The newest baby to grace the Hatake compound looks small enough to hold in the palm of his hand.
Kakashi stares down blankly at the white-haired little thing and his silver eyes.
Then Kakashi looks around to make sure no one is within earshot before glancing at his mother and saying, "He looks more like your son than I do, kaa-san."
Aiko looks at him reproachfully.
"That's not true, darling. You have my smile." She gently strokes a finger against the baby's forehead. "But yes, he's like you. Half Hatake, half Hyuuga."
Kakashi frowns.
"Junko-oba knows? That Jiraiya-oji strayed?" he whispers.
"Yes," Aiko says. She takes a moment to think then says, "Your father and I love each other dearly, and we've made a very serious promise to stay loyal to each other in body, mind, and spirit. But not everyone's marriage works like the one your father and I share, darling."
"What's the point of marrying someone you don't love? Aren't you going to spend the rest of your life with them?" Kakashi asks flatly.
Aiko smiles.
"At the end of the day, marriages are just partnerships," she says. "And every partnership looks different."
Kakashi raises an eyebrow.
"Isn't Junko-oba embarrassed? That Jiraiya-oji is the way he is?"
Aiko grimaces.
"I think any woman would be embarrassed under these circumstances, no matter what agreements she and her husband have made together," Aiko divulges quietly. "But your Junko-oba is also wise enough to understand that little Sukea should not be treated poorly for his father's indiscretions. That is why she has chosen to love him like her own."
Sukea coos and holds onto Kakashi's pinkie. He has a surprisingly tight grip for a baby.
"Half Hyuuga," Kakashi echoes his mother's words from earlier as he looks into Sukea's eyes. "It's like having a little brother."
Both of Jiraiya and Junko's sons are older than Kakashi by at least three years, and they are very good older brothers to him. And although Kakashi would kill for any of his clansmen without hesitation, there is something about Sukea's silver eyes that makes Kakashi understand that he wouldn't just kill for Sukea; he would also give up his own life for him.
"I think you'd be a fantastic big brother," Aiko declares.
Kakashi finally cracks a smile.
"I'll make sure of it."
He wiggles the finger that Sukea is still holding then he leans in to whisper a promise.
"What did you say?" Aiko asks.
"It's a secret," Kakashi says loftily. "Just between me and Sukea."
Aiko laughs and pats Kakashi's cheek affectionately.
Five years later, shortly before Kakashi turns seventeen, Junko-oba's weak heart finally gives out and she dies in her sleep.
Two years after that, Nagato falls in battle. Then three years after that, Yahiko.
The Hatake warrior clan is no stranger to loss, but underneath his mask, Kakashi finds himself baring his teeth in a snarl because he feels death's greedy gaze turning to Sukea.
"Do you want to train with me and Genma in the mornings?" Kakashi says.
Everyone has already left, but Kakashi and Sukea chose to stay behind. They have been standing in front of Yahiko, Nagato, and Junko's gravestones by themselves for close to an hour now.
And Sukea has not shed a single tear. Instead, he has spent the time calmly composing a poem in honor of his brother, punctuating each thoughtful brushstroke with a deep inhale and exhale.
"Yes, Kakashi-nii-san," Sukea replies softly, sounding far too sensible for a boy only days away from his tenth birthday.
So under Kakashi's careful guidance and Genma's good-natured teasing, Sukea grows into one of the Hatake clan's finest warriors over the next nine years.
But it was clearly not enough, Kakashi thinks to himself as he stares numbly at Sukea's open red throat and lifeless silver eyes. In the background, harsh breathing and guttural sobs pierce through the unsettling silence and through the walls, and Kakashi vaguely comes to the realization that this is his first time hearing Sakumo cry.
"Darling. It's not good for you to stare at this."
Aiko is standing in the doorway, silver eyes trained on the wall that isn't covered in Sukea's blood.
"I have to help him," Kakashi says hoarsely.
Aiko looks pained.
"Kakashi, he's gone. You can't —"
"I want to clean him," Kakashi clarifies, and it's not until his palms feel strangely wet when he realizes that he has dug his fingernails into them hard enough to draw blood. "I have to."
It is difficult to articulate the reason behind his conviction, but there is no need to do so; over the past nineteen years, Aiko has watched Kakashi shield Sukea from everything ugly and impure, even the unkind whispers darting around the compound, and she understands.
She nods, her eyes finally filling up with tears.
