Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: I don't RK.

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for all the reviews and support.

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"Kaoru, what's the matter?" Megumi leapt up from the sofa where she'd been sprawled, watching TV.

Kaoru was hardly aware how she'd gotten home. She didn't remember walking up the stairs or putting the key in the lock. All she concentrated on was getting into her room before she started to cry again.

"What happened?" Megumi asked again.

Kaoru meant to say "Nothing at all," and rush past. But Misao heard the voices in the hallway and came out from the kitchen.

"What is it?" Misao asked, when she saw Kaoru's tear-stained cheeks. "Kaoru, are you okay?" she said.

Kaoru nodded. She didn't want to try and speak because she knew she wouldn't be able to get the words out without sobbing.

"I mean, are you really okay? Nobody tied to attack you or mug you or anything?"

Kaoru shook her head. "No," she managed to mumble.

Misao didn't hover as Megumi had. She ran up and wrapped Kaoru in a big bear hug. "It's okay. We're here. Come in to the kitchen and I'll fix you a cup of tea and you can tell us all about it," she said.

Kaoru let herself be propelled along the hall and seated on a kitchen stool.

"Now," Misao said gently, "Drink some and you'll feel better."

"She'd probably feel better after a long shot of whiskey," Megumi said dryly. "The way she looks, I don't think tea will do it."

"We don't have any whiskey, so tea will have to do," Misao said. "She's cold. She needs warming up."

The tea was finding its way down to Kaoru's stomach, even though she'd been sure she wouldn't be able to swallow. And it was warming her. But the suddenly overwhelming kindness was too much for her. Tears started to flow unchecked down her cheeks, dripping from her chin onto her collar. Megumi ran to get the box of tissue from the bathroom and offered then to her.

"You better use these before we have to start building an ark," she said.

Kaoru managed a watery smile and dabbed at her cheeks with a tissue.

"Now, tell us what upset you so much," Megumi said. "With crying like that, it's got to be a man."

Kaoru tried to get control of her breathing. "It's all over," she gasped. "He doesn't want to see me again."

"Who doesn't?" both girls asked in unison.

"Kenshin."

"Kenshin who?" both girls chorused again.

"Kaoru, is this what's been going on?" Misao asked.

Kaoru nodded.

"Why didn't you tell us about him before?" Megumi demanded. "Why keep him a big secret? What's wrong with him?"

Kaoru shook her head violently. "Nothing. He was wonderful..." The last words were overwhelmed with sobs again.

"So why didn't you tell us, Kaoru?" Misao asked gently. "We're your closest friends. We'd have been really happy for you that you'd found a guy. You know that."

"But he wasn't really mine," Kaoru blurted out. "That was the problem... He was Tomoe's and I only went because I wanted to see them together again and I didn't expect to fall in love with him --- in fact he scared me at first --- but then I did fall in love with him and I thought he loved me and he'd forgotten Tomoe for a moment, but I guess he hadn't and I guess I'm so boring and unattractive that no guy wants to be with me for long..."

The words poured out in a torrent, interspersed with sobs. Finally Megumi interrupted. "Kaoru, what the hell are you talking about?" she asked. "I haven't been able to understand a word you've been said. Begin at the beginning and tell us the story one step at a time."

Kaoru took a long sip of the tea, then a deep breath. "It all started when he placed an ad," she said. "He was trying to find Tomoe again."

"Who was?" Misao asked.

"Kenshin. His name is Kenshin. He was worried about Tomoe."

"Who's Tomoe?"

"His lost love. I think she must have been his childhood sweetheart. They've known each other a long time."

"And how did you get involved?" Megumi asked.

"I went to Razzles to see if he met up with Tomoe again."

"You followed up on someone else's ad?" Misao asked in amazement. "Kaoru, why would you do a thing like that? Isn't that breaking your paper's code of privacy? You could get fired."

"I know," Kaoru said. "That's why I didn't want to tell you guys about it. Plus, you'd all think I was stupid."

"So why did you go?"

Kaoru looked at her cup of tea. "Two reasons," she said. "I was curious. I wanted to see them get back together again and...and I fell in love with his voice."

"You went to meet a strange guy because of his voice!" Misao exclaimed.

"I know, it was dumb of me," Kaoru said, "but I couldn't help it. It was almost as if his voice had me hypnotized. I know I wasn't behaving rationally, but I just had to meet him."

"So what did you say? 'Hi, I'm your friendly ad taker and I've fallen in love with you voice, just in case Tomoe doesn't show up'," Megumi said sarcastically. Then she saw Kaoru's face. "I'm sorry. I know this isn't funny to you. I can see you're really hurting. So you met him and he turned out to be a jerk after all?"

Kaoru shook her head. "I met him and he was great," she said. "He was everything I dreamed of. We went out to dinner and we talked about Tomoe and I thought he had resigned himself to not seeing her again. I really thought that he had begun to like me instead, but..."

"But what?"

