Chapter Nine
Londo's Diary
Overhead, a photograph of Daffy Duck, Garibaldi's deity representing the Personification of Frustration according to Zack Allen, seemed to look down on him, accusing him of taking too long to pass along this most dire fountain of information found within the pages of Londo Molari's private diary. But there was no choice, as he simply had to read it once more. The first time, he merely glanced through it and the contents sent chills throughout his body. Now he had to really read it.
Sights that once comforted now frightened him. Sitting on the floor, he plunged into the diary once more, all the while keeping one eye on the shadows that seemed to dance around in his room.
***
I write this in the hopes that someone may retrieve it and flee for their lives. We have unleashed horror and I know it will consume us all. I thought that nothing could have hurt me more than the death of my beloved Adira, now almost a year past, but I failed to understand the depth of the universe's hatred of me. All those I have loved have been taken from me. I have no friends, except Vir, the one I thought lost when my Emperor ordered Babylon Five destroyed. He, to my joy, has survived, along with the station and I find that even with the loss of so many of my people, my joy was not dimmed by that discovery.
Understand that I have not cared for my life since my Adira was killed-poisoned by Lord Refa. He thinks he has gotten away with this most foul of deeds but I have been waiting for the right time. My time. I want his death to be specific and I have a plan that will achieve this and perhaps buy me a measure of peace between G'Kar and myself.
I know G'Kar hates me, but his hatred is only that of one that expresses it towards another, not even a fraction of the self-loathing of one who is burned with eternal guilt.
My actions have not been…honorable and I feel responsible for a war between his people and mine that cost the lives of millions of people. At night, I find myself awake counting the number of Narn that have died as a consequence of my actions. That Mr. Morden and his associates are responsible in part is not subject to doubt, but I cannot blame them for my own personal actions. This is something that I must rectify for the rest to my life. In this way, perhaps my punishment will be less severe. When I meet my Maker, perhaps I will only swim in the blood of millions for the rest of eternity, instead of being forever drowning in it.
In my Lord's wisdom, he made me Ambassador to Z'ha'dum. I myself have been changed forever, for I have been there and no one comes from Z'ha'dum unchanged. It was a most frightening experience to actually land on the planet and having the Shadow escort accompanying us into their ancient city. To see them in the flesh is to invite madness. They are an ancient power and they know and revel in this.
The city was as large as anything I have ever seen, with towers nearly a thousand levels high, shaped in ways that I could barely imagine in my darkest nightmares. But we were not to go there, much to my relief. We were instead brought to the visitor's quarters. The rooms were remarkably mundane, but comfortable enough considering where we were. And we were not alone. There were dozens of alien species here, including humans like Mr. Morden and others. I saw a woman who called herself Anne Sheridan and I briefly wondered if she might be a relative of John Sheridan. But that is most likely not true. Humans have similar names and one tiny letter in their last names could mean that they were of an entirely different family.
They are a very odd species. One needs only to listen to their music to understand this.
More than once I wondered, why were the Shadows interested in me? I have since come to the conclusion that I was chosen because I was nothing but clay, something to be molded and shaped into the object they wanted me to become. They could have chosen Refa, but he was too devious and greedy and for their purposes, they needed someone weak. They needed someone like me and they played me like a musical instrument. However it was now they who have been played. The victory over the Vorlons had driven them insane with power. Their ancient enemies were destroyed and the fruits of that victory in their hands. And I have discovered that they have in their possession an ancient Vorlon artifact that had been lost in hyperspace for untold millennia. They brought it here. It could have been some sort of doomsday device but it was discovered to be a key. But a key to what?
That was the question on everyone's mind. There was a rumor that the Vorlons had created a doorway to a higher dimension, another plane of existence. They dared believed themselves gods and by creating this doorway, they would somehow touch the hand of God and thereby become gods themselves. But the doorway was never opened and quickly lost and no one knew why. Now it belonged to the shadows. So, they pumped energy into the dead structure just to see what would happen. The Shadows are by nature a cautious, intelligent race. So it was unconscionable to me as to why they would do such a thing. Later I understood why.
Somehow three shadow towing tugs were sucked dry of energy and that was when it began. The doorway had been sucking energy from all available sources and slowly powering itself up.
The Shadows were instantly aware that something was wrong when one of their larger vessels began firing a focused blast into what was identified as the artifact's energy collectors, causing it to glow with its new power. The artifact gleamed so brightly that we could see its radiance from our window on the planet. The Shadows began running haphazardly and frightened, and we wisely stayed in our respective rooms to prevent from being killed by the agitated aliens. Apparently, several of the creatures had gone mad and the others were frantically trying to stop their fellows from destroying valuable power resources and military installations. The place quickly erupted in madness and even the visitors began attacking one another, seemingly for no reason or pattern.
There was a pattern, it just was not clear yet. My attaché Ramier, who I must confess that I didn't like much, began also acting strangely, even for him. You see, he was more of a coward than anyone I have ever seen. And the fact that he was an informant, who reported everything I said directly to the Emperor, did not help to endear him to me. He was so unlike Vir that I took an immediate dislike to him the instant I we met. Here we were, huddled inside the diplomatic quarters fearing for our very lives and he decides to open the door. Insanity! What was he thinking? I ordered him to stop and he turned towards me and asked why wasn't I helping to prevent the Shadows warships from taking off?