"Let me help you."
Together, over the din of various clansmen and elders shuffling around Jiraiya's home, Aiko and Kakashi carefully clean the blood off Sukea's face and throat, but not before Aiko closes Sukea's unseeing eyes with a shaky hand. They even manage to rinse the blood out of his hair.
When they finish, Aiko holds Kakashi tight to her chest. Perhaps she worries that death has turned its gaze to him, but if there is anything Kakashi has learned over the years, it is that life and death have come to a cruel agreement that it is much more amusing to watch him suffer.
Kakashi is unsure of how long they have been stewing in silence, but all he knows is that he is too tired to feel sleepy anymore. At some point, he has also sat down and removed his mask. Sakura is watching him closely, looking very much like she is torn between hiding and murdering him with her bare hands.
"Is it Sukea's?"
If possible, she somehow looks even more murderous.
"Of course," she snaps because now that the truth is out, there is no need for her to put on airs anymore. "What do you take me for?"
Kakashi raises his hands defensively.
"I'm only asking." He looks at her, eyes lingering on her flat stomach. "You don't look pregnant."
Something that looks like relief flashes over her face.
"Then how did you guess?"
Kakashi coughs.
"Just a hunch." Partially. "It made no sense for you to try so hard with me, if what you say about Sukea is true."
He watches her fists clench one more time.
"Look," she says with a sigh. "Neither of us wanted this." She gestures between the two of them. "But if we play the game right, we can still give the elders what they want without forcing ourselves to consummate this marriage at all."
"You want me to help you pass off this pregnancy as ours," Kakashi says, unimpressed.
"Yes," Sakura says, and from the look on her face, she apparently refuses to feel embarrassed about this plan.
Kakashi crosses his arms.
"No. This is your problem. You're on your own."
Sakura looks at him in disbelief.
"Producing an heir for your clan is a responsibility we both share," she says flatly. "If we do this, the elders will stop their demands."
At least, for a time. The elders hounded his mother to produce a second child once his talent was made apparent, but Sakumo was quick to remind them that Aiko nearly lost her life during childbirth. Sakumo also made it clear that he would not sacrifice his wife to add another soldier to the ranks of already countless Hatake.
"Please, Kakashi," he hears her saying. "This solution works for us both."
"It's not a solution," Kakashi says. "It is a lie, and it protects — no, enhances — your spotless reputation."
"So what if it does?" Sakura snarls. "What is so terrible about the prospect of helping me?"
Kakashi says nothing. Sakura smiles bitterly.
"I hoped I'd at least find an ally in you, based on everything Sukea told me," she says softly. "But even if there was something I could give you in exchange for your help, you wouldn't take it, would you? Because you don't want to help me, not like this. Not if it means the clan thinks you've moved on from your wife."
Kakashi's face remains impassive.
"Find another solution. And leave me out of it."
Resigned, Sakura nods.
"Alright," she says quietly.
She moves to sit by the window then stares up at the moon. The conversation is over.
Quietly, Kakashi slips into the bedroom and lays down in his usual corner. And like a rash, something that feels too much like guilt prickles at his skin.
Bullishly, Kakashi ignores it and closes his eyes.
He dreams of Sukea disappearing into a flurry of white plum blossoms.
It is not a restful sleep.
The morning after their conversation, Sakura writes to Tenten as usual, but this time, Sakura asks her to visit. Four days later, the carrier bird returns with a message confirming that Tenten will arrive within seven days of Sakura receiving the scroll.
And since Kakashi is so determined to hate her, Sakura has been flitting through the Hatake compound and its clanspeople with a strange sense of borrowed freedom.
So even though Kakashi is home, she continues to visit Pakkun, and while she always brings apple slices, she also holds some carrots for Nobu underneath her arm. She also visits Sukea's grave for the first time since stepping foot on the Hatake compound, and this soon becomes part of her morning ritual.
"This isn't how I envisioned telling you," Sakura says softly to the stone during her second visit. "But I'm pregnant. With your son." She closes her eyes. "At least for now."
Some birds chirp sweetly in the distance. A moment of weakness washes over her, so Sakura takes a deep breath and only exhales when she is certain that she won't cry.
"I've made such a mess of things, Sukea. I have no one to blame but myself. And the worst part of all is that I'm going to lose the only thing I have left of you. I'm so sorry."
But the baby is not the last vestige of Sukea's presence, Sakura realizes when she walks back from the cemetery.
