Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Such amazing responses to my last update! Thank you so much!

Chapter Thirty-Eight

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~June~

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The weeks after a full-moon were often long and left the occupants of Grimmauld place feeling exhausted. None more-so than Remus. He had long since accepted his lot in life and tried to endure this cruelty every month with as much dignity as he could afford.

The first day was always the worst; his body would convulse and crack violently back into place and it hurt beyond words, as though his skeleton was forcibly shrinking down into a skin that never fit quite right. It was a nauseating feeling. As soon as the last of his limbs stopped twitching, he felt the press of a warm, wet nose snuffling against his face and palms looking for signs of life. He let his fingers twitch up into Padfoot's soft, silky fur and it anchored him to the moment. Staring up beyond the black furred ears and the treetops, he would watch the milky grey sky slowly lighten as he lay in the dewy grass, naked and cold.

Padfoot would sit alongside him, his small body emanating warmth against Remus until he mustered enough energy to push himself up. Even then, the dog was at his side, hovering just beside him in case he staggered. As soon as he was on his feet, Sirius appeared beside him and gently looped an arm around his neck, curled his own arm around Remus' waist, and together they hobbled back into the house through the backdoor.

Remus would always crave a drink as soon as they passed the kitchen door, but Sirius avoided going down there. Now that Remus was up and moving, it was imperative to get him into their bed as soon as possible. The taller man protested on principal but the moment he sank down onto the plush pillows and mattress that only good money could buy, he shut up. Within ten minutes, Sirius returned to his bedside with piping hot tea and some chocolate digestives.

Sirius watched from the chair at his bedside as Remus inhaled the biscuits, licking melted chocolate from his fingertips before greedily gulping the tea down, not even caring how hot it was.

"Sirius? Can you come and lay with me until I fall asleep?"

Once upon a time, Sirius would have simply stayed until Remus fell asleep and then gone roaming around, creating pranks or finishing long over-due assignments in the common room. However, they were practically in their forties at this point, and he had been up all night. Unravelling himself from his muggle layers, Sirius stretched the kinks out of his muscles before climbing into the bed, the hovering orbs dimming their lights as soon as both men were comfortable.

Sirius curled an arm around Remus from behind, the only time he was allowed to be the big spoon was when Remus was too tired after a full moon. They automatically laced their fingers together and Sirius pressed a kiss to one of the many silvery scars that gleamed in the low lights. A shiver ran through Remus' body, but he kept his eyes closed, letting the steady rhythm of Sirius' heartbeat lull him to sleep.

Thus, the rest of the week would go.

Remus was moved to the lounge manually every day, Sirius unable to resist all the blushing bride jokes, and given breakfast long before any of the boys were awake. As soon as Sirius vaulted through the floo, Remus flicked on the TV and lost himself in a dozing state, half-watching the daytime crap that passed for entertainment.

Towards the end of the week, he would have enough energy to shuffle to and fro, read a book or grade students' work, however those first few day would always pass in a blur of lying around and being waited on. Even Draco helped out, even if he had been reluctant at first. It amused Remus to know end, informing the blonde that at least they hadn't been at school together because every month he would have brand new scars to heal and dress.

This full moon was different to others, however.

This full moon Harry would remember.

That very first day, as soon as Sirius disappeared in a flash of green flames, Remus reclined along the sofa and felt his stomach twist itself into notes. He ate chocolate biscuit to stave off the nerves, going through almost two whole packs before his ears pricked at the first stirrings of other people waking up. The clock on the mantel read ten o'clock. He felt the atmosphere in the house shift long before the first gentle tread of socked feet on bare floorboards caught his attention. He unconsciously held his breath as he waited to hear the footfalls coming down the stairs.

He smelled Harry before he even reached the top step; he smelled like hormones, sugar, sunshine and oranges. He tired to wriggle low in his cocoon on the sofa, knowing his efforts were futile.

Harry padded into the living room, his scent muffled and soft from sleep. His heartbeat was steady, calm, and that allowed a small bead of hope to spark in Remus' chest. He quickly quashed it back down.

"Remus?"

