Dottie was lying in the hospital thinking back on her life. She really had no big regrets even after all these years. Her only one was not staying to play after that first season ended. What if? It was a dangerous thought. Don't get her wrong, her life with Bob was blissfully happy. They went back to Oregon, ran the farm, and had a family. Held each other until he passed away of old age about a year ago. She missed him dreadfully.
She knew what brought this on. She had gone to see the AAGPBL hall of fame opening about 6 months ago. She tried not to go but her daughter pushed her into it. She had tried so hard to forget. Forget the girls, forget the thrill, the passion she had played with. She tried to forget Jimmy Dugan. She knew, even back then that if she had not been married or if Bob had died during the war she would have stayed. She still remembers the night he kissed her. The night she ran away from him. The night everything got so messed up with Kit. She never told a soul what happened.
At this point she wondered.. What would have happened if she hadn't married Bob right before he left. If she had been single when that talent scout showed up on the farm.
She pulled the letter out she had received about 5 years ago. She never opened it but kept it with her always. It was from Jimmy, sent about a week before she heard of his death in the paper. It seemed it was finally time to read it, now that Bob had passed on, now that she won't be here much longer.
My dearest Dottie,
I know we haven't spoken since the day you left after the world series but since my time on this earth is almost gone I figured now would be the only time to write everything down.
When Walter Harvey got the idea for girls baseball I couldn't believe it. I thought he was insane. Girls playing baseball? Never! I remember to this day telling Ira Lowenstein that "girls are what you sleep with after the game not what you coach during it".
I can honestly say, YOU showed me I was wrong. Your flair and passion for the game. You could tell it was what you lived for. It was like looking in a mirror at times.. Minus the drinking of course.
I always used to say that there was never anything I wouldn't give to be able to play just one more game. Just one more chance.
I was wrong. There was something I wouldn't ever wish to give up. My memories of you. The fondest memory I have has stayed the same in all these years… not the 487 home runs I hit, not the world series I played in. It has always been the night I kissed you on the pitch.
I know I shouldn't have, I knew you were married. I also knew you weren't an easy girl nor would you leave him. I also know you begged Ira to transfer you that night and he assumed it was because of the fit that Kit had thrown after she was taken out of the game that day so he transferred her instead.
I'm sorry for that. I never meant to hurt you in any way. I don't know what you thought at the time but I was, am, and always will be in love with you. Even after you left I never moved on. I never got married again, I never tried dating. I took care of our girls until they didn't need me anymore and after the league was done I went back to 3-A ball. Coaching those losers. Honestly the girls were better.
I had always wondered that dreaded "what if?" … what if you hadn't been married. What if Bob never came back that day. I know it won't change anything, it's way to late for that but I just had to tell you at least once.
I love you Dottie.
Jimmy Dugan
"The Big Lush"
Dottie had tears running down her face as she finished the letter though she let out a laugh at what she had once called him. He really had been a big lush. She knew Jimmy had cared about her but never to that extent, she knew she had loved him but never acknowledged it.
That night she lay back looking at the stars. She had a picture of Bob and all the letters she had received from him as well as a picture of Jimmy and the letter she had just read. She had always wondered.. What would have happened? What if she hadn't married Bob? What if they had stayed broken up after their last fight before the draft came around?
As her eyes slowly closed that night she never realized she would have a chance to find out.
The next morning Kit opened the door to find Dottie had passed away in her bed with the letter from Jimmy in her hand.
"Oh Dottie…" Kit said as she finally understood.
"Dottie! Wake up! You have chores to do!" Ma Keller yelled from downstairs.
Hearing that Dotties eyes shot open. She slowly looked around the room, seeing her childhood bedroom.
"What is going on?" she whispered to herself. She slowly looked around until she saw the clock on the dresser just barely hitting 5 a.m.. She sat up slowly and turned on the light she remembered being on her bedside table before she heard another shout from downstairs.
"I'll be down in a minute!" she yelled at the door before reaching into the drawer to pull out the diary she had kept before she had left for baseball. She looked at the date of the last entry realizing it was a few days before that scout had shown up before quickly reading the last few entries trying to figure out what was going on.
