Chapter Eleven: Here and Now

Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey
Wright Talent Agency
May 11, 2019, 3:00 PM

As Maya attempted to come to sit down on the sofa, Phoenix heard her foot accidentally hit one of his empty bottles, which were tossed listlessly on the ground by his feet. It noisily scattered across the wooden floor.

"What the –?" She got up again, picked up all the empties, and threw them into the trash, examining one of the labels closely as she did so.

"Since when are you such an avid fan of grape juice, Nick?" She arched an amused eyebrow at her boyfriend.

"It was my choice of wannabe poison after you and Pearl left for Kurain a few months ago. It's what I used to drown my lonely sorrows away in at the bar back then…now it's just force of habit, OK?" Phoenix scowled. "Ya, I know, how lame am I, right? I can't even be an alcoholic properly."

Maya bit her cheeks to keep from laughing.

"It may have been slightly less lame if you were chugging back root beer…at least that's got the name beer in it, right?"

Phoenix reluctantly cracked a smile. "Well, I wasn't about to become fixated on real alcohol, Maya! You know that costs extra!"

Maya set the bottle back into the garbage, came over, and sat down on the couch.

"I don't believe that's the reason you're not getting into the heavier spirits, Nick. I think it's because ultimately, you're made of stronger stuff than that. In the end, you know that you're better than regressing into some cheap, low-life drunk."

"You have got to take me off this freakin' pedestal you've got me on, Maya," he scoffed. You're not a kid anymore – you're a grown woman now. It's high time to take off the rose-colored glasses and realize what your so-called hero has actually become."

The words stung like a slap. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

"Come on, Nick, tell me what really happened."

"You being here means you damn well know what happened!"

"I only know what I heard on the news, Nick. And what I read in the papers – all terrible lies that I know aren't true."

"Then what else do you need to know?" He let out a humorless laugh. "After all, the news would never lie to the public now, would they?"

"Please, Nick." Maya reached for his hand again. He stiffened but didn't pull away. "Forget anything else that's ever happened between us and just talk to me…as your best friend. That's what we were before anything else happened. It's what we still are if nothing else. Talk to me."

Phoenix finally looked at her with expressionless, dead eyes.

"If you're my best friend, you'll respect my need for privacy then. I want you to leave while you still have all your illusions of me, of the man I used to be, intact. I don't want to shatter your ideal image of me that I can no longer live up to. Just… just go." He put his head back down.

The psychic could not have been more pained than if he had physically struck her. The love of her life, after taking her virtue, had decided that she'd been worth nothing more than a weekend of bed-warming. And then, when the chips were down, he preferred complete solitude than any sort of comfort or anything she had to offer him and had practically told her to walk out of his life. Never in all the years, she'd known him had he said anything like this. It was like a stab to the heart.

Maya stepped back from the sofa and clutched her locket, biting back the sob threatening to build up in her chest.

"Nick, why would you say such a thing to me? Do you blame me for not being there when this all happened? I wanted to come as soon as I got back from Japan, but then Pearly and I got really sick with a contagious stomach bug I picked up over there and I was completely bedridden… but I hope you don't feel like I trying to delay seeing you or neglecting you. Why are you being like this?"

Phoenix turned an eye to her without looking up again.

"Sorry. I'm not very good company at the moment, Maya. I'm just... not a fan of anyone or anything at present. I hate myself, my life, the whole damn world right now. Please go."

Maya had opted to forgo giving him hell for ignoring all her calls and messages. And considering the immediate circumstances that had occurred right afterward, she didn't want to bring up the subject of how he'd never contacted her after they'd been together as if she were some random hookup he'd met in a bar, even though it still had hurt terribly. But she couldn't brush it all aside entirely. Instead, she somehow managed to utter the words through the lump in her throat.

"How could you tell me you loved me just last month, and then push me away like this? You're breaking my heart, Nick."

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her to deal with the pain, which he himself had been forced to endure the past few weeks but found the words dying in his throat as he saw the tears sparkling in her beautiful dark eyes. His heart just wouldn't allow him to do it. He couldn't intentionally be cruel to the woman he loved.

"If I tell you what happened," he allowed. "Will you leave right after?"

She shouldn't be here, anyway. What if Trucy had been here when she'd gotten here? How on earth would I be able to explain that?!