The air was sucked out of the room. He tensed all over, pressing himself down against the cushions as he felt Harry enter the room behind him. He kept his eyes clenched tight, not wanting to look up into those accusing green eyes.

"Remus?"

With great strain, Remus looked up at last -and was immediately winded as a weight fell on top of his chest.

"I'm so glad you're alright!" Harry gushed, burying his face against his neck as he hugged him.

Remus just lie there, completely unsure of what to do. Did he hug Harry? Why was he being hugged at all? If Harry had regained all of his memories from third year, then surely, he should be freaked out by Remus now? Then again, he had been the only student to stop by and see him as he packed up his office …

"H-harry?"

Pulling away, Remus felt his eyes go wide as Harry crouched on the edge of the sofa. He looked taller, even when sat down, and his jaw had squared out pleasantly, much in the same was at James' had when they were young. His hair was much longer and shaggier, hanging to his chin. His glasses looked slightly too small for his face. They would need adjusting as soon as Remus' magic didn't feel like a unicorn with a bellyache.

Raking a hand through his messy hair, Harry beamed down at Remus. He looked as though he had put on his four years of Quidditch muscle overnight. Remus winced, knowing just how painful redefining one's body overnight felt like. "How are you? Does anything hurt? Can I get you anything? I think Draco has some pepper-up potions in his lab."

Remus opened and closed his mouth, dumbly. "I um … a-aren't you … why are you …?"

"Why am I being so nice?" Harry flashed him a cheeky grin. "I won't lie, the memories from third year were … hard. However, before I went to bed, I saw you and dad outside playing around. You almost looked cute."

Remus cringed at the word.

Harry chuckled. "What I mean is that I was aware then and now, that you attacked us because you hadn't taken your potion. Catching Pettigrew was the priority." A shadow passed over his face. Licking his lips, Harry's eyes flittered over the visible scars on Remus' arms and collarbone. "Is he … what happened? To Pettigrew?"

Remus tensed his jaw, not knowing the right way to approach the subject.

Taking his cue from Remus, Harry asked, "Is he … is he dead?"

"Yes, Harry. He's dead."

"Right." Another nervous glance. "Did he -did he suffer?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Good."

Remus blinked in surprise. He couldn't blame Harry for feeling that way; he himself blamed Peter for those twelve long, lonely years between his friend's death and the reunion with Sirius and Harry years later. They could have had something, a good, strong foundation for all of this. Screw Dumbledore and his manipulations.

Reaching out a bandaged hand, Remus gave Harry's wrist a squeeze. "Let's change subject, eh? How about breakfast?"

"You're in no fit state to cook!" Harry protested.

"I didn't mean breakfast for you," Remus deadpanned. "I'm starved. You know how to make pancakes, right?"

Harry snorted with an amused shake of his head. Remus instantly felt lighter, feeling the tension in the room dissolve.

"Since you're recovering, I'll let that one slide," Harry stuck his tongue out, before heaving himself to his feet. "Chocolate chip?"

"Is there any other way?"

Harry sniggered. Remus watched him disappear from the room and down the hall to the kitchen. He dropped back against the pillows, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his chest. Readjusting the velvet throw blanket over himself, he toyed with the idea of sending a patronus to Sirius but opted against it. The man would find any excuse to ditch his lessons, no matter how much he liked to prance up and down in his flowing robes.

"Hey Remus?" Harry called from the kitchen. "You know it's Draco's birthday on the fifth!"

"Is it?" he vaguely remembered the date. "He'll be turning nineteen."

"We should do something for him. A proper celebration!"

"Pancakes first, then plotting."

A pause. "I feel like you should get that printed on a t-shirt."

"Keep that in mind for my birthday, pup!"

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For the rest of the day Harry kept himself occupied around the house. He wrote a letter to Ron and Hermione, asking how they thought their exams went and how he couldn't help but feel glad not to having to take any. He'd hesitated about writing down any of his new memories, but eventually decided to ask about Cedric. He could remember distorted flashes of the very handsome seventeen year old and he was sure there was something about attending the Quidditch world cup. He sent the letter off with Archimedes and then went out to bask in the sunshine and tend to the plant boxes that were already started to show promising signs of life. Now that the few basic seedlings were starting to take root, he wondered if -later in the week -Remus might be up for a trip to Diagon Alley for some books. He was positive that the man could cast a simple disillusion charm over him, so that people wouldn't recognise him.

