Tobirama regards the young pink-haired girl next to him. She is helping him organize the scrolls in his study, but this is the third scroll she has misplaced, which is very much unlike her.
"You're distracted," he points out.
Sakura's eyes focus on the scroll in her hands. She grimaces.
"I'm sorry, Tobi-ojii-san."
"Perhaps it is time for a break," Tobirama says, taking the scroll away from her. "What is distracting you, child?"
He watches as Sakura struggles to find her words. Such patience is unusual for him, but Tobirama has learned long ago that Sakura's thoughts are worth the wait.
"Do you agree with the other elders? About me?"
Tobirama frowns.
"What have you heard?"
"That I'm too sensitive," Sakura says, and she keeps her eyes trained downwards in an attempt to stop him from seeing the tears that have already accumulated. "That I'm not resilient like Yamato-nii or talented like Tenten-nee."
Tobirama sighs.
"Do you agree with what the elders have said?" he asks. Sakura's silence speaks volumes. "Do you know who you remind me of?" At Sakura's inquisitive glance, he says, "Your grandfather. He was very…" Tobirama trails off, and only resumes until he finds the right word: "attuned. To the moods of others. But that didn't stop him from being one of the best leaders our clan has ever seen."
Sakura frowns.
"But I won't be clan head. I heard the elders say that they'd marry me off one day to secure an alliance with another clan."
Tobirama laughs humorlessly.
"That is probably true." At Sakura's affronted look, he gives her a rare, affectionate smile and says, "The inner workings of every clan are different, but one thing remains the same: every person in a clan has an integral part to play. As your mother's youngest daughter, a pawn to be used for a politically advantageous marriage is your most obvious role."
"Is that all I'm destined for?" Sakura asks.
Tobirama looks at her, a calculated gleam in his eyes.
"Is that all you want for yourself?" he says.
"No," Sakura answers immediately. "I don't know what I want yet. But I know I don't want to be a pawn."
Tobirama nods.
"How much of that conversation did you listen to?"
"Just that. I didn't want to listen to more of what they had to say."
Tobirama laughs.
"If you had stayed, you would have heard your mother say that you were too observant for your own good. And that she would not allow the elders to iron out that strength, even if they only see it as a weakness." Then he tilts her chin up with one finger and says, "But the elders are also right." Betrayal flickers in her eyes. "You are not resilient. You are too easily dissuaded by pain. And while you are not talented with weaponry the same way your sister is, you are talented in other ways. You are sweet, kind, and even people who dislike children find you charming. But you would be foolish to believe that charm will be enough to carry you through life."
Tears spill out of the corners of her eyes, but she has not looked down. She is glaring at him, and if not for the fact that little Sakura is only seven years old, Tobirama may have feared for his life.
"So you do agree with the elders," she says in a sharp voice.
"To an extent," Tobirama says wryly. "What the elders forget is that resilience and endurance can be learned." He watches with great satisfaction as the anger dissipates from her body. Her eyes are sharp, focused; she is thinking. "Do not forget, Sakura: it is the role of the elders to preserve tradition and remind the clan head of the clan's history. They demand perfection because they have seen what happens when people fail."
Sakura nods. The tears are gone.
"Resilience can be learned," she echoes softly.
"Yes," Tobirama says. "It is a muscle. One that you can strengthen with practice and time."
"Do you think I can do it, Tobi-ojii-san?"
He gently squeezes her chin between his thumb and forefinger.
"Of course, hime. But whether you do it is up to you, isn't it?"
The clan calls Tsunade hime out of respect for their fearsome matriarch. The elders call Sakura hime to criticize her sensitive nature. And when Tobirama says it with that special softness in his eyes reserved only for Tsunade's youngest, hime is a sign of great affection.
Sakura beams at him. Then an inquisitive expression takes over her face.
"Tobi-ojii-san, can I ask you about something I read in one of your scrolls?"
He looks at her with some exasperation.
"You're not supposed to be reading those."
"I didn't mean to read it. But it looked interesting, so I took a little longer putting it away," Sakura says, blushing.
Tobirama laughs.
"Ask your question, child."