Maya leaned down to study his face, which was partially hidden by an atrocious aqua beanie.

Note to self – lecture him about his hobo fashion sense at a later date.

"I don't understand. Why are you so eager to get rid of me? I get that you're angry about all this. I know how much your job meant to you and that you must be worried about how you're going to pay the bills." There was absolutely no way she could just disappear back to the village and leave Phoenix unemployed and in the lurch. "So…I'm going to pay the rent until you become a lawyer again," she spontaneously declared.

"Maya, there's no way I'm going to leech off you."

"Consider this my repayment then, for the hole I ate in your wallet all these years with my burger consumption. I can afford to do this, really. I'm Master of Kurain now, Nick. I get a cut of the budget and everything!" Her tone left no room for rebuttal.

His tenacious beauty was so stubborn. So tenacious. So… wonderful. Phoenix wondered if it was possibly illegal how much he loved her. And he did, so damn much, despite using every tactic in the book to get her to leave. She was going to be shattered when he told her the truth about why he couldn't see her anymore.

"Well, it's true, I can't afford to keep renting this," the ex-lawyer admitted, indicating the office. Mia's original practice had performed well, and it wasn't in too bad a part of town. "I'm only paid up until the end of this month."

"You see? You've got to let me help! And I… I can't just let you throw away Mia's old practice," Maya reasoned, attempting to justify her generosity. "I mean, then later we'd have to open with a new address. What a pain in the arse that would be!"

Realizing she wasn't about to budge on her unmovable stance, Phoenix, at last, retold the story of his final trial. Maya listened intently, her face unable to suppress her despair as she absorbed all the gory details about the forged diary page, the mysterious little girl who had given him, the vanishing defendant, and the 'convenient' surprise witness who had put the final nail in the coffin.

"So, as you see, it's a pure case of my complete idiocy," he finished flatly. "Meā culpā. There's nobody to blame but me." He buried his head in his hands again.

"I'm so sorry, Nick. If only I had been there. I could have…"

"Don't blame yourself," the new father told her. "There was nothing you could have done. I just took the bait; hook, line, and sinker."

Maya sighed, and gently stroked his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her palm, holding it against his unshaven stubble, reveling in the softness of her skin, before tugging at her hand and pulling her onto his lap. She nestled into him and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat before speaking up.

"We'll get through this together, Nick. We can fix this, somehow I know we can!"

"My love, it's not that easy. There's more to it than just this legal mess. There's a reason I was telling you to go. I don't think I'll be able to see you for some time."

The necromancer jerked up from her cuddled position on his lap and looked at him in disbelief. She would have thought he had to be joking, if not for the authenticity of his somber, pained expression.

"What? Why?" She gasped.

"You know that little girl I told you about, Trucy? Well, I decided to look after her when her father took off. I had to work extra hard to fight for the right to adopt her. I had to go through a sea of paperwork and have home inspections and I had to be evaluated, which is ongoing and nowhere near completed."

Maya looked around the office, and for the first time, noticed the scattered magician's props littering the place that she'd overlooked when she'd first entered. She had a sinking feeling she knew where this conversation was going, but she was so happy to be back in Phoenix's arms for the moment that she didn't want to rush the conversation, even though she knew, deep down, that she should cherish the sensation of being so close to him because it would be ending soon.

"Evaluated?" She echoed.

His next words confirmed her worst suspicions.

"Yeah, like an interview for parenthood. They have an incessant need to dig for skeletons in the closet. You know, anything that might make you less than an ideal parent."

"Well, I'm sure they were hard-pressed to find anything on you."

"Other than the fact that I present forged evidence in court and have been disbarred?"

"Right. I forget people think that's for real."

There was no doubt in Maya's mind that Phoenix had been set up. While she was surprised that her normally sharp boyfriend had so badly slipped up – had it been simply being sloppy on that case or had his luck run out? – She felt terrible about it. She couldn't help but feel if she'd been there, maybe she would have made him take a closer look at that mysterious diary page, picked up on something, and saved him from this misery. But she hadn't been there and what was done was done. One little mistake and his life had been sent in a completely new direction. It wasn't fair that a man so dedicated to his work and devoted to proving the innocence of his clients should have it all taken away from him. She'd have done anything to help him earn his badge back.