She sees Sukea in the white blossoms of the plum trees planted all around the Hatake compound, the very same blossoms he was so eager to show her once they finally married.
She sees Sukea in the training grounds when she finally finds a thick wooden pole painted Sukea's favorite shade of green; there is a dent in it that is too large to fit her fist but would have been a perfect match for Sukea's knuckles.
And most heartbreakingly, she sees Sukea everytime the twins he has told her so much about speak their silent language with nothing but clever twitches of their eyebrows, the little Hatake boy who is always falling over because he cannot tear his eyes away from the sky, the gentle white-haired teenager who is a talented fighter but would rather spend his free time brushing the horses and feeding them apples.
And so during the days leading up to Tenten's visit, Sakura spends more time with the children instead of the adults she has to impress. From the children, she hears their stories from their own mouths, her eyes glistening as the details they give her either match or elaborate upon what Sukea already shared with her. Ichiro, one of the twins, offers up this intriguing piece of information:
"I miss Rin-oba. You remind me of her a lot."
Sakura pauses.
"How so, Ichiro-kun?" she says.
"Rin-oba never talked to us like we were stupid," Ichiro replies tartly.
"And when Mama died, Rin-oba always asked us to tell her funny stories about our day so that we wouldn't feel so sad," Kenji, the other twin, adds.
"And she could always tell us apart!" Ichiro says.
"Are you sure I'm able to tell you apart?" Sakura asks wryly.
"You still get our names right, even after we switch places when you're not looking," Kenji says with a pout.
Sakura laughs, and it feels good. The last time she laughed like this was with Tenten and Yamato, the day before she heard of Sukea's death.
The morning before Tenten's arrival, Sakura wakes up early, checks to make sure that Kakashi has left for his usual spar with Genma, and gathers the flowers she has prepared before heading to the Hatake cemetery. On her way there, she bumps into Ichiro and Kenji, who are each holding an elaborate bouquet of wildflowers.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, surprised.
"Today is Mama's birthday," Ichiro says.
Sakura smiles.
"Let's walk together," she says.
The twins cling onto the fabric of her yukata with their free hands, chattering excitedly about how they chose flowers that matched their mother's favorite kimono. When they finally reach the cemetery, Sakura accompanies the twins to their mother's grave and helps them arrange the flowers in an orderly fashion, setting down one of the flowers from her thick bouquet of edelweiss.
"Where is your father?" Sakura asks, frowning when Takumi does not make an appearance.
"He gets too sad," Ichiro answers matter-of-factly. "So we have to come here by ourselves." He glances at the edelweiss in her hands and says, "Who are you visiting, oba-chan?"
Sakura thinks of how to best reply.
"Two very important people I've been thinking about all week," Sakura says.
Curious, the twins follow her to the gravestone marked Sukea. They glance at each other.
"How did you know Sukea-nii?" Kenji asks.
Sakura swallows.
"He was a very good friend of mine." She smiles tremulously. "He told me a lot about you two, actually."
The twins nod in unison.
"Who else are you visiting, oba-chan?"
Sakura nods her head towards their left. The twins follow her to Rin's clean gravestone.
"Rin-oba?" Kenji says with some surprise as he reads the kanji.
"Yes," Sakura says, fluffing the bouquet of edelweiss.
"I didn't know she was buried here," Ichiro says, confused. "No one ever said."
Sakura takes a deep breath and touches the stone.
"She's been here the whole time," Sakura says. "I think it makes Kakashi very sad to know that she doesn't get any visitors."
The twins glance at each other.
"Kakashi-oji looks scary," Kenji says, his big blue eyes going wide. "But he's really nice."
Sakura only agrees with one of these statements but the boys don't need to know that. She sets down the flowers and closes her eyes.
The twins look at each other once more and scamper off. Sakura watches them return with one of the wildflower bouquets.
"Mama will understand if we share her flowers just this once," Ichiro says, setting the wildflowers down on Rin's grave.
Sakura nods, affectionately cupping their cheeks into her hands.
"Let's head back."
The twins' never-ending chatter is enough for Sakura to miss a familiar head of messy white hair ducking behind one of the plum trees surrounding the Hatake cemetery. And as they get closer to the center of the compound, Sakura frowns when she sees bodies gathering around the main gates.
"It can't be," she murmurs to herself.