As she read she slowly came to realize she hadn't married Bob this time. Instead they had split up for good, she was happy about it apparently. She wanted to get away from the dairy, she wanted to do something with her life. It was basically what she remembered of herself before she married Bob.
Well, if this is a second chance and if it stays the same… I guess we'll have to see what happens. If Jimmy even notices me this time around now that I'm not married.
Dottie sighed as she got dressed for the day. Dressing in her baseball outfit like she usually did before they had left. She knew they played a game each day just for something to do, she knew she would need to move around to get used to her younger body. Her reflexes seemed the same but there was a slight disconnect between her brain and her movements, then again… the last she knew she had was 70 years old. Kit had been 68. Now, she is 22 again. Kit was only 20.
She headed out to do the chores she remembered doing as a girl, her body getting better and better as the day went on until they finally left for the game that day. She hadn't felt this excited in years, not for what she used to call a silly game.
Days passed by and Dottie grew restless waiting for the scout to show. She remembered his face clearly so she scanned the crowd every game to see if it was time yet.
Every game she played her heart out until the day he showed up and recruited her. She still had to bargain with him so Kit could come along but she knew Kit would make it. She would prove herself to everyone, she didn't have to worry about that anymore.
Everything ended up the same. The girls on the team and their coach. She couldn't believe her luck with that. She knew she would have to step up, take charge until Jimmy dug his head out of his ass but she knew that wouldn't be hard to do.
The next few games went better than they had before since she had some idea of what she was doing now unlike last time. Finally the game came where Jimmy was reading the paper instead of passing out drunk so when Marla went up to bat she looked back quickly to see that he was watching her.
Looking him over quickly you would never guess he was only a few years older than she was. His drinking had aged him so he looked closer to 35 than the 28 she knew he was. She also knew that he would start looking better once she got him off drinking again.
After that game things started to go better and better. She still ended up on the cover of Time magazine doing the splits when they almost got shut down but to her it was worth it. They still called her the "Queen of Diamonds" which made the girls laugh and Jimmy blush when she asked who her King was going to be which turned into one of her favorite memories.
They got closer as the training sessions and games flew by until they were sitting together on the bus every trip, talking about their lives. She told him about growing up on the farm, about dating Bob until he was drafted, how despite her uncertainty she was glad Kit persuaded her to go to tryouts.
He told her about growing up in the city, playing baseball until he let alcohol take over and he did something stupid by jumping out of a window drunk after accidentally starting a fire in his room as well as his two failed marriages.
"The first woman I married was my Bob." Jimmy shot her a quick look. "We loved each other for sure, had been together for years but we knew, I think subconsciously, it would never last. She never understood my love for baseball, always wanted me to get a respectable job doing something where I would be home every night, and wanted children right away. I tried a regular job, tried to make her happy, and make it work. Tried for over a year but once I got signed to a pro team she packed up and walked out the door."
He quit talking lost in his memories before shaking his head with a wry smirk on his face. "To this day, I'm glad she did. She met a nice man about 6 months later, married him and started having kids right away. She still lives close by so we see each other at times. She always has a smile now and I could never do that for her."
He shifted in his seat to see her better leaning back against the window.
"After she left I threw myself into baseball, went along with all of the guys and turned into someone I hardly recognized. Drinking and partying, picking up girls along the way. "
He let out a sudden dry laugh.
"That's actually how I married my 2nd wife. We had a game in Vegas during my 3rd year playing and after we won the game went out on the town and the next morning woke up with somebody I never met in my bed, ring on my finger and a marriage license in my jacket pocket crumbled in a ball."
Dottie gasped, "I couldn't even imagine that. What happened after?"
Jimmy let out a loud laugh, "Well after the hangover ended and I realized what happened I told her that I was NOT going to be married to somebody I did not know. She freaked out and tried to beat the crap out of me. Later that day we actually went down and annulled the marriage so "technically" I've only been married once but it really was twice."
