This one's a doozy, folks! Apparently free time during a pandemic = longer chapters. I hope you like it. I'm trying to get through more of Part I so that I can reveal more in Part II. So much is still to come, though. Let me know how you're enjoying it, maybe even share some guesses as to what's coming. I love reading all of your comments!

Chapter 12

"You had a date with Iain Bradley?!"

Astoria gave Tullia a look so fierce that her friend covered her own mouth. "Sorry, I couldn't resist," she mumbled through her fingers, then took them away again. "Seriously though, you ate supper together?"

"For Merlin's sake, it wasn't a date! There just weren't that many other Ravenclaws that stayed behind for Christmas and who didn't eat at the Ball."

"He likes you, he likes you sooo much," Tullia trilled.

"Would you please keep it down? I'd rather the school not know all my secrets. And by the way, this is all your fault," Astoria grumbled. "I never even thought of him like that until you put the idea in my head. Now I have a hard time forming words when I'm with him."

"There are exactly three people eating breakfast with us right now, and they don't look like they're paying attention to anything other than their scones." It was true; it seemed as though most students had treated themselves to lie ins after the Yule Ball. Astoria had been up at her regular hour and had dragged Tullia down to breakfast with her. She was still yawning. "Excellent. You're welcome. Now that that's settled, tell me just how much you like him. You like him, right? Because I definitely told you so," repeated her friend, grinning wickedly.

Astoria reached for a second pain du chocolat. The buttery pastries had become Ravenclaw favourites after the Beauxbatons students first requested them. Tullia sipped her cappuccino, to which Astoria had watched her add exactly eight cubes of sugar.

"How did this become about me? What happened to telling me everything about the Yule Ball? You came in last night and passed out as soon as you had your pajamas on."

"That's because the Weird Sisters were amazing, and I danced to every single one of their songs. Farid was Farid, though, and even though I think he'd have preferred to go back to the carriage to read, he stayed until I was ready to leave so he could walk me back to the dormitory."

Astoria finished chewing and swallowed. How should she word this? "Speaking of liking people… Tullia, do you like Farid?"

Tullia's mouth dropped open, and then she started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Hahahaha, ohhhh, Astoria. No. No no no no, Farid is family. He's like a brother."

Astoria didn't see what was so funny. "But… are you sure that he thinks of you as a sister? I mean, he does spend a lot of time with us, he isn't really your blood relative, and we're five years younger than him. It seems a bit odd that he'd want to spend so much time with us… with you."

Tullia stopped laughing and actually blushed. "Astoria, you're usually so quick to pick up on things. Farid's… not interested in… that." She seemed uncharacteristically at a loss for words.

Astoria frowned, confused. "What do you mean, 'that'?"

Tullia bit her lip in thought. "Right. Right. Let's see… how can I explain this? Okay, you know how Athena never really fancied anyone? How she just wasn't interested in romance or love or… sex?" On the last word, her usually-echo-inducing volume dropped to a whisper. "He's like that."

Astoria blinked. Not interested in anything romantic? At all? She'd never really considered that such people existed. But of course they must, she thought. Because we have stories like Athena.

"He told you this?"

Tullia nodded. "A while ago. His older sisters and some of the older cousins used to tease him about why he wasn't interested in girls, or even guys. I don't really get why, but it bothers people when someone acts differently than they do." She shrugged with an annoyed look on her face and took another sip of coffee. "He is a wonderful cousin, the kindest, sweetest, best listener I know. People can be really stupid, though, so please don't tell anyone."

Astoria thought this over. She sometimes felt an outsider in her own family, but she'd never been made to feel like there was something, well, wrong with her. Other than the curse, anyway. She couldn't imagine how lonely it must have been for Farid. His hanging out with them now made much more sense.

"Of course I won't."

"Right, so, the Ball. I saw your sister. She went with Theodore Nott, surprise surprise. They were sitting with Bighead Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson , who looked like she got caught in a horrid candy floss incident. Her dress was massive and excruciatingly pink. Oh, and Cedric Diggory took Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw Seeker! Seekers attract Seekers, apparently. Harry Potter took some Gryffindor girl who I think is in his year. Funny how he's a Seeker too... and so is Krum! All the Champions are Seekers… oh! Speaking of Krum! Do you know who Hermione Granger is? Because that's who Viktor Krum showed up with as his date!"