One hour later, Tobirama's heavily abridged explanation of the history of Fire Country's great clans is coming to a close, and to his amusement, Sakura's attention has not wavered. Her eyes are bright and alert as she absorbs his words with eagerness, and Tobirama is compelled to ask: "Sakura, what have you heard your mother say about politics?"
"That it's stupid but necessary," Sakura recites in her best imitation of Tsunade.
Tobirama laughs.
"Your mother never had the patience for it, but her frank nature has served her well," Tobirama says. "If you don't want to be a pawn in someone else's game, then perhaps it is time for you to learn how to move shogi pieces for yourself."
The morning after her wedding, Sakura wakes up with a splitting headache, a stuffy nose, and swollen eyes. Moving as quietly as possible, Sakura readies herself for the day before slipping out of the room.
Touching the raw, sensitive skin around her eyes, Sakura winces. It would not be ideal for her new clan to see her in such a state. With some trepidation, she seeks out the women's bathhouse, and despite the simple layout of the large sprawling compound, she slows down, unsure of whether she is headed in the right direction at all.
"You're awake early," someone says.
Sakura nearly jumps out of her skin as she whirls around to see an older woman with clever silver eyes and gray streaks in her dark hair.
"Okaa-san," Sakura says softly, bowing. She keeps her eyes down, hoping that Aiko has not looked closely enough to see that she has been crying.
"You've been crying." So much for that. "Did he hurt you?"
Alarmed at the sharpness in Aiko's voice, Sakura looks at her and immediately says, "No. No, of course not, okaa-san."
Aiko's shoulders relax and the fire in her eyes dissipates.
"Good. A mother should not be disciplining her son at this age." Aiko regards her with some curiosity before saying, "You look lost."
Sakura nods, doing her best not to look as miserable as she feels.
"I was looking for the bathhouses. I'm not sure if I'm even going the right way."
Aiko laughs quietly.
"The compound is large, and it is far too easy for newcomers to second-guess themselves," Aiko says. "I'll walk with you."
Sakura smiles.
"Thank you, okaa-san."
They walk in silence. From the few moments Sakura has managed to observe, it appears that Aiko is happy to spend time in the company of others without having to make useless small talk, so Sakura remains quiet.
"Here is the women's bathhouse."
Sakura nods and bows again.
"Thank you, okaa-san."
To her surprise, Aiko puts a hand on her shoulder and gently pushes her to stand straight before looking deep into Sakura's eyes.
"Come to me for anything," Aiko says. "Anything at all. Any questions you have about the clan, the compound, and especially my son. Do you understand?"
"Yes, okaa-san," Sakura says. "Thank you."
Aiko regards her with those clever eyes.
"Do you want me to wait for you?"
Sakura pauses.
"Only if you have nothing urgent or important to attend to, okaa-san," she says.
Aiko smiles.
"Receiving a new daughter is both urgent and important," Aiko says gently. "I will wait."
Sakura hurries into the empty bathhouse, splashes some water on her face, then cries once more for good measure because there is something about Aiko's matter-of-fact demeanor that reminds her so much of her own mother.
With a deep breath, she washes her face one more time and touches her eyes. They are beginning to feel better.
When Sakura walks back to her new home with her new mother, Aiko says, "What does a normal day look like for you?"
Sakura thinks.
"I read treatises in the mornings," she says. "Mostly to help my great-uncle draft up new ones."
"Tobirama-san."
Sakura nods.
"In the afternoons, I spent time with my mother," she shares with more confidence. "She is a talented healer. Everything I know about the healing arts, I learned from her. And —"
And in the evenings, she obsessively read the letters that Sukea sent her every week, studying the confident brushstrokes on the page with flushed cheeks as she memorized the poems he wrote for her.
Sakura's throat closes up and stays that way. Aiko nods.
"Let me show you something."
Aiko takes her to the communal building in the center of the compound where the dining hall is located. On the way there, Sakura exhales with some awe as the Hatake compound stirs to life. The branch house wives are grouping together, and before them, three lines of white-haired children — all boys — have formed, separated by age group. Sakura stifles a giggle when she sees a pair of twins decide to switch places in line.
