Chapter Four
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.
Author's Note: Well, here's the next chapter. Sorry it's a bit late. Gomen! *bows repeatedly*
Kaoru was close to tears by the time she turned her key in the lock of the apartment. She'd run all the way home and kept expecting to see Kenshin's angry face.
All of Yumi's warning's echoed in her head. Thinking back to his behavior, she was ready to believe he could do anything. He'd been punching the numbers into the phone keypad and slamming his wallet shut. This is what I get for messing around in someone else's life, Kaoru thought. He could have done something terrible to me!
She shivered at the thought. It was true what her roommates said, that there was no way to judge which guys were trustworthy and which were creeps. She had nothing to go on but her instincts, and it seemed those weren't so hot, either.
She was just opening her bedroom door when the latch squeaked and Misao called out, "Kaoru is that you?"
Kaoru put on her brightest face as she looked around the living room door. "Oh, hi. I didn't think that anyone else was home," she said with a bid smile. Megumi was draped on the sofa in black silk pajamas. Misao was wrapped in a long poncho. A big bowl of popcorn was between them.
"Hi, come on in," Megumi called. "Misao got invited to a cozy penthouse dinner, but we decided we preferred each other's company tonight."
When Kaoru looked astounded, the other girls laughed.
"Our 'men' both have to work late, Misao said, "so we're having a pajama party. Wanna join? There's popcorn, and some ravioli's left in the kitchen if you really want t eat."
"Thanks, but I ate at work," Kaoru said.
"If you got overtime, you'd be able to buy a BMW by now," Megumi commented. "I wonder what loser is driving around in my old BMW," she added meditatively. "Sometimes I get very tired of playing Cinderella. It's about time me or my Prince Charming gets a nice, new, reliable car!"
Kaoru could feel her cheeks getting hot. A few hours earlier she'd thought that Kenshin was some Prince Charming, but he turned out to be a major frog.
"Come and get this popcorn before Misao hogs it all. You can't have eaten tat much at work!" Megumi said.
"Please," Misao countered. "Who was the one who wanted to drench this in butter? I want you to know, Kaoru, that I've been taking on kernel at a time, while piggo here has been grabbing fistfuls.
She hesitated in the doorway, wanting to join the warmth of the living room and yet still overwhelmed by her horrifying experience. She knew she wouldn't be able to pull off a carefree evening for long. Sooner or later, one of them would pick up on her tension and want to know what was wrong.
"Thanks, but I've got an awful headache," she said, putting her hand up to her head. This was partially true. There was still a tight band of tension around her forehead, which could well develop into a headache any minute. "I think I'll just go lie down."
The two faced immediately registered concern.
"Kaoru, are you sure you're not working too hard?" Megumi asked. "It's not healthy to stare at a computer screen for too many hours. No wonder you keep getting headaches."
"And not eating properly is not good for a growing girl like you," Misao added.
"Misao, you make me sound as if I'm eight years old. And I do eat properly. It's just that I'm not hungry tonight."
"I'll make you some tea if you want," Misao said. She began to get her feet.
"Thanks, but I really don't want anything," Kaoru said. "It's very nice of you to pamper me, but I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself."
"I think everyone needs someone to pamper them when they are down, or when they've been working too hard," Misao said.
Kaoru shifted from one foot to the other. The strain of acting normal was getting to her. The phony laughter on the TV was cutting into her temples. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Liv Tyler entertaining a tall, dark man in her apartment. He was trying to come on strong and she as dodging around the sofa, being bright and chirpy. The audience thought it was screamingly funny. Kaoru didn't. She knew what it was like to feel overwhelmed by a man.
"If you don't mind," she said weakly, "I really think I'll go lie down now. I'll see you guys I the morning."
"Okay, Kaoru," Misao said. "Hope you feel better."
"Me, too," Megumi said, "Oh, and you'll find something to cheer you up in your room. You got a letter from home. I put it on your bed."
Kaoru went into her room. The white envelope was lying on top of her quilt. A letter from home. The casual was that Megumi said it, as if it were no big deal! Didn't Megumi realize that she hadn't had a letter from home in six months? Not since she had walked out of the house, telling her parents to stop trying to run her life for her.
She had written to them once, a brief business-like note, telling them that she was safe, had a job and a room with two respectable young women so they didn't have to worry about her anymore. She had received no reply and didn't really expect one. Her parents were both old-fashioned, proud and stubborn. Especially her otousan. He would have forbidden her okasan to write, even if she'd wanted to. She could imagine what he'd been saying, "Give the girl a few months to find out what the big city's really like, and she'll realize we weren't so stupid after all. She'll come running home with her tail between her legs. You mark me."
For the moment, even her ordeal with Kenshin was forgotten. Kaoru turned the envelope over, looking at her okasan's round, school girlish writing. So what had made them change their minds and start communication with her again? It must be bad news, Kaoru thought. She figured that's the only reason her okasan would write to her. Maybe otousan's had a heart attack from lifting all the heavy machinery. Or maybe Obasan died. She wasn't too well after the flu last winter or maybe, just maybe, they're missing me and they want me to forgive them for the way they behaved, she stopped herself. Will you stop being a coward and open it?
