If you're not with me, you're my enemy . . .

That's not how any of us want Reylo to end up, but those are the traditional stakes, no? This story is about Rey and Kylo trying to transcend the cycle of conflict in the Force. This isn't your typical fix-it fic. This is a blueenvelopes story, and that means your HEA is neither guaranteed nor easy. So, stop now if you want something sugary.

This is a story I swore I would never write. Mostly because I was so annoyed by episode 9 that I didn't want to dignify it with my efforts. I won't make these story notes a film review, but let me say that I have lots of issues with TROS. Like many fan fic authors, I decided to solve the problem of Episode 9 by retconning the whole thing. I wrote my own fix-it fic, but I didn't do it the usual way. It wasn't Reylo. It wasn't even set in the sequel era. Twilight of the Gods is the story of the Chosen One Darth Vader attempting to subvert Darth Sidious with the help of Luke Skywalker and the Sith who could cheat death, none other than Darth Plagueis himself, the undead Sith Master of Darth Sidious. We've all seen ROTJ-the assassination plot fails in Twilight of the Gods. It fails because Luke Skywalker doesn't trust Darth Vader and remains committed to the tenets of the old Jedi Order. Moreover, it fails because at the end of the disastrous Death Star 2 throne room confrontation, Darth Sidious isn't even dead. Poor Vader's sacrifice doesn't balance the Force but it allows Luke to live to continue his father's quest for moderation. The story ends with Darth Plagueis disappointed and retreating into exile. He resolves to wait and see what the Force does next through its latest favorites, Luke and Leia. Darth Plagueis will take a hands-off approach since his meddling had such awful results.

How is that a true retcon? What does that mean for the sequel trilogy? Fast forward thirty years and the young Jedi ideologue Luke Skywalker has discovered the drawbacks of the old Light Side religion. He knows he hasn't balanced the Force in any lasting way. He knows both Plagueis and Sidious are out there, biding their time to advance their competing agendas and subvert his efforts. Sure enough, he loses his nephew Ben Solo to the Dark Side to a guy who calls himself Snoke. Who is Snoke? He's a clone puppet of Darth Plagueis controlled by Darth Sidious in an epic troll move. Darth Sidious wants to make sure that if his old Master were ever to attempt to return, it would confuse the heck out of the galaxy. The fancy gold dress, the tacky throne room . . . it's all Darth Sidious gaslighting the galaxy while making fun of his dignified, gentlemanly old Master who would recoil from that gaudy excess. Meanwhile, the real Darth Plagueis stays true to his resolve and waits on the sidelines to see how the Skywalker twins + the New Republic versus the Skywalker nephew + the First Order versus Darth Sidious + the Final Order works out.

I was going to leave it there—open ended and unfinished with Plagueis approaching Rey at the end of Twilight. Why? Because I didn't like the way episode 9 continued the Reylo relationship. Rey is very hostile and lost for much of the film, which seems like a strange leadup for her resolute stance against Sidious. I would have appreciated her flailing around if I thought it was a prelude to a possible fall to Darkness. But Rey is very resolved to fight Sidious. Did anyone actually believe she was ever tempted to join him? There was no dramatic tension there for me.

For his part, Kylo seems to make decisions designed to advance the plot for Rey—not really for himself. His redemption arc doesn't work for me. From the confrontation with Han Solo to the Exogol healing and kiss, the Reylo storyline seems jarring and forced. The big kiss wasn't romantic for me because Rey doesn't even seem to like Kylo, let alone LIKE Kylo. If she loves anyone in episode 9, it is some amorphous concept of Ben Solo who she has anointed prince charming in her own mind. Was the man who appeared at Exogol actually Ben Solo? I don't know. He didn't have enough lines to establish who he was in my mind, let alone why he was there. Moreover, the Reylo relationship in episode 9 seems entirely one-sided. Kylo is into Rey, but she's mostly into Ben Solo. Kylo's the man she fights and stabs—it's hardly a healthy, mutual relationship. These two do very little talking and Rey is usually the one who starts the fighting. Kylo seems to show more restraint than she does.

Once it was clear episode 9 would be a redemption story, I knew Kylo was going to die. You know the trope: HEA means the bad guys get punished and we all cheer. It's messier if the bad guy is redeemed—what then? He has to die or else the story gets complicated. How do you deal with the former Kylo Ren? How does he atone? Do you punish him? Is there a trial? How are you ever certain he won't revert to doing bad things again? Does he wander around the galaxy anonymously doing good deeds? Is he some reclusive Force monk teaching how not to live your life? Rather than resolve all that, the writers took the easy way out and killed him. It's a noble sacrifice that makes us all feel good even if it robs the character of a key part of their struggle.