"It's not much, but we keep our most valuable literature here. Read anything you like," Aiko says when she opens the doors to a small room filled with boxes of scrolls. "Excuse the mess; we've been meaning to organize it but there are only so many hours in a day."
Sakura's eyes light up when she sees the empty shelves along the walls.
"If you'd like, I can organize these scrolls, okaa-san," she offers.
Aiko tilts her head.
"Do you need help moving things?"
"I think I can manage on my own," Sakura says.
Aiko nods.
"If you change your mind, I can ask —" she pauses to look out into the hallway, then gestures for someone to come closer. A burly Hatake clansman with his long white hair gathered into a high bun suddenly appears. "Sakura, this is Takumi." The man bows before her and Aiko. "He is strong, and he is familiar with the contents of each box. If you find that you need help, let me know and I can withdraw Takumi from today's training for you."
Takumi has kind eyes. Sakura thinks she will be fine here.
"Thank you, okaa-san, Takumi-san," Sakura says with a bow. "I promise I will let you know if I need help."
Despite not eating much the night before, Sakura opts out of breakfast. It is difficult for her to eat in the mornings, she explains to a concerned-looking Aiko.
"I always make up for it when I eat lunch," she says, a small smile on her face.
Aiko laughs.
"Fair enough."
And she leaves Sakura alone with the boxes of dusty scrolls.
With some patience, Sakura makes her way through the boxes, finding scrolls ranging from scouting reports to instructions on forging various blades. By the time Aiko returns, she has managed to move half the scrolls onto the shelves.
"You need to eat something," Aiko says firmly.
Sakura nods.
"Will Kakashi be joining us?" she asks tentatively.
Aiko's eyes soften.
"He typically eats with the men during training," Aiko says. "But I'm sure he'll reconsider if you ask him."
Given his response to her last night, Sakura is not as optimistic about her chances, but she'll give it a try.
"He's by the training grounds, then?" Sakura asks. At Aiko's nod, she says, "I remember where they are. Thank you, okaa-san."
But remembering the location of the training grounds is not the same as knowing where her husband is. As she walks along the edges of the sprawling training area, she finds boys as young as five years old executing kata with a ferocity that is equal parts inspiring and terrifying. And when she finally sees an entire field of adult men, Sakura pauses, looks through the faces, and feels a sudden rush of relief when she sees one very familiar pair of warm brown eyes.
"Genma-san!" she calls out, waving.
Genma, who was watching two men spar, turns to look at her, and despite the mask he wears, it is apparent that he is smiling widely.
"Sakura-hime," he says graciously when he approaches her. After a respectful bow, he says, "It is nice to see you again."
"It is nice to see you as well."
There is an awkward pause. The last time they saw each other was during Sukea's final visit to the Senju estate, and Sakura can feel Genma's eyes studying her.
"I'm sorry, Sakura-hime," Genma says gently, quietly, so that the others cannot hear. "There is no good time to say it. But I am sorry."
Sakura nods, her eyes dry of tears.
"Thank you, Genma-san," she says. With a tremulous smile, she says, "I am looking for Kakashi. Do you know where he is?"
Genma nods.
"The next training ground. You can't miss it." He pauses then adds, "Would you like me to walk with you, Sakura-hime?"
"I'll be alright, Genma-san. Thank you," she says.
Truth be told, she does want him to walk with her, but he reminds her too much of the days she spent with Sukea. So it is with great melancholy that Sakura pushes forward to the final training ground.
It is a mess of white Hatake hair and sweat-drenched muscles. Although her eyes are looking for Kakashi, Sakura thinks of Sukea and her heart aches deep in her chest.
Overwhelmed with the desire to leave, Sakura asks the first person who makes eye contact with her about where Kakashi is. Although much taller than her, the boy she asks looks to be around her age, and after nodding towards the men lined up for food, he offers to take her directly to Kakashi.
And despite being the only woman present and having pink hair, it takes only one dismissive glance from Kakashi for Sakura to finally feel out of place.
"I came to ask if you wanted to take your next meal with us inside," she hears herself saying. Belatedly, she notices another familiar face: Takumi.
