Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: ABOUT YOUR DAD YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT! That was aimed at Trisher, not my loyal reviewers.

"Quit joking Tone, tell me what their like."

Antonia spun on her.

"You want to know what their like? Fine. They're a bunch of rich yuppies that own a huge house, with a four car garage, and an indoor pool. Their only problem is that they have a selfish whiney daughter that doesn't give a damn about anything or anyone."

"I do too." said Jazz.

Antonia stormed out into the hall.

"I give a damn about you!" yelled Jazz to her retreating back.

Define 'Normal', Jazz and Antonia

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Chapter 50

Consequences.

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Finally Trisher and I returned to our Library.

One thing about me. I go and do stuff without thinking, I don't care about consequences until I'm about 5 seconds away from them. That should clear some things up.

"You realize," said Trisher, "That you just promised some of the most important men, and I emphasize men because they they are sexist here, that you wouldn't run away. And you did. And got kidnapped, I might add."

I shrugged. "Ignorance is bliss. What they can't know, can't hurt them."

"Yeah, I think they saw us Paige, not everyone is as blind as you."

"I'm not blind, I'm visually impaired."

"More like mentally impaired."

I sighed, then yawned. Getting kidnapped takes a lot out of you.

"Fine." Trisher said throwing up her hands "I give up. But when they come -,"

Just then some one banged on the door. I smiled "Speak of the Devil."

Trisher groaned. "We are so dead." she said "So completely and utterly dead. My whole life is flashing before my eyes...there I am, such a cute innocent child...there's Jacob, ugly little brat...my four-wheeler...Shelby...Molly...Taking out a tree with my four-wheeler...meeting you...braking my leg...you shoving me down a hill...The Lord of the Rings...my whole life is flashing before my eyes..."

"And it is really boring." I said

I got up and walked toward a window. I opened it up. "See?" I said, swinging my leg through, "Easy as..."

Just then the door started cracking from whoever it was banging on it.

"We're gonna die." I said "Trisher, I am sorry."

"You better be." whispered Trisher.

"Yeah, I am really sorry."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh my god, I'm gonna die." I whispered "Wait, play the sympathy card."

"What?"

"We were just kidnapped, remember?"

"Yeah..."

"So, play it up a little." I ruffled my hair, reached out the window, grabbed some dirt and smudged it on my face and clothes.

"A little?"

"Okay, a lot. But hurry!"

So Trisher and I made ourselves look pathetic, well, in my case, more pathetic than normal.

Just then the door was flung open.

"I knew I'd find yeh here."

"Eep."

It wasn't our husbands, oh no, it was much worse.

It was Gimli.

"Thought you could slip away, eh?"

"Eep."

"Thought you could out wit me, eh? Well, guess what? You can't!"

"Eep."

I looked at Trisher, who looked at me.

"HELP!" we screamed at the top of lungs.

"Shuttup!" roared Gimli, but no can silence me, the Mouth.

"HELP!" I continued yelling "HEL-,"

Just then a painfully cold object was against my throat.

"I'll be shutting up now." I said

"Yeh better." he said

"Somethings wrong." said Faramir.

Faramir and Boromir had been in a bar, drinking.

"What's wrong?"

"No, they're in danger."

"Who's in danger?"

Faramir just rolled his eyes. "Come on!" he yelled, and ran out the door. Boromir reluctanly left his half filled mug and walked out after his brother.

"No, see this is how it's gonna be." said Gimli "Yeh are going to be shutting up, and I will be talking."

We nodded.

"Allrigh', where to begin?"

I couldn't help it. "At the begining would be nice."

Trisher dug her elbow into my rib, and gave me a meaningful look, as if to say 'SHUTTUP!'

"Shutting up now." I said, then I zoned out.

And Gimli began his life's story.

My thoughts were going along these lines: I was watching The Lord of the Rings, or Pirates of the Caribbean, flipping between them. Rewinding parts with hott guys (Orlando Bloom, David Wenham, Johnny Depp, Viggo Mortensen, Dominic M. Orlando Bloom, David Wenham, Karl Urban, David Wenham, Orlando Bloom...), and the commercial breaks were for LOST.

Trisher's thoughts were along the same lines as that : 'I bet Paige is watching a movie. Most likely one with Orlando Bloom. Or watching LOST re-runs. What a dork. What a dork. She could at least pay attention!

And Gimli droned on and on and on.

Eventually I broke the silence.

It happened like this: Okay, so I got to the very sad part of LotR, you know, the Pyre of Denethor. So I flipped the channel (in my mind) and there was Charlie (Dom. M.) on LOST, dead, hanging from a tree. So of course, I had started crying at the Pyre of Denethor, total all out screamed at that site.

Gimli spun around from his rant, to see my crying and screaming.

Trisher rolled her eyes. "I knew it." she said

"Dum da da dum da da dum da da da da!" We heard from outside.

"My knight in shining armour!" I said

"How do you know?" asked Trisher.

"I taught Faramir 'Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy'."

Trisher rolled her eyes, and I grinned. "We're in here!" I called

The doors burst open, again, and Faramir and Boromir were there. They were a bit unsteady on their feet, but they were there. That's the princepal of the matter.

I sighed happily, and Trisher once again, rolled her eyes.

"We're here!" said Boromir "Now, why are we here?" he looked around

"Funny." said Faramir "I don't remember either."

"Hello!" yelled Trisher "Over here!"

"Oh," said Boromir "I see."

"Maybe we should, I don't know, rescue them?"

"That could work." Boromir said.

Trisher and I both sighed.

Gimli was sort of shocked that so many people would try to foil his atempt to kidnap us.

"If you want them back." said Gimli "They must be ransomed."

I leaned toward Trisher "Let's hope his conept of ransom isn't the same as Tom Sawyer's."

Trisher and I burst out laughing.

"But," said Faramir "We don't have any money."

"What! You're a freakin' prince, and he's a Steward, and you have no money!"

"They're alchohalics." said Trisher

"Shuttup!" I said

"You're one too."

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am not!"

"I don't care who's an alchohalic!" said Gimli.

"Then what do you want?" I asked

"I want my wife back!" Gimli began to cry.

Trisher leaned over to me. "Wow, he's pathetic."

I nodded in agreement. "We can't get Arwen and him back together, it will ruin everything!" I said. "Everything!"

Trisher nodded. "Everything." she repeated.

"Isn't there a nice lady you can marry?" I asked

"Ya know, one with a beard." Trisher offered.

Gimli just sobbed louder.

Trisher and I looked at each other. Ever since this little incident, you know, me marrying Faramir, Trisher and Boromir, Gavin and Alyssa, Gavin and Emily, Alyssa and J.D.

Yeah, I don't play match-maker any more.

"Trisher, do you know anyone?"

Trisher shook her head. "You?" she asked.

"No."

"I do!" said Boromir

We all looked at him.

"Well," he said "I do."

"Who?" asked Faramir

We all just figured he was too drunk.

"She is a wonderful Shieldmaiden of Rohan. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, freckles, the works." he said.

I looked at Trisher in horror. He was talking to Eowyn!

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OMG 50 Chapters! I'm like, going to like, omg, freak out! These following quotes are from The Blue Notebook, which started the chain of stories, such as I Married WHO, Trisher Nicole Married WHO? and even You Could Have Caught Me. Of course, this all happened cuz I can't take Trisher seriously.

"And you could tell she had been dreaming of this day ever since she saw The Two Towers..." -TrisherNicole

"What's going on? I was just about to propose to Eowyn, when those gay Hobbits pushed me into a hole!"- Faramir