Sorry it took me so long to update! Things have been crazy over here and I haven't had a lot of time to myself recently. Hopefully this extra long chapter will make up for the long wait! Enjoy!
Gandalf007-I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter! It was a lot of fun to write! Thanks for leaving such a nice complement!
Amerilane-Plot twist? Me? *looks really innocent, but in reality is very guilty* I think a lot of people should stay away from those woods because I'm definitely not afraid to kill characters off, lol. So glad you're enjoying the story!
LHWordsmith-I'm so glad you're loving it! I wanted to try something different and I thought a marriage of convenience would be fun to write. You're right too, there are definitely going to be hijinks ahead! I make no promises for what is up ahead, but I hope you enjoy where I take this! Thanks again for reading and commenting!
HauntedCinders-Thanks! I just finished writing a story where the main female character was a warrior, so I didn't want to do that again. I like to think that we're going to enjoy watching as Duckie comes of age and grows stronger and more confident of herself as the story progresses. Thanks again for reading and commenting!
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or anything associated with Tolkien Enterprises. I also do not own any music by Stephen Foster, Thomas Haynes Bayly, Caroline Atherton Mason, or S.M. Grannis. Their lyrics are included in this fanfic and they are old enough to be considered public domain.
ooOoo
Guardians of Arda
By Ponytail Goddess
Chapter 10: Painful Truths
Duckie was so lost in her own thoughts and emotions as she left the church that she was not fully aware of when she had exited the settlement. Luckily, Haldir must have been more lucid than her, as she realized they were finally alone upon feeling him release her arm.
A wave of relief passed over Duckie as she saw the open fields of prairie grass filled with wildflowers that were reaching towards the vibrant sun. Her eyes could also see a few farmers' plots, which contained an assortment of plants that were ripe and ready for harvest. To the left of the road was the forest, it's deep green leaves beginning to show off a touch of color. Indeed, a few red and yellow leaves could now be seen from the outskirt, indicating that autumn had at last arrived.
"Dúcuivië?" She heard a distant-sounding voice ask to her right. When she looked over, she saw that Haldir sported a pensive look on his face as he questioned her. "I've said your name three times now. Are you well?"
"Oh," she said, giving her head a little shake since it had been floating in the clouds, "Sorry. I am well."
It was a lie and they both knew it. Duckie did not feel like divulging how she felt about the last hour, though she imagined Haldir had some idea of what she was going through. It seemed that in the last month, her life had been completely turned upside down. Her father was still nowhere to be found, her best friend Arthur had attempted to propose to her, and now she going to pretend to get married to Haldir of all people…
Haldir, the only male she had ever thought of as handsome. Haldir, whose opinion of her seemed to matter far more than it should. Haldir, the one person who could touch her and make her heart flutter…
"Am I losing my mind?" She wondered as they walked in silence together down the dirt road. "What is this elf doing to me?"
She shook her head again, her loose ebony hair falling gracefully over her shoulders as she tried to push those thoughts to the back of her mind. After all, she finally had him alone and he had promised her answers.
Of all the questions that could have come out of her mouth though, the one that seemed the least important seemed to be the one that came out first. "Haldir, back there when we were speaking with Father John, what did you mean when you said you enjoyed talking about culture with me?"
She found herself suddenly studying Haldir, trying to decide what his reaction was to her question. Rather unexpectedly, a sad-looking smile appeared on his lips and his eyes grew distant as they studied the horizon.
They walked in silence as she awaited her answer. He took so long to deliver his answer that Duckie was beginning to think she would not receive one. "Being around you… it is refreshing." He said at long last. "My wardens, even my own brothers… many of them wish to assimilate into the culture of this world, the world of men."
The look of desperation in his eyes told Duckie that the hurt behind this statement ran deep. "I'm afraid we have been away from our people for far too long while being immersed in the culture of men. My wardens wish to use their languages exclusively, rather than our own native tongue. Some feel deeply for their fights, as if they were their own… as if we were not outsiders at all."
"Like my father." Duckie interjected quietly. Haldir nodded in acknowledgement.
"Being around you though—it is different." He continued, though his voice sounded a bit distant, as if he was now lost in thought. "You know nothing of the elves, but you wish to know more. You desire to know your heritage—you want to belong amongst us." He stated, much to Duckie's surprise.
How was it that he understood her so well after only knowing her for a week? Was Haldir truly this observant?
"I admire your passion to understand your heritage and I am happy to tell you all you want to know. I do not wish to part with the ways of the elves, for one day, we will all be reunited once again." He explained, drawing his hand over his heart and closing his eyes.