Naturally, my response was typical. I laughed in his face. I couldn't help it; it was the best joke I had heard in a while. But my laughter died in my throat when I looked into his eyes and saw that he was absolutely serious. Immediately, my companions and I forgot all protocol and wrestled him onto the floor. He fought like a madman, but I found a convenient vase and a moment later he was resting comfortably on the rug.
Sweating and now more nervous than ever, I lifted my weary bones off of the floor and was immediately assaulted from yet another source. Each and every vid channel was focused on the artifact. My two attendants and I forgot about Ramier, as we were transfixed by the vision of beauty on the screen. The artifact had opened like some type tremendous locking mechanism. It reminded me of a vault opening. The light that exploded from the center of the object was bright enough to be seen from the surface. That it was a hyperspace conduit of some kind was unmistakable.
As we watched the spectacle with growing apprehension, we saw something else, a bright field of energy momentarily surrounding the object. I remembered the energy field that surrounded the Federation battleship Enterprise and its friends and assumed that this was essentially the same thing on a much larger scale. It took me a moment to realize that the field should have been invisible. Two shadow vessels had approached it and we watched stunned as two things emerged from the center of the blue swirling light. The cameras focused on it and we saw that they were small ships, probably fighters or scout ships of some sort. They were quickly joined by two others, both of whom also took up defensive positions in front of the artifact.
There has always been a belief, I've been told, held by these Shadows, that anything Vorlon that touched Z'ha'dum would kill. It was a superstition of course, a product of the hatred between the Vorlons and the Shadows races for untold millennia. But right at this moment, I began to believe they were right.
The Shadow ships wasted no time. They attacked the intruders, destroying one ship and damaging another before the vessels could return fire. I was dumbstruck by the scene playing out before my eyes. The first Shadow ship withered under the combined retaliatory strike but it continued to fight back, destroying two more even as four more alien craft emerging from the swirl, joined their brethren. The second Shadow ship wavered and shook like a drunken insect. Then it fired on the first vessel! We couldn't believe it! The Shadow defender was caught on two sides and destroyed while the second shadow ship took up stationkeeping with the alien ships to protect the artifact.
By now the entire city was in an uproar. There was fighting everywhere as Shadows fought against themselves and other aliens. Power systems dimmed as though being drained, which I found out later they were, the energy being shunted directly into the artifact. We soon discovered that the artifact was somehow directly influencing people, causing them to attack and destroy anything not a part of them. And the Shadows were not immune to this influence either.
That was enough for me to be convinced that we should immediately return to Centauri Prime. I am sure that Emperor Cartagia would have wanted us to stay, a show of solidarity if you will and that was why I had no intention of asking him for instructions. Quickly, we packed what little we could and started for the door. The general consensus was that we leave Ramier resting where he was since no one felt like carrying him. Good riddance.
But before we could open the door the Vid images again paralyzed us where we stood. There were dozens of shadow ships of every description converging on the Vorlon artifact. By now, we there were at least twenty of the alien fighters, now being joined by three cruiser-sized vessels, shaped like nothing I have ever seen before. They were thin with large energy balls attached to the rear where the engines should have been located. Their firepower was unbelievable and it marked the start of a great battle as attackers and defenders begin destroying one another. I can barely describe the carnage that occurred in those few seconds. Large Shadow vessels crumpled and died under the brutal assaults of the alien destroyers. The initial vessels finally died under the combined assault of no less than fifteen Shadow spider vessels, but five more of the alien battle cruisers transitioned the gateway. They were supported by dozens of the fighters and a larger double ringed battleship.
That was the last thing I remember seeing on the visor. I found myself running towards the shuttle in my encumbering environmental suit. Above me, the sky was full of Shadow vessels and flickering lights. On the eve of their celebration of their victory against the Vorlons, they were involved in the greatest fight of their lives against an enemy with obviously superior firepower. There were hundreds, no thousands of people running for the safety of their ships with only one purpose-to get away from the fighting. I saw Shadow slashing people into pieces in their own desperation and madness. The dark skies of Z'ha'dum were bright with explosions of dead and dying ships. It had been less than an hour since the doorway opened, but already our scanners had counted over two hundred vessels emerging from it and more following. Shadow warshipss were everywhere, thick enough to step on, trying to destroy the doorway and the ships spewing forth from them. They were caught unprepared and now seemed to be losing, just as the first of the Drakh warships appeared, adding their firepower to those of their masters…
***
G'Kar slumped a little. This was a side he'd rarely seen in Londo and what he would do or say about it would have to come later. Right now, his mind whirled. What could destroy Shadow ships with such impunity? And what did it mean for his people and the others in general?
As in a trance, he continued reading.
