Disclaimer:- This is fanfiction and I do not make any money from this. I write this without the permission of JKR. Everything you find in this story is completely fictional and bears no resemblance to anyone, living or dead.

Prologue

Each chapter begins with a few lines from the original books, highlighted in bold. Then there is the point of divergence; one of the characters in the problematic scene (mostly Harry himself) point the problem out. They then proceed to emphasize their point with examples or logical arguments. Now remember, not all chapters will fit into that specific format. Sometimes the character will choose to act later, for reasons that will be made obvious in the chapter itself. Sometimes the chapter will contain two or three of these 'problematic scenes' separated by a horizontal line.

Haven't we all thought at some point in reading Harry Potter that wizards are really stupid sometimes? That their common sense seems to be notably absent when it is needed the most? Well, this story takes each of those scenes from the Prisoner of Azkaban and proceeds to dissect them for the entertainment of us all.

Note: They are all independent of each other. They are separate little AU's that have no relation to each other!

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Chapter One: In Which Bodies are Bound

Pettigrew was still wheezing behind him.

"Very well," said Lupin. "Stand aside, Harry."

Harry hesitated.

"I'm going to tie him up," said Lupin. "That's all, I swear."

"Huh? Why would you tie him up? Why not use a spell to restrain him?" inquired Harry.

"Good point, Harry. Which spell do you think is appropriate for the occasion?"

"The Full Body-Bind," he answered. "Hermione used it in first year."

"Really? First year? That's wonderful, Hermione. The spell isn't much in combat, but great when you are taking prisoners."

Hermione glowed because of the praise.

Lupin pointed his wand at Pettigrew. "Petrificus Totalus!"

Pettigrew immediately went immobile.

"Shall we step out into the night, Harry?"

"Actually, I think you are forgetting someone — Snape, who wants you both snogging the Dementors."

Ron snickered at that.

Harry continued unperturbed, "One Full Body-Bind for him too!"

"Good point again, Harry. Honestly, I don't know what we would do without you."

He blushed.

Lupin pointed his wand at Snape. "Petrificus Totalus!"

Snape went immobile.

"Anything else we are missing?" asked Lupin.

"Did you take your potion today, Professor? Today is a full moon, so . . ."

"Oops," said Lupin.

"Okay, don't panic, don't panic," Harry said, panicking. "We have two people in Body-Binds, one guy in a splint, one semi-deranged escaped prisoner, one werewolf who is about to transform, one brilliant witch and me. Okay, here's the plan. We are third year students, so no-one is going to listen to us. You are a werewolf, so no-one is going to listen to you anyway. Sorry, Professor," he added hastily.

"It's fine. Please go on."

"As I was saying, escaped prisoner Sirius Black will be Kissed first, asked questions later. That leaves . . . Snape. He is the only one who has credibility enough to at least get Sirius a trial. The Ministry won't even bother to look at us otherwise," said Harry with conviction.

Everyone was looking at him like he was crazy.

"What? I'm serious!"

"Nope, you're Harry. He's Sirius," joked Lupin.

Sirius laughed for the first time in twelve years. The others didn't appreciate the sentimental value though, and groaned at the pun.

"No, really, I wasn't kidding. We need to wake Snape up and show him Pettigrew. He will be restrained, of course," said Harry.

Lupin pointed his wand at Snape. "Rennervate! Petrificus Totalus!"

Snape awoke only to find himself in a Full Body-Bind.

They explained. They explained some more. Snape was unBound and given his wand back.

He immediately took charge of the situation. The werewolf was to remain there, the students, Black, the traitor and him were to go to the castle. This time, the convoy wasn't disrupted by the sudden transformation of a werewolf. And Pettigrew couldn't run away as a rat, because he was bound magically.

End result was rather great —

The execution of the hippogriff Buckbeak was put on indefinite hold by the Chief Warlock because of new evidence. Sirius Black was exonerated, though he was given a rather large fine for endangering the Statute of Secrecy. He had confronted Peter in a street full of Muggles, after all. But he was well compensated by the Ministry for his wrongful imprisonment, which came from the Wrongful Imprisonment Fund, which had been set up by Lucius Malfoy for his Death Eater buddies, ironically. Harry and Sirius had a good laugh over that.

Fudge was sacked. Lupin kept his job, and the curse on the DADA position was broken. Students actually learned stuff in class now. A Defense Association was set up by one Harry Potter, and was officially registered with the Ministry. In other news, Snape looked much less sour nowadays.

AN: Many writers use non-canon stuff and OOC behaviour to accomplish the exoneration of Sirius. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I want to stick to canon as much as possible.

Fact 1: I consider the Full Body-Bind to be yet another deus ex machina. It can solve many of canon's problems.

Fact 2: I'm sure many wizards use the spell to restrain their victims while they do . . . very bad things to them in the wizarding world. You know what I'm talking about.

Also, third year canon would be over in two seconds if they just thought to use a spell Hermione could do in first year!