Duckie smiled at the relaxed look on his face and wished she knew what he was imagining in that moment. "What do you mean by being reunited?" She asked. "Will we get to see the other elves who have left these shores someday?"
"Yes," he said as his silver eyes opened and glistened in the sunrays, "When our mission here is complete and we have protected the men from the evils that Morgoth is predicted to release, once the final battle has been fought and won, there will be rest for us. Finally, we will be able to join the others over the sea, in fair Valinor."
She could see joy in his countenance at the thought of such a day. Duckie's heart went out to him and she wondered how long it had been since he had seen his other kin and friends. Thousands of years?
Tens of thousands?
"He must be very lonely," she thought to herself. "He cares deeply enough for his previous life that he cannot let it go and move on as the others have. Such loyalty is admirable, but the sadness that comes along with such feelings must be a difficult burden to bear."
Duckie was about to apologize for his loss, but he interrupted her train of thought. "Come. Let me teach you how to climb like an elf."
"Climb like an… oh dear, are you certain about this?" Duckie asked nervously as she watched him jog off the trail enthusiastically, straight through the knee-high grasses ending at the forest's edge. "I am not sure this is safe. My father always chastised me for climbing trees as a child."
Still, she followed him into the grass, neither one of them leaving a trail trampled grass behind them, as was the elven way. "Of course it is safe! You're an elf, aren't you?" He asked over his shoulder in a teasing fashion until he saw the worried expression upon her face. When he saw it, his demeanor changed and he walked over to her and put his hands gently on her upper arms, right below her shoulders. His grip was confident, but gentle as his grey eyes met her hazel ones.
"Truly, there is nothing to fear Dúcuivië. In the elven realm of Lothlórien, all of the elves lived in trees much larger than the ones we see here in the world of men." He stated calmly, giving her arms a little squeeze of encouragement. "Climbing was an everyday occurrence for elves where I lived. We are good at it—our balance is much better than that of men." He finished, reminding her of what he had said earlier when they needed to ride the Meara.
"Very well then," she said, feeling a bit flustered at the feeling of his strong hands upon her arms. Though they were covered with the deep blue calico sleeves of her dress, Duckie could still feel the distinct heat of his body through the fabric and it made her heart beat a bit faster in response. "What would you have me do?"
He smirked at her with his annoyingly handsome half-smile, as if he somehow knew precisely how he affected her. His fingers slid lightly off her arms as he beckoned her again. "Come, I will show you."
Duckie watched as Haldir stepped up to the nearest tree and appeared to embrace it, but set his hands lightly down on its sides and left a few inches of air between his torso and the jagged grey bark. To get a better look at what he was doing, Duckie stepped a bit closer, stopping just a few feet away from him in the knee-high prairie grass.
"Ellyth wearing dresses often ascend in this manner." Haldir said as he placed the sides of his feet against the tree and spiraled up the side of it quickly. He appeared to be holding the trunk of the tree merely for balance, as his grip was not tight and he disappeared into the leafy foliage at the top of the tree quite quickly. A moment later, he jumped down and landed lightly beside her.
Duckie's eyes widened as he indicated that she should step up to the tree and do the same thing. "Surely you jest; I cannot do that!" She exclaimed.
"Have you ever tried?" He asked quietly with a raised brow.
She took a moment to think about it and realized no, she had not ever tried such a thing. Sure, she had climbed a few small trees in her youth with the children of men, but what he was asking her to do went well beyond the abilities of any mortal.
Confirming her thoughts, he said, "You have never seen a mortal do such a thing before, so you think you cannot. They are incapable of such things, but you are not. Go on and try—I think you will be surprised at how easy it comes to you."
With a nod of her head, Duckie nervously eyed the tree. She delicately placed her hands in the same position as Haldir had shown her and stepped as close to the tree as she dared. She got precisely three steps up the tree before she felt herself falling to the ground. Before she had time to shout her displeasure, she felt Haldir's strong hands catch her underneath her arms. He immediately propelled her back onto her feet, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"See," she said breathlessly as she turned to stare at him with large, frightened eyes, "I really do not think I can."
"Nonsense," Haldir replied confidently as he pointed to the tree, "You simply did not ascend fast enough. Since there is little to support your weight, you need a lot of momentum to climb the tree without having footholds."
"Very well then," she replied with a sigh as she eyed her challenge once more. While she tried to size up the situation, she heard the tree happily chime in, "He's right, you know. If your roots move fast enough, you'll be at the top of my foliage in no time!"
"Do not hold the bark too tightly or you will scrape the skin off your hands." Haldir said as she looked up to see how far she needed to go. "Trust me—I speak from experience."
