MSS: Yay! Three reviews! (Starts dancing)
Lloyd: She's been like this ALL afternoon.
MSS: Three reviews! Okay, um it's Genis' turn to do the disclaimer.
Colette: I'll get him!
MSS: Thanks. Anyway, special thanks to RoyalFanatic, Lyra the Sorceress of Scholars, and catwarrior for reviewing!
Genis: Master Summoner Sheena does not own tales of Symphonia, or the Mana Canon, etc.
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Chapter 3: Top of the List
Even though Lord Kvar only gave out spy missions to his most trusted subordinates, it didn't mean Stanley was happy to be chosen. A major reason is he is afraid of water. So the fact Rodyle's ranch is underwater didn't really help.
After he had printed a copy of the Mana Canon update, Stanley had been going to find a place where he could safely take a nap when Kvar had contacted him.
"Stanley. Forget about Pronyma. Get all the information you can on a relationship between Magnius and Rodyle. It may be useful," ordered Kvar.
"Understood. I'll do my best sir," replied Stanley. What he didn't say was he felt Kvar was losing it.
The next five hours were boring. All Rodyle did was mumble half-formed plans about what he would do once the Mana Canon was complete.
Suddenly, Magnius warped in, tear stricken.
"Rodyle!" he wailed, "Your notes and pictures! They're gone! Forever! Waaaahhh!"
"Calm down and tell me what happened," said Rodyle, gently rocking Magnius back and forth in his arms.
"Sniff. It all started when my hairdresser ruined my hair. Then a guard spilled coffee all over the shirt you got me, ruining it." Here Magnius held up a shirt with a huge coffee stain on it. "I returned to my office to find an evil sorcerer in my desk. He took it all! Every last note, poem, picture, everything! I don't know where he hid them, because I killed him before he could tell me," wailed Magnius between sobs.
"Don't worry," soothed Rodyle, "I made a copy of every single love letter I ever sent you. I'll personally print them for you."
"Really?" asked Magnius, his eyes, red from crying, glimmering with hope.
"Of course. Would I lie to you? Wait in my room. I'll join you as soon as possible," promised Rodyle.
As soon as Magnius left the room, Rodyle started typing love notes as fast as he could.
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Stanley had got it all on tape. Including what happened after Rodyle joined Magnius. Sneaking out of the ranch, he suddenly thought, Why am I in such a hurry to get back? As soon as I arrive, I'll be sent off on another pointless mission. Hmm, I have been in the mood for a vacation for a while…
Stanley decided to stop by Luin on the way back. However, the more he thought, the less he wanted to go back to the Asgard Ranch at all. Stopping at a House of Salvation for the night, his last thoughts before falling asleep were, I wonder if I could get transferred to Forcystis' ranch. At this point, he's the last sane Grand Cardinal.
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Two weeks later, Kvar was ready to kill Stanley next time he saw him. Two weeks ago, Stanley had reported he was on his way back. Two weeks ago, Kvar had been unable to sleep because of anticipation. Two weeks ago, Stanley had destroyed or turned off his radio.
Sure, Kvar had sent out search parties. There was no trace of Stanley. Ted, thinking he might get a promotion, said, "Don't worry about Stanley. I'm sure that whatever he got, my information is better."
Frustrated, both from lack of sleep and annoyance at Ted, Kvar's temper snapped, "Unlike you, Stanley has proved to be dependable and trustworthy again and again. So I gave him a second mission, one that I only trusted him with. You clearly do not have the mental capacity to take on such things. I see now it was a mistake to send you on such a crucial mission."
All Ted's hopes and dreams from the past 30 years were shattered in about one minute. Hoping to salvage something, Ted quickly replied, "Uh, I mean, I'm sure he'll arrive soon."
The words had barely left his mouth when Stanley sauntered in. Two weeks of freedom had clearly gotten to his head. He felt the happiest he'd ever felt in his whole 462 years of life. Actually, he now no longer even wanted to be a Desian. He had heard Asgard was a nice city, and apparently had some awesome ruins. Of course, he'd have to change his name so the Desians wouldn't find him. Also…
"Well?" demanded Kvar. Looking at how stressed out Kvar looked, Stanley felt he too could use a vacation.
"Hello, I've brought your proof!" said Stanley cheerfully. Seeing the looks the two Desians were giving him, he said, "What?"
"Do you have a… tan?" asked Ted. Glancing at him, Stanley wondered how he had never before noticed how sickly Ted looked. Nothing a day on the beach couldn't cure, he thought.
"Of course. Does it matter?" Stanley decided to say.
"So you mean all this time, while I've been worrying about you getting eaten by monsters, you've been ON VACATION!" demanded Kvar.
Stanley knew he would have to be really careful if he was to avoid getting killed, or worse. However, Kvar didn't know about his secret weapon. Carefully he answered Kvar, "Yes. I needed one. And you're not going to say anything about it." He held up Kvar's diary. "Look what I found. And there's enough information in here to incriminate you for the rest of your life."
Kvar was speechless. However, he recovered quickly. "All right, what did you get?"
"I have here a tape of what Rodyle and Kvar were doing when they thought nobody could see them," announced Stanley.
"Good, good!" exclaimed Kvar, the happiest he'd ever been his entire life (pretty sad, huh?).
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As he watched the tape with Stanley and Ted, Kvar's smirk rapidly turned to a disgusted frown, and then he started looking like he would throw up.
It all started innocently enough. Magnius was sitting in a chair, holding a camera. At a signal the tape didn't catch, he pressed play on the cd player next to him. Classical music started playing. Then they saw Rodyle. He was wearing a tutu and doing ballet.
"Now I get why he was wearing tights," whispered Ted.
Probably the scariest part was Rodyle was actually a good dancer. Though the three didn't know it, as a side profession he was a dance teacher. Go figure. When Rodyle finished dancing was when all three started feeling sick.
"How did you stand it?" asked Ted, looking like he would throw up any moment.
"Um, I didn't watch it," confessed Stanley, who wasn't feeling too good himself. "I felt tired, so pressed record and then took a nap. When I woke up, they were gone."
"Remember what I said, that there are some things in life you never want to see?" said Kvar, who felt even worse than the two combined, "This is at the top of the list."
And with that, all three simultaneously ran to the bathroom. The problem is, Kvar has only one in his office. All three collided in the doorway. With that, Kvar lost it. Unfortunately for Ted and Stanley, the smell caused them to lose it too. Too bad.
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MSS: If that chapter was too gross, let me know and I'll revise it.
Lloyd: Rodyle teaches dance?
MSS: I know. I feel so sorry for those kids. Even Zelos would be a better teacher.
Zelos: Hey, thanks!
Presea: That's not a compliment.
MSS: You guys finally arrived!
Sheena: Yeah. Anyways, please review!