Chapter Eight: Don't Stop Believing

Phoenix Wright and Trucy Engimar
Wright Talent Agency
May 6, 2019, 4:45 PM

Phoenix had thought he'd already reached the pinnacle point of overwhelming devastation when he'd lost his badge. And yet he'd still managed to somehow keep it together and somehow not fall apart at the seams. But Edgeworth's visit had been his undoing. The moment he got upstairs to the kitchen and put the icepack on his face, he completely unraveled. A few teardrops fell.

I have nothing. Nobody. I've never been more alone. And just I can't take it anymore. This is all too much for me. I can't do this. I can't, I just can't…

No. He couldn't let himself fall apart like this. He wasn't alone. He had Trucy. He had to be strong for her. He owed it to both her and her dad. He had to keep going for her. She deserved someone to care about her and love her. She didn't deserve getting shuffled from foster home to foster home and being with people who would break her spirit.

I'm sure Edgeworth thinks I'm going to be an awful Daddy. I probably will be, but at least Trucy will have one. Oh, who am I kidding? What the hell do I know about being a father? I'm just going to screw up Trucy's life the same way I did mine.

His friend's visit had only served as the gut-wrenching reminder of all that he'd lost.

His life as an attorney…

I'm a disgraced forging attorney. A low-life ex-lawyer just like Miss Beaver-Tail Face from Children's Services said. But being the law was all that I knew. What the hell am I supposed to do with my life now?

Maya….

The other day the Department of Child Safety asked about the 'nature' of my friendship with her, and it gutted me to have to deny the love of my life and swear that we were never romantically involved with one another and she was just a kid. Because the alternative is losing my daughter. And then I'dtrulyhave nothing.

Mia...

Oh Chief, I've screwed up your legacy. I failed you. I ruined your office…How you'd despise me if you knew what I've done!

Pearls…

The girl who I loved as a daughter. The reason I thought I could maybe be a good father to Trucy was that I loved playing Daddy and Mommy with Maya for her so much. The person who always believed that Maya and I were each other's 'Special Someones' who loved each other and were meant to be together. But by the time we both finally realized she was right…it was too late for us…

And now his best friend…

That smug, smarmy, judgmental son of a bitch! I loved him. And thinking I'd lost him, well that hurt like hell. I know it sounds emo or gay or whatever, but as a straight man, I can honestly say I love Edgeworth. He was my best friend… my heterosexual life partner! That was the reason why I never hit him back. Why did he have to go and deck me for calling Franziska a bitch? It's not a secret! I honestly thought he knew!

Phoenix paused momentarily in his pity party to ruefully acknowledge his own blame on that one.

OK, fine, maybe I deserved it; I probably would have done the same thing if anyone had said something bad about Maya…I did smack that afro-haired, Southern she-devil photographer one time over Maya after all. Not that it's ever OK to hit a woman, but Lotta Hart is an exception to that rule, surely? Anyway, what does any of this matter now? Because now, just when he and I repaired that rift and we were getting close again… I've lost him to Germany and Franziska ... again!

Phoenix had no idea where it had come from. While Edgeworth packed a good punch, which would undoubtedly leave a mark on his face, he was so used to more severe forms of torture: hot coffee to the face, seeds whipped at him, birds pecking at his head, and the ilk, that ultimately, for someone with his high pain threshold, the blow had been the equivalent to a fart in a hurricane.

So it wasn't because of the physical pain of being sucker-punched by his best friend that made the tears start. But the war he'd been winning against his inner dam of tears was completely lost. First, a few more drops fell …and then the river flood commenced.

He hadn't cried in nearly ten years. It was completely ridiculous. He'd stopped being an emotive crybaby after the whole humiliating Dahlia trial in college. But cry he did. His chest heaved and his face burned. He was bawling like an infant in desperate need of a bottle, but he was powerless to stop it, regardless of how much he wanted to. He sobbed until he couldn't cry any longer, and even then, he sat at the kitchen table, shaking and sniffing. It could have been two minutes, it could have been two hours.

Trucy came back upstairs to the kitchen to find her father seated at the kitchen table, elbows up on the table with his head buried in his hands. The discarded ice pack carelessly lay on the floor, evidently forgotten. As she went to pick it up, she saw Daddy's shoulders were shaking. Was he crying? Why was daddy crying?