Her pink hair is too noticeable, so Sakura does not have to push through the crowd; they part to make a path for her, and tears immediately spring to her eyes when she sees a woman with two elaborate hair buns held up by senbon.
"Tenten!"
Sakura runs into her sister's arms, and Tenten gleefully spins her around before planting a loud kiss onto Sakura's nose.
"Little sister," Tenten says, resting her forehead against Sakura's. When she pulls away, there is a small diamond-shaped indentation on her own forehead. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've missed you interrupting my training to tell me about all the unfunny things that Tobirama-ojii says and does in the mornings."
Sakura stifles a sob.
"I missed you too," Sakura says, giggling when Tenten pinches her side.
"I brought the herbs," Tenten whispers. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to listen out for the names of the ones you needed while Yamato-nii yammered on about the benefits of hibiscus?"
This puts a damper on Sakura's happiness, and something must have shown on her face because Tenten frowns.
"Later, you're going to tell me everything," Tenten says quietly before hugging Sakura again. "But first, show me around! I've forgotten where the bathhouse is."
Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura spies one of the younger wives, Emiko, turning bright red when Tenten winks at her. Exasperated, she looks at Tenten and whispers, "How long have you been here? Five minutes? Come on, Tenten."
Tenten shrugs.
"To be fair, I've been working on her since your wedding. She remembers me."
"Are you forgetting that all the women here are married?" Sakura says wryly.
Tenten blinks.
"That's a shame," she says, taking one last glance at Emiko before falling into step with Sakura.
"The unmarried men wear their hair half-up, if that helps you," Sakura says, sighing.
Tenten smirks.
"That's not why I'm here. I'm here for you." Tenten pauses. "But yes, that is very useful information. For future visits."
They run into Sakumo and Aiko on the way out of the dining hall.
"Welcome back to the Hatake compound, Tenten-taichou," Sakumo says, bowing.
Pleased with Sakumo's choice of honorific, Tenten bows back.
"Sakumo-sama. Aiko-sama. I hope you'll forgive my early arrival." Tenten grins at Sakura. "I was eager to see this annoying little brat again."
Sakura scowls when Tenten, who has always been so much taller than her, pats the top of her head and deliberately knocks her circlet off-center. She pokes it back in place.
Aiko laughs.
"Both of you remind me of me and my sister," Aiko says, smiling fondly at them. Then she tugs at Sakumo's hand. "Come, my love. Let's give them time to catch up."
"You know where to find us if you need help," Sakumo says warmly, bowing once more before departing.
The sisters manage to walk in silence for one minute before Tenten says, "They're a very attractive couple."
"Tenten!" Sakura exclaims.
Tenten laughs.
"Relax. I only say half the things I do because it's so easy to annoy you."
After Tenten cleans up at the bathhouse (with Sakura checking religiously to make sure Emiko has not coincidentally decided to take a morning bath as well), they settle down in the house that Sakura shares with Kakashi and have an early lunch.
As Tenten clears the table, Sakura pours some tea for herself ("No hot leaf juice for me, thank you," Tenten said earlier, shuddering).
Tenten quickly returns, levels Sakura with the same look that has made many a grown man soil himself and says, "What are the herbs for? And why couldn't you ask Yamato-nii or kaa-san for them?"
Sakura glances down at her tea.
"I think I'm pregnant."
Tenten is unamused. Her intelligent gold eyes, so much like their mother's, linger on Sakura's chest.
"You think or you know?"
Sakura blushes.
"Fine. I know for sure that I am."
Tenten nods.
"And you haven't told kaa-san the happy news because…" Tenten's eyes go wide. "Because you're not going to see this pregnancy through. Sakura, why?"
Sakura closes her eyes.
"The baby is Sukea's."
It is so silent that Sakura almost believes that time has stood still. Then Tenten moves closer to gather Sakura into her arms.
"I'm so sorry," Tenten whispers, rubbing Sakura's shoulders. "I'm so, so sorry, Sakura-chan." Tenten gently fixes the circlet around Sakura's forehead. "I take it he doesn't know."
Sakura winces.
"He does." At Tenten's visible surprise, Sakura says, "He won't expose me. I don't think so. He's had time to tell the elders, and he hasn't done anything so far. But he also won't claim the baby as his."
Tenten is clearly puzzled.
"Why?"
Sakura sighs.
"Plenty of reasons."
Tenten scowls and crosses her arms.