He'd definitely drag Draco out with them as well.

Prodding at the soil, digging his fingers down into the cool damp, he closed his eyes and tried to channel his magic to pulse through, to gently encourage all the seedlings to grow that little bit stronger. He really wanted to surprise Draco with this little project.

With a thump, Harry sprawled backwards across the grass, half in and out of the shade of the large oak tree. He glanced at the swing Sirius had looped on one of the lower branches and grinned. It would be great when Teddy was a little bigger and they could push him to and fro. A sense of calm washed over him as his eyes roamed up the gnarled bark of the old tree, into the dense green foliage of the leaves and then to the piercing blue sky above. It took his breath away; how vast the world was.

"When all this mess is cleared up, I should probably travel," he murmured to no one in particular. "I really should go out there and see the world I apparently saved."

Stretching his arms up above his head, his eyes landed on back of his left hand. He frowned, rubbing softly at the peachy skin. Wasn't there … supposed to be something there? Had he hurt his hand during Quidditch and simply forgotten how? He knew aging each month wasn't going to completely restore all of his memories, however he felt as though the most important -and harrowing -ones were coming back full force.

That was good … right?

It was such a lovely day. Perhaps Remus would want to read a book outside for a while? There was no point for anyone to be cooped up indoors, not on a day like this.

Pumped with a new resolve, Harry jumped to his feet and brushed stray bits of grass from his shorts before hurrying back inside.

"Remus! Remus!" he called, skidding down the floorboards towards the lounge. Remus turned his head lazily to raise his eyebrows at him. "Do you want to come and sit outside in the sun? It's a really nice day and it will keep you much warmer than that blanket."

Amusement turned Remus' mouth up into a wry smile. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, come on out and keep me company," Harry beamed. "Draco and I can sort out lunch and I'm sure Teddy would love to have a picnic outside."

"Oh, you know how to wear an old man down," he grunted, levering his legs over the side of the sofa. The aches and pains shot through him and he winced, hunched over, his fingers digging deep into the sofa cushions.

Harry was at his side in an instant, "There's no rush, the garden isn't going anywhere."

"You clearly don't know your godfather that well," he remarked dryly.

Harry chuckled and helped Remus to his feet with a steadying hand under his arm.

Together they managed to hobble awkwardly along the narrow passage leading to the downstairs 'formal' dining room. The moment they stepped off of the patio and into the bright sunlight, Remus let out a groan. He tilted his head skyward, eyes closed, as though he were a sunflower, soaking up all the sun's rays to energise him. Harry smiled up at his Uncle's scarred face and thought it was a right shame that he, and werewolves alike, struggled so much because of what they were. A lot of them were in Remus' position; it hadn't been their choice to be bitten and they were constantly struggling to get a hold of wolfsbane potions as well as hold down a decent job with a liveable wage.

That needed to change, and he had a feeling Hermione would agree with him.

Taking his wand out of his back pocket, Harry raised it and called out, "Accio picnic blanket!"

The large tartan blanket rushed at his head and nearly sent him sprawling back into the grass. Shaking his head free, Harry readjusted his glasses and was grateful that Remus was too busy absorbing the sun as much as possible to notice. Sprawling the blanket across the grass, Harry cleared his throat to get Remus' attention.

"I'll go inside and drag the other two out," he said.

Remus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "You have a big heart, Harry. Just like your mother. Thank you."

Harry felt a surge of love flood through him for this brave, battered man who had survived two wars and was still standing. Who had been shunned and shamed and ostracised for what he was, yet still found himself capable of love. Then there was Sirius, an untapped well of unconditional love. He leaned up and threw his arms around Remus, burying his face against his neck.

"Love you, Uncle Moony," he mumbled.

"Love you too, pup," Remus breathed, squeezing him back fiercely.