The little girl got up and walked around the table. Through his watery eyes, he could see her solemn face, more solemn than those of any eight-year-old should ever be. "Daddy…" she whispered, placing her hand on his back. "Why are you crying? Is it because your face hurts from bumping into the wall?"

Phoenix swallowed. Shit, she knew. She had caught him being weak. She was the one who'd been abandoned. She was the child. His daughter was the one who needed support. Yet, here he was, wallowing so much in his personal bullshit that she was comforting him. It shouldn't be this way.

Trucy smiled at him and whispered in his ear, "Don't worry, Daddy. Everything will be OK." Then to his mortification, she added, "Daddy, please, don't cry."

"I'm so sorry, Trucy," Phoenix apologized, wiping his eyes. His crying had stopped now. He was uncertain if he was OK, or even stable. He wasn't sure how he felt about a lot of things, but he know this much; he had to get his act together because this little angel was counting on him, and so far all he'd done was let her down. He'd let enough people down, including himself. But not his daughter. Never again.

"It's OK, Daddy. I love you," she said.

Fatherhood was a funny thing, Phoenix mused, taking off Trucy's top hat and gently tousling his daughter's silky reddish-brown hair. You didn't just love your kids. You fell in love with them. He couldn't believe how much he already loved this child, who up until a few weeks ago had been a stranger to him. For the life of him, he couldn't understand how her father could have abandoned such a precious gem of a daughter, the rat bastard. She was so bright and loving, and smart and pretty. So mature for her age and wise beyond her years. It was so easy to love her.

"I know it's tough for you right now… It's the same for me, my old Mommy and Daddy are gone, too. But crying won't bring them back, and we can get through this together anyway, right? I know your badge was very important to you, and you loved being a lawyer, but I saw an ad for a piano player at the Borscht Bowl, and who knows? Maybe you'll be even better at piano playing than lawyering!"

Phoenix managed to crack a small smile at the irony of it all. Phoenix Wright, Pianist Extraordinaire! Wouldn't that be a boot to the head? Oh, how his old friends would have a field day with that one! A pianist, first for play, and now for profit, in the very place they'd witnessed his debut! He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and smiled lovingly at his little girl.

We are all damaged. We have all been hurt. We have all had to learn painful lessons. We are all recovering from some mistake, loss, betrayal, abuse, injustice, or misfortune. All of life is a process of recovery that never ends. We each must find ways to accept and move through the pain and to pick ourselves back up. For each pang of grief, depression, doubt, or despair there is an inverse toward renewal coming to you in time. Each tragedy is an announcement that some good shall indeed come in time. Just be patient with yourself, Phoenix.

"Thanks, Truce. It really means a lot to me."

"No problem, Daddy," Trucy beamed. "I believe in you. I will never give up on you. And you wanna know something else? Do you know your friend Mr. Miles? Right before he left, he promised me that he would never give up on you either."

And with those words, the light of his life brightened up the dark, lurching wretchedness that had been weighing down Phoenix's heart.

Edgeworth, although you and I have crossed each other, we two are destined by the heavens to still end up together in each other's lives. Until then, we must wait and endure any hardship and danger that may come our way. But in the end, I know there will come a day when the two of us will join together to do great things.

The lingering melancholy and remaining sadness slowly melted away, replaced by the first hopeful realization in some time, that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as alone and downtrodden as he'd thought.

Mood music from this chapter - full video and lyrics on thejordanphoenix dot com:

Journey – Don't Stop Believing (chapter title)

Mariah Carey - Through The Rain

September 12, 2021: This story is now being uploaded to be more family-friendly as the previous version was removed for being too steamy and setting off the site smoke alarms, and for having song lyrics. No harm, no foul. Seriously, I'm not worried - who the heck only reads a story for song lyrics and like, TEN chapters of canoodling out of 195? That's grossly underestimating my amazing and loyal readers, wouldn't you agree?

In the meantime, as I go through the painstaking task of ensuring my new version complies with regulations per the admin's advising, in the meantime, the full uncut version of Turnabout Everlasting, and Filling The Void (the other far too sexy for this site previous casualty, which I've started reposting in a less risqué format) can be found on THEJORDANPHOENIX dot com

All 195 chapters are now on my personal site and going forward, I will be posting there first when I write new chapters, so make sure to follow me for the latest updates and direct music video links! (I am still taking reader song requests, BTW) 😄