"You and Trucy are the only ones who think I'm innocent, Maya. I mean, Edgeworth says he'll help, and he says he believes me but…anyway." He took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Anyway, at one of these child safety evaluations they asked me about you."

"Oh? Why would they do that? We don't live together anymore. And now with me being Kurain Master, I'm barely going to get to see you."

Alas, my love, you have no idea just how barely that's going to be…dammit just tell her, Phoenix! Rip off that Band-Aid and stop reveling in the feeling of her in your arms, since you sure as hell won't be able to get used to it!

"Well, I was adopting a little girl and they wanted to know the nature of our relationship because you were only about what, 16, 17, when you started working for me? An under-aged minor, regardless. And there were suspicions and rumors…"

"But you set them straight?" The horror of what he was saying slowly began to dawn on her. "You told them the truth that nothing happened? I mean for heaven's sake you didn't even kiss me until I was legal drinking age!"

"Of course, and then I had to renounce us and claim I didn't have feelings for you; that you and I are like brother and sister, just pals." Phoenix had been unable to look directly at her while he said the ugly words, but he turned his head towards her now, an agonized look on his mien. "Oh, Maya! I lied! I'm so sorry! I had no choice!"

He buried his face in her shoulder.

"Nick, it's alright," Maya soothed, taking the opportunity to take off the hated hat and stroking his soft hair, running her fingers over the beloved, familiar spikes, which miraculously hadn't flattened despite the tightness of the beanie. "There's nothing to forgive. I understand."

"I hate this!" The disbarred attorney's voice was muffled against her neck as he spoke. "I hate myself for having to lie about you! I had to deny the love of my life! I had to … just so that wretched old biddy of a social worker wouldn't think I was some kind of pervert; like I wanted to groom a little girl to become…"

He couldn't finish the sentence.

"Nick, it's OK. Calm down." Maya's voice was firm. She pulled up his head and looked him directly in the eye. "Tell me, what are the challenges of this case?"

Despite her take-charge demeanor, Phoenix saw the wretched empathy and love mingling in her expression. More than anything in the world all he wanted to do was bury his lips against hers and forget about his plight, even temporarily. But he needed to focus right now. His eyes were red, but he managed a small grin. Talking in pseudo-legal terms helped put things into a clearer perspective for him.

"Well, I have a daughter who is not fully, legally mine. These processes take God knows how long…and one of the conditions of her remaining with me is I appear of upstanding moral fiber. In other words, I don't fall in love or have sex with my employees who were living with me while underage."

"Right, the fact we're like this now would cast doubt on your previous testimony that nothing was going on, even though it was true. For the most part anyway."

That night of my birthday notwithstanding…

"This is why we can't see each other right now, my love. I've been taking the coward's path and dodging you by not returning your calls because I couldn't stand to tell you the ugly truth. I've had a difficult enough time dealing with it myself. It's a relief that Trucy's at school right now. I wouldn't know how to explain who you are to her. And I really don't want Trucy to have to lie about us. I can't see how teaching her to lie is being a good role model for her." Phoenix looked absolutely miserable. "Maya, I can't choose between you two. I can't."

Her eyes widened as she realized this is what he'd been fretting over, the big dope! He should have known that she would never tell him to give his daughter up, but he'd been worried that he wouldn't have a choice. The poor child didn't deserve to grow up without parents. Maya knew firsthand what that was like and wouldn't have wished that on anyone, especially since she could see some traces of the old Phoenix whenever he spoke of Trucy. The grumpy, apathetic persona withered away, replaced by some of his former spark and vigor, which used to be directed for his work. If all of that was going to be directed now at Trucy, at fatherhood, so be it. Perhaps it was for the best for him to have somebody to look after…or rather, have somebody look after him. To give him a purpose in life and be there for him, because right now, it appeared that the cruel hand of fate dictated that she couldn't be able to.

"Of course not, Trucy needs you."

Phoenix finally took the opportunity to take in the kind, understanding, compassionate woman he was cradling in this lap as if seeing her for the first time. Her silky raven hair was down, just as it'd been the night of her party, and rather than her regular robes, she was wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, although her ethereal face was free of makeup, which he'd never thought was needed. She had such a natural beauty, one that in adulthood rivaled even that of her late sister's. He had always loved the scent of her vanilla perfume, but noticed today, despite being scent-free, she smelled just as wonderful. Like lavender soap, and pine needles, and fresh air. She was everything he'd ever wanted. The thought of being apart from her, he realized now, gutted him more than the loss of his badge ever could.

