Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling. I also do not share her homophobic views.

Chapter Fifty-Four

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Rousing awake in the morning, Draco gave a soft grunt before something tickled his nose. Looking down, he saw a mop of dark hair crowded under his chin. He had never felt so content as he did in that moment, tightening his embrace around Harry as he continued to snooze against his chest. He let himself be pulled back under for another few hours of comfortable sleep.

When he awoke again, feeling just as rested as before, Draco unwound himself from Harry's snuggly embrace, and shifted to the edge of the bed. From the other room, he could hear the hushed sounds of someone shuffling around. It was probably Remus. With the full moon approaching, he'd be incredibly restless.

Hunched over, Draco ruffled a hand through his hair and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Padding out into the small flat, he found Remus pacing back and forth in the kitchen, the kettle bubbling away and the plates from the previous evening scrubbing themselves in the sink. The man was gnawing on a thumbnail and froze in the hallway when he caught sight of Draco making his way over.

"Morning," Draco offered a tentative wave.

Remus squeezed his eyes tightly and gave his head a shake, "Yes -morning, Draco. How did you sleep?"

"Okay. Harry and I stayed up a while talking."

"I know. I heard."

"… Oh."

A flush crept up the back of his neck. Well, that was embarrassing. Their talk had gotten fairly sentimental, something that Draco felt somewhat embarrassed by. Thank goodness, they'd been talking in total darkness. The fact that Draco had inadvertently mentioned the 'L' word, was something that they needed to be addressed. He'd thought that it was going to be awkward, and it was a little, but Harry had been patient, holding Draco's hand and stroking his knuckles.

"I'm scared that I will never be able to love you the way others can," Draco had said. "You deserve so much. You've seen my upbringing. Emotions are … difficult."

Harry had tipped his head sideways to rest on Draco's shoulder. "I just think … loving someone shouldn't be a competition. If you do … then … just show me. Let me know. Let me … know."

"And if it's not enough?"

"Then we talk."

"Like how we're doing now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, just like now."

"Can we do it with the lights off again?"

"Yeah. It makes me feel safer, too."

Draco had squeezed Harry's hand a little tighter and inhaled deeply. "What if I can't say it?"

Harry had given a little shrug, even though the air in the room suddenly became stifling. Draco tried to ignore his erratic heartbeat. "I think it's one of those things where, the longer you worry over it, the more it's going to stress you out, when it's meant to be something effortless."

"You sound an awful lot like Remus."

"He is a wise one."

Prying his hand away from his face, Draco saw Remus smirking tiredly at him. "For what it's worth, Harry isn't wrong about this. I remember having a panic attack by overthinking my feelings for Sirius. In hindsight, it was so effortless. But … well … gay teenagers in the seventies wasn't going to go well, was it?"

Draco offered a weak smile before shuffling forward to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.

They passed the next hour or so quietly, Harry and Sirius eventually rousing from sleep with bed hair and pillow creases on their cheeks. One by one they took turns in the small bathroom, getting themselves as fresh as possible before trekking up the well-trodden path to the castle.

Once they arrived in the entrance hall of the castle, the looks started. Draco held himself ramrod straight and tried not to let the eyes boring into his person bother him so much. But it did. He was also grateful for the extensive protection charms Remus had woven into the very fibres of his suit. A protective arm on his elbow made him remember how to breathe.

AS per McGonagall's instructions he was to be brought to the headmistress's office prior to the graduation ceremony. Taking a sharp turn to the left, he allowed Sirius to guide him up the familiar route. As they walked, he felt the brush of Harry's fingers against his own. He was grateful that they didn't hold hands; he didn't need to give onlookers more ammunition.

Once safely tucked away in McGonagall's office, Remus drew in a deep, agitated breath. "Right, I suppose this is our cue to leave. Come on, Harry."

Harry glanced up at the older man, before shooting Sirius a pleading look. His smile drooped even further when Sirius shook his head a little. Only Draco's court-appointed guardian was allowed to remain and escort him to the ceremony.