Carefully she ripped open the envelope and took out the pink, line notepaper. It was the sort of notepaper a child will use and it showed how little her okasan ever needed to write letters. With trembling fingers she opened it.
"Dear Kaoru," her Okasan had written.
We hope that you are well, everything is just fine here. Your Otosan's business has been looking up lately. With the recession on, more people are repairing old farm machinery than buying new. Sometimes I think he works too hard, considering his age. Your Oneechan sends her love. So do her kids. They're both such active noisy little tykes that she has her hand full. Of course, she loves it and has really blossomed into a lovely young wife and mother. Motherhood will do that for you, too. A woman's true place is taking care of her family. That's what God intended for us women, Kaoru. It's not natural to want to live alone with a bunch of strangers.
Anyway, your Otosan and I are hoping that you've learned your lesson by now. We know that you've a stubborn streak in you and wont come home unless we make contact first. So we're swallowing our pride, in spite of all the terrible things you said to us, and telling you that we want to have you back with us. We miss you.
Kaoru swallowed hard. She wanted to admit that she missed them, too, but it didn't seem that they'd come any closer to understand her. She read on.
I'm sure you've found by now that making a living in the city is not easy of fun. It's full of untrustworthy and even dangerous people, Kaoru, as I'm sure you've discovered. Your Otosan and I pray every night that you are preserved from danger and from making the wrong choices. You aren't equipped to handle those smooth city types. We just pray you've kept out of danger and temptation.
By the way, you'll never guess who stopped by yesterday ---- that nice Tsunan who was so swept on you in high school. He's making a real good living now as a representative for a fertilizer company and he gets to travel all over the area. They give him a car and everything! He's grown into a fine looking young man. The sort of man any girl would be proud to have as a husband. Anyway, he asked about you and he wanted to know when you were coming back home. He seemed to perk up when I told him it would probably be soon and he even said if you were still interested in this crazy newspaper idea, that he knows the owner of the local newspaper and you could maybe write something for them from time to time, just to keep your hand in.
So how about it Kaoru? Your folks miss you. You're boyfriend misses you. You've had your little fun, and now it's time to settle down. We hope to have you home by Christmas.
Love, Okasan and Otasan
Kaoru stared at the letter, then crumpled it up and flung it to the furthest corner. It was hopeless. They hadn't changed one bit. They were still as narrow-minded and stubborn and prejudiced as when she left them. And they were still pressuring her to marry Tsukioka Tsunan, the world's boring man. She'd dated him in high school, when she didn't know any better and there wasn't much of a choice.
It was true he was good-looking, in a farm boy sort of way but so dull Kaoru squirmed again and remembered the way he would recite baseball stats to her for hours. And if he wasn't talking baseball, he was talking hogs. His dad had a hog farm and Tsunan had to tell her the weight of every hog sold at market and how much money it had fetched.
"I'll show them," she thought. She went across to her chest of drawers and rummaged for a pen and paper. She'd write back immediately and let them see that she wasn't floundering in the big city. She was having a great time, working at a really hip newspaper and meeting the most fascinating. Creative people who never once mentioned hogs or baseball.
I'll tell them I'm dating...then she stopped short and closed the drawer again. The letter had made her forget all about Kenshin and what happened tonight. A creeping doubt entered her mind, suggesting that her parents may be right after all. She really didn't know how to handle herself. Just because a guy had sounded wonderful on the phone did not mean that he was a safe, reliable person.
"But I don't want safe and reliable." Kaoru sighed, flinging herself back onto the bed and staring up at the pattern of cracks and water stains on the yellowed ceiling. So what did she want?
If only things had seen different, she knew she could have fallen for Himura Kenshin in a big way. He was everything she found attractive in a guy. Now that the terror had worn off, Kaoru found herself wondering if she should go back and tell him the truth.
Maybe if she explained, then they could go on from there. Maybe he'd be in a better mood the next time and he'd be glad to have someone to commiserate with now that Tomoe was probably gone forever…
"Are you crazy?" she asked herself out loud. Did she really want to risk getting tied-up with an unpredictable, violent, intimidating person just because he happened to be great-looking and she built up this fantasy about him?
Better play it safe, Kaoru, a little voice whispered in her head. Yet another, darker voice reminded her that she had left home because she was sick and tired of playing it safe, that she had dreamed of excitement and adventure ---- and even danger.
Kaoru began to see things from Kenshin's point of view. Poor Kenshin, she thought. He's been left with a false hope. He really believes I know where Tomoe is. I bet he's totally depressed tonight, thinking that I had the answers but he let me get away.
She was becoming more confused by the minute. Could it do too much harm to go back to Razzles just once more and explain things to him?
TBC
Glossary:
gomen: sorry
Otousan: Father
Okasan: Mother
Obasan: Grandmother
Oneechan: Big sister
Athour's Note: So what do you think? As always, I look forward to reading what you guys think of my little fanfic. I hope that it's worth the lengthy wait. (-o-)