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Chapter 2

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Tegan opened her eyes for the second time and blinked.

There was light.

So much light.

Too much.

"Would someone please turn of those bloody lights!" She almost screamed in frustration.

"Tegan." There it was—his voice again.

"Doctor? Why did you turn on the lights?"

She couldn't see him but only hear him very close to her.

"I did not." He said gently.

"Alright then tell whoever it was, to turn the bloody things off. My eyes are killing me!"

Something unrecognizable was said and the lights went down completely.

"Thank you," she retorted grateful and slowly opened her eyes.

If before was too bright—now it was too dark.

"Doctor? Are you there?" She asked, somewhat sheepishly.

"I am, Tegan." He retorted and she felt his hand squeeze hers.

"Could you do something about this dark, Doc?"

The Time Lord beside her sighed and said almost inaudible. "Never satisfied, are you? Hmm?"

And then she felt him move and with a snap of his fingers the lights were on again but not as bright as before.

She felt his hand squeeze hers again and looked to her right.

And there he was—her Doctor. The tall, blonde-haired Time Lord, who never looked his real age.

Her friend.

More than twenty years have passed and he still looked the same.

The same cricketer uniform…

The same blue eyes…

The same smile.

When he smiled at her, it eased off some of her fears. Like it always did. Like it did now.

"Hello, Tegan," he said, as if they've met for the first time.

"Hello, Doctor," she smiled back and continued, "Thanks."

"You are welcome."

"So where are we, Doc?"

'Why does this look familiar?' she thought.

"Because it is." The voice beside her answered her thought and she looked at him in confusion.

"How did you—"

He smiled again and interrupted with, "Look more closely, Tegan."

She did and what she saw stunned her almost beyond words and knowing Tegan that was almost an accomplishment in itself.

They were in a white room with…with some kind of circular objects adorning the walls.

'Roundels?' she thought.

"Yes, Tegan." The Time Lord retorted.

And there it was…the um…

'The time rotor?'

"Correct again."

Her eyes grew wide as the realization struck her.

"This is the console room. We are in the…Oh Lord! The TARDIS?"

"Indeed but not quite." he simply said.

"What do you mean, 'not quite'?" she turned to him again and said angrily, "You kidnapped me?"

She removed her hand from his and he sighed.

He sounded almost sad.

"Perhaps I should explain," he started.

"Perhaps you should, Doctor."

She placed her hands on her hips and looked at him waiting.

He has missed this.

Her fiery temper.

Their banter.

Innocent arguments.

He has missed her.

"Well? Why am I here?" she asked.

He sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets. Tegan knew he did that when he was exited or anxious. He thought that she didn't know how he felt but sometimes with his mannerisms, he could be so transparent.

"This is the TARDIS but it is how you remember it."

She frowned again. Nothing of this made much sense to her.

"So what you're trying to tell me is that you did a bit of redecorating after I left?"

"Quite,"

"Well it doesn't surprise me. The TARDIS always did have a weird habit of arranging rooms on a whim. And you were always tinkering about. After twenty years or so, it was bound to happen.

"It hasn't exactly been twenty years for me, Tegan." He pointed out.

She sighed. "Ah yes, how could I forget. You are a Time Lord and the time does not exist inside the TARDIS. Is that right?"

"Almost," he said and she noted a hint of—was that regret in his voice?

"You forgot…about me?" She failed not to sound disappointed.

"I…" he started and then with a sigh he said, "I am sorry, Tegan."

"A bloody Time Lord who has no real sense of time." She said bitterly and then regretted it. "Well it's not as if I didn't expect that. After waiting for a whole year—hoping you'd come back for me…" She trailed off.

At his surprised look she continued, "Yes, there was a time, long ago, when I regretted my decision to leave you."

"But I thought—"

She placed her warm hand on his shoulder and squeezed it in reassurance. He didn't move away.

"Yes, I know. You thought I blamed you for everything. For what happened to all those people…to Adric…"

He closed his eyes, as the memory of Adric's death hit him all over again.

She once thought that he was unfeeling, a cold Time Lord. How wrong she really was. She was wrong about a lot of things and she could finally admit that.

"I am sorry." He said.

"So am I, Doc, for blaming you, when it wasn't really your fault."

"But—"

"No it wasn't, I realise that now. I was young back then, stubborn and would not listen to reason. I was also very much naïve. But the older the wiser, right?"

She smiled reassuringly at him and soon she could feel his posture relax. It was as if the burden of the whole world was eased off of his shoulders. And perhaps the guilt was that burden and it was all her fault.

"But I also wanted to thank you for leaving me."

Now he was confused. "Why?"

"Because if you hadn't I wouldn't have met my husband and I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter."

He smiled that boyish smile again. "Then…you are welcome. I had hoped it being a right decision. I am glad I was right."

"You like to be right. You always had to be." She said with some amusement.

"Tegan—"

"I know you can't help it. You are a Time Lord, after all."

"Oh, Tegan," he admonished good-naturedly.

"Now tell me, why am I here in this 'not quite' a TARDIS? And none of that 'I'll explain later' will suffice here. Tell me." She demanded.

