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Chapter 8

As soon as Emma came into the apartment, she realized Lilly had someone over. "Sorry Lils, just grabbing some clothes and I'll be on my way."

Lilly came out of her room, a sheet wrapped around her. "Sorry, I didn't know if you'd be coming back today."

"I'll be staying at Regina's again. Are you mad?"

"Not at all." She leaned on the door. "Emma, you know if you wanted to live with her, I wouldn't mind. Just don't forget me."

Emma grinned. "I was going to ask you about that. Are you sure? And don't worry, I could never forget you. You're still my best friend and always will be." She nodded to the door. "Who's in there?"

Lilly blushed. "I um…don't judge me." She said and when Emma's eyebrows raised, she sighed. "It's Killian."

"What?!" Emma laughed. "Seriously?"

"Shh! Yes, he's actually a nice guy. Plus, he's very good in bed."

Emma shook her head. "I don't wanna know. Okay, I'll leave you to it and we'll figure a date for me to move out. I'll pay my half of rent until you find someone."

"Don't worry about that. Have a good night."

Emma packed her largest suitcase and decided on a cab to get to Regina's. When Regina answered the door, she raised a brow. "What a big suitcase you have."

Emma wrapped her arms around Regina. "Lilly figured I wanted to move in here, so I packed a lot now. I'll go back some weekend and get the rest of my stuff if that's okay. I don't have a lot."

Regina kissed Emma to shut her up. "We'll hire someone to get your things. In the meantime, I think you should unpack your suitcase right into the closet and dresser. I've made room."

Emma grinned. "You knew this was going to happen?"

"I hoped it would; sooner rather than later."

The next day, Emma focused and took the self defense class seriously. She and Ruby were top of the class and Regina felt proud watching her. After the classes, they all went out for a dinner and Emma was feeling so much better.

Emma eventually moved completely in with Regina and the two were like any other couple. They were extremely happy and though they had some small tiffs, they always worked it out. Over the next few months, Emma worked less sets and danced on stage only, but she enjoyed it along with her schooling. Regina was able to give all the staff raises and she and Mal had the club running smoother than ever.

Emma hadn't heard anything from Olivia for about six months and figured that meant there was nothing to go on. She tried hard to put that all behind her and move on, and she thought she had, until the night it all came crashing down on her. She had finished her last set and was going to do some schoolwork when she found Jennifer waiting for her in the dressing room. "Regina asked that, once you're dressed, you go on up and see her. Those detectives are here and need to speak with you."

"Oh, sure. Thank you." Emma said and felt the butterflies in her stomach as she changed. She nervously made her way up the stairs to Regina's office and knocked quietly at the door. "It's me."

"Come on in, sweetheart." Regina said and Emma did. The blonde looked between Regina, Olivia, Amanda, and the fourth woman she didn't know and knew something was up. "Come sit down." Regina said, tapping the sofa next to her. "Detective Benson said she has some important things to talk to you about. If you want me to go…"

"No. Please stay. I mean…if you can." Emma said, sitting. Her hands were shaking as Regina grasped one.

"I'll stay." Regina said.

"Emma, I'm sorry to come here, but I felt I should tell you what we've found as soon as possible." Olivia said, hating this part of her job. She sighed. "There's no easy way to say this."

"What? Is she dead? Did she say I'm lying?"

Olivia glanced at Amanda and then looked back at Emma. "Unfortunately, it's a bit more serious than that. Emma, we went and talked to Margaret Stumps about you and though she denied it at first, she eventually caved in and said it was all true."

"So that's good, right? You can arrest her?"

"We did." Amanda said. "And when she got a lawyer, she…she asked for a deal."

The unknown woman sat forward. "I wouldn't have normally taken her up on her offer but…well, she had information. I'm A.D.A. Alex Cabot, by the way."

Emma knit her brows. "What kind of information? Names of the men that…that raped me?" Emma looked around, wondering why Olivia and Amanda seemed so upset. "I mean, this is good, right? I thought…I thought this was what we wanted."

"There's more, Emma." Alex said, swallowing. "Yes, we have the names of every man who raped you and that's fantastic as they will all be charged. The bad news is…" She sighed. "There's no easy way to say this. Emma, you…did you know you were being recorded?"

Emma felt instantly sick to her stomach. "What?" She gripped Regina's hand. "Recorded as in…filmed?"

Olivia nodded and closed her eyes for a moment. "You didn't know, did you?"

"No! No how did she…why?"

"Apparently, she was told it was for insurance, however, Mr. K, who's full name is Mark Kilmore, has uploaded those videos to the dark web. Emma…"

Emma shook her head. "No! No you have to be wrong! I was only a child! That's child pornography. That's…no!" She was hyperventilating and could barely tell Regina was rubbing her back.