Rolling his eyes, Harry leaned up and hugged Draco around the neck. Pressing his lips to his ear, he whispered, "You'll do great, love." He pecked the blonde on the cheek, before obediently following Remus out of the office.

Once the door closed, Draco released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

"How're you holding up?" Sirius asked, coming to stand in front of him.

"I'll feel better about it when it's nothing but a memory."

Sirius huffed a smile and reached up to smooth out Draco's collar.

"Have you … um … heard from Mother?"

"Yes, she'll be escorted directly to the ceremony."

Draco exhaled heavily; his eyes focused straight ahead. His muscles felt wound taught, thrumming with nervous energy.

"You'll feel better once you're up there," Sirius assured, giving his cousin's arm a squeeze.

"A large target that everyone is focused on? Yeah, what's not to love about that?"

A bell chimed throughout the castle, letting all those that gathered within that the ceremony was due to commence shortly. Everyone needed to make their way out towards the grounds beside the lake. Closing his eyes and praying that his heart calms down, Draco drew himself up to his full height, too anxious to smirk at his cousin just about reaching his nose, before following Sirius towards the door.

.

Walking through the castle was daunting and harrowing at the same time. As his eyes roamed over sconces and ledges that had been cracked down the middle or blackened with scorch marks. Now everything gleamed, shiny and new. He couldn't help but wonder how Harry was reacting to being back in the castle. Draco, at least, had been able to acclimatise himself by handing in his assignments personally for the last year. Harry had no such luxury.

"How do you think Harry is doing with all this?" he found himself asking.

Sirius glanced up at him. "What do you mean?"

"He hasn't really been back here since …"

Sirius swallowed against the lump in his throat. "We should take comfort in the fact that he's with Remus right now. Most of his memories are back, so it shouldn't be too jarring to him. Not yet at least."

Draco's mouth was dry as they neared the entrance hall. They hadn't encountered any other people. Most people had probably kept close to the grounds in order to get the best seats for the ceremony. Stepping out into the sunshine, he wavered as the wall of heat rushed at him.

As they got nearer, the sea of heads came into view. A mass of formal robes, pointed hats and gauzy ribbons and flowers trailing along the stage and podium in the centre of it. The soft chatter of several conversations at once reached them on the summer breeze. Looking over the assembly, Draco tried to locate Remus and Harry among the others.

"They're in the third row," Sirius murmured as they walked around the perimeter towards the first two rows where the graduating students were assembled. "Look, there's a seat at the end of the second row, next to Ron and Hermione. They're waiting for you."

As if on cue, Hermione glanced over her shoulder. Upon seeing Sirius and Draco, she grinned and waved them over. Ron, sensing her movements, looked over and smiled too. With one last, troubled glance at his cousin, Draco walked down the length of the assembly, his muscles tensing to stone as he felt fifty pairs of eyes turning to watch him and judging him.

Passing by the third row, he locked eyes with Harry and Remus and gave a strained smile, before slipping into the chair beside Hermione.

"How was it?" Hermione whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

"Tense," he replied. "But no one's tried to shoot a hex at me, so that's something."

Hermione reached out and gave his wrist a squeeze.

The murmurs of the crowd behind them ceased almost immediately as soon as Professor McGonagall walked up onto the raised stage, her razor sharp robes crisp and pressed along with her peaked black velvet hat with the feathers. The war had aged her and the wrinkles were prominent in the bright afternoon sunlight. However, when she smiled down at the assembled students, there was still a light in her eyes that made her appear younger.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts," her voice carried across the assembly, crisp and clear. "We are gathered here today to congratulate not just one, but two years of students who are to graduate into the adult world."

A low murmur rippled through.

"I would like to welcome back our first -and hopefully last -eighth year students. There were given a chance to redo their final year of education due to the events that transpired during the war."

Another murmur, somewhat louder.

"We, all of us gathered here, have suffered greatly. Over the last year, we have all been trying to push forward and gain control of our lives again," her eyes seemed to scan over the rows of students, lingering somewhat longer on Draco before moving on. "Today is a celebration, a cornerstone in the rest of your lives, looking forward to a brighter future. Though we must look forward to tomorrow and what adventures and new knowledge it will bring, we must also remember the past. Learn from it, grow from it, and together we shall become stronger and stand taller."