Duckie blinked for a moment, as she could hardly imagine Haldir struggling with climbing a tree after what she had witnessed over the last 24 hours. Pushing those thoughts from her head and bracing herself for failure once again, Duckie held her breath and then tried to run up the tree as fast as she could. Much to her astonishment, Haldir's advice was good and she found herself rapidly approaching the branches that were nearly 20 feet above the ground.
What she had not thought about was what to do once she was up there. She stopped running when she got up to the branches and tried to grasp at one, but she had stopped too soon. Her feet tried to scramble back into their previous momentum, but only succeeded in awkwardly scrapping against the bark as she started to plummet towards the ground.
That is, until a strong hand reached down and grabbed her, much like it had the night before when she had been floundering to get up the tree and escape the thieving men. Duckie found herself clinging to Haldir's hand fearfully, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as he pulled her up into the safety of the tree's branches. A feeling of relief flooded her entire body as she felt her feet safely make contact with a large limb of the tree. Duckie grabbed onto the trunk of the tree and stood catching her breath for a few moments before she heard Haldir speak.
"You almost had it that time—all you need to do is grab a branch and swing your body onto it." He said, his voice filled with encouragement as she turned to face him. "Now that we're up here, you can learn how to traverse the forest from the tree limbs."
"He's going to make an elf out of her yet!" Chimed a tiny tree from down below. It was no more than four feet tall, but seemed to be paying attention to its surroundings.
A nearby oak then chided her offspring, "She is already an elf. She is merely learning how to use her roots appropriately—just like you, my little seedling."
"Will I be big enough to have an elf walk on my branches one day?" The seedling sweetly asked it's mother.
"Of course, my dear. I'm sure she looks forward to climbing into your branches once you are big and strong." The mighty oak answered with pride.
Duckie nodded down at the little tree in agreement, a large smile adorning her face after overhearing their conversation. "The oak is correct." She answered in a friendly tone.
"Dúcuivië?" Haldir's voice questioned, sounding mildly concerned. "Are you speaking to someone over there?"
Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she realized that Haldir could not hear the conversation between the trees, so her words probably made no sense to him. Worse yet, he might think her crazy. Her father had not had her talent either, but he had known of her mother's talents for speaking with plants. When Duckie had inherited it, it was not very surprising to Elroy.
"Can you not hear what the trees are saying?" She asked him, her hazel eyes glittering in the sunlight as she met his confused stare. "My father could not, but you did not question it when I mentioned it last night, so I thought perhaps you could."
"It has been a long time since I have been able to understand the language of the trees. I could when I lived in Lothlórien, but those were Elvish trees and they were very familiar to us. We had lived amongst them for thousands of years, so we were deeply connected to the forest there. I do not know these trees well enough to understand them." He explained, then questioned her in return. "Do you understand all trees, regardless of your knowledge of them?"
"Yes," she replied softly, feeling a bit uncertain about admitting this to him. Duckie did not want him to think she was odd or did not fit in with the other elves. "I understand plants as well. They often speak to me and they understand me."
"Hmm… it sounds like you have been given an ability from your mother—a gift of the Morben." Haldir said with a thoughtful look on his face. "We know little about them, as their kind are nomadic and prefer to be isolated from other elves. However, it is said they are more closely connected with nature than other elves. At least, that is what your father said of them. He is the only elf I have ever met who has been connected with the Morben."
"You know nothing of my mother then? You do not happen to know who she is or where she can be found, do you?" She asked, although when she saw Haldir's face, she already knew his answer.
"I know nothing about your mother. I'm sorry." He said, bowing his head down as if to acknowledge her pain.
Her head bowed down too and she smiled sadly to herself as she accepted his answer. When Duckie looked up, she found him studying her with an indecipherable look on his face. She decided to change the subject, as she did not wish to discuss her mother with Haldir any further.
"You wish to show me how you travel through the trees then? What must I do?" She asked him.
"This part will take a bit more practice. First, you must find your balance on the branches. Come and practice walking with me. Do not worry, I will not allow you to fall." He said as he started to step backwards away from her, his hand beckoning her on.
While she did not know Haldir very well yet, she did trust that he would not allow her to fall, as he had been very mindful of her safety thus far. Taking a leap of faith, she found her feet carefully following him further out onto the branch, walking towards the thinner area of the branch they were perched upon. Duckie found herself extending her arms for balance and walking slowly, measuring her steps carefully and testing the branch for sturdiness before applying her weight fully onto it.
"See, you are catching onto it fairly quickly. Your upbringing is telling you that you need your arms out, but truly, you do not. Your elvish blood should allow you to walk normally across the branch without falling." Haldir said with a smile, watching her carefully as he walked backward far more confidently than Duckie felt was natural.