Dottie moved to sit sideways to look at him fully. She stared at him closely for a few minutes before shaking her head with a smile. "What happened after that?"
"Well, honestly not much had changed. I drank and drank and drank some more. I didn't go out as much, stayed in the hotel and drank every night until I passed out drunk with a cigarette in my hand and set the room on fire. When the room went up I couldn't get to the door so I jumped out the window and busted my knee. I haven't played professionally since that last season."
"Wow.. But... If all that happened because of drinking, why do you still do it?" Dottie asked, confused.
He stared at his knees thinking of what he could say to that before glancing at her and looking away to look out the window.
"Because I don't have a reason not to." He glanced at her from the corner of his eye before looking away again. "My career playing ball is over. The game I love I cannot play anymore, I'm broke, and honestly, what dame would want a washed up old baseball player?"
He rubbed at his leg for a few seconds before looking back at her. "Especially with my leg the way it is."
"Hmm.. Well the right one for a start." she shot him a smile. "Plus, the men coming home from the war, your bum knee isn't going to be much different than any of them."
"Maybe so, maybe so." He whispered before clapping his hands. "Well, time for a drink." he said, glancing over at the girl's chaperone and reaching for his flask.
"Hold on, hold on, hold on." Dotting grabs the flask from him and opens him a coke instead.
"Let's work on it Eh?"
Jimmy gives her a long look before taking the coke and taking a long drink.
"Ahh..." he shakes his head wryly.
"Good Huh?" Dottie asks with a chuckle.
"Oh yeah," he says sarcastically, shaking his head but has to smile when he sees her beaming smile at him.
As the night wore on, noise on the bus got quiet as the girls fell asleep until the last ones awake were Dottie, Jimmy and the oblivious bus driver.
The next morning Jimmy woke when the bus hit a bump and looked around as he came to. The first thing he noticed was the lack of a hangover. The second was weight against his chest. He finally looked down to see Dottie was asleep in his arms, wrapped securely around her with her face pressed against his chest so closely he could feel her every breath. He quickly looked around and noticed all the girls still asleep so he looked back down while gently smiling, running his hand over her head and down her back making her snuggle closer to him and sigh.
Unbeknownst to him, quite a few of the girls had woken up throughout the night and had seen them wrapped in each others arms. They had been watching them get closer as time went by.
Dottie woke up to someone holding her close which she hadn't felt since Bob died over a year earlier in her previous life. She slowly blinked her eyes open to see the front of a man's shirt. She could feel the muscles underneath as she slowly lifted her head to see Jimmy looking at her with a smile.
"Good morning." he bent down to whisper to her quietly.
"Mmmm good morning to you too." Dottie said with a smile.
If anyone had been watching now they would have seen Jimmy looking at her as if she was the only thing that mattered and her looking back the same way. Jimmy slowly bent down and gently kissed her forehead before pulling back to see her. She had her eyes closed with a soft smile pulling at her lips so he leaned down again and softly kissed her on the cheek which made her open her eyes and look at him. He slowly raised his hand and ran it across her cheek as she sat up slightly to look at him before he slowly leaned in giving her time to back away before he softly kissed her. He kept it chaste, only lasting for a few seconds before pulling back to see if he had screwed this all up.
Instead of seeing anger or disgust like he was expecting when she opened her eyes he saw her beaming smile with happiness shining from her. He decided to take a chance and leaned down slowly again and gave her a slightly longer kiss. It was still innocent, he didn't want to ruin her reputation. She was to important to him to do anything that would hurt her.
As the days flew past they got closer and closer while the girls watched from the back of the bus twittering away. Kit had managed to sneak pictures starting the first night they had fallen asleep together. She had even managed to get that first kiss even though she didn't realize it was the first one.
Everyone was rooting for them.. even Mrs. Cuthbert after she had spoken to Dottie privately. That was a shocking conversation for sure. Come to find out she didn't care what the girls did as long as they didn't get caught and she had some idea where to find them in an emergency. She was only there for the money while her husband was overseas and all their kids were grown. Dottie promised she'd pass the message to the girls so they would stop locking her in her room as long as she was true to her word which she turned out to be.