From within her robes, she produced a scroll of parchment.

"We shall be starting with our seventh year graduates, first," clearing her throat, she unrolled the scroll and began to call the names alphabetically.

Draco tried not to flinch whenever the cheers from the gathered parents and family members resounded from behind. It didn't help that Hermione and Ron joined in when Ginny made her way up to the stage and accepted her diploma, shook McGonagall's hand and posed for a photo, before stepping back down to take her seat. Even from where he was sat, Draco could see that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, though she did look less gaunt that she had a couple of months ago.

When the last seventh year walked back to their seat, McGonagall returned to the podium with a new scroll.

"And now, please help me welcome our returning -and only -eighth year students. Hannah Abbott."

One by one, their year were called up to the stage. Draco felt his insides constrict as he filed closer to the stage, Buxley hovering just off to one side, an encouraging nod when Draco caught his eye.

He clapped when Hermione got her diploma, her parents cheering from somewhere in the third row. Being next up, Draco glanced over at the crowd, feeling his chest constrict painfully. He felt his magic throb painfully against the restraints. He tried to will himself to calm down and to ignore the sweat prickling at the nape of his neck.

"Draco Malfoy."

Those four steps seemed to drag on forever, and it felt like an eternity before he reached the podium. Minerva smiled down at him, her face radiating nothing but warmth and pride. She was proud of him. He never thought he cared much what she thought of him, but in that moment, as her hand grasped his, he felt affection swell within him.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the flash of a camera. Looking up at Minerva, he leaned in, "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Ma'am."

She squeezed his hand a little tighter, "You've done us all proud, Draco. You've done yourself proud."

Turning to look out across the crowd, he caught a flash of white-blonde hair towards the back. His smile grew even more as he zeroed in on his mother's face; she was smiling, her hands clasped together in front of her face as she watched him. She blew him a kiss and he had never felt more elated than he did in that moment. Eventually, McGonagall released him and he was left to return back to his seat, along with Ron and Hermione.

There was, technically, a celebration party back in the Great Hall for all the graduates. Naturally, the prophet would be there to take photos for the 'good news' speal for people to indulge in at the start of the summer holidays. Draco would not be in attendance, but he found that he didn't necessarily mind. He would get to spend time with his mother, Remus, Sirius and Harry. Especially Harry. The thought made him smile.

However, the party wasn't to start until later that evening, around 6pm.

Which meant there was at least four hours to kill before then.

As the assembled families and students were dismissed for the time being, Auror Buxley stepped up to the side of the stage, eyes on Draco. Swallowing against a lump in his throat, Draco inclined his head, shot once last look at his little family, before swiftly falling into step alongside the Auror and McGonagall as they retreated back to the castle.

.

Harry watched as Draco silently made his way back up to the castle, flanked by Buxley and McGonagall. His heart sank heavily in his chest. He wanted to run after the blonde and grab his hand, let him know that he was so proud of him. He had stood up there, before the gathered crowd that hissed vulgarities and abuse his way but would never do anything, as there were more than a couple of auror's present. Otherwise, who knows what would've happened.

Sirius reached down and gave his hand a firm squeeze. Harry gave a quick squeeze back, but he was suddenly overwhelmed with a rush of adrenaline. A sharp inhale from his right made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Remus could smell his nerves. A shiver ran down his spine.

"Harry … do you want to go for a walk around the castle?" Sirius asked in a low voice.

Giving a stiff nod, Harry allowed Sirius to draw him up from the chair and slowly start to guide him away towards the edge of the forest.

"Wait here a moment," Sirius murmured, before the weight of his hand was gone. Harry turned and watched his godfather return to Remus' side; he sat on the chair, close enough for their legs to brush, and slowly prised Remus' clenched fists open, all the while murmuring gently in his ear. Remus' jaw clenched and loosened, before he gave a nod and lurched to his feet. Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek before giving Remus a gentle nudge towards the castle.

