Just a Crush
DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns these characters. I do not. It's all very sad, but my therapist says that the first step to overcoming the depression caused by this fact is first to admit it…
SUMMARY: Kathy Stabler is devastated when Elliot admits he has a crush on Olivia Benson. Nothing goes as planned…for any of them.
SETTINGS: Somewhere between Year Two, and the beginning of Year Five.
NOTES: Beware, this is in the same vein as First Impressions and The Other Woman. It's meant to be facetious, and I am NOT an E/O shipper.
ONWARDS:
Kathy Stabler couldn't believe what she was hearing.
She'd had her suspicions of course. What woman wouldn't? She'd known for six years that her husband spent the better part of his day with a gorgeous woman who could understand him. She'd heard her husband extolling Olivia 'Liv' Benson's virtues since the first day he'd met the other woman.
She'd even asked, point blank about five years ago if her husband had been cheating on her with the infamous Liv. He'd told her 'never'.
But to suddenly have to sit through her husband's explanation of a crush he'd been harbouring was a little too much for her to bear.
She and her husband had a long-standing arrangement since the beginning of their marriage. If either of them developed a crush, they would tell the other, and laugh over it. It helped keep them honest, it meant they were communicating, and usually with the telling of a crush, it would go away.
But Kathy Stabler knew in her heart that it was more than a crush. More than the random women that Elliot had confessed to finding attractive. This hurt more than the time he'd told her about the crush he'd had on the girl in the coffee shop where he got donuts every morning.
What she hated about all of this was that despite wanting to hate Olivia Benson with her entire being, she actually liked the woman. She truly enjoyed the time they'd spent together. Olivia was a charming woman when she opened up. She was witty, and great with all of the Stabler kids. She knew exactly what to buy them for Christmases and birthdays, and was among the first to call Kathy to offer congratulations about her promotion.
Hell, she could understand the attraction! Olivia Benson was an incredible woman. Passionate, mysterious, beautiful. What man wouldn't be attracted to her?
It wasn't the first time Elliot had confessed a crush on a colleague. It wouldn't be the last time, she suspected, but Kathy couldn't stand the fact that this latest crush was someone that she trusted. Someone she genuinely cared about, despite the fact that Olivia Benson made her nervous when it came to trusting her husband's fidelity. She knew that she would lose Elliot if Olivia ever turned to him.
"Does…I mean, you and Liv…" and when had the other woman become Liv, to her, she wondered. "Olivia, I mean, are you two…" she couldn't finish the question. The thought of her husband and Olivia in bed together…the thought of Elliot giving his toe-curling kisses to another woman just ached.
"Kathy it's a crush!" Elliot said, hoping that his wife would laugh it off. They usually did. This was how they dealt with these things. It made sure that neither of them were jealous. But something had back-fired.
Kathy breathed a sigh of relief. That didn't make it any easier to acknowledge the fact that her husband wanted to sleep with Olivia. He wanted to kiss in her that sexy way that melted her every time, and press his lips close to her ear, whispering all sorts of beautiful things as she came closer and closer to orgasm.
She swallowed hard, trying not to think about it.
Elliot Stabler was her husband! He shouldn't have been thinking those thoughts about his partner. It didn't matter how gorgeous, or how understanding, or how friendly the other woman was. She was off-limits, and Kathy Stabler was going to make sure that both her husband, and Liv –Olivia, godammit!- understood that.
Kathy stood, grabbing her jacket and the car keys. Elliot stood quickly, grabbing his coat and following his wife into the night. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to tell Olivia to stay the hell away from you, is where I'm going," Kathy replied.
It didn't matter that she wasn't thinking clearly. It didn't matter that she was angry as hell. It didn't matter that it was just a crush. It didn't matter that Olivia hadn't slept with her husband. Yet. It was the 'yet' that pushed her into starting the car.
Elliot jumped into the passengers seat, even as Kathy pulled out of the driveway.
"Are you crazy?" Elliot asked, as his wife sped down the abandoned street. It was nearly two in the morning and the only cars on the street were parked.
"Not crazy," Kathy replied.
"Kathy, I told you, it's just a crush," Elliot said. "We always tell each other our crushes. We've both had dozens of them. You've never jumped in the car to tell them about it."
"I'm just going to calmly explain that there's no way in hell I'm letting her sink her claws into my husband."
It was uncharitable really. Kathy had never once got the impression that Olivia was interested in Elliot. And Kathy had definitely been looking. But now was not the time for rational thought.
