of chances after the Temple! You turned them all down! You were someone and now you're no one . . . you want me to be no one with you. I guess misery really does love company," she snarls.
He smirks. "You didn't mind my company last night."
Rey blinks and blushes. Then she turns away and mutters, "You're the mistake I keep making . . . I know better . . . it won't happen again."
Damn right, it won't. He taunts, "I've seen you shoot lightning-you'll never be a Jedi. You'll never be as good as Luke Skywalker." She's too Dark already.
"That's fine!" Rey snaps. "Because you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader!"
"Children! Cease this name calling! There are serious matters at stake to discuss." Darth Plagueis has heard enough.
But Kylo is just getting started. He's done with disapproving, emotionally unavailable women in his life. He had a mother too busy to deal with him beyond complaints and lectures. He doesn't need a girlfriend who also chooses the Republic over him. Staring back at Rey, Kylo realizes that the short time she trained with his mother had an enormous impact on her. Leia Organa is clearly Rey's role model, along with Luke Skywalker in close second. His family might be gone, but their legacy remains alive and well. Kylo is heartsick now as he realizes that the past won't ever die unless Rey dies too. And that's not what he wants . . . that has never been what he wants. All along, he has been trying to persuade Rey to his side. To convince her to let the past die.
The flip side of hurt is fury. It consumes him now. Beckoning him back to Darkness, where strong emotions empower and pain lifts you up. After being reborn from the Force scant weeks ago and spending his days ever since groping back long forgotten Light Side skills, there is a heady comfort to the familiar and an ease to the tried and true. The Dark Side now welcomes him home. And damn, does it feel good.
Plagueis senses it. Alarmed, he orders, "Stand down, Lord Ren."
"Your eyes . . . " Rey gasps. She stares in horror. "Ben, are you okay?"
He silences her concern with shot of Force lightning that escapes before he can stop it. It's unleashed on instinct, for he wants to hurt the girl who hurts him. The shot of Dark power sweeps Rey off her feet. She lands flat in a sprawl with a deep grunt. She looks to have the wind knocked out of her, for she languishes there looking stunned.
"Apprentice!" Darth Plagueis barks sharply, "That's enough!" The old Muun's eyes flash the same feral yellow he saw earlier. There is no doubt that the exiled mastermind means business. He will not see his Daughter harmed. Well, that sentiment might be a lot more understandable were Rey not a violent scavenger who shoots and stabs men she goes to bed with. She's no fragile flower in need of chivalrous protection. If anything, he's the one in danger from this heartbreaking Jedi bitch. She deserves lightning and more.
Fuming Kylo is flush with rage and that makes him flush with power. The first promise of Darkness is that you can take whatever you want. He does that now with curt efficiency.
"That lightsaber belongs to me." He plucks his grandfather's sword from Rey's waist with the Force. When she reacts to resist, he throws her clear across the room with his power. Like the lightning, it's not hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough to make his point.
"Apprentice!" Plagueis roars. Kylo feels a sudden, tight constriction at his throat. It's a warning that releases as soon as it is felt.
Which is good because he's not done yet. He jabs a finger towards the window through which the Millennium Falcon is visible. "That ship belongs to me as well. I'm taking it now."
"Where are you going?" Rey shrieks.
Where is he going? To finish what he started. To finish what his grandfather started. Namely, bringing peace and order to the galaxy and killing that fucker Darth Sidious. He will get his revenge and balance the Force . . . alone. He is a Chosen One and he doesn't need help from some semi-literate orphan girl who constantly finds him wanting. Maybe this decision is proving the point that in his family, the personal is political. That the Skywalker clan's rifts become civil wars. But he doesn't care. He's tried for years to do things others' ways. He's done with all that. Time to solve the galaxy's problems on his own terms. And if Rey isn't with him, she can be his enemy if she chooses.
The tension in the room is palpable as the Force swirls about them. Buffeting his mind with a familiar frenzy. He has felt this strange sensation before. First, when he logged on to the holonet on a random Tuesday to be confronted with a blaring headline that Senator Leia Organa Solo is the secret daughter of Darth Vader. Next, as he stood bereft, alone, and confused amid the wreckage of Luke's Temple surveying the bloody aftermath of the Force shockwave. He felt this weirdness once more during the moment he first knelt before Snoke to pledge allegiance as Apprentice. Again, as he stood on the bridge of the Finalizer watching Starkiller Base obliterate Hosnia. It was in the back of his mind when Rey arrived to the Supremacy in the Falcon's escape pod. Also, when he landed a TIE fighter next to Rey's X-wing on Exogol and prepared to confront Darth Sidious. He knows this feeling presages change. It teases the work of fate and it augers destiny. At each major turning point of his meandering life, the Force has been there as a harbinger. It's here now.