"Who?! What? Put that pastry down and tell me everything!"

They spent the rest of the break playing Wizarding Chess with Farid and reading through Circe: Sorceress of Aeaea, Astoria's Christmas gift to Tullia. It felt strange but exciting for Astoria to spend the holidays somewhere other than the Estate. Her sister even ate breakfast with her one morning, and they wrote a letter to their parents together.

Before she knew it, classes had restarted and the school resumed its collective buzz about the Triwizard Tournament. Of particular interest to the Ravenclaws was the 'it couple' pairing of Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory. Astoria and Tullia's other dormmates - Harriet Ellesmere, Emily Erskine, and Deedee Barkhouse - spent a night trading gossip on how Cho and Cedric had been seen at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop on Valentine's Day weekend in Hogsmeade, and that Cedric had apparently brought Cho the gift of a single white rose. The girls mooned and sighed dramatically over how they might be asked there on a date some day. Astoria joined in, but honestly wondered how she might react to such a fuss. Not well, she decided. I'd take a book over a rose any day.

After Christmas break, Astoria had been worried that Tullia would continually pester her about Iain, but her friend had been distracted with personal issues soon after classes restarted.

It had been a usual session at the Hospital Ward. Astoria had made up three cots, stewed and bottled five pints of cherry bark syrup, and was now refilling Madam Pomfrey's bandage cabinet when none other than Tullia walked in. She looked red in the face, as if she were embarrassed. Which never happened.

"Tullia! What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

Her friend smiled nervously. "I need to see Madam Pomfrey. But don't worry, it isn't anything serious. If it is what I think it is… well, I just need to make sure."

Astoria led her to a cot and pulled the curtains closed on each side. "I'll go get her." What could possibly be wrong? She wasn't used to seeing Tullia so bashful and, well, meek. Even when she was upset, she tended to chatter on about it. Astoria found Madam Pomfrey writing up a student record in her office and told her that there was a patient.

It was harder than usual to wait outside the curtain, wondering what was up. Had her friend ever been sick before? She'd been visited by her at the Ward exactly once in early October, and that was only to brag that she'd bested Will Summerby in a lap race during flying class. But otherwise, Tullia was healthier than a hippogriff.

The curtain shifted, and out came Tullia carrying what looked like bandages. When she looked over to Astoria, she smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, you can tell her,"she said to the matron.

"Very well," Madam Pomfrey replied. "You'd best hurry if you need to visit your dormitory before class."

After watching her leave, she turned to Madam Pomfrey. "Is she okay?" she asked.

With a quick glance around to ensure that the ward was empty again, Madam Pomfrey smiled and nodded. "She's fine. She is beginning to bleed, as young girls do. It's called 'menarche'."

"Oh," was all she could think to say. It took less than a second for curiosity to set in. "Does it hurt? Will it stop on its own? What's the normal age a girl starts?"

"If you're wondering why you haven't got it yet, there's no need to fuss. Some have it begin even before their time at Hogwarts, others not until their fourth year. You, however, might be a special case."

Astoria wanted to sigh. Of course I am. I'm always a special case.

"Why might I think that, Astoria?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Is it to do with the fact that it involves blood?"

"Precisely. Very good, Astoria." She beamed at the matron's praise. "I suspect that symptoms we haven't yet encountered might emerge when you do start your cycle. In fact, I believe I'll write to Lyra today, just to begin preparing."

Preparing for something unknown? How do you even do that? Astoria wouldn't know where to start.

"Just promise me that you will come to me at the first sign of anything out of the ordinary."

"Of course," she promised easily.

That evening, while their roommates were getting ready for bed in the lavatory, Astoria finally had Tullia to herself.

"So? Do you want to talk about it?"

Tullia made a face. "I don't know, actually. I feel like I should be more excited… or more upset… or something."

"I don't think you are supposed to feel a certain way about it," was all she could think to say.