"I hope you also called me here to beat him into the dirt for you. What a colossal ass." Sakura laughs through her tears, but promptly stops when Tenten jumps up to stand. "No, really. Where is he?"
"Tenten, no," Sakura says in a sharp voice. "Think of how it will look."
"Incredible. Glorious. The entire Hatake clan will never cross us again."
"Tenten, I'm serious!" Sakura grabs Tenten's arm and pulls hard enough to spin her around. "Do not do this. I will never forgive you if you make this situation worse than it already is."
Tenten blinks down at her.
"Sometimes I forget how frightening you can be, Sakura-chan." Tenten reluctantly sits back down. "Can't you come home for a few months, give birth, then go back here? Kaa-san won't be too angry with you. I think she'd just be happy to have you back."
"I don't care about kaa-san being angry with me. I care about how a months-long disappearance will look to my new clan," Sakura says tiredly. "And I don't want to bring a child into this world if I cannot openly claim him."
Tenten grimaces and swipes some tears out of her eyes.
"Are you sure I can't beat the shit out of your idiot husband?"
"I'd rather you didn't."
"What if I challenge him to a friendly spar and I don't say a single word?" Tenten pleads.
Sakura smirks into her cup of tea.
"Tempting, but no."
Tenten pouts.
"Still no fun, I see." Tenten sighs then looks at the small cloth bag of herbs she brought for Sakura. It sits in the middle of the table, next to the teapot. "So how does this work?"
"I'll brew it into a tea," Sakura says quietly, opening the bag and inspecting the herbs. "The entire process shouldn't take any longer than two hours."
Tenten nods.
"Will it hurt?"
Sakura swallows nervously.
"From what I've read, no. But I need you here just in case."
"Just in case it hurts and you need someone to tell you jokes so you can laugh the pain away?"
"No, just in case things go horribly wrong and I start bleeding to death," Sakura deadpans.
Tenten looks pained.
"Why can't you just use the tried and tested herbs, Sakura?" she wails. "Now's not the time for experimental methods!"
"Because kaa-san and Yamato-nii will notice," Sakura says coldly. "They don't know about this particular combination of herbs. It's not in any of the literature we have back home."
Tenten closes her eyes.
"Are you sure about this, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura's face is glacial, impenetrable.
"Yes."
Tenten sighs.
"When?"
Sakura exhales slowly.
"Tomorrow morning. When Kakashi leaves for the day."
Tenten slips her hand into Sakura's then tugs to pull her sister to a standing position.
"Then let's make today fun. I want to meet this Pakkun you keep writing to me about."
"Alright, but be careful. Apparently he's fond of eating fingers."
"Oh, please. I'd like to see him try."
Earlier that day
Genma sprains his knee ten minutes into sparring, and although he is all too eager to work through the pain, Kakashi puts a stop to the spar immediately.
"No," Kakashi says. "Knee injuries will put you out of commission for good if you don't take care of them. No training for at least two weeks."
Genma stares at him skeptically.
"You didn't give yourself two weeks off when you sprained your knee that one time," Genma says, crossing his arms.
Kakashi shrugs.
"And it was stupid of me. I won't let you make the same mistake."
When Genma agrees to go home and rest, Kakashi immediately heads to the cemetery, very much looking forward to more time with Rin. But as he gets closer, he slows down, frowning when he sees a flash of pink up ahead.
He watches Sakura leave some flowers in front of Sukea's stone before moving to Rin's and doing the same. Two little Hatake boys follow her faithfully, and Kakashi almost smiles when he recognizes the twins.
For their own reasons, Rin and Sukea took great care to spend time with the boys who had lost their mothers at a young age. Much to Sukea's dismay, the twins only enjoyed poetry when it was nonsensical or focused on humorous bodily sounds.
And when the twins place flowers at Rin's grave then glance up at Sakura for what looks like approval, Kakashi's breath catches in his throat. He hides behind one of the plum trees as they pass by him on the way back to the compound, and before visiting Rin, he goes to Sukea.
"Hello, little brother." Kakashi looks down at the flowers Sakura has left. "I'm sorry I haven't visited you since…"
Since the wedding. To the girl that Sukea was so keen on saving himself for. Kakashi clears his throat.
"The first time we met, I made a promise to you. I don't think I've been doing a very good job keeping that promise. At all." Clenching his eyes shut, Kakashi exhales shakily. "But it's not too late to try again."
