"What do we do at the club? It's simple, we dance, we drink, we talk and we bullshit." Sturgis answered Mac's question as the party of six picked a booth against the far wall. The club was dimly with the cliché laser/disco/techno lighting for the dancing area and sound speakers that blared 'music' at levels normally reserved for movie theatre sound testing.
"First we get drinks." Bax informed her as the waitress came over to the table. "Martini."
"Bourbon." Keeter answered.
"Bourbon." Sturgis replied.
"Beer." Was the Gunny's response.
"Water." Harm smiled weakly at the waitress.
"Tonic water with lime." Mac finished for the group. "Alright, so what do you guys normally talk about? Wait, let me guess, work, cars, sports and women." Mac sarcastically tossed at them.
"She's good, Hammer. She got every last one. Most women forget work." Keeter joshed.
"She's a Marine, we never forget anything." Gunny stated firmly.
"Alright, the Colonel has set the agenda, gentlemen. What do we want to talk about?" Sturgis asked the table.
"Why don't you guys just talk like you normally do? It's not like you're going to offend my sensibilities." Mac explained.
"Let's be really old school about this and pretend like this is the Bull Moose back in Annapolis. Harm who was better in bed; Annie, Jordan or Renee?" Keeter asked with a challenging nod.
"Hard to say. Not Renee, definitely. I'd have to say Jordan. That woman could get into it; you would not believe the dirty talk that would fly from her mouth when she got into it." Harm and the guys shared a laugh and Mac tried to contain her amazement. She would never have been able to picture Harm talking this openly about this kind of stuff. "What about you, Bax, you've been abnormally quiet. Not a banner year for the SEAL?"
"On the contrary. A Senator's daughter, a stewardess and a Dutch diplomat this year." Bax stated with an evident pride.
"A Senator's daughter, which state?" Gunny inquired.
"A Georgia peach." Bax replied smugly.
"Attaboy, Bax." Keeter basically cheered.
"However, gentlemen, we all know, that of any of us, Harm has had the most interesting decade when it comes to women, so I yield the floor that we might question him a little more." Bax stated in his most fake upper-class way.
"I have a question." Mac stated, in an effort not to fall behind.
"Oh, this ought to be good." Sturgis remarked with a peaked interest.
"A few months ago, you were talking to me and you used the sentence 'you ought to know, sweet thing'; care to explain it?" Mac quirked an eyebrow. Harm looked like a deer in the headlights and all action at the table stopped.
"I fell out of the Admiral's chair and hit my head. I was seeing things all day, I guess I was hearing things and having dialogues too." Harm laughed self-deprecatingly, knowing that he had successfully covered his ass.
"See, we bullshit." Keeter joked. "Alright Harm, here's what I want to know. You and Meg, did you ever…you know, get hot and heavy?"
"Once. After the investigation into Diane's murder, I was sulking around the apartment for weeks. Meg decided to take it upon herself to come over and help me through it. We just got carried away in a collection of outside emotions and the whole scene was really awkward the next morning." Harm explained shaking his head.
"You broke the regs?" Mac's eyes were wide and her mouth was agape.
"I'm not proud of it but like I said, it was just being overwhelmed by everything else that caused it." Harm explained.
"Alright, enough for the downer stories; Harm, Sturgis Gunny, with the exception of our goddess of JAG here…"Bax pointed at Mac.
"Smooth talker." Mac interrupted.
"Thank you. Is there anyone else at JAG worth taking a shot at?" Bax played with the olive in his martini glass.
"I always thought Commander Imes cleaned up nicely." Gunny commented as he took a swig of his beer.
"Carolyn Imes, Gunny?" Harm questioned with an obviously surprised look.
"Not much else at the office to look at, sir." Gunny replied, fiddling with the label on his beer bottle.
"What about Harriet?" Mac questioned.
"Guys Code of Honour; can't look at your friend's wife or girlfriend that way." Sturgis piped up as the waitress brought him and Keeter their second round.
"You guys honestly think like that?" Mac was evidently very surprised.
"Yeah, I mean no woman is worth risking a good friend over. The second they start dating, she comes with an 'off limits' sign." Keeter explained.
"We realize that most of the male species doesn't think that way, but it's that kind of thinking that kept us friends through our Academy days." Harm finished.
"Only the four of you could think of something that's simultaneously honourable and chauvinistic." Mac commented, still slightly in disbelief.
"Five." Gunny raised his beer.
"See, the Gunny knows what we're talking about, Mac." Harm almost taunted.
"This must be part of what contributes to the famous Rabb control." Mac jousted right back.