"Even still…" Tullia trailed off, mind obviously working through things. Astoria took a second too, to wonder what she might want to do if it happened to her.

"Would it help if we go to the library tomorrow and look things up? It might help to understand it better."

It was the perfect suggestion. Tullia gave a small smile, one that looked strangely mature and grown-up to Astoria. Were they growing up so quickly? She wasn't ready for them to stop being children.

"That's exactly what we're going to do. Of course you'd suggest it. Don't understand how to feel? Find a book on it. The classic Astoria response." Even as she teased, there was something gentle and grateful in her tone. Her friend might spout nonsense 99% of the time, but she could tell in this case that Tullia was truly glad for her idea.

They had always spent a great deal of the time in the library, but with a new subject to research, it felt brand new. They found - and giggled over - a variety of books, both informative and ridiculous. Astoria's favourite that she'd discovered was a deceptively inane-titled volume called "Dining With Trimalchio". It detailed some rather explicit encounters with a Roman wizard named Trimalchio, whose vulgarity was once well-known throughout the Roman Empire. How Madam Pince had let this book sit amongst such harmless companions as "Medieval Cookery Made Simple" and "Transfiguring Food: Getting Around Gamp's Exception" Astoria could not explain, but she certainly wasn't going to point out the error.

Tullia's favourite tome was a thick, heavy thing. It was exceptionally comprehensive and considerably dry, offering detailed descriptions of human anatomical and biological functions. Every so often, there was a meticulous diagram that was animated with a simple tap of the wand. Tullia was particularly amused by the picture of swinging testacles and was fascinated to discover that one was often smaller than the other, so as to avoid painful collisions. It is safe to say that they learned much more than eleven-year-old were expected to learn about such things. Curiosity is the greatest of teachers.

As the year wound nearer to its close, the final task of the Tournament approached. Astoria found she was sad to think of the Beauxbatons leaving, particularly Farid. The moments not spent in the library were often at his side. Astoria became a better chess player thanks to him, and found great delight in his and Anaïs's pride when she graduated to a sugar-free cappuccino. Tullia still loaded hers with cubes though, unafraid of their judgment.

"Would you like to sit with us on Saturday night, at the Tournament?" Anais asked as she delicately speared her roasted sprouts with a fork. Astoria wondered if Beauxbatons had a course on mastering the use of cutlery. "Unless you have some great desire, a grande fidélité for Monsieur Diggory or Monsieur Potter?"

"Of course we will be rooting for the Hogwarts Champions," Tullia sniffed primly, acting so insulted that it was obviously an act. "But I suppose we can deign to sit with you." Farid didn't bother to cover his smile. He saw Anaïs's confusion and spoke before she could ask. "Daigner. Condescendre."

"Oui, oui, je l'ai deviné. Well girls? What do you say?"

Astoria nodded her affirmation; in seeing this, Tullia sighed and rolled her eyes. "If we must!" she teased.

Farid shook his head. "What will we do without your sarcasm, cousin?"

Friday morning, the day before the tournament, they had their last class of Charms. As they packed their textbooks up, Tullia's eyes widened and she nearly squealed. Confused by her friend's behaviour, she turned to find Iain Bradley, waiting patiently for them to be alone.

"Oh my, look at the time, must get on with the day!" Tullia grinned and left before Astoria could open her mouth. She could hear her friend's cackling laughter echo down the hall.

Morgana help me. "Hi Iain," she managed.

He came towards her. "End of term already, eh?"

"Yep," she agreed. That was all she could manage. Why did the words always disappear when he showed up?

At least he was persistent. "Good job on the exam. I can never seem to get Tarantallegra to work properly. Must be because I'm a terrible dancer." He laughed at his joke nervously, then stopped and made a face.

"It only takes practice," she replied. If he was more nervous than she was, she couldn't imagine it.

"Yes, well, I'll stick to Quidditch if that's all right with you."

Her bags were now packed, so she slowly began walking towards the door, hoping he'd follow. He didn't.

Say something!

"Uh, don't suppose you want to walk with me to the Hospital Ward?"

Iain blinked. "You're not ill, are you?"