For eighteen minutes, Elliot tried to convince his wife that this was a bad idea. That she just needed to calm down, that they could talk about this.
Unfortunately, once Kathy's mind had been made up, there was to be no stopping her.
Even as Kathy made her way up the stairs to Olivia's apartment, Elliot was trying to talk her out of it, but Kathy ignored his words, and pulled away from his grabby hands.
The second she got to Olivia's front door, she began pounding her fist against the wood, yelling out the other woman's name, demanding for her to open the door.
The moment the door was opened, Kathy pushed her way inside, closed and locked the door, leaving her husband in the hallway. In her half-awake state, Olivia didn't even realise that only half of her uninvited guests had entered.
"Kat…what's wrong?" Olivia asked, wiping sleep from her eyes. "Are you okay? The kids, are they…"
The slap across the face was effective in waking Olivia up completely.
She brought her hand up to her cheek, turning confused eyes to her partner's wife, and someone she thought she could call a friend.
"Don't call me that," Kathy said, her voice shaking. She couldn't believe she'd hit Olivia like that, but everything had been happening so quickly.
Olivia stared at her for a moment, trying to work things out in her head. She knew Elliot was safe, she'd seen him leave the precinct hours ago. She had no idea what she'd done to upset Kathy so badly, but she knew she had to fix it.
Without a word, Olivia walked the few feet into her kitchenette area and grabbed the bottle of juice from the fridge. She poured two glasses and silently handed one to the shaking blonde.
"How bout we sit down," Olivia suggested. "And we can talk about whatever's upsetting you."
"Don't…don't talk to me like I'm one of your victims, Olivia," Kathy said. "I deserve more than that from you."
Olivia nodded, trying to understand what was happening, but she was still coming up blank.
"Okay…just…just tell me that you're okay. That your kids are alright," Olivia said.
The Stabler kids were one of the biggest sources of joy for Olivia, and her heart was dreading the news she was sure Kathy had.
Kathy could only stare at the other woman. This was not what she'd been expecting. Not once had Olivia asked about Elliot. She'd actually asked if Kathy was alright…even after Kathy had hit her.
With shaky legs, Kathy sat down on the couch, clinging onto the condensing glass of juice, watching as drops of water trailed down around her fingers.
"Do you love him?" Kathy whispered.
"What?"
Kathy looked up into Olivia's confused face, trying to read the other woman she thought she could trust.
"Do you love him?" Kathy repeated, slower, louder, sadder.
"Elliot?" Olivia questioned. "I'd do anything for him, you know that. Is he in trouble?"
Kathy shook her head and glanced at the door as it clicked open. She'd known the lock wouldn't keep him out. She wondered if Olivia had given him a key, or if he'd had to pick the lock.
"El…what the hell is going on?" Olivia asked, swinging her head back and forth between husband and wife.
She knew they'd been having problems, but she'd never been literally in the middle of them.
Elliot winced, knowing that his partner had to be confused by the sudden appearance of the Stabler's. He noticed the slight reddish tinge across his partner's face that looked distinctly like a palm print, the exact size of his wife's hand.
"Did you hit her?" Elliot asked, furious.
"El, it's fine," Olivia jumped in. "What is going on? Are your kids alright?"
"The kids are fine," Elliot replied, wondering what his children had to do with anything.
Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, and sank down into a chair.
Kathy glanced at her husband, who was staring at Olivia. Or, more correctly, her husband was staring at Olivia's legs. She rolled her eyes, wondering why her husband's partner couldn't have chosen more modest sleeping wear. It seemed that Detective Benson's taste in pyjamas ran to shorts and a string-tie tank. Her hair was ruffled from sleep, and even dishevelled as she was, she was still a beautiful woman.
She didn't know who to hate more.
"Aren't you going to tell her, El?" Kathy asked, emphasising the nickname that Olivia had called her husband.
"Kathy…now's not the time," Elliot warned.
He should never have told his wife that he had a crush on his partner. He should have known that Kathy wouldn't take it very well. He should have seen her insecurity when it came to Olivia Benson.
And then there was the fact that he didn't want to ruin his friendship with Olivia. She was the best friend he'd ever had, loyal to a fault, and gorgeous to boot. Of course he had a crush on her, but she didn't need to know that.
"I think now's a pretty good time," Kathy replied. "Your partner has the right to know."