"I think she needs a break." Regina said, tears in her eyes for her lover. "This is very disturbing information." Regina looked at Emma. "Lay back, Emma, I'll get you some water."

Emma held Regina's hand tight. "Don't leave me…I can't…I can't…breathe…"

Amanda came over and put her hand on Emma's upper arm. "Look at me, Emma. Focus with me. Deep breath in. Now, tell me five things you can see."

"Emma took a deep breath. "Regina's desk, the computer," she took a breath, "the speakers, the windows, the door."

"Good, now another deep breath. What are four things you can touch?"

Emma took another deep breath. "The sofa, the coffee table, Regina, the floor." Her breathing was getting better.

Amanda kept going, knowing it was working. "Great. Now, three things you can hear."

"Music, cheering, Regina's breathing." Emma said, taking a few more deep breaths.

Amanda chuckled. "Okay, two things you can smell."

Emma took a deep breath through her nose. "Floor cleaner and Chanel number five. My favorite of Regina's perfume."

Regina rubbed Emma's back and Amanda smiled. "Last one. One thing you can taste."

Emma swallowed. "Bile." Her chin quivered and she broke down. "How could anyone do that to a child?"

Regina held her, glad that at least her panic attack was over. Olivia wiped at her own tears. "I don't know, Emma, but we're going after all of them."

"Yeah, but that won't get me off the internet. I know how this works. Once online, always online. There are men watching me at sixteen getting raped and getting off on it! I know, I know it seems odd that a stripper would be upset by that but…"

"No, it doesn't seem odd." Alex said sharply. "Being an exotic dancer or stripper, or even if you were a prostitute, is not the same as getting raped or having your rape be watched. Emma, you were sixteen and it is not okay that people are watching this. We're going to do everything we can to get it off the web, but…well we can't get it off any computers where it was downloaded."

"However, we can and have alerted the cybercrime team and the IC3 group so that if anyone uploads the video, they will be charged."

"Is it under my name? I mean if you google 'Emma Swan', does it bring up the video?"

"Emma, I don't recommend you watch it." Amanda said.

"No, I don't…I just want to know if anyone could be watching it that knows me."

Olivia cleared her throat. "No. It's under 'Teenage Lost Girl'. There is no mention of your first or last name in any of the videos."

"Well, I guess that's good." Emma said, wiping her face. "I'm sorry I panicked. I…this is shocking news."

"Emma, there's no need to be sorry." Alex assured her.

"So, this Maggie won't be in trouble for selling Emma?" Regina asked.

"Oh, she's still getting charged for human trafficking of a minor which carries a sentence of fifteen years to life. What we are not charging is the second-degree rape charge. Emma, with the video evidence, she's going to jail for a long time."

"What about the others?" Emma asked. "Mr. K?"

"Mr. K will be going away for life, Emma. I can't see how he couldn't. He also will be paying you compensation for what he's done to you. The men who raped you will each be charged with rape and those we can find that uploaded your video will be charged with child pornography and again, paying you compensation."

Emma shook her head. "I don't want that money. I don't want to be paid for being raped."

"Emma, that's not what it's for." Amanda said softly.

Emma stood and started pacing. "No. I don't want it! I don't want any of this! I never should have come to you. It was so much better before I knew!" She went to the door and left the office, taking the steps two at a time. She had to get out of there.

"Emma! Wait!" Regina called but was far too slow.

Mal was at the foot of the steps and saw Emma coming down. She reached out and grabbed her, pulling her outside to the cool air. "Emma, what is wrong? Talk to me."

Emma looked at Mal, her eyes full of tears. "Why Mal? Why? Wasn't it enough to rape me? To sell me? Why did they have to share me over and over?"

Mal was completely confused. "What are you talking about, Emma?"

Lilly, who had seen Emma rush down the stairs came out and held the blonde. "What is it?"

Emma was sobbing now. "He recorded the rapes, Lilly. He recorded them and put them online. People are watching my sixteen-year-old self get raped and are turned on by it." She leaned over the trashcan and threw up. "They never should have told me. I didn't need to know!" She looked at Lilly as Regina, Olivia, and Amanda all came out behind her. "Why? What the hell is so wrong with me that they think this is okay? Why me, Lilly? Why did I get beat and raped and recorded and…why?"

Regina knew Emma was hyperventilating and reached her just in time to have her pass out. "Mal, call 9-1-1. I don't care if it was a panic attack, she needs help."

Mal, with tears in her own eyes, nodded and called for an ambulance while Lilly knelt by Emma. "You didn't deserve it, sweetie. It's not fair. I'm so sorry." She said softly as Regina stroked her hair. "Regina, can I please have the rest of the night off?"