She hears a polite rejection from her husband. She nods. Recovers. Wishes the men good luck with their training. Asks the nice boy who is her age to put on some clothes before he walks her to the dining hall because even with his mask on, the lithe muscles of his chest and his arms and his hair half tied up remind her too much of the first night that she and Sukea explored each other's —
"— bodies, but by this point, I've lost count of exactly how many men I've killed," Hideo is saying with a little too much nonchalance as they approach the center of the compound.
"Enough with your bragging, child," Aiko's voice comes from behind them. Hideo blushes. "Come with me, Sakura."
"Thank you for walking me to the dining hall, Hideo-san," Sakura says politely.
"I would be happy to help you anytime with anything you need, Sakura-hime," Hideo says, that mischievous gleam from earlier reappearing in his eyes.
Despite his generous offer, Sakura decides that Hideo is not as nice as he initially made himself out to be.
Lunch is nice. She speaks with her new mother and father about the scrolls she has organized, the people she has met, and the sea of little white-haired boys executing their kata.
"I've not seen any little girls with white hair," Sakura says thoughtfully before raising her chopsticks to her mouth.
Sakumo shakes his head.
"Female children are a rare occurrence in the Hatake clan," he says. "The last documented Hatake woman was born over two hundred years ago."
"And what happened to her?" Sakura asks.
Sakumo chews his food contemplatively then swallows.
"She ran away and started her own clan. The Inuzuka."
Sakura blinks and tucks this away for future reference. Suddenly, a wave of homesickness washes over her as she thinks of her beloved sister who has idolized the founder of the matriarchal Inuzuka warrior clan for as long as Sakura can remember.
"Historical records never listed Mononoke as a Hatake," Sakura says softly. "They've only ever acknowledged her as Inuzuka Mononoke."
Sakumo nods.
"She dropped the Hatake name and chose her own. I suspect that a woman as strong as Mononoke had many disagreements about the patriarchal structure of the Hatake clan. By all accounts, she was a fearsome warrior, as all of Hatake blood are, but at the time, there was no place for a woman warrior."
In other words, Mononoke felt that she did not belong here, so she carved out a place for herself in the world.
"Have things changed?" she asks carefully.
Once again, she thinks of Tenten, who is not just the fiercest warrior that the Senju clan has ever produced, but has already managed to kill five out of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist incognito because she wanted to collect their swords .
Aiko presses her lips together to avoid frowning.
"Somewhat," Aiko says. She glances at the elders, who are eating far too quietly. "But we can speak about that another time, my dear."
A cue. Sakura nods and changes the subject gracefully.
When Sakura returns to the records room, she organizes and tucks away enough scrolls to feel comfortable calling it a library. Upon exploring the final box for the day, her eyes light up.
Medical scrolls. Judging by the thick layer of dust that has accumulated, it appears these scrolls have remained untouched for years. Tears spring to her eyes as she thinks of Tsunade, but Sakura does not want to cry. Not again. So she blinks the tears away and takes some of the scrolls so that she can study them in the comfort of her new home.
It is empty. Until it is not. And it is hard to think of this place as home when her husband points out that the scrolls she has brought with her belonged to his wife.
His real wife, presumably.
Tomorrow will be better, Sakura promises herself that night when she lays down on the futon alone. She stares at Kakashi's back, all the way in the corner on the other side of the room, until she falls asleep and dreams of Sukea's smile.
Tomorrow is better. She wakes up early to watch the Hatake children gather together in their neat lines and smiles again as the twins agree with a twitch of their eyebrows that they will stay in their rightful places today. Then she goes to the kitchens, slices two apples, and follows the sounds of a horse neighing in the distance.
She finds the source of the displeased whinnying all the way in the back of the stables, and it strikes Sakura as odd that the stablehands are not tending to him, given his obvious age.
"Be careful, Sakura-hime. He's a grumpy one," someone says behind her.
She turns around to see Takumi emerging from one of the stalls, a brush in his hand.
"Too grumpy to take apples from a new friend?" Sakura asks, showing him her hands.
Takumi shrugs.
"We've all tried to feed him before. He won't eat, unless we put the food in the trough and leave him alone —" and he stops talking, blinking in surprise when the apple slice in Sakura's palm disappears into the horse's mouth without much fuss. "Ah. That's strange. But also good."
Sakura giggles.