***
By then we were airborne, heading quickly to the safety of space and the nearest expedient jump point, with no other thoughts than surviving the next few minutes. We were literally surrounded by dozens of different ships all trying to occupy the same area of space. Ships crashed into one another and some even fired on each other trying to clear paths away from the fighting. Shadow vessels in their rush to join their fellow combat ships destroyed many ships already in orbit. Beams of energy sliced through them as the Shadows rushed to engage the enemy.
But, by some miracle we found ourselves heading towards safety, dodging Shadows vessels, appearing from nowhere, hot and eager to engage the enemy. More and more Drakh battle cruisers and carriers poured weapons fire at the doorway in a desperate attempt to destroy it. But the shield held and the enemy multiplied like carrion beetles. It must have been my imagination but I could have sworn that I saw two Primus warships clothed in shadow armor rushing to defend Dum. Now, I understand that my fear must have made me irrational during that terrible time and I was seeing things that could not possibly be.
At that point, I did not care. Space was rapidly filling up with broken ships, but we were somehow safely out of immediate danger from ramming and the energy discharges coming from our so-called friends and foes. Suddenly, our ship turned towards the fighting once more! I ran towards the cockpit and screamed as I saw the pilot struggling with the co-pilot. Savagely, the pilot pulled a weapon and shot the co-pilot and continued the suicide run towards the nearest Shadow vessel with the intention of ramming it. I yelled at him to turn around but he ignored me. He kept saying that the Shadows would not be allowed to impede the great cleansing. I did the only thing I could.
I shot him. Twice.
I pulled him from the seat and took over the controls. Once more we raced for space. With the help of the wounded co-pilot we opened a jump point, but were unable to use it. A glancing blow from the enemy's plasma weapon hit our ship and we tumble out of control, being knocked away from our hyperspace entry point.
Dazed, I looked out the window at the planet. I saw several bright flashes coming from the surface. Planetary weapons fire, I assumed. Then there was another much brighter flash that covered thousands of kilometers of the surface. Then there was another. Terrified, I somehow regained control and together with the wounded co-pilot's help, we entered hyperspace just as an enemy vessel fired on us. Than the Great Maker, It missed and we escaped.
For six weeks, we traveled at maximum velocity towards Centauri Prime. But several members of our crew lay dead and dying from radiation poisoning. With the ships' computer core damaged, we were barely managed to set the controls to auto–nav and retreat to a secured, protected cabin. But before we secured ourselves, I had a choice to make. Where should we go? Our beloved leader would not tell any of the others what we had seen. He would simply save himself and leave our people to burn. EarthGov would shoot us first and ask questions later. The Minbari wouldn't even ask questions. Who else was there? We have made too many enemies. In a choice of evils there was only one lesser evil. Somewhere I could trust, even if they didn't trust me. Babylon Five. I secretly reset the nav coordinates and the auto controls.
As I write this, we are slowly suffocating. Our life support is failing, the air more foul with each breath. I don't believe we will make it to safety. But the universe needs to know what has been unleashed on Z'ha'dum and I trust Sheridan and Delenn to do the right thing, even if they hate me. Unless it is stopped, it will consume everything and despite what I feel and what I deserve, my little piece of the universe does not to deserve to burn. I fear that this may be the end of us all. I could feel them in my mind, telling me that everything was okay. I didn't believe it for in instant. Cartagia must know, Sheridan must know, everyone must know before it is too late. They must be stopped. The Shadows may have already fallen and Z'ha'dum will be only the first of many. I have set the coordinates to the edge of B5 territory. If I don't survive he must be the first to know. I trust him to…
Londo had apparently become delirious as his writing became less coherent. The ambassador had started rambling. Sheridan must be informed. In fact the entire alliance and needed to be informed of the contents of this diary. If there were a grain of truth in this! G'Kar closed the diary and quickly prepared for his meeting with Captain Sheridan. As he left his quarters, Ambassadors Kosh of the Vorlon Empire, and Guinan of the Federation representatives waiting around the first corner, surprised him.
"We must be united," Kosh said through his translator without preamble. Next to him, stood Guinan as grim as he'd ever seen her. Then the telepath Lyta came running to catch up. It was clear that they already knew what had transpired and what was in the diary. "Show Sheridan," Kosh added.
Oh yes, they knew.
***
John Sheridan was in the middle of a conference call with Captain Rachel Garrett when Kosh, Guinan, Lyta and G'Kar interrupted him. Rachel was reporting that her sensors were picking up temporal and spatial disturbances from the general direction of Z'ha'dum and he needed to know more details. He was momentarily angered, but only for a second. The four of them together meant that there was something profound going on. He was about to ask when the holographic image of Draal, the new master of the Great Machine of Epsilon Four appeared in the room.
"We have to talk, John Sheridan," the Minbari said. "It's Z'ha'dum…"
He felt the urge to sit. This was going to be bad.
Lyta was talking more to herself than to the others but everyone could hear what she was saying quite clear. "They are a power, older than even the Vorlons. They are anti-life itself. A horrible mistake…a horrible mistake…"
"Aren't they all?" whispered Guinan at an angry and frightened Kosh.
***
Of course – to be continued