"I don't know how long this whole process will take, Maya," he expressed mournfully. "I don't know how long we'll have to be apart. It could be months…or even years. I can't be a selfish bastard and expect you to wait for me."

She looked at him steadily. He was her soulmate. And while she wanted to be with him all the time, she knew their time perhaps wasn't now. But she also knew they had endured so much together already, that this was merely a storm that would surely pass. There was no one else for her. Phoenix Wright was worth waiting for.

"But what if I want to, Nick?"

His eyes dropped from hers.

"You can't put your life on hold for me like that, Maya! You… you are so young! You have your own life, and you have your responsibilities and me… I'm too much of a mess right now to be anything to anybody right now. My daughter has to be my priority."

"Nick, like you said earlier, I'm a grown woman now," she reminded him, trying not to let her voice break. "Which means I can make my own decisions."

Phoenix let out a defeated sigh.

"So, there's nothing I can do or say to get you to walk out that door right now and make this all be nothing but a distant memory to you?"

"Not a damn thing, Nick. I love you." Her lip began to quiver. "I believe in you. And I will wait for you. Forever, if I have to."

"I love you too." He tenderly wiped a tear from her eye with his thumb. "They say anything worth having is worth waiting for."

"I thought it was worth fighting for?"

"You're worth that and more, Maya Fey. I promise I will do everything in my power to ensure that I am a man who will be worth the wait. And even though you're going to be taken away from me for a while, I swear to you from this day on, you'll always be here in my heart. Now and forevermore."

Phoenix brushed her hair out of her face, shaking his head at this willful, obstinate, firecracker of a girl who loved him more than he deserved, even as he relented and pressed a kiss against her forehead.

The Master stared up at him with sorrowful eyes.

I see you. I do. I see the hidden pain in those eyes. It has sat there for what seems like a lifetime, trapped in the confusion we all carry. I see love too, the love you would have given were it not for the scars. It's still there, baby, and one day I will set you free. I'm not perfect, yet I love you, and I know what love means. Give me a chance to find my feet, to stop my own head from spinning and I'll prove it. There is so much of your life that is hell for your soul, and you stay there from strength rather than weakness I know. So, let me join you in that pain, walk with you, feel the same torture I know you bear. And one day I'll find just the right way to bring you home, my love.

"I don't want to complicate your decision," she whispered.

"You already have."

He then kissed her so softly, it was like a breeze on her mouth. Then he closed his eyes and reached for her, letting her ease him back on the couch. His hands closed over her face, holding her as they kissed, his heart beating so intensely, he could feel all his pulse points throbbing. He just wanted to lie there forever, holding her, trusting her. Loving her.

Closing her eyes, her fingers sank into his hair and she pulled his lips tighter against hers, sinking into the kiss, dizzy with the pure bliss of it. The kiss was filled with all the aching love and bittersweetness that spoke more words than either of them could possibly say right then.

She tried to memorize the feel of his lips, the pressure of his arm on her back, the texture of his spikes as if he was going to disappear again as soon as the kiss was over. Phoenix pulled her closer as she wrapped her arms around him. When his touch turned electric, she didn't stop him, even though logically she knew she should have pushed him away. She didn't want this to be good-bye, but if this was going to be their farewell of any sort, it needed to be now, while she could still breathe through the tightness in her chest.

She turned her face up to his, but her half-felt protest became a moan of surrender as he flipped them over so she was now pinned beneath him on the sofa, driving his mouth down on hers with a hungry kiss that splintered her senses. For an instant, she was too surprised to react. She inhaled the warm, musky scent that always reminded her of him, the sensation acting like a powerful drug within her. She felt the strength in his arms and the sleek power of his body.

She could also feel the evidence of his desire against the fabric of his pants as he pressed against her. That vibration ricocheted through her, raising her heart rate, making her tremble with need. Glorious heat pooled low in her stomach, and down to her throbbing core. He moved one of his hands to the base of her neck, fingertips circling through the short hairs there. He applied just enough pressure to keep her head tilted back. She was breathing heavily now, staring up at him as he stared down at her. Right now, it was all about forgetting their painful reality and just momentarily savoring and living out their passions.