Regina nodded, her own tears flowing. "Of course, Lilly. Come to the hospital with us; I know she'd want you there." Regina looked to Mal. "Can you close up?"

"You know I can. I'll call you and check in later." She said as the ambulance came up.

Olivia briefly explained to the paramedics what happened, and they loaded Emma in. "We normally only take one, but you both can come with." He said to Regina and Lilly.

Regina looked at Olivia. "Give us some time. Please."

"Of course. I'm so sorry."

Regina didn't get to respond as the door was shut and they headed to the hospital. Amanda looked at Olivia and Alex and sighed. "She's in shock."

"Of course, she is." Alex said, feeling the emotion even if she had only just met Emma. "Imagine being sixteen and forced by the one person you thought cared about you to be raped, then find out it was all recorded and put online for perverts to watch. I think she'll be in shock for a while."

Mal, who had been standing there, still not sure of what was going on, looked at the women. "That's what happened to her? And you thought it best to come to her place of work to tell her? You couldn't have waited until she was at home or had her come into the station?"

"We wanted to, but we're afraid it may be in the news and didn't want her to hear it there first." Olivia said, though she now felt horrible.

"In the news?! With her name? She was a minor by the sounds of it."

"No, not with her name, but…well, she'd know because it will most likely have her foster carer's name."

Mal shook her head. "I get it, but I still think this could have been handled better. If you'll excuse me, I need to check on my girls." She then went in the bar and fought every urge to cry for Emma.

"She's not wrong." Amanda said. "We could have done this differently."

"I know, but would the results have been the same? I mean, this is huge, and she'd have been just as shocked if we told her anywhere else." Olivia stated and looked at Alex. "Get the bastards, Alex. Get all of them."

"Oh, I plan on it, Olivia."

Emma woke up in the back of the ambulance and right away realized she had an oxygen mask on and both her hands were being held. "There you are." A male voice said. "Just take it easy, Emma. My name is Jason and you're in good hands. You've had a bit of a shock from what I've heard, but all your readings came out perfect."

"Readings?" Emma asked, her voice muffled.

"Blood pressure, EKG, your heart is just fine. I don't think you'll have to stay in the hospital, but they want to look you over just in case."

Emma looked and saw both Regina and Lilly. "I'm sorry." She said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Emma Swan, don't you dare apologize." Lilly said, softly. "I'm sorry you're going through this."

Regina kissed Emma's other hand. "She's right, baby. You have nothing to apologize for."

Emma wanted to say more, but as she thought about it, she found it harder to breathe. Jason looked over and shook his head. "Emma, just lay back and take deep breaths. I don't know the details and I don't need to, but what I do know is that you're going to survive."

Emma looked into his kind blue eyes and laid her head back, taking deep breaths. "Thank you." She said quietly.

At the hospital, the blonde was glad when a woman doctor came in to talk to her. "I'm sorry, I'm wasting your time. I just can't…when I think about what I was told, I can't breathe. It hurts but I know it's not medical."

The woman was so kind as she sat next to Emma's bed. "You're not wasting our time, Miss Swan." She said softly. "It's good to get checked out to make sure it's nothing with your heart. Now that we know it's not, I'd like to talk to you about these panic attacks. Do you get them often?"

"Not since I was younger." Emma said. "It's just that…some things from my past have come up and they're things I didn't know and…" Green/blue eyes filled with tears and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

The doctor put her hand on Emma's arm. "Oh, sweetie, you don't have to talk about it right now."

"It's not just talking." Emma said, though it was horse as she still had that lump. "Just thinking about it is enough."

The doctor wrote some things down. "Have you ever been on an anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication?"

Emma shook her head. "No. Like I said, I haven't gotten a panic attack in years. It's just that I got that news and now I don't know how to deal with it. I see my psychiatrist on Monday's, so I can talk to her."

"That's great, and I highly recommend you see if you can get in sooner, but in the meantime, I'd like to put you on something to help when this happens. It can't feel good, and I'd hate to see anyone go through this more than they need to. Xanax is what I recommend as you can take it as needed and it helps you sleep. I will do two weeks' worth and you can talk to your psychologist about possibly getting more. Since this is new, I'm prescribing the .5 MG once a day. However, you can take up to four a day if you need to, or if you're fine, you don't need to take any at all."

"Can you tell that to Regina? She's my girlfriend and she'll remember that."

"Yes, of course. Is she here with you?"

"Yes, her and my friend Lilly came with." Emma rubbed her head. "My head hurts so bad."