Once he'd gotten Remus, old creaking knees and all, settled down on the blanket, Harry strode back into the house to find Draco and Teddy. He was like a man on a mission, ducking his head into every single room, some of them that hadn't been used by his little family at all, in order to find Draco.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, as he barged into Teddy's nursery to find Draco reclining in the rocking chair with Teddy in his lap with an open book in front of them.

"Merlin, Potter, knock much?!" Draco groused, clearly annoyed at the interruption.

Harry faltered just inside the door, his heart thudding from running up the stairs. Draco cocked an annoyed eyebrow at him, as he waited for him to get his breath back. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb! I mean I did but -anyway, do you want to come outside?" he babbled.

"Why?"

"Because it's lovely and warm and you could use a bit of sun. You're looking a little … pasty."

Draco narrowed his eyes and Harry visibly faltered again. "I'll have you know I'm always pale, Potter. Now go away, Teddy and I were enjoying this book."

"You know … you can read outside."

Draco sighed. "What is your insistence on my going outdoors?"

"Well, Remus is out there on the blanket and it's the first day after a full moon and he'll have a rough few days ahead of him. Besides, if all you're doing is reading," he shot a pointed look at the blonde. "Then surely that can be done while sitting in the sun as well."

Draco scowled. "Does this mean I have to change?"

"Out of your ridiculous slacks and shirt? Yes, I'd say so."

If anything, the scorn on Draco's face deepened. Forcing himself to his feet, Teddy deftly swept up onto his hip, he thrust the book at Harry as he passed through the door. Then, while Harry fumbled, he pressed Teddy against Harry's chest, barely waiting long enough for the younger teen to accept Teddy properly before he sauntered off down the corridor. Harry glanced down at Teddy and pulled a face.

"Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed! Yes, he did. Yes, he did!"

Teddy squealed in delight. "Dada! Dada!"

"Alright, Teddy bear, let's go outside and see your dad."

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Harry had barely stepped out through the French doors before Teddy was squirming, trying to free himself from Harry's grasp. "Hold on, hold on!" he laughed as he set Teddy down on the grass. He watched with a grin as Teddy hurried as fast as his little legs would carry him over to the picnic blanket where Remus had sprawled out on his back.

"Jesus!" Remus yelped as Teddy flopped down hard, on his stomach. His surprise was quickly muffled by Teddy's peals of laughter.

"Dada! Dada! Jump!" Teddy squealed as he wriggled about, trying to stand back up onto his feet.

Remus smiled up at his son, a hand hovering near his rump in case he wobbled and lost his balance. "I'm getting too old for this lark, Teddy," he grinned wryly. Turning his head, he caught sight of Harry hovering nearby, a huge grin on his face. "I hope to Merlin you're wearing sun-cream! The last thing I need is for Sirius to come home to a redcap for a child!"

Harry rolled his eyes and came over. "Of course, I am, Pops," he smirked. "You two taught me that charm when we went to France for Easter."

Dropping down onto the grass next to the blanket, Harry stretched himself out, kicked off his converses and tipped his head back to absorb more of the sun. It was nice to pretend that he was a normal teenager in the midst of a British summer just for a few hours a day. The more time he did normal, even mundane things, the more it helped to absorb the new memories without as much emotional whiplash.

"I hope you haven't left Draco upstairs all by himself?" Remus asked in a firm voice.

Harry shook his head, not even bothering to open his eyes. "Nope! I badgered him into going to change into something casual. He should be coming out soon."

"Good. The sun will do you two both some good."

"Oh? Says the man trying to tan away his scars," Harry grinned cheekily.

Remus smirked, shielding his face with his hand. "What can I say? The sun makes me look healthier and your dad loves me with a tan."

Harry choked, causing Remus to laugh loudly.

Raking a hand through his hair, instantly reminding Remus of a young James, Harry leaned over and started plucking daisies out of the grass. He sat quietly, braiding the flowers together, his fingers working swiftly. As he worked, he cast a sideways glance at the tall, skinny man splayed out on the picnic blanket. His limp wavy hair sat against his forehead, two wars worth of scars and exhaustion marring his skin, and still there was a youthfulness about him. Even if he was incredibly tall.