"The trick to doing this well is knowing when you must jump into the next tree. When the branch will no longer support your weight, you must quickly find one that will and either ascend or descend towards it." He instructed, then quickly turned and sprang into the next tree, landing gracefully upon one of its sturdier branches.
"You are certain I can do this?" Duckie asked, her voice shaking slightly in fear. Her heart trembled a bit as she glanced down and saw how high she was in the tree.
"Of course." He reassured her as her eyes met his own. His attention was fully on her as he beckoned her on with his outstretched hands. "Remember, you only think you cannot do this because you have had the upbringing of a mortal. Elves can easily jump a much larger distance than I am asking of you now."
When she still could not bring herself to move, she heard call out to her, "I promised I would not let you fall Dúcuivië, and to that promise I hold true." A moment later, she heard him whisper under his breath, more to himself than to her.
"Trust me… please."
A chorus of voices all around her echoed the sentiment. The wind whispered the familiar phrase once again. The trees cheered for her and echoed Haldir's sentiments.
"Trust him! Trust him! Trust him!"
Duckie wasn't sure if it was all of the encouragement sounding off around her or her own desire to fit in with the elves, but she knew in that moment that she would have to push aside her fear and jump. She took a deep breath in and two steps backward, then ignored the numerous warning bells clanging within her mind. Taking a running start, she leaped gracefully off of her branch, causing the crowd of trees to cheer loudly in admiration.
His assumption had been correct; though the distance appeared to be much longer than what was possible, Duckie had no trouble making it to the next branch. However, she panicked a moment later when she did not know how to land properly and stumbled across the branch.
Haldir was fast though and she immediately felt the firm clasp of his hands as he gripped her body beneath her upper arms and steadied her awkward landing. Her wide eyes met his; she was still quite flustered and breathless from her jump, but his eyes were welcoming and full of approval, warmth, and pride. She immediately became aware of how close he was to her. Sunlight streamed down through the green and gold leaves of the tree they stood in, illuminating his lustrous silver hair and lighting up her face, which was tilted up towards his own.
A look of amazement crossing his face briefly as he stared into her hazel eyes deeply, as if he was truly looking at her for the very first time. Duckie saw how his skin glimmered in the ray of sunlight and could feel his gentle breath on her cheek. Her heart pounded faster as the word 'destiny' lingered in the air once more, the wind whispering the word with more intensity than it ever had before.
The wind blew in a small cyclone around them, raising up gooseflesh on their arms and caressing their faces lightly. Duckie hardly noticed it though, as she seemed to have been put under a spell by Haldir's soft grey eyes and the look of awe and wonder that rested upon his face.
Her breath caught in her mouth as he looked like he was about to say something to her, but suddenly seemed to realize how their faces were only a few mere inches from one another and stopped himself. Then, just as quickly as the moment started, it was over. Haldir's face went blank and he pulled back from her, releasing his grip on her body, though she was still holding his firm shoulders with her own hands.
"That was good for a first try. Now let's do it again to bolster your confidence." He said rather quickly, stammering a bit in a most uncharacteristic way. Duckie watched him as he abruptly detached her hands from his shoulders before moving away from her expediently, like a deer fleeing from a predator.
Duckie's hand idly landed on her forehead as a look of confusion filled her visage. What had just happened here? Had he felt that too? The same thing she did when she was so close to him?
It had felt as if there was some sort of magic between them for a moment, each drawn into one another with magnetic force. She had felt safe there, within his arms, as if he was the very elf she needed in her life at this precise moment.
As if he was the one for her.
The nearly-silent voice on the wind had liked it too and the wind had never steered Duckie wrong. Something was surely meant to come of this… but what?
The beginnings of a frown began to play on the edge of her ruby lips as she mulled over the situation. She knew that something important had just passed between them, but she didn't dare bring it up to Haldir, who was already in the next tree and moving away from her hurriedly. Clearly, he did not wish to acknowledge whatever chemistry had bubbled up between them in the last few minutes and so reluctantly, Duckie decided to let the situation go for now and move on until she was by herself and had more time to think it over.
Though her legs still trembled with fear from her last jump, Duckie carefully followed him into the next tree. Though he had shut himself off to her, she could still tell that he was discreetly watching her, making certain she was not in danger, though he did not offer to catch her again, as he had the first time around.
Luckily for Duckie, she found that after the first few jumps, her balance was improving and she was growing more comfortable jumping independently. Soon, she was navigating the tree branches fairly naturally, though she was still significantly slower than Haldir and needed to actively watch where her feet were on the branches in order to cross safely.
After traveling for nearly an hour in silence, she decided to try and reopen the line of communication between them, hoping that talking about something innocuous would help dissipate the uncomfortable tension between them.