"No, I have my lessons with Madam Pomfrey next. Don't you have Flying class?" She was starting to wonder if Iain Bradley belonged in Ravenclaw after all.

"Oh! Right. Yeah, I have flying. I'd be chuffed to walk you first, though."

They made their way down the corridors in uncomfortable silence, each of them trying to figure out what exactly to say, what the other expected them to say, whether to say anything at all. Astoria was not used to quiet companionship - she spent most of her time with Tullia after all - and said the first thing that came to mind, just to interrupt the awkwardness.

"You're still thinking of trying out for the Quidditch team next year then?"

"Yeah," Iain exhaled. "Chaser. My mum…"

"...was a Seeker," Astoria finished. "I remember you telling me."

He smiled then, broadly, and dimples flashed in his cheeks. Astoria felt a little clench of attraction in her gut. Sweet Merlin, why haven't I noticed those before?

"That's right. So yeah, I'd like to try out for Chaser. You're not thinking of trying out, are you?"

Astoria suddenly found his mindlessness adorable. "No, not me. I don't fly, remember?"

He stopped for a second and clenched his eyes closed, shaking his head. Astoria stopped and waited, but he began walking again almost immediately. "Of course you don't. I knew that."

The discomfort of silence threatened to descend on them once more when suddenly, a portrait called out to them. "Mister Bradley and Miss Greengrass, such a lovely young couple! Nothing more delicious or heartbreaking than a summer romance. Guard your hearts, I say!"

Astoria thought she'd die of mortification. She hurried her steps, not even caring if Iain kept pace. As she turned the corner into the hall that the Ward was on, she noticed that Iain had sped up too. He was laughing.

She couldn't believe it. Her cheeks still felt hot with shame, and he was laughing. She stopped outside the door and covered her face with her hands.

"Hey now," he spoke softly, standing closely. "It's just silliness. No one else heard her. That gloomy witch is just sad that all her daily entertainment is leaving for summer break. You should have heard what she said to Cho Chang last week when she passed by with Cedric Diggory. 'Oh, to be young and untouched by love's searing fury!'"

His imitation was on point, and Astoria let her hands drop. She looked up; Iain was watching her kindly. It seemed as though the portrait's outburst had cured him of his nerves, even as it had worked up hers.

"Well I can't say I like being called out like that. That's the advantage of being with Tullia most of the time. She deflects a lot of attention."

Iain didn't laugh, but smiled. "She's something else, that's for sure. A force of nature. You're lucky to have her as a friend." His voice sounded a little wistful, as if he were envious.

"Yes, well, remind me of that when she starts going on about the Ptolemaic lineage, will you?" It worked; her wit had made him laugh, and suddenly she felt herself again.

"Listen, Astoria, would you like to watch the Final Task of the Tournament with me tomorrow?"

Bollocks, she thought. What do I do now?

"I would like to…" she started, but couldn't figure out how to finish.

"It sounds like there's a 'but' coming," Iain sighed, obviously disappointed.

"It's just… Tullia and I said we'd sit with Farid and Anaïs and some of the other Beauxbatons. I wouldn't want to break my word with them."

His eyebrows pulled together in thought. "Is he… are Farid and Tullia…"

"They're cousins," she insisted. It wasn't her place to say more than that. "I wish I had a cousin just as wonderful. They're more like brother and sister, really."

"Right," Iain nodded. "Of course. I didn't mean to imply…"

"No, it's okay. It's just... she doesn't have much family in Britain, and I know how much it means to her to spend time with him while he's here."

"Astoria, really, it's okay. I understand."

The hallways had become empty. Iain was obviously going to be late for flying class, and Astoria really did need to get in and help Madam Pomfrey.

She was just about to say as much when Iain spoke. "Maybe we could do something after the summer? Just the two of us?"

He was nervous again; she could see him tapping his wand like he was emptying a potions ingredient's tube.

"Yes," she said finally. "That would be… good."

His face lit up again, and Astoria was nearly stunned by the force of his dimples. He really is very cute.

"Fantastic! I should… get to class. I'll see you before the train ride back, yeah?"

"Absolutely," she agreed. And then he was off, leaving her to sort through a whole new chapter of thoughts and feelings.