His past words to Rey now echo in his mind: free will doesn't oppose fate, it enacts it. And so, his decision now is a choice, but not a choice. Ordinary people get to direct their lives. But not favorites of the Force. Not Skywalkers.
Wary Rey on the floor is waiting for an answer.
Darth Plagueis looks like he longs to say something, but is forcing himself to remain silent.
Taking a deep, fortifying breath, Kylo states the truth without explanation. "I'm going back to the First Order."
It's what he has been tempted to do for weeks now. He has seethed from afar as the movement to reestablish the Empire languished when it once commanded all the major systems. Maybe it's too late to change that situation, but at least he can be there for their last stand. He thinks it's what his grandfather would do if he were in his position. And who knows? Maybe the Force will be with him.
Ashen faced Rey struggles to her feet. "No—wait! Ben, don't do this. Don't go this way—"
He's heard that line before. "Do not follow me!" he hisses. "I don't want you around! I am tired of people who want to change me-to fix me-to reform me-to redeem me. I decide who I am!" He shoots a hard look first at Plagueis and then at Rey. "Not him and not you!"
Rey tries to talk him down. "This is a mistake! Ben, if we handle it right, in time the Resistance might allow you—"
"No! I'll die with the Order before I go begging to the Republic. And I will never, ever be a Jedi," he grinds out.
"But if you go back, you'll only help Darth Sidious!" she wails.
Beside her, old Plagueis nods.
He disagrees. "What better way to find him than to join those who support him?" The first place to begin looking for information about his enemy's whereabouts will be among his remaining embedded Final Order loyalists.
"Ben, you'll get killed!"
"She could be right," Plagueis weighs in.
But that threat is hollow. Death does not concern him. "I have died before. I do not fear death. I only fear failure," he boasts.
He starts striding for the door as Rey panics and shrieks to Plagueis, "Do something! Stop him!"
"No."
"No?"
"No," Darth Plagueis the Wise's answer is final. The Sith Master nods across to him in solemn farewell. "May the Force be with you, my Lord." That the meddling Muun declines to intervene is actually encouraging, if unexpected.
Rey isn't giving up. She rushes forward. "You said we are strongest together—wait, Ben—"
He intercepts her and thrusts her back bodily. "Stop calling me that! Whoever you think that man is, he isn't me!" He hasn't been Ben Solo since he accidently committed mass murder at the Temple. Ben Solo is the boy he was born, but Kylo Ren is the man he has become. She needs to accept that.
"Are you Darth Ren now, is that it?" Rey demands as again he whirls to leave. "Going back to pretend to be a monster in a mask? To be the Supreme Leader of a dead empire? Because I'm offering you more!"
Kylo pauses on the threshold and slowly turns. He holds Rey's gaze steadily as he speaks with grim resignation. "I think I'm just beginning to understand who I am. Because for as long as I can remember, people have been telling me who I should be. Luke. Snoke. My mother. Him," he gestures to Plagueis. "Even you. Everyone has a cause for me to fight and a legacy for me to uphold. That's over!" he hisses. "I'm not anyone's Padawan or Apprentice any more. I answer to no one but the Force!"
His chest heaving and his composure failing, Kylo departs for the landing pad. He clasps his grandfather's sword tightly as he tries not to limp. If nothing else, he will march away with his dignity intact. He's off to rejoin a lost cause in his murdered father's rundown ship that destroyed two Death Stars. This kneejerk decision is probably foolish suicide, but Kylo doesn't care. Something about this moment feels very right and incredibly freeing.
From behind him, Plagueis' scornful disapproval carries. "Congratulations on your first resurrection, Daughter. I didn't revive Kylo Ren. You did. I hope you're happy. Now, matters are worse."
Predictably, Rey starts moralizing. "Don't blame me for his bad decisions . . ." Kylo never hears the rest. He's out of earshot now and he's glad.
END PART ONE
More to come.