"It will do." The doctor said. "I'll also prescribe some Tylenol with codeine. Emma, this may sound stupid, but if you've told your Regina about this, it may help to just…cry it out. Look, I've seen your medical records and I know you've been through a lot, especially when you were a child, but it looks as though you were never given the psychological help you should have, so I'm not saying these panic attacks are nothing. All I'm saying is that if you have someone you love and trust, don't keep this inside you." She finished some notes and stood. "I'm going to have them release you, but if you have any questions, here is my card. Your prescriptions with be at the pharmacy in the lobby."

Emma took the card and read it. "Thank you, Dr. Fischer. I appreciate it."

"It's no problem. Go home, take a Xanax and a Tylenol, and get some rest."

An hour later, Regina, Emma, and Lilly left the E.R. with Emma's medication and got into Mal's waiting car. Emma sat in the back, her eyes closed and red rimmed from crying and her head leaning on the window. Clearly she didn't want to talk, and Mal understood. She took Lilly home and when they got there, Emma got out and hugged her friend. "Thanks for coming with."

Lilly held Emma longer. "I love you, Emma. You're like a sister to me, you know? I'm here for you, always."

Emma sniffed, wiping at a tear. "I know and I love you, Lils. I'll get through this; I always do." Her words may have been positive, but her voice sounded dejected.

"You don't have to do it alone or on a timeline though. Don't forget that."

Emma gave a small smile and squeezed Lilly's hand. "Thanks for the ride, Mal." Lilly called and waved before going into her place.

Mal waved back and then the three headed to Regina's place. Once there, Regina wasn't sure what to do, but it was Emma who spoke first. "If you want to come in, you can. I'm just going to go to bed anyway."

Mal looked at Regina who nodded and then parked the car. The ride in the elevator was quiet and once they were in Regina's place; Emma took her pills and went to sit on the sofa. Mal sighed and came to sit next to her. "Emma, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to, but I did hear those detectives talking. I don't think you should keep it all inside you."

Emma took a deep breath. "I know. But the thing is, I want answers and you don't have them." Her voice was almost emotionless. "I don't want to yell, scream, and cry to you when you can't give me the answers I need."

"Maybe we can't, baby, but we can give you support." Regina said, sitting next to her girlfriend."

Emma leaned into Regina. "I'm tired. I'm sorry, I'm just so tired."

Regina kissed Emma's temple. "I know, baby. It is late and you've been through a lot. How about you take the pills and we go to bed?" She looked at Mal. "Thank you so much for everything, Mal."

"Hey, it's no problem." Mal went and knelt in front of Emma. "I'm here any time, Emma."

Emma nodded. "Thanks. I um…can I have some time off? I don't think I can dance right now. I think…I think I'm going to just need some time off. I have vacation days."

"You do, but these days off will be covered under medical time off." Regina stated. "You're not using vacation time for this. Don't worry, you can use up to twelve weeks, all paid, and your benefits keep going. If you need more than that, we can discuss it."

"I'll take you off the schedule, sweetheart. Don't worry about that right now."

"Thank you." She sighed. "Thank you both for everything." She hugged them both and took her meds and went into the bedroom to get ready for bed.

Regina sighed. "I know she can't work right now, but I hate the thought of her just sitting around with this on her mind and nothing to do." She put her hand up. "You and I both know that I cannot take time off right now. We have our yearly audit that I need to be ready for."

"I know, but that's not what I was going to say. Isn't your mother always looking for something to do? Maybe she comes in and checks on her."

Regina nodded and looked at the time. "I'll call her tomorrow. Thank you, Mal."

Meanwhile, Emma sat in the bathroom, her voice quiet. "Detective Rollins please. I need to see her. I have to ask her things that only she can answer."

Amanda sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Fine. I can't make promises, but I can call the prison and see if they can get you on her visitors list. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Thank you." Emma said, meaning it. "Thank you so much."

"No promises, Emma."

"I know, but still. Thank you."

That night, as Regina lay holding Emma, the blond waited until Regina was asleep before getting up. She crept into Regina's home office and turned the computer on, but then decided to use her phone so it wouldn't be on Regina's computer. She sat in the chair and chewed her lip as she stared at her phone. She had no idea where to search or anything, so she started with Google and searched Teenage Lost Girl. After a bit of scrolling, she found what she was looking for and clicked the link. She didn't have to download anything as it was right there. She hit play and watched as her sixteen year old self begged for the man to stop and he just slapped her and forced himself inside her.

"Emma? Baby what…oh no." Regina said, seeing the tears in Emma's eyes and hearing the screams coming from Emma's phone. "No, don't watch that." She said, coming in the room.

Emma threw her phone across the room and just started sobbing. Regina held her, not saying anything, but just holding her. After a bit, Regina realized Emma was asleep from the exhaustion. It was hard, but she got Emma back into their room and into the bed. She held the blonde, wishing she could just magically fix this, but knowing she can't.

a/n: again, this has taken on a life of it's own. Hope you all enjoy.