When Sirius returned to his side, Harry asked, "Is he going to be alright on his own?"

"I sent him ahead. Molly and Arthur are in the hall, somewhere. I figured you'd want a few moments away from the media frenzy."

Harry snorted, "I'm surprised they haven't flocked to me yet and make the whole day about my existence."

Sirius chuckled, "Well, it's still early. There's time for all of that. Shall we?"

The dense canopy of the forest provided a cooling balm of shade that immediately soothed Harry's fizzing thoughts. The energy was still thrumming in his bones and the familiar buzzing at the base of his skull was starting to reach a crescendo. He tried to measure his breathing as they walked, the way Remus had taught him to do after his memories came back, as well as the nightmares.

His palms were clammy as he and Sirius strolled around the castle grounds. He tried to keep his frazzled mind focused on the lush green grass that cushioned their footfalls, the bright sunlight peaking through the leaves and the breeze that seemed to blow out the bad energy that cluttered at the back of his mind. But it wasn't able to stop the buzzing.

"Let me show you the way we used to sneak back into the castle before breakfast," Sirius grinned, taking Harry by the elbow and gesturing to the left side of the castle, veering towards the courtyard. However, they breezed past the archway to the courtyard and Harry grinned in amusement as they came to a narrow door ducked away behind a curtain of ivy.

"It's locked," Harry said, jiggling the handle.

Sirius rolled his eyes and opened it with a flick of his wand. "Magic, Harry. Come on."

They slipped in through the narrow door and into a tight walkway with a pockmarked ceiling that let the warm sunlight into the cool interior. They walked along, Sirius casting 'lumos' to help light their way as they moved further and further away from the door. Slowly but surely, the ground sloped gently below their feet, the air growing cooler. It came as a total shock when a wall of heat rushed at them, making Harry feel instantly queasy.

"Sirius?" he hissed. "Where are we?"

Sirius grinned over his shoulder at his godson, before reaching out in the darkness and drawing back, what turned out to be, the tapestry. Instantly the heat made sense; they had come out into a corner of the kitchens, behind the shelves that held spices and bread rolls. Harry blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light and his ears adjusted to the hustle and bustle of a thousand house-elves running around, preparing for the graduation feast later.

"Wow," he breathed, sliding out of the tunnel behind his godfather. "You guys used to sneak through here all the time? Didn't the elves mind that early in the morning?"

Sirius snorted, "No. Most of them are up by 6 o'clock to start making breakfast. Besides, I had to practically carry Remus on my back, poor thing."

"But that tunnel is so narrow."

"I know. We managed. The priority was to get Remus some breakfast and tea and then tuck him up in bed. Besides, all the elves and staff loved him. They wouldn't bat an eyelid."

Harry felt warmed by the sheer love he heard in his godfather's voice. He could picture a young Sirius giving a six foot Remus a piggyback ride in a tunnel almost too small to stand up straight in. As he glanced around the kitchen, he couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if his Hogwart's years had been more focused on studying and fun, rather than attempting to thwart evil and madmen at every turn.

"Are you hungry?" Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Harry still felt nauseated from the onslaught of heat, and the swirling and buzzing in his head definitely wasn't helping matters. "Um … not right now."

Sirius' smile slipped. "Are you alright?"

Harry nodded weakly, "Y-yeah just … too hot in here."

"Okay, lets go for a walk around the castle for a bit. This might be your last time here, at least for a while."

.

Harry had thought the castle would have looked different. Sure, he could not some differences in the stones, where magic had been used to remodel and try and purge the black magic from the foundations. The air in those areas felt newer, tingling at the back of his throat. It wasn't unpleasant, just different. Whereas other places felt comforting in their familiarity, like the echo of a thousand conversations spoken in hushed voices or a trill of laughter carried in on a breeze. Fractured memories floated to the surface as his eyes landed on various points; the tree Draco had climbed just to taunt him in fourth year, the girls' toilets on the first floor that had been completely renovated after the troll attack. His gut twisted as he trailed up the stairs, remembering the room Slughorn had hosted his Slug Club parties in and where Moaning Myrtle had flooded the bathroom.

