DISCLAIMER: No sadly I don't own any part of POTC.

Jack stared at the gray walls surrounding him. At least he thought that they were gray, his head was throbbing too hard to make sense of much at the moment.

"Bloody hell," he muttered to himself " What have you gotten yourself into now Jack?"

1day ago…

Jack woke up to an entirely too cheerful sun. The amount of rum consumed with Giselle the night before did not seem to help with his outlook on life. Some nameless girl was snoring away beside him. He always found it disconcerting how much rum could make a person seem a lot more attractive, he shrugged his head, such was life. He left some gold coins on the pillow, through on a shirt and sauntered out of his usual hotel room, not wanting to deal with her when she woke up, they were always much too chatty in the mornings.

Stumbling down the stairs he was greeted by Tom the barkeep.

"Hello there Jack, how was last night?" he smirked.

"Tell me Tom how many bottles of rum did I consume last night, because I seem to be past my usual state of utter drunkenness."

Tom chuckled, "I lost count after 6."

"Well that explains why there are two of you," he groaned "You'd better hand me another one mate." He had never really learnt why more alcohol made him feel better. Oh, well Jack had never pretended to be a man of knowledge, why start trying to figure things out now?

"Why hello there darling," the girl he had found in his bed last night purred.

"Hello….umm." Per usual Jack had no idea what the girl's name was.

"It's Scarlet you bastard!" she screamed slapping Jack and walking off in a huff.

Tom and his barkeeps burst into laughter after looking at Jack's stunned face.

"Better luck next time Sparrow." He chuckled.

" Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow."

Jack stumbled out onto the street, it turns out the sun is much brighter outside. He grimaced. Despite his massive headache and the fact that whatshername's slap was still stinging his face, Jack was in a very good mood today. He was about to ship out from Tortuga and sail to his precious island, oh sure being stranded there wasn't the best experience of his life but now he had turned it into a regular paradise. Where he could stock up on rum, lots of rum.

He wondered around Tortuga all day visiting old friends, getting slapped by old whores: the usual. As Jack turned into a particularly dark alleyway he heard a series of drunken male voices and then a cultured female voice.

"Come on darling," one sneered " Give us a go."

"Actually I really would rather not. Thank you so much for the offer but I must get going."

Her voice was dripping in sarcasm. Jack was amused she certainly had courage this lass, but he really had better go help her before those louts got it through their thick skulls that she was refusing and raped her. He heard a struggle and followed the noise to happen upon one of the most hilarious scenes he had ever seen.

One of the men tried to grope the slender woman and she pulled a cutlass on him, laying it not so gently on his throat.

"Now play nice gentlemen, I said that I didn't have the time."

Jack stayed back, if she came into any real trouble he would help her, but she could obviously handle herself, the only thing that remained to be seen was if she could use that cutlass.

"Heheh, it looks like we got a wild one men, all the more fun to break her in."

The brown haired woman wasted no time slitting his throat, "Anyone care to join him?"

The men closed in on her clearly having consumed too much alcohol to register what had happened to their other member. She made quick work of yet another and then they seemed to catch on properly and ran off.

"Bloody hell." She breathed wiping off her weapon on one of the dead men.

"Have you no respect for the dead lass?" Jack stepped out of the shadows.

"Leave me alone, or I will extend the same courtesy to you."

"Easy lass. I'm not gonna harm you any." Jack was shocked at the ferocity in her hazel eyes, they were snarling at him.

"Never has there been a man that has said that and meant it Mr…."

"Captain Jack Sparrow." He supplied

"Ah…. Well Mr. Sparrow that explains the hat." She teased, she read him as the kind of man that easily lost his temper. She was right.

" IT'S CAPTAIN HOW MANY GODDAM TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!"

She smirked, showing that she had a sense of humour "You are Mr. Sparrow until I am satisfied that you are a worthy of the title captain."

"Oh god help me, she's educated."

And just as quickly she was angry again. "Should women not be educated then? Would you rather we were all dumb?"

"Lass it is much too late to be going over this……HEY GIVE ME BACK MY HAT!"

"Goodbye Mr. Sparrow, learn to respect women and you will get your hat back." She was running away unbelievably fast for someone wearing skirts and he had lost her in a few seconds.

"Bugger, COME BACK WITH MY HAT YOU WANKER!"

Unfortunately Jack then choose this ever so convenient time to run into Commodore Norrington.

"Ah…Mr. Sparrow. You just made my day."

"Well I must say that it is such a treat to run into you old chap must do it again sometime. Much to my disappointment I have a previous engagement so I must be off. Cheerio!"

Norrington ground his teeth, he hated when people mocked him especially Jack Sparrow.

"Mr. Sparrow I'm afraid that you have a much more previous engagement with a certain prison cell."

Two guards moved forward to clap Jack in irons. He sighed, now he was going to have to wait a lot longer for his rum.

AN: Okay PLEASE review because I am extremely new at this and would really like some constructive criticism if you have some. Thanks.