"Hey Remus?"

"Mmm yes Harry?"

"You care about my dad, right?"

Frowning Remus turned to look up at him. "Of course, I do, Harry. Why would you ask?"

Harry shrugged, not looking up. "I don't know I just … do you ever think about what will happen after I'm the right age again?"

"I'm not sure I understand, Harry."

"Well, when I'm eighteen -or nineteen -or whatever, you guys won't have to take of care me as much, right? So, you could be a proper couple."

Remus chuckled, "Harry we are a proper couple."

"Really?" Harry shot him a look. "You two don't go out on dates or anything. You only cuddle when no one else is around. You don't even work at Hogwarts together. You rarely get much together at all."

Remus quirked a tawny eyebrow at him. "Harry, relationship-wise, your dad and I have only been officially dating for just over a month now. We agreed to taking things slowly, due to the situation we find ourselves in."

"I'm sorry that you lost your wife," Harry sighed sadly, dropping his chin onto his knees. "I just … I see the way dad looks at you. Like he would give you the world, if only you asked. I know I'd feel so lucky if someone felt that way about me."

"These things take time, pup," Remus placated, rolling up into a sitting position. "All you need to know if that I do care and love your dad. Things have been … delicate. As you said, I lost my wife and Teddy lost his mother. Besides, Sirius is much more delicate that you might think. He puts on a brave face, laughs the loudest and there's rarely a quiet moment when he's around but in my experience, that's when he's hurting the most."

"Dad … is hurting?"

"I think so, yes."

"Then why aren't we doing something about it?"

"All we can do is continue being there for him as we have been. He'll open up soon. I think seeing you at this age is bringing back a lot of memories for him and he feels a bit lost."

Harry grimaced and tugged one last daisy on the chain, closing the loop and holding it aloft. Leaning over, he placed it over Teddy's head as he toddled by, chasing after a butterfly. He squealed and tried to hurry even faster, the flower crown falling down over his nose. Harry chuckled, watching the toddler's antics.

"What was Sirius like at this age?" he asked quietly.

Remus smiled softly, squeezing the teenager's shoulder. "At school, he was a troublemaker, right alongside your father. However, whenever he went home for the holidays, he suffered. He always came back to school subdued and then after the first week, he could get nasty if someone so much as got in his way."

"Were his parents bad, like the Dursley's?"

"Worse, if you can believe it," Remus sighed. "They used … unforgivables. Do you know what the means, Harry?"

Furrowing his brow, a memory flashed through his mind of an aggressive looking man making a spider dance on Neville's desk. He grimaced as he rubbed at his temples. "I uh … so they -they crucio'd him?"

Remus nodded gravelly. "That's my understanding."

"Shit!" Harry hissed, dropping his face into his hands. A sudden thought occurred to him, "Do you think Draco had the same happen from Lucius? I -I remember seeing them at the Quidditch World Cup. He's dad always had that cane …"

"I wouldn't want to make any assumptions, but in my experience a lot of the older pureblood families didn't approve of disobedience in any way."

Harry felt his insides roll.

"I'm sorry," Remus recollected himself, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "We shouldn't be talking about this on such a nice day. Besides, Sirius is probably the better person to ask. I only have snippets compared to anything else."

Harry shot him a look that was both grateful for the topic change and saddened by what he'd just learned.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Two heads swivelled around to see Draco standing above them dressed in ankle socks, bright blue beach shorts and a faded palm tree print shirt in a mint green print. In his hands he held three ice creams aloft, some of it melting a little and trickling over his fingers. Harry was stunned. The old Draco would have backhanded anyone who tried to hand him a melting ice cream, let alone willingly touch it. Yet, here this man was, contradicting everything Harry thought he knew about him.

"No, no, you're fine Draco," Remus grinned, patting the blanket. "Come and sit down. Did you use the sun-blocking charm?"

"Ye-e-e-s, you showed us that one during Easter at Mother's," Draco remarked with a wry grin. "I thought we could use something sweet, seeing as we're slumming it today."

Harry snorted, accepting the dripping ice-cream. He took a big mouthful and moaned. "This is sooo good! Chocolate and caramel!"