"You said the elves lived in trees where you are from? Were they as large as they say the redwoods of California are?" She asked, calling out to him nonchalantly. Perhaps speaking about his home would help heal whatever ill will had fallen between them.
She was not wrong in her assumption. Though he was not facing her, she watched him stop and saw some of the rigidity in his motions disappear. She heard him chuckle briefly as she climbed up a few branches to try and catch up with him. The sound of joy in his voice brought her relief. His opinion of her mattered and she was grateful to have him back to normal.
"Much taller!" he called back to her from a small distance. She marveled as he jumped up higher into the tree, using subsequent branches like they were the rungs of a natural ladder headed towards the glimmering sun. "And their girth was much thicker than the sequoias too!"
When she landed on the branch he had used as the bottom-most rung, she looked up to find him patting a spot next to where he sat casually on the branch, as if being more than 100 feet in the air was nothing out of the ordinary. He did not call any directions down to her, but she had already come this far and figured he would surely help her if she faltered.
Thus, without much thought for her own safety, Duckie did her best to copy Haldir's motions and ascended into the highest branches of the tree. Switching back and forth between her right and left foot, she sprung off the subsequent branches one by one until she was close enough to reach for his proffered hand. Once she made contact with him, his firm grip pulled her easily up onto the branch beside him and Duckie breathed a sigh of relief.
Well, that is until she looked down.
"Oh my…" She said breathily, then forced herself to look anywhere but down there. Her eyes settled on Haldir as she worked to slow her thundering heartbeat. "I believe you—about the trees, I mean. It astounds me that being up this high does not seem to faze you at all. I can tell you are accustomed to these heights."
"Yes, living in the mellyrn for all of those years has made treetops always feel like home." He said, as he turned his face up towards the sunlight with a distant look in his grey eyes.
Intrigued by the look on his face, Duckie asked, "Will you describe them to me?"
He smiled sadly, as if it pained him slightly to recall. "They were very tall and wide, more than four times the height of these trees. Their bark was a beautiful silver that glistened in the moonlight and the tops of their leaves were green and the bottoms were silver. In the fall, the leaves turned a brassy golden color and the trees did not release their leaves until spring, when they would sprout the most glorious golden flowers, which gave way to the leaves that would sprout anew. Their canopy was thick and lustrous, which was good for guarding our city…" He said reverently, his voice quieting significantly. "We were always guarding our city from within their sturdy branches."
"Lothlórien?" Duckie asked dreamily, utterly captivated with all she was learning. The way Haldir described it made it sound magnificent, almost as if it was straight out of a fairytale. "Did my father live there too?"
"No, your father lived in a different elven city named Imladris." Haldir replied, but then quickly added, "Though he was a frequent visitor of my city and was no stranger to climbing trees as we have today."
"Why did he visit your city?" She asked, "Were they close together?"
"No, they were quite far from one another—it was several days' worth of riding upon horseback to reach one city from the other. He visited every five years or so though, as Lothlórien was the home of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, his grandparents." He stated, and then indicated her with a flourish of his hand. "Your great grandparents."
"Those were Elrond's parents then?" Duckie asked, trying to mesh together the information she had gathered from Bregolad and Haldir.
"No, your grandfather Elrond is from a different line of elves. Elrond's wife, the silver queen, was Celeborn and Galadriel's offspring." He clarified as his eyes followed a couple of bluebirds who soared past their eyeline, chirping merrily along with the other chorus of birds in the forest. "Her name was Celebrían and she was one of the most beautiful maidens to ever live in Lothlórien, save the Lady of Light herself. Your grandmother—she was rightly named for her silver hair, which was much like mine and the other elves of Lórien."
"I see," she replied as the family tree she was tucking away within her mind grew a bit larger. "It gladdens me to learn about my family members, but I fear it only births the desire for me to learn more and more about them when other issues are more pressing."
"Perhaps you could tell me more about the enemy you must defeat, this 'Morgoth…' Who is he? What must be done to see to his defeat?" She asked quietly, growing concerned as she thought of the foe the hooded figure had mentioned in the forest the night before. The trees quieted at the evilness of his name and a deep feeling of unease filled the forest as she awaited Haldir's answer.
"The forest has grown uneasy at the mention of his name," He spoke out loud, putting her thoughts into words. "As it should, for Morgoth is the greatest evil this world has ever seen."
A shiver passed through Duckie's entire body as Haldir started to describe him. "He was once the most powerful of the Valar, who are best described as demigods—they are not gods themselves, for there is only Eru, who is above all, but they have greater power than all other beings in this world."
"Who is Eru?" Duckie asked quietly, totally enthralled by this conversation.