"Is that your horse, Takumi-san?" she asks, nodding at the dappled horse behind him.
"Yes," Takumi says with great pride. "This is Nobu. He likes carrots."
Sakura laughs again.
"I'll keep that in mind the next time I visit the stables," she says. She feeds the old horse some one more apple slice and even manages to pet his snout.
And to Sakura's dismay, she also somehow manages to irritate her new husband within the next ten minutes, but until he returns, there is not much she can do to fix that.
No matter. There are other ways for her to carve her place into this clan.
With an apologetic glance at Pakkun, she feeds him the rest of the apple slices, but only after she makes him promise to keep this final interaction to secrecy. (He agrees by licking her palm clean of apple juice.) Then she finds the branch house wives. They are sprawled all over the communal center of the compound, doing laundry, preparing food, all the while carrying white-haired babies and keeping a close eye on the ones old enough to walk around.
The branch house wives look at her with a cool, distant respect. It takes everything in Sakura not to hide away and reorganize the little library all over again.
"My name is Sakura," she says, bowing to a group of wives who are chopping meat. "Can I help?"
The women look at each other silently before one of them, the oldest in the group, speaks up: "It is messy work, Sakura-hime."
Undeterred, Sakura reaches for a discarded apron, ties it around her waist, and says, "It is also necessary work, and I am happy to help."
The women look at each other one more time.
"We don't need help cutting the meat, but it would be helpful if you could watch the children and make sure they don't hurt themselves," the same woman says.
After some time, Sakura finds out that the woman's name is Ume. She is Hideo's mother.
"The little ones are very curious," Sakura says.
This is an understatement. Over the past half hour, Sakura has had to field new waves of toddlers away from the meat chopping area, and has only been able to do so successfully with some well-placed questions that make the toddlers think twice about getting too close to the knives.
"In the same way that bees are drawn to flowers, Hatake boys are drawn to sharp blades," Ume says with a sigh. "You'll see for yourself when you have some of your own with Kakashi-san. I can only imagine the little terrors a man like that would produce."
The wives giggle amongst themselves. Sakura smiles politely, but keeps her curiosity about Kakashi and his lack of children to herself. The branch house wives have slowly warmed up to her, but something about the way they speak tells Sakura that her questions are better directed towards Aiko.
"The clan had high hopes for Kakashi, but the elders caved when he fought for the right to marry Rin instead allowing them to match him with a girl from one of the other warrior clans who would have brought a considerable dowry to the Hatake," Aiko shares with Sakura quietly over a pot of tea some days later. They are sitting together in the grand house reserved for the Hatake clan head and his family, and Sakura does her best not to think of Sukea growing up within these walls. "The clan was already opposed to their union. So when everyone heard that she could not conceive..." Aiko trails off.
Sakura closes her eyes and nods.
"If it's not too forward to ask," Sakura says tentatively, "how did she pass?"
Aiko blows over her cup of tea, her silver eyes glossy.
"She got pregnant. They weren't even trying anymore. It just happened," Aiko says faintly. "But one day, close to the six month mark, she bled out." Sakura's eyes go wide. Aiko sighs. "Kakashi blamed himself, and I wouldn't be surprised if he still does. My poor boy."
Together, they visit Rin's grave. Even in Kakashi's brief absence, it is clear how much he has taken care of the stone.
Sakura's eyes glaze over the kanji of Rin's name, and she sends out a silent prayer to the woman that came before her.
Over the next week and a half, Sakura methodically makes her way around the community center. The wives who are in charge of the kitchen are the friendliest, she finds out, and while it is tempting to remain with them, Sakura finds herself going back to Ume and her band of frightening knife-wielding women.
She wins them over when she finally convinces them to let her cut some meat. She sharpens the dull knife they have given her, then slices and dices her way through with a practiced ease. Ume's eyes glimmer with approval.
"You will produce fine warriors for the clan, Sakura-hime," Ume says.
Sakura smiles and does her best not to panic. Her monthly bleeding has been late for some time now, but she attributed that to the stress of having to acclimate to her new home, among other things.
These days, though, she is not so sure.