He hung his head and stared at his white trainers.

"It is not quite a TARDIS, as I put it, because all of this—the console room, the time rotor…all those long corridors…it's not really here."

He looked up at her. His eyes appeared darker all of a sudden.

"I am not really here, Tegan."

"What do you mean? Is this some kind of a holographic projection? Are you a hologram?"

"So, you have been paying attention."

"Most of the time. But I think this is more of remembering a few phrases from the Star Trek and the like."

"Fascinating, you humans always have good explanations for everything."

"Now quit ribbing my species, you Time Lords are not that good."

"Yes. You are right to some extent," At her warning look he continued, "We—the TARDIS and I are simply a projection from your memory."

"My memory? But why—how?"

"I said I have seen the future," he retorted, ignoring her previous question, "Your future, Tegan."

She snorted, "I get it. So is this heaven, is that it? Or am I in hell?"

He shook his head. "No it is neither. Those realms do not exist. Not really."

"Don't exist?"

"Yes. I believe some of your people have explained it as 'Heaven is a state of the mind and hell is other people'."

"Oh I am so glad you are familiar with our catch-phrases." She said sarcastically and added, "But it still doesn't explain my presence here."

"You are here because you want to be. Because this is where you feel comfortable. This is one of your happier memories and I believe someone once said that a person lost to the world often finds comfort in its memories."

"You're still confusing me. If I'm not dead then why am I here? Am I in a coma, is that it?"

"Not exactly."

"Cripes, Doc, why did our conversations always seem like I'm trying to pull out your teeth. You can be so infuriating sometimes."

"So can you, Tegan."

"Alright just tell me this—am I really here? Where am I really?"

"You are here." He said simply.

"Where? I know I'm not in the TARDIS, you said so."

"You are in the hospital." He finally answered.

"That makes more sense. And you have come—what is that you said—'to help me as I've helped you'? Is that it?"

Then before he could answer the realization struck her. "You are in my mind aren't you? That's how you can hear what I think. This is all in my head."

"Correct."

"So this is all your doing?"

"The memory is yours. Everything else is my doing, as you put it."

"What else?"

"As I've said you're not in a coma per-say, you are simply meditating."

"You hypnotised me?"

"I have simply placed you in a meditative state so you can properly heal."

She sighed. "This is how you're helping me? I'm not going to die?"

"Time will tell, pun intended and you do have a bright future ahead of you."

He smiled that exited smile again and she couldn't help but mirror it.

"But isn't this meddling, changing the future? Not that you ever cared about that—"

"Not if you know the future. I am simply 'steering you in the right direction or moving things along' as you humans would say."

She nodded, finally understanding if only partially.

"So Doc, is this it? Am I going to really see you?"

"No." He said sadly.

"But why? You are going to leave me again, aren't you? Without saying goodbye. You'll escape in your TARDIS and forget about me again. Not that I didn't deserve that—"

His hand took hers again. "I am sorry, I have misled you. I have never forgotten about you, Tegan and I never will."

"Then why? Please explain—"

"I can not. This is not the time. You have to leave." He released her hand and moved toward the 'not quite time rotator'. He pulled the lever on the other side and the TARDIS entrance opened.

He motioned with his hand towards it.

She walked towards him and took his elbow with more force than she intended.

"Please let me stay for a while, Doc. Please." She pleaded but he moved away from her.

"No I can't do that. You do not belong here anymore." He said and then he added cryptically, "Neither do I."

She frowned in confusion. "I am grateful for what you did, I really am, Doc but—"

"No, you must leave. Your daughter is waiting for you."

"Alright." She sighed sadly, knowing that he was right. "Goodbye then, Doctor."

He smiled again. She noticed that in her mind, he smiled more. Well that explains it. She always did like his smiles, among other things.

"Goodbye, Tegan." He said and then she moved quickly. Before he realized what was about to happen he was embraced by her in an awkward but very warm hug. She couldn't keep a lone tear from escaping her eye. He hugged her more forcefully and then the awkwardness dissipated.

"I have…wanted to do that…the last time," She mumbled in his jacket.

"Brave heart, Tegan." He said, as he patted her back with affection.

"Brave heart, Doctor."

Unfortunately the moment didn't last long and he soon released her from the embrace.

She wiped her eyes clumsily with her sleeve. Just now did she notice that she was wearing one of her old blouses with bright colours and a black skirt?

'Lord, I had a horrible sense of fashion, back then. I hope this just came with the memory package.' She thought.

And then she heard something she never thought would ever hear.

He laughed. The Time Lord—the Doctor laughed.

She was stunned.

"You were certainly obsessed with you appearance, Tegan. I remember that much."

"Huh, like you're any better Mr Cricket-Obsessive disorder. And don't forget I saw your previous selves." She pointed out smugly.

"Yes, quite. Well I must dash!" He said to her and quickly moved towards the console again where he pressed a few buttons.

"Always running, Doc. Just when it gets interesting. I will leave but I hope this is not really goodbye." She said as she finally moved through the TARDIS door.

When the door closed behind her, he said softly, "Me too, Tegan. Me too."

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tbc