"Mmm mine has honeycomb crunch in it," Remus groaned softly, biting into the hard chocolate shell. "Delicious. Thank you, Draco."

Draco smiled just as Teddy dove into his lap. "Gah! You silly creature, you almost made me drop my ice cream!"

"Daco! Daco! S'cream!"

"No, you are not having any of my ice cream!" he held said treat aloft. "Go and take your dad's! He'll rot his teeth out if he's not careful!"

Teddy was all too happy to oblige, grappling with Remus' shirt as he tried to climb up his dad's thighs to smoosh his face against the cold ice cream. He laughed and smeared chocolate mess across his chin before clapping his hands. Remus grimaced down at the mess.

Harry laughed before scooping Teddy over into his lap. "Here you go, Teddy, you can have some of mine," he brandished his soft, quickly-melting ice cream towards the child and laughed again as Teddy gummed a large mouthful of the caramel cream.

"Alright, alright, no more sugar for you, mister," Remus chided affectionately, taking his son from Harry and promptly wiping his face clean with a napkin from his pocket. Teddy settled happily between Remus' legs, plucking at the long daisy chain still draped around his neck. He started picking off the petals and throwing them about.

Ice cream finished, Draco leaned back on his hands and squinted up at the sky. "Eurgh what on earth do muggles do in this heat? How is one meant to enjoy themselves when they're boiling to death?"

Remus rolled his eyes with a smirk, "They're not that different from wizards, Draco. A lot of them, teenagers especially, love to have water fights."

"How? They don't have wands."

"Muggles tend to use things like water bottles, water pistols or even just water balloons."

Harry sniggered. "Yeah, that happened a lot at my primary school. Mainly the older kids though."

"Why, what did you have in mind?"

"Aguamenti!"

"Goddamnit, Potter, this is a new top!"

"You snooze you lose, Malfoy!"

"Right, that's it! You're in for it now! Aguamenti!"

~0~

He really needed to get home.

It was the last period of the day and he really needed to get away from the castle, to lock himself away and wait it out.

He needed to get out.

He was sat at his desk, letting his seventh years study for their upcoming .T.'s and the scratching of their quills was like nails on a chalkboard. He ground his teeth together, trying to tune them out and focus on the textbook in front of him. The words blurred together, and his blood pumped vivaciously in his eardrums. He could taste the tang of blood seeping between his teeth.

His nails dug shallow grooves into the woodwork of his desk. Shit. Remus would see that next week.

He would ask questions. Questions he didn't have the answers to, not right now at least.

Nausea made his stomach roll over on itself and he fought the urge to choke up the bile at the back of his throat. Just ten more minutes and then he could get out of the classroom and be by himself. Remus would understand, he always understood when he needed time by himself.

Oh, but he wanted to see Harry. To see how he was adjusting to being fourteen again. It gripped Sirius' heart tightly to know what memories were to come, what horrors Harry was about to relive, knowing full well that there was nothing that he could do to prevent it.

Finally, the bell went.

Exhaling deeply, Sirius steepled his fingers and pressed his forehead against his hands, listening as chairs scraped back and books were shoved into bags, the chatter bubbling up as they merged with friends in the corridor beyond his classroom door. Once he was sure the last student had left, Sirius waved his hand and closed the door and locked it. He was done, completely and utterly done for the day.

His feet carried him up to their joint office of their own accord. There, he closed and locked the door and hunched over his desk, tugging at his tie until he ripped the thing from his throat and tossed it in a heap on the floor.

Clawing his hands through his hair, Sirius let out a distressed growl through clenched teeth. It was too much. He couldn't breathe this air anymore, not right now. His mind felt full and empty at the same time, as he snatched a pinch of floo powder, tossed it into the fire and stepped into the green flames.

"Number Twelve Grimmauld place!" he called.

The roar of the fire engulfed him, the fleeting queasy feeling of falling through the veil rushing back over him. He was spat out into the lounge in a cloud of soot and unease, a cold sweat slicking his skin.

The house was empty.

It sent a shiver down his spine.