Her breasts are swollen and sensitive. Certain smells are beginning to induce waves of nausea. And she spent an hour this morning dry-heaving and spitting up bile as quietly as possible, all the while thankful that it is not considered unusual for her to skip breakfast.
"I sincerely hope so, Ume-oba-san," she says faintly. She glances down at her hands, which have clenched themselves into fists. She relaxes them. "I wonder when the men will return."
"You miss your husband," Ume says knowingly.
"I am eager to spend more time with him," Sakura quips without thinking, and even though her heart isn't in it, there is enough of a playful lilt in the way she says time to make the wives giggle.
"I didn't think you'd be the type to make such jokes, Sakura-hime," Ume says, smiling. "The Senju don't seem to have much of a sense of humor."
Sakura laughs, thinks of Tobirama, and tries to forget how much she misses him.
"That sense of humor is our best-kept secret," Sakura says in a conspiratorial whisper. "I hope I can trust you with it."
The wives giggle again. The conversation soon turns to their husbands. This is their first time discussing their husbands in front of Sakura, and she takes this opportunity to listen closely, despite the bawdy details.
"Sometimes I think Ichiro only respects me because he knows that if he ever displeases me —"
Asuka, one of the older wives, finishes her sentence with a sharp hacking motion at the meat below her, and the blade she is holding slices through the bone. The wives laugh.
Asuka turns to Sakura, rage gleaming in her eyes, and says, "Rumor has it that Kakashi-san has a voracious appetite. You are his wife and it is your duty to bear his children, but that does not mean you are a thing for him to use whenever he pleases. Do not be afraid to say no."
Sakura wonders where these rumors have come from. She wonders how much truth there is to them.
"Asuka, don't scare the poor girl," Ume says disapprovingly.
Sakura shakes her head.
"I have nothing to fear from Kakashi," she says.
Despite the certainty in her voice, she does not know this for sure, but if Sukea's admiration of the man, along with Aiko and Sakumo's personalities are any indication, it is a good guess.
By the time Kakashi finally returns home with all of his fearsome warriors accounted for, Sakura has had dry-heaving spells for seven mornings in a row, and not even her usual cocktail of herbs is enough to dispel the queasiness.
When she greets Kakashi and welcomes him home, she thinks of shogi pieces, pawns, and her place in this clan.
And during dinner, she thinks of everything her mother and Tobirama have worked for, and how it will all come crashing down because of the one time in her life she decided to behave recklessly, irresponsibly, irreversibly —
Enough feeling sorry for yourself, her mind says in a sharp voice. You made a mistake. Fix it.
So she goes back to the endless loop of thoughts involving shogi pieces, pawns, and her place in this clan, and underneath it all, Asuka's warning: Rumor has it that Kakashi-san has a voracious appetite.
With a silent apology to Rin, to Sukea, and most of all to Kakashi, Sakura tries to see for herself if the rumors are true.
As is usually the case with rumors, there is only a little bit of truth to them. Clinically, Sakura notes that despite Kakashi's rejection, his body has responded almost immediately to the stimuli.
And he has offered to try tomorrow instead.
Sakura barely sleeps. Gliding along the underside of her skin is mortification, latent arousal from her fluctuating hormones, but most of all, razor sharp grief.
And it is all hers to bear. Alone.
Sakura is nothing if not persistent.
Despite chipping away at her patience and sanity with his snoring, Kakashi finds himself having to firmly reject her advances six nights in a row.
The worst part is that Kakashi has no one with whom he can commiserate. Even he can hear how ridiculous it sounds without saying it out loud: I need to find a way to stop my young, attractive wife from undressing and throwing herself at me every night.
"One more round!" Kakashi barks at his men.
Over the sounds of the practice katana striking, Kakashi decides that no, actually, the worst part is that every night since his return, it has been increasingly difficult to think of Sakura as a wide-eyed innocent waif. For someone untouched and married only two, almost three weeks, Sakura is worryingly adept at drawing his attention to her shapely hips and the swell of her breasts whenever they retire for the night. And the way she looks at him —
"Taichou?"
No. No. The absolute worst part is that he has betrayed Rin's memory by even looking at Sakura and having his body respond the way it did that first night —
"Taichou, what should we do next?"