"He is the creator of all beings in Arda, both elves and men. His full name is Eru Ilúvatar." He answered solemnly. "Now, Morgoth was the most powerful of the Valar; none rivaled his power except for Eru Ilúvatar himself. At the beginning of time, he was meant to sing the different parts of the world into creation with the other Valar, but he chose to make up his own song, which filled the world with chaos and destruction. You see, he desired to rule over the world as Eru Ilúvatar does, but he cannot. Does that make sense?"
Duckie nodded and leaned into the conversation, indicating with her hands that he should continue. "Because of this, he is bitter and resentful and chooses to taint the goodness of everything he comes into contact with. His choices have long brought about death in all parts of the world. He is altogether evil and was locked away in the great Void many years ago, after the War of Wrath, as punishment for the many terrible things he had done."
Duckie shivered at the thought. She had felt such evil the previous night. "Was Morgoth there too?" She asked quietly, then clarified her thoughts to him when she saw his questioning eyebrows. "Last night, I mean—with the cloaked figure? Evil was tainting the air in the forest—was Morgoth there with him somehow?"
"No, but it was a servant of his; one who has been given access to great power." Haldir stated in a very serious voice, looking very uncomfortable. "Arda is now just beginning to show signs of his return. It is possible that he is gathering power here before he breaks out of the Void."
"It is rumored that Mandos himself, the Vala who is in control of death, predicted the sun and the moon will go dark when he returns." He continued, pointing to the sky with a graceful flick of his hand. "As you can see, they are still here, so I do not believe he has arrived in Arda yet. However, I do not know how long we have until he returns."
Haldir then paused as a look of discomfort flickered across his face. It was quickly damped though and soon his visage appeared quite indifferent. Duckie could see right through his military façade though…
This upset him. Greatly.
"Something is stirring in this very forest and possibly elsewhere as well. I hear the foul whispers in the wind and feel the unease of the earth… All of the predictions about this have been vague at best. I think we are only just beginning to see the start of what will play out from the prophecy. Only time will reveal its true purpose." He murmured with a dark look resting upon his face.
"What prophecy do you speak of?" She asked curiously. The trees came to life again, whispering of their interest in the topic as well.
"I do not dare utter it here in the forest, for who knows what ears may be listening in right now." Haldir whispered, looking around as if he too was aware of the trees, though he had said he could not hear them.
Perhaps he could just feel how the air had grown heavy and how the forest had gone unnervingly still upon hearing his words. "I will tell you later, when we are in a safer place. For now, we should head back to the farm. We have not found any danger in this area of the forest thus far, but I do not want to press our luck by lingering in one spot for too long."
She blinked a few times as she realized what was happening and then quickly objected as he started to stand up. "But Haldir, you have not yet spoken about what happened between you and my father. You promised to tell the story once we were away from Willie." She reminded him, resting her hand upon his foot as if it might somehow still his motions.
"Let us move first and then I will keep my promise." He vowed with a nod of his head, then pointed in the direction he planned on going. She watched as he started maneuvering himself through the branches with a grace that made Duckie feel quite envious.
They traversed the treetops quietly; Duckie's moves continued to grow more fluid and natural as the day progressed. Before she knew it, they were standing on a branch belonging to a large oak on the outskirts of the forest. The farmhouse was now within view and appeared to be undisturbed during her absence.
"What precisely do you wish to for me to explain about your father?" Haldir asked quietly as they both stared at her home in silence. "Do you just wish to find out how we came to be at odds with one another?"
Duckie closed her eyes for a moment, not daring to look at Haldir, though she felt his eyes on her. "Yes, that is what I wish to understand, along with any other information that might be pertinent to the story of how I came to grow up without knowing any of you." She said, then finally chanced a glance at him. His visage looked colder than she had ever seen it prior to now. A feeling of dread started to build up within her heart as he started his tale.
"To fully comprehend the situation that occurred, you must understand the dynamic between your father and myself. When we were given the task of staying and I was offered to lead this group of elves, your father and his brother were not present. In fact, Lady Galadriel had not initially seen them within her vision. However, when they learned about what we were about to do, they insisted on joining us, along with their good friend Lindir, whom they had known their whole lives." He explained.
"I did not object to the Lady's additions at the time, for I thought that having more help would be beneficial to the mission. The three additions had not trained under me, as all the other wardens had, but all three had received military training from Lord Glorfindel of Imladris, who is a well-respected colleague and friend of mine, so I did not expect to have any problems. Indeed, both Lindir and Elladan were quick to fall in line behind me, as is expected in elven hierarchy."
"Because you are the oldest?" She inquired, recalling her past conversation with Elladan.