When he goes to Rin, he stares in silence at all the flowers laid out for her. And when it is time for him to leave, he finally says, "I know. I've been an ass."
A gentle breeze ruffles his hair. It almost feels affectionate.
With a sigh, Kakashi heads to the training grounds. The men are particularly talkative today.
"How good can she be if she relies on so many weapons?" he hears Hideo scoffing. "What she can do with five different weapons, I can do with one good katana."
There is only one woman infamous for the prodigious speed at which she masters new weapons.
"Why are we discussing Senju Tenten?" Kakashi asks.
His men stand a little straighter.
"She arrived at the compound this morning, taichou," Daisuke answers.
Kakashi raises his eyebrows. Sakura never mentioned that her sister would be visiting. But then again, he hasn't given Sakura much opportunity to speak to him since their last conversation.
That guilt prickles at his skin again. He exhales sharply to distract himself from it.
"Perhaps she can join us for training during her stay," Kakashi says, glaring coolly at the men who smirk under their masks. "She is a highly skilled warrior. Do not embarrass the clan by choosing to remain ignorant of this fact."
Sufficiently chastised, the men line up in their usual rows. By the time the sun is at its highest peak, Kakashi calls for a break, but this time, he does not eat with his men. Bracing himself, he walks back to the compound to seek out Sakura.
First, he checks the dining hall.
"Are you looking for someone?" Aiko asks when she sees him.
"I'm looking for Sakura," he says.
Aiko raises her eyebrows, amused. Kakashi suddenly feels self-conscious; this is the first time he has said Sakura's name out loud, and it shows when the name stumbles awkwardly out of his mouth.
Guilt. Under his skin. Kakashi ignores it.
"She had an early lunch with her sister," Aiko says. "Check your home."
Kakashi finds the house empty, but his sharp nose picks up a strangely familiar scent. His eyes snap onto a small cloth bag in the middle of the low table in the sitting room, and he inhales deeply, trying to remember where he has smelled this before.
And a heavy weight suddenly materializes in the pit of his stomach.
Several times, Rin had assembled a specific collection of herbs that smelled just like this to provide a specific type of help for girls in neighboring villages.
Kakashi's eyes move to the teapot and the solitary cup on the table, then he curses loudly before bolting outside.
"Where is Sakura?" he barks at one of the wives passing by.
Emiko squeaks, almost dropping the basket of freshly cleaned clothes in her arms. Kakashi almost kicks himself.
"I'm — I'm sorry, Emiko," Kakashi says in a much calmer voice. "Have you seen Sakura?"
"I think I saw her heading to the stables with Tenten-sama, Kakashi-sama," Emiko stammers.
"Thank you."
He runs to the stables, weaving his way through the various clanspeople going about their day. He finds Sakura and Tenten giggling as they try to get Pakkun to take an apple from Tenten's open palm. Pakkun is half-hiding behind Sakura, and every time he snorts, Sakura's long hair fans out into the air before settling back down over her shoulders.
Sakura abruptly stops laughing when she makes eye contact with Kakashi and her green eyes widen.
"Kakashi —"
"When did you take it?" he asks sharply.
"Take what?" Sakura asks incredulously.
"The tea. When did you take the tea?"
"It's lovely to see you too, brother," Tenten says wryly, and the way she emphasizes the last word tells Kakashi everything he needs to know about what she thinks of him.
Sakura looks at Tenten exasperatedly before turning her attention back to Kakashi.
"I had some tea about an hour ago," she answers slowly, sounding confused.
Kakashi feels like screaming.
"Can we speak? In private?" he asks through his teeth.
Sakura sighs, nods apologetically at Tenten, and walks some distance away from the stables, towards one of the plum trees. Kakashi follows her.
"When I told you to find a solution and leave me out of it, I didn't think you'd do this," he whispers harshly, gesticulating wildly at her belly. "I thought you'd go home for a few months and deliver the child there. Or somehow talk the elders into accepting the child. Or —"
"Kakashi, slow down," Sakura says, visibly annoyed as she comes to a stop under the shade of the plum tree. "What are you talking about?"
He exhales harshly.
"Look, I'm sorry. You're right. We should tell the elders that the child is ours. And that is why you need to throw up that tea right now. The sooner you do it, the more it decreases the chances of —" Kakashi stops, stunned when Sakura starts laughing hysterically. "What is wrong with you? Are you listening to me?"