"There's no way we can take credit for that. That was in place well before we ever met him." Sturgis laughed heartily.
"Now, here's what I want to know, Bax. Why did you exempt me from that little question you asked Harm, Sturgis and Gunny earlier?" Mac was getting right into the spirit of this little outing.
"Come on, as if you don't know. You're drop dead fucking gorgeous, none of the women I saw in that office came close." Bax replied almost as if he was stating a fact.
"Hey, I'll agree to that." Keeter raised his shotglass. Mac tried not to blush. "We're not dead or blind, Mac."
"You two have been hounds since the Academy." Harm slugged Keeter in the shoulder.
"Hey well, it wasn't exactly easy keeping up with the Bull Moose all-star here." Bax shot Harm a sarcastic look
"Bull Moose all-star?" Mac tossed Harm an intrigued look.
"Back at the Yard we all used to go to this dive of a sports bar called the Bull Moose, over the bar, there was this big mounted moose head. If you brought a girl home from the bar, it was a tradition that you brought her bra back the next day and shot it up on to the antlers of the moose." Sturgis informed Mac, both of them were trying not to break into laughter. "Whoever shot the most bras up there by the end of the school year was the Bull Moose all-star. In our third year, it was down to Harm, Keeter and Bax. On the last day of finals, we all walked into the bar and Harm shot the winning bra on to the antlers of the moose."
"I can't believe it. That doesn't sound like the Harm I know." Mac protested and she watched as Harm sunk into the booth.
"It was twenty years ago. You guys just haven't gotten over it." Harm looked accusingly over at his friends.
"Well, that's because we were all ready to share the title. The only reason we weren't pissed with you for breaking the agreement was because it was Diane's bra and it mean that you finally pulled your head out of your six." Keeter finished off his second bourbon.
"You guys must have been terrors for your instructors." Gunny added.
"Should we tell him about the time Bax was caught with Captain Lewis' daughter?" Harm asked Keeter.
"Oh, man, I'd forgotten all about that." Sturgis replied. "Of course we could tell him about time you tie-dyed Di's uniform. You remember what our Middy-Lieutenant did to you for that one?"
"Was that the time you had to polar bear dive off the dock in January?" Keeter questioned. Mac was cracking up at the thought of Harm having to jump naked into Chesapeake Bay in January.
"You know you two weren't exactly angels either. As I recall, Keeter you got reamed out for writing 'GO NAVY' on your ass and mooning the Army team during the Army-Navy game fourth year." Harm added with a chuckle.
"Don't forget the time that we got Sturgis drunk and convinced him that he had to go to church in his underwear." Bax supplied as he finally finished off his martini.
"As I recall, your father was the guest chaplain that week, wasn't he?" Keeter turned toward Sturgis.
"You guys didn't have to take pictures." Sturgis was even laughing at it.
"Oh, Mac, Gunny, that's nothing though. The ultimate prank was the literature mid-term bet. Whoever got the lowest mark on the exam had to perform one task that the other three created. Well, Harm lost, so we told him that he had to get his dress whites, walk into Diane's room and perform a striptease to You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC. He went in to do it, only to find that not only was Di there but so were all her roommates. Just when we didn't think we could laugh any harder; Mr and Mrs Schonke showed up." Bax, Keeter and Sturgis were howling just remembering the incident.
"So Harm gathers up all his clothes in his hands and goes running out into the hallway in his boxers, just to run into our Middy-Lieutenant." Sturgis added. "Harm comes to attention and fixes a salute. Our Lieutenant looks him up and down and says 'Midshipman Rabb, you're out of uniform'."
"To which Harm replied; 'I lost a bet, sir'." Keeter continued. "Our Lieutenant stopped for a second and you could tell that even he was about to bust a gut, he looked right at Harm and said 'Have you been accosting female Midshipmen, Rabb?' My God, I thought Harm was going to die on the spot."
"He almost did, when Trish showed up." Bax finished.
"Your mother saw this?" Mac's entire face was one of complete surprise.
"It was the last day before Christmas leave." Harm explained.
"I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time." Gunny stated as he wiped a tear from his eye.
"Thanks guys, now I'll never be able to work with these two again." Harm tossed a mock-frustrated look at his buddies.
"Alright, enough of the bull. I want to dance, anyone up for it?" Mac looked around at the table.
"I've had a few, Mac; I'm not in the mood for falling on my ass." Keeter joked.
"I'm in the same boat as Keeter." Sturgis responded.
"Not really the dancing type, Mac." Harm relinquished with a wave.
"I'll take this one if the lady would be so kind." Bax got up from his seat at the booth.