"Yes, and because I have the most experience as a warden and a leader. Your father did not fall into line with the others easily though. You see, Elrohir had grown bitter about many things, mainly due to what happened to your grandmother…" He said, then held up his hand to interrupt her as she was about to ask the obvious question that needed to follow those words.
"While traveling, she was terribly injured by the orcs of the enemy, so much so that she sailed to Valinor without her husband and family, as the darkness had compounded within her and she could no longer bear its burden in her life. It was a great tragedy for all the members of your family and all of elvendom was filled with remorse for her."
Duckie's heart sank. Her father had been through a great trial in his youth and it seemed as though he had never fully recovered. Had that been why he had been so desperate for her to enjoy her own youth? Had that been why he had shielded her from her own history and a life with the elves?
Though many thoughts were now swimming around in her head like a brand-new crop of tadpoles in a pond, she forced herself to listen to Haldir's words. Now that she was finally getting the explanation she had been looking for, she hung desperately onto every word he said.
"Elrohir never recovered from it." He continued, his eyes growing distant as he drew them both deeper into the tale. "When their mother moved west, the twins left Imladris and went rampaging across all of Arda, hellbent on killing all the orcs they could to avenge Celebrían. They did this for more than 500 years. At long last, Elladan was ready to move on from the pain of his mother's fate, but Elrohir was not. He wished to still do as he pleased in many instances, avenging the weak and downtrodden as often as he could. He had become accustomed to reacting to his own emotions when he saw those situations, rather than look at each instance objectively as an outsider, which is what military training teaches you to do."
Duckie watched as Haldir closed his eyes and shook his head, a look of sadness casting a shadow over his handsome features. Her own despair seemed to match his as he continued. "Because of this, we clashed. Our arguments grew greater and greater with every passing century. I often grew frustrated with Elrohir because he seemed to care for the mortals more than he should."
Seeing the look of confusion on her face, Haldir backtracked to clarify what he had meant. "As the commander of this regiment, it is my responsibility to put the safety of all of us before all others. By getting unnecessarily entangled in the lives of mortals, Elrohir chose to put his own interests before those of others. In turn, this made it harder for us to be successful on our missions and sometimes even went as far as putting other elves in danger."
"Okay…" Duckie said, furrowing her brows in frustration upon hearing this poor assessment of her father. For all of Duckie's life, her father had been her hero and confidant—the most trustworthy person in her life. Had he truly taken things too far and put others in danger, as Haldir had implied?
"I know it is hard to hear this Duckie and I hope you do not think I have a terrible opinion of your father." Haldir said as he read her visage. "I'm afraid I am not good at sugar-coating things though. I do like your father and respect him for how well he has raised you and numerous other good deeds he has accomplished in his life. What I speak of now—it is only a few bad moments within the grand scheme of a life and I hope you will be objective both in your opinion of him and me when all is said and done."
For a moment, it seemed as if Duckie's mouth had gone dry. However, she took in a deep breath and bolstered the courage within herself to invite him to finish his tale. "I will try my best." She replied.
"Very well then." Haldir said with a nod, sounding a bit rattled as well. "Elrohir's love for the patriots was no different than his love for others who were down and out. Great Britain was taxing everyone in colonies for everything they bought, and without any representation in from the colonists in Parliament, many of the men of that time felt oppressed and resentful. Ever the activist, your father felt for their plight and was quick to join their ranks. He encouraged all of us to join as well."
"I told him we were not going to take sides in this matter, for I did not wish to get us involved in any sort of war. The risk of one of my soldiers becoming injured was too great. I do not wish for any elf to become injured or die on my watch." He said, then started an aside in a more quiet voice. Duckie was not sure if the next words were more directed to her or to himself. "As a commander, it is ultimately my duty to ensure that everyone returns home safely. If someone is must die, it should be me, rather than the others whom I have sworn to lead."
A pang of fear filled Duckie's heart upon hearing those words, as she did not wish for anything bad to happen to Haldir. She had not thought about how much danger he had been in during the past and now she secretly feared for his immortal life.
If he was willing to die for all the others, would he actually survive the war? The thought of him dying brought a tear to her eye, for though she did not know him well, she had already started to grow fond of him, just as she had told Father John earlier.
He must have noticed her pain, for Haldir stopped talking for a moment and stared at her with a perplexed look on his face. With a gentle hand, he carefully wiped the tear from her cheek and murmured, "You need not fear for me, Dúcuivië, for I have stayed safe for thousands of years due to the precautions I have taken. I plan to continue to take those same precautions in the future as well."
She nodded as she wiped away a second tear on her own, not wanting to dwell on the possibility of anyone she knew dying. "Please continue." She whispered, hoping he would finish weaving his tale.