Through her giggles, Sakura manages to wipe some tears and she says, in a low, dangerous voice, "Why now? I thought you said that it wasn't a solution, that it was a lie that would only serve to protect me and my spotless reputation."
And when she glances at him coolly, Kakashi is oddly reminded of the Senju elder who officiated their wedding ceremony.
Kakashi swallows and says, "I made a promise to Sukea a long time ago. A promise I forgot because of my grief. And my resentment for the elders. And I —" It is suddenly hard to breathe. Kakashi pulls his mask down and inhales deeply. "I'm sorry. Please, Sakura. It's not too late. Just throw up the tea. You have to do it now."
Sakura's eyes look him up and down. Kakashi is quite certain that whatever she sees before her is a poor representation of the man that a starry-eyed Sukea must have told her about.
"What was the promise?" Sakura asks, crossing her arms.
Kakashi closes his eyes.
"I promised to protect him and everything he loved."
"You've been a poor keeper of that promise," Sakura says coolly. "Why should I believe you'll do any better now?"
Kakashi supposes this is the least of what he deserves, considering the torment he has put her through over the past few weeks.
"Because I have no choice." Kakashi looks at her and says, "You are all I have left of him. You and that baby. So please, Sakura. Please throw up the tea."
Apparently unmoved, Sakura asks, "How do you know what the tea does?"
"Rin helped girls who needed it," he explains quickly. "I never forgot the smell of it."
Sakura stares at him for a very long time.
"Your wife was a talented herbalist," Sakura finally says.
Kakashi nods.
"She learned from her mother. And her grandmother." Kakashi looks at her, and he can feel the desperation coming off him in waves. "Sakura, you can ask me your questions later. Just throw up the tea."
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a crowd gathering by the stables. This is the first time Kakashi has voluntarily put himself in Sakura's company outside of clan dinners, and once again, Kakashi realizes the full impact of his asinine behavior.
"I'm in the mood for a spar!" he hears Tenten shouting boisterously in the distance. "Send me five of your best warriors!"
"I didn't take the tea," Sakura says dispassionately. "I was going to take it tomorrow morning."
Relief floods through Kakashi's veins. He exhales heavily and runs both hands through his hair.
"But the teapot I saw —"
"Just regular jasmine tea."
"And the single cup —"
"Tenten hates tea. She calls it hot leaf juice and it drives our great-uncle mad."
Kakashi nods. Belatedly, he realizes that he is shaking.
"What's the plan?" he asks.
Sakura regards him calmly.
"We can tell them whenever you're ready. Think about what this announcement means for you and how the clan will treat you from this point onwards because I will not tolerate any more misplaced temper tantrums from you," Sakura says in that same dispassionate voice. "People are still watching us. I'm going to kiss your cheek to dispel any rumors that we hate each other. Is that fine?"
Kakashi grits his teeth.
"Yes."
Sakura narrows her eyes at him.
"No, it's not," she says flatly. "Be honest with me next time."
Kakashi winces.
"What about a hug?" he suggests weakly.
Sakura nods then folds herself into him. Awkwardly, Kakashi wraps his arms around her waist, and a treacherous part of his mind suddenly conjures up the memory of the night Sakura caught him off-guard and pressed her naked body against him —
Kakashi suddenly lets go of her. Sakura sighs.
"Maybe let go a little less like you've touched a burning piece of wood," she suggests calmly. She nods towards the direction of the crowd. "If you're feeling up to it, Tenten has been wanting to spar with you. Just a friendly spar, nothing too serious." At the hesitant look on his face, she adds imploringly, "You were quite rude to her earlier. This would make for a perfect apology."
One hour later, towards the end of a very close spar, Kakashi lands face-first into the dirt, his arms trapped to his sides by the chains of Tenten's kusari-fundo.
He sighs. He curses his bad knee.
And for once, Kakashi's ego is glad for Hideo's big mouth: "I'm sure taichou is letting her win."
But even Hideo sounds like he is trying to convince himself too.
Tenten makes a grand show of slowly walking up to him before twirling a kunai between her fingers and finally positioning it to his throat.
"I yield," Kakashi growls into the dirt.
Tenten laughs uproariously before helping him up.
"And I forgive you, brother. I trust you and your clansmen will remember the strength of the Senju from this point onwards."
Kakashi glances at his wife who stands among the stunned crowd of Hatake clansmen and grimaces at the pleased gleam in her green eyes.
"You have my word."