"I don't know, SEAL, think you can handle me?" Mac challenged him with little snarl.
"I guess we'll find out." Bax took Mac by the hand and led her out to the dance floor.
"You really want to let a hound like Bax, get that close to Mac, Harm?" Keeter looked across the table at his old friend.
"Listen, we all know Bax talks a big game, but he's a pussy cat. Besides, Mac's a big girl, she can handle him." Harm explained.
"Amazing, that denial routine of his." Sturgis and Keeter clinked their shotglasses together.
"What exactly does that mean?" Harm leaned into the table.
"Hammer, you're right, Bax is a hound but how would you feel if, knowing that, Mac started to date him?" Keeter pushed his question.
"What Mac does with her own time is none of my business." Harm replied.
"Same as with Commander Brumby, sir?" Gunny added, seeing that the Navy wasn't getting anywhere, this was obviously a task for the Marines.
"You have something to say, Gunny?" Harm turned toward the gunnery sergeant.
"Sir, you give off this vibe around Colonel MacKenzie that a blind man could pick up on. To be honest, sir, I'm surprised it doesn't show up on radar." Gunny replied, finishing off his second beer.
"Just for that one, Gunny, your next round is on me." Keeter motioned for the waitress.
Out on the dance floor, Bax and Mac were getting rather close as their movements picked up in step with the tempo of the song.
"So, tell me about yourself." Mac stated quickly.
"Not much to tell, SEAL, going to Surface Warfare School now." Bax replied as he pulled Mac a little closer. "What about you?"
"JAG lawyer, used to be in Admin." Mac replied.
"You want me to help you make Harm jealous enough to act?" Bax smiled maniacally.
"Am I that obvious?" Mac replied, the rapidity of the movements making her breaths more rapid as well.
"To anyone who looks hard enough." Bax replied.
"What did you have in mind?" Mac breathed out.
"Follow my lead." Bax moved his hands to her hips and brought her in close. Mac raised her hands to run her fingers along the stubble on his face. Quickly Bax turned Mac around so her back was facing him and he moved his hands to her thighs.
"Any higher and you get yourself killed." Mac warned in a whisper.
"I know, like I said, I'm not stupid enough to take a run at you myself, knowing how you two look at each other. This is a show." Bax whispered right back. "Besides, I need to talk to Harm about something later."
"Oh, what are you and Harm going to talk about?" Mac turned and placed her hands on Bax's chest.
"I need to get his permission for something." Bax replied as he slid his hands up to Mac's waist. "I want to get serious with one of Harm's exes, and Guys Code of Honour says I have to get his permission."
"Only you guys would come up with a dumb rule like that." Mac moved her hands up Bax's chest to his neck. "Who is she?"
"Kate Pike." Bax replied and Mac looked shocked for a moment.
Back at the table, it was easy to see the amusement on the faces of Sturgis, Keeter and Gunny. Harm, on the other hand looked rather annoyed.
"Even after twenty years, old Bax has still got it." Keeter joked, by now he and Sturgis were working on their fifth bourbons and Gunny was on his seventh beer.
"Smoke and mirrors." Harm replied, laughing nervously. He hadn't taken his eyes off of Mac since she started dancing. Grinding was more like it. He knew after Manly beach that Mac had some pretty liberal sexual boundaries and he knew from the Academy that Bax was a dog when it came to women, that's what made the scene particularly unnerving.
When Mac stopped for a second and looked completely surprised up at Bax, everyone at the table seemed puzzled. "What do you think he said to warrant that kind of response?" Gunny turned toward Harm.
"Well, he didn't get slapped, so it wasn't rude or vulgar, it just looks like he said something that surprised the hell out of her." Harm responded, slightly puzzled himself.
"Judging by a few of those moves earlier, I didn't think a whole lot of talking was involved in what they were doing." Keeter knocked back another shot of bourbon.
"What's that supposed to mean Keet?" Harm practically leapt out of his seat.
"Settle down buddy, Keeter has a point though, Mac and Bax did seem pretty close out there a few minutes ago." Sturgis put a hand on Harm's shoulder to ease him back into the seat.
"Besides, sir, Commander Baxter seems like a decent guy, he'd never go after the Colonel knowing how you look at her." Gunny added.
"Something to share with the class, Gunny?" Harm turned his head toward the gunnery sergeant.
"Just calling them as I see them, sir." Gunny raised his beer to his lips. The song ended and Bax and Mac came back up to the table.
"Oh my God, that was fun!" Mac was smiling widely as she threw herself into the booth.