"Everything seemed to be going so well," Kaoru said. "We were walking hand in hand and it was so romantic! He stopped to kiss me and it was so great, and then, suddenly, he looked at me like he never wanted to see me again and he bundled me into a taxi." She started to cry again. "I don't understand. Am I really so gross that no guy wants to be near me?"

"Of course not," Misao said. "You're very cute, Kaoru. Any guy would be happy to have you."

"Then why?" Kaoru asked miserably. "What did I do to turn him off suddenly? The way he was kissing me, I thought he really liked me a lot. Do you think it's because I haven't been with any city guys and I don't know how to kiss the right way or something?"

"There's no right or wrong way to kiss," Megumi said. "When the time comes, you do what feels good, and that's always right. Simple as that."

"So why did he decide he didn't want to see me again?"

"He actually said that?"

"No, but he sure implied it," Kaoru said hopelessly. "He said this wasn't a good idea after all, and he told me I had to get on with my own life. Then he shoved me into a taxi and told the driver to take me home."

"Sounds to me like guilt pangs," Misao said, looking to Megumi for support.

"Me, too," Megumi said.

"You mean Kenshin was feeling guilty?" Kaoru asked.

Misao nodded. "About Tomoe," she said. "He meets you when he's trying to trace his former love. Now he's attracted to you but suddenly he reminds himself that he shouldn't give up on a girl he's loved for most of his life. He's betraying her trust by kissing you."

"I see," Kaoru said slowly. "So, what you're saying is that he hasn't gotten over her at all. He might have been a little attracted to me, on the surface, but deep down he's still in love with Tomoe."

"That's what it looks like to me," Misao said gently. "Of course, I could be wrong. I have been known to make mistakes about men before."

Misao looked across at Megumi and grinned.

"You? Never," Megumi said fondly.

Kaoru was digesting what Misao had said. Either Kenshin didn't find Kaoru desirable or he was still desperately in love with Tomoe. Either way, it seemed pretty hopeless.

"So do you think I should just forget about him?" Kaoru asked in a shaky voice. It hurt even to say it out loud.

"Do you want to forget about him?" Megumi asked?

"Of course not. I think I've fallen in love with him in a big way. That's why it hurts so much," Kaoru said. "I never felt like this about anybody before. He's so perfect...he even knows where Atami is."

"Definitely perfect," Megumi said with a smile.

"So fight for him," Misao said. "Do your best to get him back."

"But what can I do? He doesn't want me. He's in love with Tomoe forever."

"Oh, Kaoru, you should have told us all this before," Megumi said. "We could have helped you."

"Oh, no," Kaoru sighed. "I might have a broken heart, but it was worth every minute of it."

"Don't talk like it's all over," Megumi said. "If you really want him, I say go for it."

"But how?"

Misao glanced across at Megumi for inspiration.

"You could try and find Tomoe for him, and maybe she's got a new guy. Then Kenshin will see she doesn't want him anymore."

"How could I do that?" Kaoru said. "Kenshin has been combing the city for a month now. He even ran that ad in the paper he's sure Tomoe would read, and no luck. Besides," she added, "I don't even know what she looks like."

"Good point," Megumi said.

"I think you should call Kenshin," Misao said. "Tell him how you feel, but that you understand about Tomoe and you're prepared to be just friends if that's what he wants. Tell him you value his friendship, and let things progress from there."

"There's only one small detail," Kaoru said. "He didn't give me his address."

"But you already have it from the newspaper."

"I know that," Kaoru said, "but he doesn't know that I was his ad taker. He thinks I read the ad and became curious.

"So call him up and tell the truth," Megumi said impatiently.

"I can't do that," Kaoru said. "If he gets mad at me, he could complain and I'd be fired."

"This is a tricky one," Misao said.

"Maybe I could give him time," Kaoru continued. "Maybe he just has to work things through. If I don't hear from him in a week, I'll take the risk and call him. After that, what have I got to lose? There must be other jobs that pay minimum wage. And if I work at Norstrom's, at least I'll get a clothing discount!"

Megumi had been eyeing Kaoru. "Yeah, Kaoru, speaking of clothes...what are you doing dressed like that?"

"It's my new look. I decided the old me was too dull, so I created a new me. What do you think?"

"I think it's very...interesting---" Misao began.

Megumi cut in. "But it's not you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you look like an art student and you're not."

"But I hated the way I looked; like someone's niece from the sticks. I thought Kenshin might like me better this way."

"And did he?"

"I guess not. Maybe he got interested in me because he thought I was the experienced type, and when he kissed me he found out how boring I really am."

"That's silly," Misao said. "Besides, men think the innocent types are sexy."

"So what should I do?" Kaoru said. "I don't want to go back to being my old self."

"Then decide who you want to be and work on it," Megumi said.

"Who I'd want to be costs big bucks," Kaoru said.

"Maybe I could help out," Megumi said. "I've got some nice stuff in my closet. Come look it over. You can borrow what you want."

"Mine, too," Misao said. "Although most of my stuff might not fit you.

Kaoru jumped down from her stool and came over to put her arms around her friends' shoulders. "You guys are the greatest," she said.

"What are roommates for?" Misao said, smiling.

TBC