"To know what?" Olivia asked, trying not to yawn.
"That he's got a crush on you," Kathy spat out, bitterness tinging her voice, anger rising in the air.
Olivia froze, her eyes lifting to see Elliot's. Elliot looked away, unable to believe that his wife had actually blurted out about Elliot's crush like that. He didn't think she'd be able to do it. Then again, he should have learned to never under-estimate a woman scorned.
The room fell silent, each of the trio trying to work through their feelings, trying to work out what to say.
And in the silence of the room, they heard the toilet in Olivia's ensuite flushing.
Olivia froze, Elliot's jaw dropped, and Kathy's eyes nearly fell from their sockets.
"Who the hell is in there?" Elliot demanded, his anger at his wife, and his own temperamental nature getting the best of him.
"That's none of your business," Olivia replied instantly.
"Are you in love with him!"
"Again…none of your business," Olivia said.
"Are you…are you in love with him?" Kathy asked quietly, tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had driven like a crazy person, barged into Olivia's apartment in the middle of the night, slapped her, and all the while Olivia had someone that she loved. All because of Elliot's crush on his partner.
Olivia glanced over at Kathy, seeing the tears, the fear in her eyes. She'd obviously caught the tail end of a fight, and if hearing the truth about Olivia could make Kathy feel any better, then Olivia would tell her the truth.
"No," Olivia replied quietly.
Kathy's heart fell. Elliot breathed a sigh of relief. And Olivia closed her eyes, not wanting to see the reactions to her next admission.
"I love her."
Elliot's heart fell. Kathy breathed a sigh of relief. And Alex Cabot walked sleepily into the living room.
000000000000000
Alex, having heard Olivia's quiet admission of love, moved quietly to sit beside her lover. She'd missed the rest of the conversation, but if Liv was outing herself to her partner, then Alex wasn't going to miss a second.
Elliot looked as though he was about to faint, and Kathy wasn't looking much better.
"Oh god…" Kathy whispered, feeling sick.
"Kat…Kathy, please, I – we – wanted to tell you guys," Olivia said, not completely understanding what was happening tonight, but knowing that her friendship with the Stabler's could very well be on the line. She was trying to ignore what Kathy had said about Elliot, but it was hard to forget.
"Oh god…Liv, I am so sorry," Kathy said, forcing herself to look up at her friend. "I…Elliot, he said…and I assumed the worse. I thought that you and he were…"
"No! Never!" Olivia cried. She tried not to notice as Elliot flinched at her vehement denial. "I love Elliot, don't get me wrong, but…I'm in love with Alex. Elliot is…he's my best friend, my partner. My brother."
"Brother?" both Stabler's repeated, one pained, and the other relieved.
"Yeah, El…I – I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear," Olivia said.
"You're gay?" Elliot asked.
"Bisexual," Olivia replied. "Though I prefer women."
Alex squeezed her lover's hand, knowing how hard this was for Olivia. The Stabler's were the only family that Olivia had, and Alex knew that Olivia needed them more than they realised.
"It's…I mean, it's just a crush, right?" Olivia questioned.
She couldn't afford to lose her relationship with the Stabler's. They were her safe harbour, whether they knew it or not. They were the only family she had, and there was no way in hell she would lose them over something like this.
Elliot swallowed hard. It didn't matter that it was only a fantasy, only a schoolboy crush. It still hurt. He supposed, that was why they called them 'crushes'. It was a blow to the ego, really.
"Yeah, Liv," he replied sadly. "Just a crush."
Olivia sighed with relief, and her grip on Alex's hand loosened slightly, though she didn't let go.
Elliot shook himself, fighting to regain his composure. He knew it was best this way. He didn't know what would have happened if Olivia had loved him in that way. He knew he'd come very close to loosing both his wife, and his partner in one blow.
Blow to the ego or not, Liv's feelings for Cabot had just saved his marriage.
Not to mention the fact that he now had excellent teasing material.
"Just one thing Liv," Elliot said, with a grin that made the three women opposite him completely relax. "How the hell d'you manage to score a woman like Cabot?"
Olivia grinned, knowing the teasing was an olive branch, and that not only did he accept she and Alex as a couple, but he was going to try and forget this whole mess. She glanced at Kathy, who seemed thrilled with the outcome of the evening, and knew that even though Elliot and his wife had a lot of talking to do, she could help get him back on track.
"Same way you scored a woman like your wife."
END