Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "You know, every night, I go to bed and thank God that I no longer have any eight graders. They're are just so much trouble." - Mrs. Belzer, on our class.

Especially when Guppie asked if he could go as Pineapple to see what he saved his own project under.

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Chapter 30

So Not Happening

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"This isn't happening." I said "This is SO not happening."

"I warned you." said Trisher "I warned you."

"You did not!"
"Did so!"

"Did NOT!"

"Did SO!"

"Will you two just shut up?!"

"You want to say that to my face?" I responded

"If you'll alow us to apologize." one said, his voice dripping with sarcasm

"Hey!" said Trisher "Paige is the Only one that is allowed to be sarcastic around here, she does it enough, no one else needs to."

"Yeah!" I said agreeing with Trisher

There was an impatient sigh.

Maybe I should explain how we got here.

You see, it wen't sort of like this:

Trisher and I were insanely running around Minas Tirith, looking for the blonde broad, 'Eowyn', and Faramir.

And I guess Trisher was looking for Boromir, I don't know, I'm a bit self-centered.

But Anyway...

As we peeked around yet another corner, we found ourselves in a rather tough sitiuation.

"Paige?" said Trisher

"Dang," I said "This is like the bad part of Flint or Lansing. Even worse than the field behind the Prarie."

Now, if you have never been to the bad side of Flint or Lansing, or to the red-neck bar, 'The Prarie', then you don't have a good picture. This place had been ravaged by war, and like the shadows seemed like they were going to attack you.

Not a nice place.

"Paige!" said Trisher in a warning voice

"Suttup!" I said "Dude, you need to be like quiet, I don't want to find anything, or have anything find us. Let's just turn around."

"Not possible."

"Look, I know your all miss optimism, the glass is half-full, but I'm sick of wandering around. I don't want to go ahead and never turn back."

"That's not why we can't turn around." said Trisher

"OH really?" I said turning around to face her. "Why can't we turn around?"

But I said that last bit slower becuase there were, people, there.

"Hi," I said smiling,

They grinned

"This is SO not happening." I said

"Think again Paige Marissa." Trisher said

"I dont wanna." I said

They kept grinning.

"Are they part Chesire cat?" asked Trisher

"I dont wanna think about it." I said

They were still grinning.

"Let's try to get around them?" suggested Trisher

"Uh-huh." I said

"Okay." So Trisher and I tried to get around them.

It didn't work. They just moved, grinning of course, into our way.

"Dudes," said Trisher "Please move."

"Why?" asked one

"Cuz I said so. "

"That's not a very good reason."

"Paige." said Trisher

"What?"

"Tell them who you are."

"Who am I?"

"Oh for pitie's sake. By Order of the Princess of Ithilien, that's her, and the Stewardess of Gondor, MOVE!"

"Thank you." I said.

"We can't" they said

"Why not?" demanded Trisher

"You are no longer in a place were the rules and laws of Gondor apply."

"Really?" I asked

"Atta girl," said Trisher "Go psycho on 'um."
"Yes." They responded

"Whatcha gonna do?" I asked "Kidnap us?" I laguhed "As if."

They looked at each other, still grinning.

"Aw sh-" started Trisher, but we were now kidnapped. Officialy

"You had to shoot off your mouth." said Trisher

"You encouraged me."

"If you really want to get really technical." said Trisher "You were a bad influence on me in the first place, and that bad influence influenced me to do so."

"So it really is my fault."

"Yes Paige, it is your fault that we are stuck with the Chesire people."

"If it helps," I offered "I feel really bad about kicking you earlier."

"You mean when we were actually in a real world?"

"Yeah."

"And you mean stepping on my ankle."

"That too."

"HEY!" yelled Trisher

"Yess?" asked some of the grinning people

"Can I ask why we're here?"

"Yes." they said

"Why?" asked Trisher

"Well," answered one "We normaly don't kidnap people."

"Yes, political reasons." said another

"We've been sued a few times." said yet another

"Ahhh." I said "So why us?"

"Well isn't it obvious?" one said

"Not really."

"We weren't going to kidnap you," said one "But then you told us who you were."

"Smooth move Trisher."

"Now who's fault was it that we're in here in the first place?" she retorted

"ANYWAY!" yelled one of the grinning people "We can get a LOT of money for you two, so shut up, and don't hurt each other. People don't pay for damaged merchandise."

"What!!" yelled both Trisher and I

"They better be talking about Faramir" I muttered to her

"They better not be talking about selling us as slaves."

"Why? I know my rights!" I yelled

"Really?" said the grinning people

"YES! And you are violating them!!"

"Really?"

"YUP! I am endowed with certain rights by my creator, of these being LIFE, that means you can't kill me, LIBERTY, that means that I have the liberty to leave, and PURSUIT of HAPPINESS, that means that if I want to I can go make out with Legolas if I wanted, but I wouldn't since I am happily married to an extremely HOT guy named Faramir..."

Trisher rolled her eyes

"Don't listen to her," she said "She is wacko."

"We weren't listening" they responded

"...Yeah, so anyway, these odd people are like incriminating me and like trying to get Faramir to break up with me, which is so not cool. I mean if they want a hot guy, I mean no one really cares about Lothiriel, so there's Eomer, and then Frodo, I mean get a hint, Faramir is MINE. Some people just don't get the message, am I right?"

"Yes." they answered

"Good." I said

"Now," said one of the Grinners "We need to you to right a plea to have your husbands rescue you."

"Okay." I said

Apparently, our feet were chained down, but not our hands.

Dear Faramir,

Hi! I've been kidnapped.

It's rathe funny really, becuase Trisher and I were looking for you. But things got a bit out of hand...

But anyway.

Theses dudes, (who kidnapped me), are going to talk to you are something.

Hope your okay!

Paige M.C.

Trisher's letter was a bit different

Dear Boromir

Thanks to my WONDERFUL friend, we are now kidnapped.

Please help.

Trisher Nicole

"Aw, Trisher, aren't you even going to inaquire as to how he is?" I joked

She hit me.

"HEY!" one of the Grinners yelled "DON'T HURT EACH OTHER!"

"sheesh. We do it all the time." said Trisher

"Yeah, well not anymore."

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LoL, I had to put some action in.