Panting heavily, his tongue sticking to the proof of his mouth, Sirius withdrew his wand and slowly started to walk toward the hallway.

"Homenum revelio!" he whispered, pointed his wand at the lower level of the house, before doing the same with his wand directed towards the stairs. Nothing alerted him to any presence in the house, hostile or otherwise. The knowledge did not set his mind at ease.

That's when he heard the laughter.

Wand still drawn, he made his way down the length of the hallway, the lush green of the garden hurting his eyes as he peered out through the French doors. The sight that greeted him was almost like a dream; Draco and Harry were running around in sopping wet shorts and t-shirts, aiming their wands at one another and firing jets of water, while attempted to duck or block said jets. Then there was Remus, dodging between the two, with Teddy grasped to his chest. He held his wand in his hand, with Teddy's little fist over the top and together, they were shooting rather powerful streams of water at the two teenagers. They were all laughing and having a great time.

'Without you,' a voice hissed in his head.

He pushed the dark thoughts aside, and stepped out into the garden, the sudden weight of the sunshine oppressive. He hadn't changed out of his teachers robes. They hadn't noticed him yet. Moving slowly, Sirius moved along the shadows of the patio and aimed his wand in the direction of his make-shift family.

"Aguamenti!"

A large rush of water drenched the small group entirely, making them gasp and squeal in shock. Remus was the first to recover, brushing drenched hair out of his eyes and straightening from where he'd crouched over to protect Teddy.

"Sirius, you're home early," he observed, water running down his shirt, making it stick to his chest.

"Remus, I thought I told you to call me in an emergency," Sirius affected a disappointed tone.

"I'm not sure how a water fight constitutes an emergency, Padfoot."

"No, but you're clearly ill if you thought you could have a water fight without me!"

"Ever the drama queen, I see," Remus gave a wry smirk.

"Naturally," Sirius grinned. "Now, how about we try this again, and this time, we play to win!"

.

"Well, that was definitely a great use of all those expired condoms you had in your old room," Remus snickered as he rubbed a towel against his ear to dislodge the last of the blue colouring. "Not sure that's the best way to give Harry the sex talk, though."

Sirius rolled his eyes from where he was sat in the middle of the bed. The afternoon and evening had been filled with levity that it was easy to ignore the cloying feeling he'd felt all day. Now, in the quiet moments, it was creeping back, and he didn't know how to dislodge it. He could feel Remus hovering, wanting to ask what was wrong but refraining. Sirius squeezed his eyes a little, trying his best to breathe normally and replay the afternoons events in his mind, to keep him grounded to this moment in this reality.

Draco and Remus fighting side-by-side, Teddy in a protective bubble charm as they threw red-water condom-balloons from behind the chrysanthemum bush. Harry and Sirius had ducked behind the shed and patio shrubbery, aiming their own, blue-filled balloons at the other two. Each of them trying to dodge and aim at the same time, while trying to grab at the static snitch in the middle of the garden.

It had been a great afternoon, so much laughter that he thought his chest might burst …

And he couldn't remember the last time any of them had looked so carefree and young –

"Sirius?"

"Oh … mmm?" he blinked, looking up at Remus who was frowning down at him.

"Where did you go there, Pads?"

"Nowhere …" he sighed and dropped his head. "I was just thinking back over this afternoon. To -to calm myself down."

"Pads, are you okay?" The bed dipped with Remus' weight, a scarred hand coming up to rest on Sirius' knee. "You know you can tell me if something is bothering you, right?"

"I know," Sirius nodded, pressing his hand over Remus'. "I promise, as soon as I find the words, I will."

Remus gave a hesitant smile. "Okay. Do you -uh -think you could come into the bathroom for a moment? There's something I want to show you."

Over twenty quips sprang to Sirius' mind, but his mouth remained closed, muted, unable to form the words. He nodded and slowly crawled to the end of the bed and stepped onto the cool floorboards. He let Remus guide him across the hallway towards the bathroom.