Sirius kept up his narrative of all the fun times he and the others had gotten up to when they were young. Harry laughed at some of their antics and nudged Sirius when he got a wistful look in his grey eyes. His own memories bubbled to the surface and fizzled like seafoam. However, as they climbed more of the staircases, evening being childish enough to stand on one as it moved, and then go down another corridor.

"I miss ducking into all these alcoves," Sirius mused with a smile. "I wonder if I can sneak Moony in here later tonight."

Harry snorted, "You both teach here. You'll be back in September; do you really need to have more sordid memories?"

"Harry James Potter!" Sirius gasped mockingly. "I'll have you know, that as soon as Teddy is able to go to day care, there will be a good few midnight patrols around here."

Harry rolled his eyes with a grin.

.

As they were passing down a corridor, Harry slowed down, feeling the weight of familiarity gently resting down on his shoulders like a blanket. Sirius' voice trailed off as he turned from where he'd walked ahead. He frowned.

"What're you stopping for?"

Harry shook his head, feeling disorientated, the flagstones swelling and warping beneath his feet. He reached out to steady himself against the wall and jolted as his palm pressed against rough wood and wrought iron fittings. Had this door always been here? A shiver ran down his spine as he looked up at the warping door. Bile rushed up his throat and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop himself from puking.

A hot hand touched his shoulder. He flinched away, knocking into the door. "Harry? Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"Shhh!" he hissed out, his knees weakening and sinking downward. "Your voice … making … sick …"

He sank down to his knees, clutching at his temple as his skeleton started to quake beneath his skin. His mouth was watering, the bile burning up the back of his throat and the weight of Sirius' hand like an anvil on his body.

"Harry? Harry, lean back against the wall. There that's it, good boy. Squeeze my hand okay. Squeeze it!"

Harry blindly did as he was told, his body sweating profusely as the weight of Sirius' hand kept him grounded. His chest felt tight and drawing a full breath was growing harder. He saw spots behind his clamped eyelids. His skull felt like it had split open. A tsunami of memories, echoed and screamed against his eardrums, reverberating through his head. He wanted it to stop. He wanted the screams to go away, he wanted flashes of light to vanish, and he wanted to remember how to breathe.

"Harry? Can you hear me?"

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"AAAVADA KEDAVRA!

"… MISERABLE, UGLY, MOPING, MOANING MYRTLE!"

"TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?"

"KILL THE SPARE!"

"SAVING YOUR LIFE! AROOOOOOOOO!"

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GRAB YOUR TRUNK!"

"Harry, squeeze my hand! You have to breathe, love!"

Harry grappled and tried to reach for Sirius' robes, but the fabric was like smoke, slipping through his fingers. His insides rolled violently, forcing him to keel sideways and vomit on the floor. A numbness was seeping into his muscles, the screams blending into one continuous wail. The corridor swam in and out of focus between flashes of memories, the acidic taste burned his mouth and he absently thought that this was probably what dying felt like.

The memory swam into darkness, the trees of the forbidden forest stretching high like black fingers into the sky. Voldemort's cry rattled his teeth and chilled his blood as the searing, green light pierced his retinas and-

Nothing.

A/N: So this was a bit of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. X

I got a very random review a few weeks back asking if I was ever going to write Remus as a bottom in this story? The short answer is no.

The long answer is, I cannot physically imagine Remus as being a bottom. In my head, he already has his body contorted and broken once a month, does he REALLY need MORE pain and discomfort? Yes, it eventually turns to pleasure (sex), but it's STILL intrusive and uncomfortable so no, I feel like he would want to be the one in control, as so much of his life has been OUT of his control. And let's face it, especially in this story, Sirius is a total power-bottom. Just because you're the bottom, doesn't mean you're a submissive little waif. He is controlling and demanding and fucking RIDES Remus, he just does it with a cock up his arse.

That's just how I, personally, envision Remus. Other's have different opinions, which is totally fine, but for ME I usually see Remus as the top *shrug* xx