There was never going to be episode 9 Reylo moment without Kylo dying—the character arc that would allow Disney to get comfortable with Reylo was always going to lead to Kylo's death. The simplistic morality play that is the traditional SW universe demands it. Now, there were hints in episode 8 that we might get beyond that concept to some true moral complexity, but unfortunately it was abandoned. At the end of episode 9, the Jedi win, the Sith die, the Republic/Resistance triumphs and the Empire/First Order/Final Order ends. Happy everyone?

I wasn't.

Kylo's character is by far the most interesting of the sequel trilogy. The character has something to contribute, but episode 9 doesn't let him. Kylo's experiences and choices no longer matter when he dies redeemed and becomes a cautionary tale of what not to do. It also traps the larger SW universe in the cycle of bad guys rising/good guy underdogs winning that seems to be set on repeat. Dare I say it? It's boring. A few callbacks are fun, but the whole story of the sequel trilogy being a callback is boring. We've seen it episode 9 before and it (ROTJ) was better the first time. (I will also argue that we've seen episode 7 before and it (ANH) was better the first time.)

If I were writing episode 9, I would have made the First Order ally with the Resistance to oppose Darth Sidious. It would have been a story about people with strongly held, often diametrically opposed ideas coming together. It would have been about compromise between competing value sets. It would have been a story about trust and risk taking. About principled people who are forced to bend those principles in the face of harsh reality. In a year during which there have been riots in the streets and riots in the US Capitol, this is a narrative we desperately need: how do very different people—often with sincere and legitimate grievances-find common ground?

Now, stories about the struggle to balance the Force are nothing new for me. I have been writing stories about balance for some time (Twilight of the Gods, Versions of You, Son of Darkness, Ghosts of the Past/The Chosen One). In each story, the Sith/First Order/bad guys are in charge and they are groping towards balance from the perspective of the Dark Side. The struggle is usually to find the moderating role of the Light within a Dark Side controlled empire. This story is different in that the Light Side has won and the issue becomes what role can a Dark Sider play. Rey has her own proposal for Kylo (including a 'Join me!" line) in the last chapter. We've come full circle on who stands in the position of strength to make the offer.

Epilogue brings back meddling Plagueis who revives Kylo. Rey is a sort of a reluctant winner and Darth Sidious is out there somewhere. No one trusts anyone and yet none can succeed entirely on their own. So alliances must be made—stay tuned.

Rey has some doubts about the Jedi but she's generally committed to goodness and Light, which she sees as one in the same. She's untrained and overpowered, with a strong streak of Darkness. I departed from the Palpatine's granddaughter backstory to make Rey a child of the Force. I think that's a much better explanation for her character, honestly. She's fascinated by Kylo—mostly because of who he was and who she hopes he can be. That fascination deepens with the more time the two characters spend with one another. But in the end, Rey still has a hard time accepting Kylo for who he is. That's in large part driven by her own fear of Darkness. She's also continuing her motivation that began in TFA—to find who she is. At this point, that's less a question of who her parents are than it is who she will become. Rey's not entirely sure what she wants, but she's about to enter a very big role with the Republic. And hey—cut her some slack. Given her meager background and her youth, she doesn't have all the answers yet. I didn't either at age 20-21.

Revived Kylo is not some reformed, saintly Ben Solo. He has great qualities, but plenty of bad ones too. Like his grandfather, Kylo sees Darkness as a tool more than a goal. He's less evil than expedient and pragmatic. Also like Vader, Kylo has a truly evil boss who makes the big decisions. Blame the really awful parts of the Empire and the First Order on Darth Sidious, not the Skywalkers. Kylo keeps trying to break free of the past, but Rey refuses. At the end of Part 1, that leads him to double down on Darkness. But as anyone who's ever read a blueenvelopes story knows, the farther you go to extremes, the harder the pull to the middle. And so, the Darker Kylo becomes, the more he will crave the Light. That is the nature of the Chosen Ones who are born of the Force itself. They veer to extremes time and again.

I have a whole head canon of Republic/First Order politics (as set forth most precisely in the unfinished The Searchers). Expect some of that here. As usual, I am making this up as I go and I only have a vague idea of a plot. I don't write story outlines or map out chapters. I write what comes to mind, and the conflicts between the characters generally drive the plot. I'm going to strive to update weekly. Not sure how that will play out since as of yesterday my husband has COVID-19. I'm hoping we all don't get sick, but who knows? We haven't had the best luck the last few years. Thanks for reading. There will be more to come.