"I think I have to remember that I'm about to turn forty, I'm not built for that any more." Bax sounded winded as he dropped into the booth.
"You're starting to sound like an old man, Baxter." Harm slugged his friend in the shoulder.
"I could still take you in a game of numbers, Rabb." Bax challenged, his chin raised proudly into the air.
"Numbers? Why do I feel another Academy story coming?" Mac looked around the table, waiting for an explanation.
"At the Bull Moose, we all used to play the game of Numbers. Whoever collected the least phone numbers one night, had to pick up the tab the next night we went out." Sturgis explained to Mac as the waitress slid another drink down in front of him.
"So what do you say, Hammer? Think you and the Bax-man are ready to come out of retirement for one no-holds-barred game?" Keeter shoved Harm slightly.
"I'll even play." Gunny got up out of his seat.
"I'm game." Bax said.
"You're on." Harm added and the three men made their way out into the club.
"What do you think, Mac, who's got the edge?" Sturgis was starting to slur his words, but one could hardly be surprised with a man on his seventh bourbon.
"Hard to say. First impressions go to Harm, his smile and eyes are a great ice-breaker. Conversations go to Gunny, he can really make you warm up and I've seen him talk to women. If it comes down to a dance, the edge goes to Bax." Mac stated as they watched the three men work their magic on respective targets.
Sure enough, after about ninety minutes, Mac's analysis of the three men's strengths was dead on. Harm's first impressions had worked their wonders on a few blondes, Gunny was able to entertain multiple women at a time when he talked and even though you could tell it was taking a physical toll, Bax was in hot demand on the dance floor. Mac had told the waitress to cut Keeter and Sturgis off at ten and she had done just that, although, she had to admit that a drunken Sturgis Turner was a humorous sight.
Mac called the contestants back to the table and they came a running, all of them smiling. "Alright, let's see who managed to be the most successful at being a middle-aged playboy." Mac joked as the guys took their seats. "First, the challenger." Bax pulled a few slips of paper out of his pocket and put them down on the table. "Commander Baxter registers with nine. Next, the challenged." Harm reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a few slips of paper of his own. "Commander Rabb registers with nine as well. Finally, the Marine." Mac pointed at Gunny.
Gunny reached into both of his pockets and produced, what on could judge just from looking, was more slips of paper that either Bax or Harm. "Gunnery Sergeant Galindez registers with twelve. Score one for the Marines."
"Impressive, Gunny." Harm gave Gunny a pat on the back.
"Takes some doing to beat Hammer and I." Bax also gave the Gunny a pat on the back.
"Not if you're a Marine." Gunny thumped his chest proudly.
"Let me buy the triumphant Marine his next round than." Harm motioned for the waitress and Gunny ordered another beer.
An hour later, they decided to pack up and head home. Sturgis and Gunny were in no condition to drive and Keeter looked like he was about to pass out so the three drunk members of the party were brought back to Harm's apartment by the three sober members. Harm and Bax were given the duty of dragging Sturgis and Keeter up the stairs. Both of the distinguished Navy Commanders had passed out in the Lexus on the ride over and the Gunny was clinging to the last threads of his consciousness. Harm laid Keeter out on the couch and dragged the air mattress over for Bax to lay Sturgis out on.
"Sir, I hate to be a bother but…permission to pass out, sir?" Gunny managed to fix a sloppy salute.
"Permission granted, Gunny." Harm chortled and Gunny passed out on his stomach on the floor.
"Hey Mac, could you watch the gruesome threesome for a minute, I've got to talk to Harm about something privately?" Bax turned his attention to the only standing Marine in the room.
"Sure Bax, you two go on." Mac pushed them out the door and closed it behind them.
"Okay Bax, what is so important." Harm's tone was largely the product of the display that he'd witnessed on the dance floor at the club.
"I need permission." Bax stated simply.
"Permission for what?" Harm's confusion was evident.
"You know, permission." Bax tried to use a little more insinuation so that Harm would get his drift.
"Bax, what the hell are you talking about?" Harm voiced his confusion and growing frustration at the cryptic remarks.
"I need permission to date a girl you've expressed interest in." Bax explained quickly. Harm felt his heart stop. Was one of his oldest friends about to try and take a run at Mac right under his nose? God, dealing with Bugme had been one thing, there was nothing likeable about the man but Bax. If Bax and Mac ended up dating he'd have to keep his mouth shut, he couldn't ask Mac what she saw in him as a guy without her challenging what he saw in Bax as a friend. Bax had given him the chance to end that possibility right now though. All Harm had to do was answer in the negative and Bax would hold true to the Code of Honour and back off completely.