Dreams & Nightmares

Chapter 4: Thunder

Rating: R for adult content

Disclaimer: I own nothing whatsoever

His silence during the voyage home unnerved her. He was angry with her, she just knew it but was unsure why. What exactly had she done this time? …Oh gods, did he know? Did Dr. French tell him?

Lightning slammed across the dark sky with a deafening crack of thunder that caused the hairs on her arms to rise in gooseflesh. At their present closeness to the center of the storm, the smell of brunt atmosphere was strong, the flashes of light blinding and terrifying, the thunder deafening in its intensity, causing her to unconsciously huddle closer to him and tighten her arms around his neck.

She shouldn't be so frightened. Not of the storm anyway, there were other things out there to be afraid of and this downpour was not one of them.

Another blast of thunder and lightening crashed in the clouds and she realized that she was scared to death of this storm. But she still should not be so afraid, not when Jakal was with her, holding her safe in his arms. She should be enjoying this. How often would she get to be in Jakal's arms, to feel his strong heartbeat near her ear, to be a thousand feet in the air where it was only the two of them but she was too frightened of everything that had happened tonight and of the storm to glean any enjoyment from this.

All she could do was huddle closer to him, wanting to close her eyes against the lightening and memories but not wanting to appear cowardly to her leader. She was already considered a liar, worthless, lazy, and a general bother to have around; she really did not want cowardice added to the list.

When another crackle of lightning exploded above them, much too close for her liking― she still refused to close her eyes no matter how much she wanted to. Instead she widened her eyes and just stared straight ahead.

"…Nefertina."

She blinked and looked at him guiltily, from his tone of voice he had asked her a question or made some comment and never received any answering response. Had she irritated him again?

"I'm sorry," she began shamefully, "I didn't hear you…"

"I asked if you wanted me to fly closer to the ground."

It was all she wanted right now but she didn't want to be a coward in his eyes as well and that won out over her fear for the split instant she spoke, "No, don't trouble yourself with me. It's alright…" But even as she said the words, she wished she could retract them as thunder sounded like it would rend the very sky asunder over their heads. She could feel Jakal's steely-blue gaze boring into the top of her head when she unconsciously tightened her already white-knuckled grip on his chest armour. All she wanted was to be home and locked in her sarcophagus so no one would have to look at her.

"Are you alright?"

The question surprised her. His tone surprised her even more. It was crazy, impossible, Jakal never sounded like that to her. He didn't sound angry or annoyed. He sounded… concerned? She must be imagining things, Jakal didn't care about her, for him she was little more than an inconvenience, something to be tolerated and never trusted. Why should he feel any different? No one else ever did, the hunter shouldn't be any different.

"Nefertina? Are you in pain?" He still sounded worried. What was wrong with him? He grunted slightly when she gave no answer. "I'm landing."

The utterance drew her immediate protest, "No, no, there's no need. I'm fine. Really. You don't have to do anything…" I just want to go home. I can live with the pain just… just… leave me alone… don't leave me… please.

She could still feel his gaze boring into her and she felt the sudden, surprising urge to wail as hot tears gathered in her eyes, burning her throat and making the muscles in her chest to tighten and ache. What had she done!? Why was he angry with her? She didn't mean to cause him so much trouble. She never wanted to inconvenience anyone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely, "I'm so sorry." Please, don't be angry.

Feeling his arms tighten around her, she was certain his anger and irritation had just reached its crest and she braced herself for whatever may come, fairly positive he would never physically hurt her. Fairly.

Deep down she knew he would never hurt her but tonight, with her fear and pain cascading through her mind and body, she was no longer sure. In her mind, he was furious with her and that was all she recognized. She caused him nothing but headaches, and tonight had been worse than ever. He had actually felt the need to go out and get her.

He hates me. He has to. I'm so sorry, Jakal, I never wanted to be such a disappointment. Forgive me…

End chapter 4.

Just a little self-loathing by Nefertina, next up, we hear Jakal's thoughts. Later.