James sat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room, Harry sitting on his lap. James was once again trying to feed him while Sirius wasn't around.
"Come on Harry open wide," James pleaded, his thoughts running back to the meeting he had with Dumbledore and his confrontation with Moody.
Harry giggled, but kept his mouth shut tight.
"I mean it Harry, open up!" James said impatiently.
Harry just giggled more, but kept his mouth clamped shut.
"Damn it, Harry!" James shouted throwing the jar of mush into the fire.
Harry's giggling died down. James looked at his child and was saddened to see Harry's eyes widened in fear.
James buried his face in his right hand, ashamed. How could he cope without Lily by his side? He had planned it all out. He and Lily were to raise Harry together, giving Harry brothers or sisters. It was all planned out. This was not supposed to happen. Lily was not supposed to die. James was not supposed to be a widower. He wasn't supposed to raise Harry by himself, being forced to hide for the rest of his life. It wasn't meant to be like this!
James felt something pull on his thumb, like a warm blanket around it. Something was dragging his hand away from his face.
"Dada?"
James let Harry's small hand push his away from his face. James looked up at Harry's round green eyes. Harry had a concerned frown on his face, something James had never seen before.
"I'm sorry, Harry," James sighed. "It's just getting to me, you know?"
James thought he saw Harry nod his head in understanding. But Harry was just a baby. What would he know about the worries of adults?
James smiled sadly. "Daddy's just being silly," he said. "Nothing to worry about. Now how about we finish your lunch?"
James waved his wand and a new bottle of mush appeared before him. He picked it up and opened it up. He dug the spoon inside it and scooped a large chunk. Harry opened his mouth obediently and James emptied the spoon's contents into his mouth. As Harry ate, James pondered.
"You know Harry, you would have loved your mother," James said, watching Harry eat and cleaning off his mouth when he had finished. "She was beautiful. Most beautiful woman I'll ever meet."
"Mama?" Harry questioned, looking up at James.
"Yeah," James said wiping another tear from his cheek. "But let's not think about that. Come here."
He pulled Harry to the floor, lifted his shirt and started tickling him. Harry giggled and James smiled.
"And I'm telling you Moony, he's not going back into hiding without a fight," Sirius argued as they continued to make their way towards Gryffindor tower.
"Then we're going to have to fight him," Remus said. "He needs to start thinking about Harry."
"He is thinking about Harry," Sirius cried. "The last time he went into hiding it didn't turn out right. He's just worried the same thing's going to happen."
"If he doesn't go into hiding the same thing is going to happen," Remus pointed out. "I'm sorry Sirius, but he needs to go into hiding."
"He's fine," Sirius argued. "Voldemort hasn't died but he's not going to be back in a long time. Let James enjoy freedom. He needs cheering up."
"Cheering up?" Remus sighed. "Lily died last night. I don't think he's going to be very cheerful for a long time."
As they reached the portrait hole and the portrait of the Fat Lady, Remus and Sirius were still bickering.
"Hello young Remus, Sirius," the Fat Lady welcomed.
"Is James in there?" Sirius asked, pointing towards her portrait, indicating the Gryffindor common room.
"Oh, yes," the Fat Lady said sombrely. "With young Harry in his arms. Seemed quite upset about something, James was. Didn't say a word to me. Poor boy."
"Yes," Remus agreed. "Can we enter now?"
Fat Lady looked as if she was about to retaliate, but inside swung her portrait forward and the two friends stumbled forwards. The first sound that reached their ears was a high pitched giggle, something they'd thought they'd never hear in front of James again.
Sirius stood at the entrance of the portrait hole with Remus watching James' bright smiling face play with Harry. Harry attempted to stand and walk to the couch, but James dragged him back, put him on his stomach, lifted his shirt up and blew on his stomach. Harry let out another high giggle and James actually laughed.
Harry turned his head in Sirius and Remus' direction and his smile widened.
"Pafu!" he shrieked. "Moonee!"
James turned around and saw Sirius and Remus standing there. His laughter died and he pulled Harry's top back down. He set Harry back on his feet and watched as Harry stumbled towards Sirius. Sirius bent down and picked him up. James stood up from the floor and looked at his friends expectantly.
"You want me to go into hiding again, don't you?" he asked, slowly.
"James, you're not safe out here," Remus said. "You could die. Harry could die. It's too dangerous."
James glared at him as he sat down on the only couch left in the common room. Sirius carried Harry over to the floor by the fireplace and started taking James' part with playing with Harry.
"What about you, Padfoot?" James asked, watching as Harry threw his tiny arms around Sirius' neck.
Sirius looked up at James and gave a small smile. "I'd sleep better at night knowing you were safe Prongs," Sirius said honestly. "But I know how much you hated going into hiding in the first place."
James looked away, as though thinking about his choice of going into hiding the first time around.
"I'm not going back into hiding," James said stubbornly.
"Stop acting like a child James," Remus snapped.
James glared at Remus for a long time. "Give me Harry, Sirius," James barked.
Sirius looked up at his be speckled friend, but didn't let go of Harry.
"GIVE HIM TO ME!" James roared.
"James, stop acting like a prat," Sirius snared, as Harry, apparently unaware of his father's outburst, started to tug at Sirius' hair.
"I want Harry, Sirius," James said in a deadly whisper. "Just give him to me."
"James just calm down alright? Sit down and take a breather." Remus said, alarmed.
"Where?" James howled. "You've taken the only seat."
"James, stop acting like an idiot," Sirius growled, trying to detangle Harry's hands from his hair. "If this is how you act, then I support Moody. You should go into hiding."
James ran a hand through his hair frustratingly.
"Why are you doing this?" he shouted. "Are trying to lock me up? So I have no life? So Harry has no life?"
Sirius looked up at James wide-eyed. Remus stared at James agape.
"That's not it at all, James," Sirius said finally watching Harry carefully as he started to walk around the common room unsteadily.
James walked over to Harry as he was walking over to the fireplace. He picked him up and walked towards the boys' dormitories.
"The end of the school holidays are in two weeks," Remus said as James reached the bottom of the staircase. "You have nowhere to go."
"I'll find somewhere," James huffed, rubbing Harry's back for comfort more for himself than for Harry.
"James, I am telling you this as your friend," Remus continued, standing up and turning to James. "Go into hiding. Your pride is not worth it."
James' face flushed at these words, but he raised his head.
"It is not my pride that's stopping me going into hiding," James snapped.
"Stop, James," Remus sighed. "You are a father! You have a responsibility! We are no longer children with nothing to worry about but exams! Stop being so arrogant!"
"Remus," Sirius warned, standing up. "Don't."
But James didn't hear Sirius, he was glaring at Remus.
"I've heard that come from Snape," James said. "I've heard that come from teachers and even Lily. But I never thought in a million years I'd hear it from a fellow Marauder."
Remus was shocked to see how hurt James looked.
"I'm going upstairs to change Harry," James mumbled before turning around and walking upstairs, Harry still giggling.
Author's Note: I've got five reviews! Go me! Lolz…really sad…mustn't be very good…anyway thanks to my five reviewers…oh and Laurina Lalaithe thanks for the review…I was wondering where you had gotten to and why someone I didn't know was on my favourites list…lolz…great name change…thanks heaps for the review :P