After that everything lightened up a lot as the girls were able to relax around her now without worrying about getting kicked off the league for going dancing and having fun. She would even help the girls get ready some nights and join in even if she just sat and listened to the music.
She still had a laugh about the first time Jimmy saw her with the girls at the dance hall sitting in a booth just listening to the music smoking a cigarette with a drink in her hand. She finally told him about their conversation on the walk back to the hotel that night.
They didn't always go dancing since Jimmy had trouble with his knee and she wanted to keep him from the alcohol since that was what had caused his early death in the last timeline since it was in the papers. She planned to keep him around for a very long time. Sometimes they went to a diner and had dinner, sometimes they just walked around until they found a bench somewhere and talked. Her favorite dates were when they would just play catch or batting practice just the two of them.
She also watched Kit grow, paid more attention this time and saw all the friendships she made with the girls she had to leave behind last time. She was glad it was past the time she got traded off last time so it didn't seem to be happening this time.
As it got closer to the world series they began talking about what they were going to do once the season was over. He said he was planning to stay in Chicago since that's where his house was. She thought about staying and finding a room somewhere and getting a job until next season. It was either that or go back to the dairy which she didn't want to do.
Later that night on their walk he was really quiet as they strolled through the park down from the boarding house but as they finally turned to head back he stopped her and asked her to think about staying. The look he had in his eyes as he said that was a desperate hope along with absolute affection and love. All of a sudden she flashed back to that letter she received before he died and knew he felt that way for her again. He was hers if she wanted him.
She thought back to all the changes he had made since the start of the season. He no longer drank, he was nicer to the girls and coached them the best he could. He was back in shape and looked his age again instead of years older because of his drinking. He took her on dates and walks and never asked for more than an innocent kiss at the end of the night even knowing he could go out and get more from someone else. They had spent all their time together for months now and she could honestly say she hadn't had a single regret about any of it. Without realizing she had stopped walking and looked down as she thought so as she lifted her head she saw doubt creeping into his eyes the longer she thought so she placed a hand on his cheek and gave him a gentle soft smile.
"Ok Jimmy, I'll stay if you're absolutely sure." She said quietly.
Jimmy quickly pulled her into a hug looking ecstatic, unable to believe she agreed to stay.
" You know, I have a large house.. depending on how many of the girls are staying we can always set it up as a boarding house. Keep the team together." He suggested softly.
"I think that's something we should all talk about and find out who's staying but I think that sounds wonderful." Dottie said with a beaming smile.
As they walked back that night they talked about setting up rooms for the girls, talking to Mrs. Cuthbert just to make sure they didn't need her to chaperone while they waited for a new season to start, different line ups and practices so the girls don't become predictable with the world series coming up. They never realized that as they walked they had an audience of the whole team that spotted them as they made their way back from dancing that night. All the girls were silently rooting for them and making plans to stay together over the break.
As the last few games passed by until it was the last game of the world series. They already knew they won as they were up by 2 games but it didn't mean they didn't play their best. The last play of the game finally came and it went spectacularly. They won by striking out the last batter.
All of a sudden she's being tackled by the whole team as they jump around and scream with excitement. Suddenly the whole stadium began to quiet down, staring down at the pitch which got all the girls looking around before they gasped in unison at something behind her.
Dottie turned around quickly to see Jimmy down on one knee with a ring box in his hand and a nervous smile on his face. She couldn't help but to gasp as she saw him. Hand flying up to cover her mouth in shock.
"Dottie, I know you didn't expect this and we haven't exactly talked about marriage but I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" Jimmy asked quietly but with a conviction everyone in the stadium could hear.
She suddenly flashed back to the letter she got from him in the last timeline and all the new memories she had and knew this was right.
"Yes!" She said quickly with a beaming smile and suddenly all she could hear was everyone going wild while Jimmy slipped the ring on her finger before getting up and spinning her around and kissing her in excitement.
She knew this was the start of something new. Something great.