Kakashi pulls himself out of his addled, sleep-deprived mind and glances at Takumi.
"One more round," Kakashi says, deflated.
"No," a stern voice cuts through the training ground. "It's time for everyone to eat."
Kakashi turns his head and his gaze softens.
"Kaa-san," he says, bowing. The rest of the men follow suit. Kakashi raises his voice so that it carries: "We will resume in an hour."
"Come with me," Aiko says, taking his hand and patting it.
He dutifully follows, but he frowns when he sees that she is leading him to the dining hall.
"I eat with the men, kaa-san."
"Not today. Today, you are spending some quality time with your father, your poor conversation-starved mother, and your lovely wife." She pauses and adds apologetically, "And the elders."
Kakashi grimaces underneath his mask.
When he sits beside Sakura, the tension between them is obvious enough to permeate the room. Aiko does her best to alleviate it by speaking with Sakura about calligraphy, poetry, and shamisen playing, and while Sakura contributes gracefully to the conversation with her measured and thoughtful responses, Kakashi contemplates spilling his bowl of soup into his lap to escape.
"You have been sleeping poorly since Kakashi's return, Sakura-hime," one of the elders says, frowning at the dark circles beneath her eyes.
Sakura stiffens momentarily. Then she nods in agreement.
Kakashi does not feel sorry for her; as far as criticism from the elders goes, this concerned comment hardly counts. But too late, he sees the calculating gleam in the elders' eyes as they study him and his new wife.
"I've been snoring," he explains blandly.
"I believe you," Aiko says, glaring at him. "Half the compound has been complaining about it. Have you been sleeping with your arms crossed again?"
Before the conversation details into an argument about sleeping positions, Daichi quickly cuts in: "It pleases us to know that you two are catching up on lost time. As you know, we are anxious for a new addition to the clan."
And he glances pointedly at Sakura's very flat stomach.
"We are trying our best, Daichi-ojii-san," Sakura says politely.
If Daichi and the elders have been hounding Sakura about a baby, that certainly explains her behavior. But the inklings of irritation gnaw at the already frayed edges of Kakashi's composure; the elders are impatient at best and inconsiderate at worst when it comes to their expectations, and he wishes that Sakura would understand that instead of pandering to them.
Kakashi takes a deep breath, sets down his chopsticks, and pulls his mask back up.
The snoring is clearly not enough of a deterrent. He's going to have to try something else.
When Aiko insists that they all take a morning stroll in the gardens, Kakashi magnanimously leads Sakura a little further ahead of his parents and the elders, then says, "Did you know that my uncle was a bit of an artist himself?"
Sakura visibly perks up.
"Sukea mentioned that Jiraiya-sama wrote poetry in his spare time, but he never said anything about art."
Of course he wouldn't. Beneath his mask, Kakashi smirks to himself.
"You can ask one of the elders to show you his woodblock prints," Kakashi says. "They may try to dissuade you from looking at them because my uncle wasn't the best, but you should insist. I'm sure they'll agree to it if you tell them that I believe you'll enjoy his work."
For the first time in their marriage, Sakura smiles softly in his direction, and Kakashi almost feels bad for the trap he has set for her.
Almost.
He returns to the training grounds in a much more jovial mood, which makes his men extraordinarily nervous but also twice as diligent with their drills.
It is a good day.
Right before dinner, he emerges from the men's bathhouse, and to his surprise, Sakura is waiting for him, her face filled with barely restrained rage.
"Let's walk to the dining hall together."
This is the first time she has given him a direct order. It is both unexpected and amusing, how much she sounds like his father, of all people, and it is for this reason that Kakashi obliges.
As they walk, she says, "I saw Jiraiya-sama's woodblocks."
"You did?" Kakashi says cheerfully. "Aren't they wonderful?"
Sakura looks at him in disbelief.
"I only wish you had warned me about the erotic nature of his work," she says slowly.
Kakashi tilts his head.
"The last few nights have given me the impression that you'd appreciate it."
He looks her dead in the eye and to his malicious amusement, Sakura blushes to the roots of her hair.
"You could have told me that the prints depicted women in compromising positions with octopi!" she whispers furiously, her eyes darting around to make sure no clan members were eavesdropping.