His eyes focused on her lips, and involuntarily, her tongue came out to wet them. The distance between their lips disappeared as his mouth found hers. She wove her fingers into his thick, dark hair, holding him to her. She parted her lips, inviting him inside, wanting the taste of him on her breath, filling her lungs. He accepted the invitation, deepening their kiss, flooding her senses.

One of his hands remained pressed under her back, keeping their clothed bodies locked in tortured limbo, while the other wandered over her hair, her cheek, caressing the length of her neck. Abandoning her mouth, he kissed and nipped along her jaw. She took in deep gulps of air between the moans and whimpers. When his teeth scraped roughly down her neck—which was one giant erogenous zone – she forgot to breathe, swallowing her shout and bucking against him, aching for him to join them together. Taste, touch, smell, sound, sight, every bit of her was full of Phoenix. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do to hold on to this perfect moment with the man she loved.

Their clothing drifted away. His hands smoothed down the length of her spine, molding her to him and she wished she could grow a foot, ease both their aches by notching him against her where they both wanted him to be.

Her body had never reacted like this before, never crested so high so fast. Now Maya needed
him. She drank in his labored breath as his panting mouth feasted hungrily against her own, knowing he was aching as desperately as she was. It was a heady feeling, to desire and be desired in return. It didn't matter if they had no tomorrows – they had the here and now. Here and now was about forgetting their painful reality and just momentarily savoring and living out their passions. Powerless to stop the insatiable need to be as close to him as possible, she threw all safeguards to the wind and surrendered herself to the blissful abandonment of being one with him again.

They clung to each other through the aching poignancy of it all as they tried to block out their sorrows and the cruelties of the rest of the world, and focused on nothing but one another with what precious little time they had. His hands smoothed down the length of her spine, molding her to him, as his fingers dug deep as he pulled her even closer, leaving impressions in her flesh, fingerprints in her memory that would never fade.

It was a purity of pleasure and nothingness.

Afterward, convinced he was doing the right thing and that it had nothing to do with how damn bad he had wanted to feel her soft body pressed against him, Phoenix wrapped his arms around her. She sighed, settling into his embrace, fitting against him, her head tucked beneath his chin like they'd come together this way a hundred times before. His hands had a mind of their own, stroking the silky length of her hair, kneading circles into her back. The subtle scent of floral shampoo and clean, beautiful woman filled every breath and he inhaled deeply, taking that small part of her inside as Maya lay there contentedly in his arms, and remained quite still, relaxed against him, mingling into him. He let himself go from past and future, was reduced to basking within the moment with her, in which he took her and was with her and there was nothing beyond. They were together in an elemental embrace that they both wanted to cherish for as long as they could.

Each moment spent with her convinced him that maybe, someday, she really could be his.

A part of him felt it was wrong to let her go on caring and loving him so much when he didn't even know when he would ever be able to set eyes on her again once she walked away from there. Perhaps that was why he had been driven to be with her for what might have been their last time. He didn't want to allow himself to be distracted by such bleak thoughts. He did not want to lose her. If there were any way to keep her after all this was over, he would move heaven and earth to ensure he could find it.

Mood music from this chapter - full video and lyrics on thejordanphoenix dot com:

Luther Vandross – Here and Now

October 1, 2021: This story is now being uploaded to be more family-friendly as the previous version was removed for being too steamy and setting off the site smoke alarms, and for having song lyrics. No harm, no foul. Seriously, I'm not worried - who the heck only reads a story for song lyrics and like, TEN chapters of canoodling out of 195? That's grossly underestimating my amazing and loyal readers, wouldn't you agree?

All 195 chapters are now on my personal site and going forward, I will be posting there first when I write new chapters, so make sure to follow me for the latest updates and direct music video links! (I am still taking reader song requests, BTW) 😊

In the meantime, as I go through the painstaking task of ensuring my new version complies with regulations per the admin's advising, the full uncut version of Turnabout Everlasting, and Filling The Void (the other far too sexy for this site previous casualty, which I've started reposting in a less risqué format) plus all 100+ chapters of Singing In The Courtroom (apparently we aren't allowed to post public review replies, but I can reply to my wonderful readers on my own site), where all my uncut works can be found on THEJORDANPHOENIX DOT COM