Pushing open the door he frowned upon seeing all the tea candles with their happy little flames flickering away. The golden light reflected from the mirrors, taps and tiles as Remus coaxed him over towards the bathtub that was already frothing with lavender scented bubbles. Sirius didn't protect or object when Remus' featherlight touch brushed his clothes away, nor did he comment on anything being 'too girly' when he stepped up and into the hot water. It was only when he had sunk down into the foam and reemerged with a wet mane of black curls that he frowned.

"Moony no," he sighed, moving to lift himself from the tub. "I'm supposed to take care of you after the full, not the other way around."

A gentle hand on his shoulder pressed him back down into the bath.

"Sirius, I may not know what is going on but I can smell how upset you are and your magic is erratic today. I've noticed is happening a little more lately." Remus gave a sheepish smile, "Let me take care of you, okay?"

"No, Remus, you need to be looked after. You're still fragile from the full and I –"

"What if I got in with you?"

Sirius frowned, grey eyes uncomprehending.

"Nothing has to happen," Remus said firmly. "Think of it as a compromise; we'd be taking care of each other."

With great reluctance, Sirius sighed and leaned back fully into the hot water. From this angle, even in his current state, he had to admit that he had a rather wonderful view of Remus as the taller man peeled away his damp shirt and blue-stained trousers. Remus kicked his underwear aside and stood in all his glory, letting Sirius admire him for every flaw and scar that marred his skin. Sirius had kissed every welt on his body, as though kissing it would remove the blemish entirely.

Remus often felt as though it did.

Every day his scars seemed to become less ugly to look at.

Tentatively, and gripping the sides of the tub as his legs quaked unforgivably beneath him, he climbed into the tub and sank down into the hot water. His muscles immediately relaxed as he aligned his body with Sirius'. He opened his arms and, after some shifting, was cradling Sirius against his chest. Every tattoo gleamed like ink on his pale skin. Remus had kissed each one of those tattoos, himself, committing each one to memory.

Sirius let his exhausted body relax against Remus' chest, the wiry muscles feeling both familiar and comforting. He let his eyes drift closed as the lavender bubbles fizzed soothingly against his skin. He felt Remus' chin against the top of his head, and then felt the press of his lips on his hair. He hummed gently, a seed of calm blooming in his chest. He placed his hand on Remus' chest and tried to focus on the moment.

'How on earth will you cope when he leaves you? Everyone leaves you, that's just what they do! Even this half-breed will leave you the moment he can!'

Sirius jerked upright, his movements sluggish and his head spinning. Why was he hearing his mother? They'd gotten rid of that hideous, screeching portrait the moment Sirius had been cleared of all charged against him. They'd knocked the whole wall down and locked Walburga up in the deepest, most forgotten Black vault at Gringott's.

His heart was drumming loudly in his ears, his breathing erratic.

"Sirius, love, come back to me …"

Grey eyes refocused on soft, amber ones.

"Remus?" he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here, okay?" Remus crooned, cradling Sirius against his chest and sinking lower into the water, letting it reach up to their chins. He threaded his fingers through Sirius' wet hair, loving how the kinks and curls wove around his digits. "Stay with me …"

A hand came up to rest over Sirius' own.

He focused on that hand, on the thick, pink scar the ran across the knuckles, on the cluster of freckles by the wrist, on the well kept nails with a small blue ink stain on one cuticle. On the damp, brown hairs that ghosted over the pale skin. Closing his eyes, Sirius squeezed the hand every now and then, letting the aroma of lavender flood his senses and the weight of Remus' arm around his shoulders keeping him grounded.

After what felt like ages, he finally found his voice enough to whisper, his lips pressed against Remus' collarbone.

"Remus?"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"… Thank you."

"Oh, Pads … you don't need to thank me."

Sirius nodded lazily, his mind already drifting away from his body. "Yes, I do. Thank you … thank you for being wonderful."

Remis sighed, almost as though he wanted to say something else to contradict Sirius' words, as he always was wont to do. However, this time he decided to let it slide, just this once. Giving Sirius' body a comforting squeeze, he pressed a kiss to the older man's forehead.

"You're welcome, Sirius," he managed to breathe, as he felt Sirius' body sag against his own. "I'll always be here for you. I promise."

A/N: Please leave some lovely reviews! I hope you liked the update!

B x