Haldir sighed though and suddenly looked quite weary. "I do not wish to speak ill of your father, though it may seem that way if I tell the story as it happened." He said with an air of caution in his voice.
"I appreciate the sentiment, but I would prefer to not have any more secrets kept from me." Duckie said, donning a serious look on her face. "My father has clearly kept many secrets from me—many of which would have been beneficial for me to know about before his disappearance. Please just tell me the truth and then let me decide how to feel about it."
"Very well," he said with a sense of finality in his voice. "Your father chose to disregard my plan. He did not take any precautions to protect us and proceeded to join the patriots. After the passage of many moons, several of them grew weary of seeing the British sentinels within the streets of the colonies. One night the tensions came to a head when several colonists, your father included, threw snowballs, oyster shells, and ice at a British soldier guarding the front of the British Customs House. An all-out brawl formed when reinforcements were sent in to help the soldier."
"My brothers and I were all there, trying to break up the fight when shots began to be fired into the night. Five men were killed that night… nearly six. I saw one of the British soldiers aim for Orophin and I barely got him out of the way in time. I took a bullet that night because I had to throw caution to the wind in order to save my brother from a dangerous situation in a place we never should have been."
Duckie gasped, her eyes going wide as she imagined Haldir being shot. "Where?" she whispered, squeezing her hands together anxiously as she thought of how he too could have been killed that night.
"It was my shoulder," Haldir answered, patting his left arm with his hand to indicate where the bullet had been. "I had not been injured in battle in several millennia and I was livid with your father for inciting the violence that led to several injuries and deaths. Once your uncle was done treating my wound, I laid into Elrohir."
"Even then, he could not see my side of things. He could not see how he had put my contingent in danger—he only wanted justice for the mortals' plight for freedom. He argued fire with fire and was angry with me for disregarding the mortals' need to break free from their oppressors."
Duckie watched as Haldir shook his head again, looking frustrated and saddened all at once. "I took it too far though. Your father called me a coward for not being willing to risk my life for the mortals and I lost control of myself in that moment. I told him he was a poor excuse for a soldier and that he could not rejoin our ranks again until he was willing to follow orders." He explained as Duckie's heart beat faster. Suddenly, all of the puzzle pieces were starting to come together.
Haldir had a haunted look on his face as he turned and stared at her, trying to gage her reaction. "After that, he left." He finished quietly, rubbing his face with his hands, as if it pained him to speak. "It was the one order he was willing to follow."
Both sat in silence for a while as Duckie deconstructed all that had happened in her mind. Haldir spoke of a side of her father that she had not seen nor known about, yet she sensed there was truth in his words. At least, he seemed to be speaking the truth from his perspective.
Was there more to the story though? Did she truly believe her father almost got an elf killed over the life of a mortal? Moreover, was Haldir right or was her father right? Obviously, both thought they were right in the moment and she could see the goodness of both sides. Haldir was certainly correct to try and protect his contingent of elves. Her father had chosen instead to stand up for the oppressed, which she also knew in her heart was a worthy cause.
Could both elves be right? Was it possible that this lingering conflict between them could be solved?
She could tell by the guilt-ridden look on Haldir's face that he regretted telling her the story. While she knew his opinion mattered to her, the look on his face suggested that perhaps her opinion of him mattered as well.
"The sordid truth of the matter is…" Haldir admitted with a sigh, "I am the reason you did not grow up with the elves and for that, I am deeply sorry."
Duckie felt sad upon hearing his admission, but also very jumbled because of her loyalty to her father. "You did not know I existed." She offered back. "Perhaps things would have been different if my father had told you about me."
"Perhaps." He agreed. "Will you ever be able to forgive my part in this terrible mess?"
"I think so," she said as she jumped down from the tree branch they were sitting upon, gracefully landing in the prairie grass below her. "I just need some time to get everything straight in my head and come to terms with what really happened. There is much I do not understand about my father and this was a lot to take in all at once."
"Take all the time you need." Haldir replied after landing beside her. The two walked in a comfortable silence until they reached the farmhouse. Haldir bid Duckie adieu, promising to pick her up in a few hours to meet the Glenn's for the supper they had been invited to by Mabel.
Once she was safely in the farmhouse, Duckie watched as Haldir trekked through the tall grasses back to his own abandoned campsite. While she watched him, she could not stop herself from wondering if she would be forced to take a side in the argument between him and her father…
If so, whose side would she take?
ooOoo
*The event Haldir described involving the battle at the British Customs House is referred to as "The Boston Massacre." It took place on March 5, 1770 in Massachusetts.
Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave me a comment-I'd love to know what you think of the newest developments!
-P.G.