Kakashi scratches the back of his neck.
"Ah. Right. I forgot about that."
And he does not apologize.
Sakura clenches her fists.
"Because of you, your parents and the elders think that I'm some depraved pervert! They think I enjoy —" she cuts herself off and takes a deep breath.
Idly, Kakashi notes that this is probably for the best, as Sakura's face has gone from a bright pink to a concerning red.
"It's funny; Genma mentioned that we would be having octopus for dinner tonight," Kakashi says, changing the subject only a little bit.
Sakura glares at him.
"You did this on purpose," she says.
Kakashi smiles sympathetically.
"I'll tell everyone to save the tentacles for you." He pauses. "Or would you rather get the head?"
Sakura opts out of dinner, citing a headache.
"Poor thing," Aiko says, frowning. "She hasn't been feeling well lately."
Kakashi makes a vaguely concerned humming noise in the back of his throat and bites down on a piece of octopus.
When he returns home, Sakura is standing by the window, gazing at the moon.
At least she is fully clothed.
Kakashi readies himself to make another excuse, just in case he has not irritated her enough with today's antics, but before he can speak, she glares at him and says, "Do not ever humiliate me in front of the clan again."
Kakashi laughs. Who does this girl think she is, making demands of him this way?
"I am your wife," she says with some disbelief.
Ah. He asked that out loud. He didn't mean to.
Kakashi glances longingly towards the shoji doors that lead to their bedroom. He probably does not have to snore tonight, which means he can get a full night of real sleep.
That is, if he can end this argument soon.
"You are only my wife in name," Kakashi says with a sigh.
He can almost see the disapproving expression on Rin's face. He does not blame her; saying that did not seem like the best way to defuse the argument at all.
"I am sorry about how the clan treated Rin —"
"Don't say her name," Kakashi snarls. Which of the treacherous branch house wives fucking talked to her about Rin?
"— but that gives you no right to mistreat me for taking her place," Sakura speaks over him, her green eyes flashing with rage.
Kakashi sighs.
"I know you grew up being pampered and having everyone call you hime, but in my clan, playing one joke on a person hardly counts as mistreatment," Kakashi manages to explain to her in his kindest voice.
"You've done more than that and you know it," Sakura says, shaking with rage. "I mean it, Kakashi. I understand that you are still grieving, and that is why I have tolerated your snide remarks, your arbitrary rules about what I can and cannot do around the compound, and your rejection of my efforts to get to know you as a person. But grieving or not, I refuse to tolerate you actively working against me in plain view of the clan."
"How magnanimous of you to understand my grief," Kakashi says drolly, yawning.
"I understand you a little more than you may think," Sakura says, and he can hear the hitch in her voice. She is about to cry. "Sukea was everything to me —"
Kakashi cannot help it; he laughs.
"Do not compare the love I shared with my wife to the shallow dalliance you had with Sukea," he says, sounding extraordinarily tired. "And how much did Sukea mean to you anyway? You've seemed very eager to move on from him the past few nights."
And almost immediately after the words leave his mouth, Kakashi regrets it. Sakura clenches her fists, and for a moment, Kakashi almost expects her to strike him.
She does not. Instead, she slowly lowers herself to a sitting position, and despite the composed expression on her face, tears have begun to fall.
"I've been going about this all wrong," Sakura says softly, almost to herself.
Kakashi almost asks what the fuck she is talking about, but he realizes that if he doesn't speak back, the arguing stops and he can finally go to sleep. So Kakashi slowly shuffles himself closer and closer to the doors.
"Stop," Sakura says, sounding almost as exhausted as he feels. It's good to know his efforts haven't gone to waste. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for throwing myself at you. It's not because I want you, it's not because I want to replace anyone, and it's not because I've been listening to the elders and their demands. It's none of that."
Maybe it is because the glow of the moonlight makes Sakura look more radiant than usual. Maybe it is because the shadows of the night embrace her body in such a way that emphasizes the roundness of her breasts. Maybe it is because for once, Kakashi's brain puts two and two together.
He ignores the treacherous part of his mind that reminds him how he has gone through this so many times before, with Rin. The realization that —
"Oh," he exhales softly. "You're pregnant."