The final event of the Tournament was a disaster. What should have been a triumphant ceremony was cut short when Harry Potter arrived outside the maze clutching the unmoving body of Cedric Diggory. Eventually, it was confirmed that Cedric was, in fact, dead.

Astoria and Tullia hadn't known Cedric, not really, but they were both deeply affected. The next morning, Ravenclaw Tower felt like a funeral. Cho was inconsolable, and their classmates gathered in small pockets, grieving together loudly and quietly. Astoria suggested that she and Tullia hand out handkerchiefs for a while, to which her friend agreed. But Tullia, who was usually so vivacious, could not take the room's atmosphere for more than a quarter of an hour.

"Please, let's just get out of here," she begged. Astoria went with her to the Library, and they spent the day mindlessly flipping pages, trying to distract from reality.

When the evening meal came to a close, she leaned in close to Tullia and whispered. "Remember, we are stargazing tonight."

Tullia didn't look at her, but nodded.

They snuck out of the castle near midnight, finding their way as easily as they had the year before. They found a place near the lake that was somewhat shielded from the Durmstrang ship, so that they might not be spotted and reported.

It was both a balm and a wrenching open, looking up at the indigo expanse above them. Astoria tried to put it into words.

"It seems bigger this year. Or maybe I feel smaller."

"I think the stars look angry," Tullia countered. "Trying to shine brighter in the darkness. I'm sure it takes everything they can muster to light up such an abyss."

"Think how empty and sad the sky would be without them."

Quiet fell again. Astoria felt heavy with sadness, but staring up helped. It was if the starlight was lifting some of it from her. All the confusing rumours about Cedric and Harry Potter and You-Know-Who faded away until it was just her and her best friend and the heavens.

"Tullia?"

"Yes?"

"I forgot to tell you something that happened on Friday. That is to say, I didn't forget, it just never seemed the right time after… after Saturday night."

"Please don't say you're moving to Brazil or something equally disastrous."

"It's about Iain Bradley."

The words worked their magic. Suddenly, Tullia sat up and looked over expectantly at her friend.

"He kissed you, didn't he? He wants to send you letters over the summer break. Or he's moving to Brazil?!"

Astoria found the corner of her mouth twitching. "How do you concoct such rubbish? Where did Brazil come from?"

"I just want to state, for the record, that you have not denied any of my suppositions."

"He asked me to sit with him at the Tournament."

Tullia made an unintelligible sound, full of frustration. "Why in blazes did you sit with us, then?"

"Because I promised that I would! Farid and the rest of the Beauxbatons leave tomorrow, and I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible!" Astoria was a little frustrated that she had to defend her decision.

"But don't you like him? I was sure you did."

"I do," she said out loud, at last. Thoughts of Iain's irresistible dimples, of his wavy hair and kind smile made her smile shyly. "I do like him."

Tullia clapped her own hand over her mouth and squealed. "I knew it! I KNEW IT!" Her whispers sounded like shouts, and Astoria found herself giggling even as she shushed her.

"Please stop it! It still feels wrong, somehow, to be happy right now." She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself. All her feelings were so tangled and intertwined; how was she supposed to make sense of any of them?

"Yeah. I get it." Tullia turned her face back up skyward. "I feel so sad that Farid is leaving tomorrow - sadder about that, really, than about Cedric. Which then makes me feel guilty, which then makes me feel angry, and then I'm just knackered.

"But I'm really glad we're out here tonight. It was a good idea."

Astoria watched a wisp of cloud pass over Cassiopeia. "It felt necessary. Besides, we made a pact, right? To do this every year."

"Until we graduate."

Cedric won't get to graduate. It was as if the thought had apparated into her mind. Her heart ached in response, and in that pain she felt an earnestness she couldn't quite explain. Even though she'd accepted that her life would not be as long as most witches or wizards, she'd always assumed she'd have 40 years of it. Cedric got 17. Seventeen years is nothing. I'm already two thirds of the way through that.

"Until we graduate," she echoed. "We'll sit out here at the edge of summer, stare up into the sky, and be glad to be alive."